Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Goodbye And Goodluck
DESOLÉ
We dove headfirst into love all over again, the two of us. Nights that would’ve been spent partying were now spent cuddling in my bunk, making love, swapping stories, and catching up. Everything was beautiful and nothing could hurt us anymore. Our bond was stronger than its ever been and on special nights when the moon was full I swear we could read each other’s minds. It was like our brains were melting and molding together again.
And the best part was that nobody knew but us. Not Milo, not anybody in My Chem, not Lindsey, not anybody. It was like our dirty little secret and it felt great. I was given this secret satisfaction knowing that I was Gerard’s secret girlfriend and I think it was the same for him. Our romance was strictly limited to my tour bus, except on a few occasions in a throng of people when something like a touch or a tug was easily hidden. Tonight while I was pushing through a group of fans next to Gerard and Lindsey, he slipped an note into my stalking with one hand while holding Lindsey’s hand in his other. She was none the wiser, just like everybody else
When I made it back to the bus, I hid in the tiny little bathroom we had and read it. It said that he would meet me in his tour bus instead of mine. I thought this was a little odd and risky, but having no way to communicate with him otherwise, saw now choice but to go.
I think having to keep it a secret was also the worst part about our relationship. There were some moments when he would say or do something and I would want to pounce on him and kiss him to death or even just hold his hand in public. But it was out of the question because if anybody found out the tabloid would have a field day, Gerard and I would loose thousands upon thousands of fans and dealing with all the people we were hurting would be hell.
I lied; hurting the people around us without them knowing was the worst part. Milo was suspicious about what was going on, but never said anything to me. He always gave me this disappointed look when I left the bus at night, like he knew that I was sneaking out to make out with Gerard behind the stage or gas station we happened to be parked at. And Lindsey, bless her heart, had no earthly idea what was going on around her. She was so clueless I felt sorry for her. She thought it was great that Gerard and I were getting along, but she had no idea. The guilt was hard to deal with, so I mainly suppressed it. I think Gerard did the same thing.
“Pst! Its me!” I hissed, gently tapping on the door of his tour bus. I knew he was alone, I’d watched everybody leave to go to tonight’s party. Everybody but Gerard and myself. The door swung open and Gerard was there, smiling at me.
“Hey…” he smiled, planting a hello kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and savored it for a few seconds longer than I was supposed to. Then he pulled me inside and I saw how messy everything was.
“Jesus, you guys really do live like animals.” I said, horrorstruck at the clutter and trash everywhere. Gerard laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head, obviously embarrassed.
“If you want we can go back to your bus.” He offered, his cheeks bright red. I smiled and touched his left cheek gently; it was hot with bashfulness. “I’m afraid your just going to spend the entire time cleaning instead of what you really came to do…” he hinted. I cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked.
“Oh really? And what did I really come here to do?” I asked, pushing him back into his bunk with my finger. He smiled and pulled me on top of him. I was grinning right along with him unable to help the smile on my face.
“This.” he said.
Sneaky, steamy, passionate, beautiful, pleasurable, mind blowing, great sex. That’s exactly what it was. Every one of his touch sent me reeling. His kisses made me swoon. Everything about him lead up to the great orgasm I was bound to have.
“You’re beautiful, everything.” He panted, his hands running over every inch of me. I truly felt beautiful with the way he was touching me. It was as if I was some kind of priceless porcelain doll that he was afraid to break. Our hearts were pounding in time with one another. Our every breath was in harmony with each other’s. Everything was perfect and imperfect and beautiful and broken at the same time. That’s what made great love making; imperfections. Being clumsy, banging our heads on things, being able to laugh at each other and ourselves.
One of my favorite parts about being with Gerard was afterwards, when everything went quiet and peaceful between us. Gerard would hold me in his strong arms and I would feel dainty and fragile laying next to him, but also protected and safe there. He was like some kind of brick wall surrounding every inch of me, covering me so that nothing could ever harm me. I felt a certain quiet about laying there, trying to catch my breath, still feeling those tremors left over from a great orgasm.
“Gerard, don’t fall asleep just yet. You know I can’t stay the night.” I whispered, giving him a very gentle little push. He stirred and nodded, getting out of the bunk. It was very late, we were both exhausted now. We put our clothes on in silence, both feeling that lingering sadness we always felt when we realized our lover wouldn’t be there when we woke up. That was another downfall to our relationship, never being able to spend the night together.
“Hey, I have something to give you.” Gerard said through a big yawn. I stopped at the door and waited a few seconds as he caught up to me.
“Here.” he said. He pulled a gold chain with a thick gold ring looped through it. I took it, but gave him a confused look.
“Its my wedding ring. I want you to keep it, until I can get you a real one. After all we were engaged before.” He said, smiling as he watched my reaction. I held the ring in my palm, staring at it with the utmost love and happiness.
“Oh Gerard.” I said, standing up on tip toe to give him a kiss. I could feel him smiling beneath my lips and I smiled even wider. He certainly had a way of sweeping me off my feet with those romantic little gestures like this. I couldn’t believe that he was hinting on marriage!
“But what will you tell Lindsey?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in concern. Gerard brushed it off like it was nothing. He must’ve already thought this out.
“I’ll just tell her that I lost it. Simple as that.” he said with a shrug. I felt a pang of guilt hit me but even that couldn’t make me frown right now, not with the thought of a second chance at being Gerard’s wife.
“Here, let me put it on you.” he said, lifting the chain from my palm. He unhooked it and strung it around my neck before hooking it again in the back. It hung loosely around my neck and was long enough to where I could tuck it into my shirt; the perfect disguise.
“Thank you Gerard.” I mumbled, throwing my arms around his neck.
We dove headfirst into love all over again, the two of us. Nights that would’ve been spent partying were now spent cuddling in my bunk, making love, swapping stories, and catching up. Everything was beautiful and nothing could hurt us anymore. Our bond was stronger than its ever been and on special nights when the moon was full I swear we could read each other’s minds. It was like our brains were melting and molding together again.
And the best part was that nobody knew but us. Not Milo, not anybody in My Chem, not Lindsey, not anybody. It was like our dirty little secret and it felt great. I was given this secret satisfaction knowing that I was Gerard’s secret girlfriend and I think it was the same for him. Our romance was strictly limited to my tour bus, except on a few occasions in a throng of people when something like a touch or a tug was easily hidden. Tonight while I was pushing through a group of fans next to Gerard and Lindsey, he slipped an note into my stalking with one hand while holding Lindsey’s hand in his other. She was none the wiser, just like everybody else
When I made it back to the bus, I hid in the tiny little bathroom we had and read it. It said that he would meet me in his tour bus instead of mine. I thought this was a little odd and risky, but having no way to communicate with him otherwise, saw now choice but to go.
I think having to keep it a secret was also the worst part about our relationship. There were some moments when he would say or do something and I would want to pounce on him and kiss him to death or even just hold his hand in public. But it was out of the question because if anybody found out the tabloid would have a field day, Gerard and I would loose thousands upon thousands of fans and dealing with all the people we were hurting would be hell.
I lied; hurting the people around us without them knowing was the worst part. Milo was suspicious about what was going on, but never said anything to me. He always gave me this disappointed look when I left the bus at night, like he knew that I was sneaking out to make out with Gerard behind the stage or gas station we happened to be parked at. And Lindsey, bless her heart, had no earthly idea what was going on around her. She was so clueless I felt sorry for her. She thought it was great that Gerard and I were getting along, but she had no idea. The guilt was hard to deal with, so I mainly suppressed it. I think Gerard did the same thing.
“Pst! Its me!” I hissed, gently tapping on the door of his tour bus. I knew he was alone, I’d watched everybody leave to go to tonight’s party. Everybody but Gerard and myself. The door swung open and Gerard was there, smiling at me.
“Hey…” he smiled, planting a hello kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and savored it for a few seconds longer than I was supposed to. Then he pulled me inside and I saw how messy everything was.
“Jesus, you guys really do live like animals.” I said, horrorstruck at the clutter and trash everywhere. Gerard laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head, obviously embarrassed.
“If you want we can go back to your bus.” He offered, his cheeks bright red. I smiled and touched his left cheek gently; it was hot with bashfulness. “I’m afraid your just going to spend the entire time cleaning instead of what you really came to do…” he hinted. I cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked.
“Oh really? And what did I really come here to do?” I asked, pushing him back into his bunk with my finger. He smiled and pulled me on top of him. I was grinning right along with him unable to help the smile on my face.
“This.” he said.
Sneaky, steamy, passionate, beautiful, pleasurable, mind blowing, great sex. That’s exactly what it was. Every one of his touch sent me reeling. His kisses made me swoon. Everything about him lead up to the great orgasm I was bound to have.
“You’re beautiful, everything.” He panted, his hands running over every inch of me. I truly felt beautiful with the way he was touching me. It was as if I was some kind of priceless porcelain doll that he was afraid to break. Our hearts were pounding in time with one another. Our every breath was in harmony with each other’s. Everything was perfect and imperfect and beautiful and broken at the same time. That’s what made great love making; imperfections. Being clumsy, banging our heads on things, being able to laugh at each other and ourselves.
One of my favorite parts about being with Gerard was afterwards, when everything went quiet and peaceful between us. Gerard would hold me in his strong arms and I would feel dainty and fragile laying next to him, but also protected and safe there. He was like some kind of brick wall surrounding every inch of me, covering me so that nothing could ever harm me. I felt a certain quiet about laying there, trying to catch my breath, still feeling those tremors left over from a great orgasm.
“Gerard, don’t fall asleep just yet. You know I can’t stay the night.” I whispered, giving him a very gentle little push. He stirred and nodded, getting out of the bunk. It was very late, we were both exhausted now. We put our clothes on in silence, both feeling that lingering sadness we always felt when we realized our lover wouldn’t be there when we woke up. That was another downfall to our relationship, never being able to spend the night together.
“Hey, I have something to give you.” Gerard said through a big yawn. I stopped at the door and waited a few seconds as he caught up to me.
“Here.” he said. He pulled a gold chain with a thick gold ring looped through it. I took it, but gave him a confused look.
“Its my wedding ring. I want you to keep it, until I can get you a real one. After all we were engaged before.” He said, smiling as he watched my reaction. I held the ring in my palm, staring at it with the utmost love and happiness.
“Oh Gerard.” I said, standing up on tip toe to give him a kiss. I could feel him smiling beneath my lips and I smiled even wider. He certainly had a way of sweeping me off my feet with those romantic little gestures like this. I couldn’t believe that he was hinting on marriage!
“But what will you tell Lindsey?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in concern. Gerard brushed it off like it was nothing. He must’ve already thought this out.
“I’ll just tell her that I lost it. Simple as that.” he said with a shrug. I felt a pang of guilt hit me but even that couldn’t make me frown right now, not with the thought of a second chance at being Gerard’s wife.
“Here, let me put it on you.” he said, lifting the chain from my palm. He unhooked it and strung it around my neck before hooking it again in the back. It hung loosely around my neck and was long enough to where I could tuck it into my shirt; the perfect disguise.
“Thank you Gerard.” I mumbled, throwing my arms around his neck.
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