FicWad

hello my dearies,welcome to yet another update of Full Of Holes.really sorry to FlyingSmoke who won't be able to read this cause she's going to camp,but you'll be back soon and then you can read it!:D hope camp goes well,honey.also apologies to Maria,who is spending the week in Philippines with bugs-I don't mean bugs fucking invited her there,I just mean there happens to be bugs where she is..darling,your bravery is inspiring as I would not last two minutes anywhere affiliated with any type of bug.props to you!
This chapter is kinda random and I hope it's okay.I really hope you guys like it!
And if you don't like it..well,this is my story.
Haha,I kid,I kid.
Xo
(btw,the title is a reference to Facebook,since we're talking about all things techy in this chapter.)
Lauren's Current Inspirations:"Wonderwall" by Oasis,the weekend,my eye looking slightly less purple.


Frank's P.O.V.


"Frankie,I'm leaving now,okay?There's some chicken in the fridge and-"
"Jesus Christ,Gerard,this is the fifth time you've told him!He's twenty-five,y'know."
Gerard rolls his eyes at Mikey and hugs me tightly,and I bury my head in his shoulder.Mikey and him are heading up state for a few hours to visit his parents.I can't go because of a chest infection;these days I'm coughing and spluttering like a walrus.
"Whatever,"sighs Mikey."I'll be waiting in the car."
"Yeah,you go right ahead,"mumbles Gerard.When Mikey is safely out the door,he mutters,"dumbass."
"Gerard,I'm gonna miss you so much,"I mope miserably,"and you're only gone for a few hours."
"Frank,"chuckles Gerard,"are you crying?"
I nod,laughing slightly as well."I'm gonna be on my own for most of the day,"I grumble."With nothing to fucking do."
"You could....practice."
"No."
"Watch TV?"
"We forgot to pay the bill,remember?"
"Oh yeah.Well,"he grins wickedly,"I promise I'll make it up to you tonight..."he kissed my jaw lightly,"in the boudoir..."
"Say what?"
"Bedroom,Frank."
I don't say anything,so he assumes the worst.
"Frank,you get me,don't you?Like,we're gonna f-"
"GERARD WAY,GET IN THE GODDAMN CAR!"Mikey roars from the hallway.Crap.I didn't know he'd been standing there the whole time....
"Alright,alright,"sighs Gerard,kissing my forehead,"coming,you big ass-face."
They walk out,arguing.
"Ass-face?You can't call me ass-face."
"Mikey,I'm three years older than you,I can do whatever the fuck I want.Now move over,I'm
driving."
"No way,this is my car!"
"Mikey,you drive like a blind old lady with herpes."
"What's herpes got to do with driving?"
"Would you want a person with herpes driving?"
"What?I-"
With one last wave,they leave.I wander around the apartment,occasionally shivering.I'm so bored I decide to take a shower,despite having one this morning.
I put on a clean white shirt and black jeans.What to do,what to do....I glance at my phone.
2.53p.m.
Dammit!Gerard's been gone just twenty minutes.
I know!I'll text Ray.He always has something exciting on his mind.
Hey man!Whats happening?Alls good here.....how bout u?
I wait patiently.When my phone buzzes,I nearly jump a foot in the air.
Received from:Ray
phone went off during lea's moms funeral.fuck u
Oh great.Now Ray and Lea's mom hate me.Score.
I float helplessly around the flat,wondering what in fuck's name I should do.
Then I decide to do something I promised myself I would never do:
Google myself.
Look,I'm sorry,but I am bored out of my fucking skull right now.
Right,so here goes:
Frank Iero.
AARRGGGH!That stupid paper clip from Microsoft Word just popped up.
I see you're Googling yourself,you sad depressed loner.Would you like some help with that?
"NO!"I yell at the computer,lashing out at the screen."GO AWAY,YOU STUPID PAPER CLIP,NO ONE LIKES YOU,YOU NOSY BASTARD!"
The computer sticks for a second,and then steadies itself.The first few results are pretty much the same:Frank Iero,guitarist of alternative rock band My Chemical Romance,Frank Iero,twenty five year old rock guitarist,my Wikipedia page and Frank Lero.
I'm sorry,but there's no one here with that name.Maybe Frank Iero?
rolls eyes dumbasses.
Then something catches my eye.
Let's Fuck:A Frerard One Shot
Frerard?What the hell?And what is a "one-shot"?
Is someone gonna get shot once or something?
Well.Must investigate.
And thats when Gerard lowered his trousers and said in a smooth velvety voice:
"Sugar,I'll show you a real demolition lover....
Demolition lover?Who the fuck calls a dick a "demolition lover"?
Well,Gerard obviously.
I read on.
Frank was so hard he could barely breathe,and went even harder when Gerard grabbed it...
I was "so hard"?Jesus Christ,they don't even use correct termage.
Gerard slowly milked Frank,causing the guitarist to moan and struggle in his seat.
"I'm gonna-"Frank gasped."Gerard,I think I'm gonna-"
Gonna what?!Will you stop hyphen-ing so I can fucking do what I came here to do?!
"I'm gonna cum!"
Thank you.
Frank came,causing a wave of pleasure to make it's way down his spine.He groaned and writhed,causing the older man to go faster.
"Well?Should I stop,Frank?"
"No-please-go-faster."
I notice with alarm this strongly resembles the night I lost my virginity.
Christ above,XxxmcrluverxxX,were you there?
As for the story,I simply can't look away.It's like a trainwreck.
Then they collapsed into each other's arms, exhausted.Gerard kissed Frank clumsily on his forehead and then fell asleep.
The End.
What the fuck?!I was just getting into that,you fan fiction Nazi!
Ooh,here's another one....


Third Person
Over the next four hours,Frank would stumble upon hundreds of stories,some smutty,others sentimental.This involved going to high school with Gerard-and having sex in the bathroom-going to work with Gerard in an office building-and having sex in the janitor's closet-and even going to the zoo with Gerard-having sex in the tiger enclosure.
There was however,one down side:while reading in a fiction site-sounded like "Dick wad" or something,Frank discovered a little phrase that intrigued him:
Waycest.
Frank clicked on it,wondering what it might be.He'd heard of Frerard-obviously-Frikey-he'd never be able to look at Mikey the same way ever again-and even Rob,which he didn't even see coming.But he didn't think MCR fans were so fucked up as to make Gerard have sex with his younger brother.
He was wrong.
Frank Iero clicked on the link,read it,closed it and vowed he would never read it again.Then he calmly got out of his chair and vomited on the cat.
This scene takes place when Gerard comes home,around half past seven.He discovers the family cat,Robo,with vomit dripping from his whiskers.Normally devoted to the cat,Gerard would have picked him up and cleaned it,but after a frustrating few hours arguing with his parents over what colour vest he would wear with his wedding suit,he headed straight for the bedroom,where Frank was sitting on the bed,the laptop in his lap.


Gerard's P.O.V.

"Hey baby,"I sigh,falling face first onto the bed,"how are you?"
"Oh,"Frank giggles,an evil smirk spread across his face,"I'm good."
"What's so funny?"I ask,raising my eyebrows.
"Oh...nothing.How was your parents?"
"Oh,fine.Mom thinks forest green for me,and canary yellow for you."
"Did you tell her-"
"I told her you hate canary yellow."I notice he's still smiling slightly,his eyes bright."What is so damned funny,Frank?"
"I told you,it's nothing."
"C'mon now,Frank,"I warn,sitting up,"you can't hide from me."
"Oh yes I can."
"D'ya think so?"
"I do."
Then I rugby tackle him,so that he is shoved into submission.I grab the laptop while he laughs away like a mad man.
"Ow,Gee,that really fucking hurt!"
"Yeah,well,I did rugby in school,so don't fuck with me."(This is the story's author's motto about life.)
I stare at the screen.
Stocks And Stones:A Frerard Story.
"Read it,"Frank says,still giggling from the side of the bed.
I read it,my eyes flicking through the paragraphs.I gotta admit,it's not half-ass bad:I'm the dominant one,Frank is tied up,I torture him.I'm also the whore of the story though;after giving Frank a blowjob in a Catholic church,I am arrested by the Scandinavian police force-we're in Sweden,btw,after I killed the entire New Jersey population and am wanted by the FBI for mass genocide-so I'm arrested and shot five times in the face.I am left on the ground,"bleeding like fuck,"pleading for forgiveness.Frank,the ever faithful lover,takes my hand and talks to me until the end.
He commits suicide two weeks later.
"Well?"asks Frank anxiously,wringing his hands,"do you think I'm a sick fuck?"
"No,"I say,chuckling,"you're just a pansy in this one,"I point at the screen,which has eight reviews and is rated five out of five,"seriously,it's like a Celine Dion song."
He giggles quietly,an awkward silence hanging between us.
"So..I'm a pansy?"
"A big one,"I laugh off,resting my chin on his head,"but you're my big pansy,and no one else's."
"Amen,"he mummers.
I'm about to bring it up when:
"Gerard?"
"Mmmm?"
"Remember the promise you made earlier?"
I grin."Oh yeah...."I straddle him,unbuttoning my trousers,"Sugar,I'll show you a real demolition lover..."
And after that,for some weird reason,he laughs and laughs and laughs.