Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Goodbye And Goodluck
DESOLÉ
I peed in a cup and dipped each one of the six pregnancy tests in it before laying them all across the bathroom counter backstage. Gerard sat next to me on the floor as we waited for the tests to season. My mind was blank, completely blank. I felt void of all emotion.
If I was pregnant, people would find out that Gerard had been cheating on Lindsey with me. We would each loose thousands of fans and would be blamed for everything. The tabloids would go absolutely nuts and we would be on the front page of every gossip magazine in every grocery store across America. This could not end well, this could not end well.
“You know whatever happens, I’m always gonna love you, right?” Gerard said quietly as he turned to face me. I felt a rush of affection toward him and I put my hand on his and nodded. “We’ll figure a way out of this mess, don’t you worry. No matter what those tests say, I’m going to be here for you.” he promised very seriously. There was a lump in my throat from fear and love so all I could do was nod again.
The timer on my phone went off; the tests were done. Gerard looked at me, his face blank but his eyes exploding with fear. I gulped and stood up. I collected all the tests on my shaking fingers and read them silently to myself.
I let out a whimper of fear, the only noise that echoed through the bathroom. Gerard froze, his face blank like that of a statues. Then he blinked and seemed to come back to life. I wasn’t even paying attention to that though, all I could do was stare into the dirty mirror in front of me and pray that I would wake up from this nightmare.
“What do they say?” Gerard asked gravely, tugging on my pant leg as he stood up next to me. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. “Babe, what do they say? Just tell me.” He repeated when I didn‘t respond, putting his hands on my waist. I dropped the tests in the sink and the sounds of clattering plastic roared in my ears.
“Gerard, they’re all positive, all of them but one.” I cried out finally. I felt the fear at the panic start to take control. There was no way out of this fix. This was one big mistake that could never be corrected. There was no escaping, no way out, no bright side. This was it. Game over.
“Oh my god…” He mumbled, putting his hand over his forehead. “We fucked up, we really fucked up. Oh god.” he was thinking the same thing I was.
“Gerard, I’m, twenty four! I’m too young to have a baby. And its not like I’m gonna abort the thing, could never do that. I’m stuck. Everybody is going to find out!” I whined, throwing myself against him. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me as I wept tearlessly against his shoulder.
“I know baby, I know. But you said that one was negative, right?” He asked, pulling me back to look at me. I nodded hopelessly. “Well maybe all those other ones are wrong, and the negative one is right.” he suggested.
“Gerard, that’s a one in a million chance right there. The only way we could be sure is if we saw a doctor about it. And I don’t think we’ll be able to until at least next week when we’re taking a break from the tour.” I explained.
“Then we’ll go see a doctor while we’re on break.” He said, brushing a piece of hair away from my face.
“How are you gonna get away from Lindsey?” I asked in a hushed tone as I heard footsteps outside the bathroom door.
“I’ll fake sick and say I’m going to the doctor. And then we’ll meet up and go to an ultrasounds clinic and get a real answer.” he explained to me. His optimism was insane at this point, considering how we knew that we were both doomed. But I might as well go along with it. If there was a baby, I wanted to make sure it was healthy and all.
“Gerard, I don’t know about this. What if the press finds us? Then what do we say?” I said as the possibility of running into some crazed fan girl passed through my mind.
“Nobody is going to find out about this. Things are going to work themselves out, I promise.” he said giving me a kiss on the forehead. “Now I have to get back to the tour bus, but you call me if you need anything, kay?” he said, giving me a quick kiss.
“Kay.” I said glumly.
“Everything will be fine.” Gerard said firmly as he headed out the door. I sighed and nodded, hoping he was right.
I peed in a cup and dipped each one of the six pregnancy tests in it before laying them all across the bathroom counter backstage. Gerard sat next to me on the floor as we waited for the tests to season. My mind was blank, completely blank. I felt void of all emotion.
If I was pregnant, people would find out that Gerard had been cheating on Lindsey with me. We would each loose thousands of fans and would be blamed for everything. The tabloids would go absolutely nuts and we would be on the front page of every gossip magazine in every grocery store across America. This could not end well, this could not end well.
“You know whatever happens, I’m always gonna love you, right?” Gerard said quietly as he turned to face me. I felt a rush of affection toward him and I put my hand on his and nodded. “We’ll figure a way out of this mess, don’t you worry. No matter what those tests say, I’m going to be here for you.” he promised very seriously. There was a lump in my throat from fear and love so all I could do was nod again.
The timer on my phone went off; the tests were done. Gerard looked at me, his face blank but his eyes exploding with fear. I gulped and stood up. I collected all the tests on my shaking fingers and read them silently to myself.
I let out a whimper of fear, the only noise that echoed through the bathroom. Gerard froze, his face blank like that of a statues. Then he blinked and seemed to come back to life. I wasn’t even paying attention to that though, all I could do was stare into the dirty mirror in front of me and pray that I would wake up from this nightmare.
“What do they say?” Gerard asked gravely, tugging on my pant leg as he stood up next to me. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. “Babe, what do they say? Just tell me.” He repeated when I didn‘t respond, putting his hands on my waist. I dropped the tests in the sink and the sounds of clattering plastic roared in my ears.
“Gerard, they’re all positive, all of them but one.” I cried out finally. I felt the fear at the panic start to take control. There was no way out of this fix. This was one big mistake that could never be corrected. There was no escaping, no way out, no bright side. This was it. Game over.
“Oh my god…” He mumbled, putting his hand over his forehead. “We fucked up, we really fucked up. Oh god.” he was thinking the same thing I was.
“Gerard, I’m, twenty four! I’m too young to have a baby. And its not like I’m gonna abort the thing, could never do that. I’m stuck. Everybody is going to find out!” I whined, throwing myself against him. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me as I wept tearlessly against his shoulder.
“I know baby, I know. But you said that one was negative, right?” He asked, pulling me back to look at me. I nodded hopelessly. “Well maybe all those other ones are wrong, and the negative one is right.” he suggested.
“Gerard, that’s a one in a million chance right there. The only way we could be sure is if we saw a doctor about it. And I don’t think we’ll be able to until at least next week when we’re taking a break from the tour.” I explained.
“Then we’ll go see a doctor while we’re on break.” He said, brushing a piece of hair away from my face.
“How are you gonna get away from Lindsey?” I asked in a hushed tone as I heard footsteps outside the bathroom door.
“I’ll fake sick and say I’m going to the doctor. And then we’ll meet up and go to an ultrasounds clinic and get a real answer.” he explained to me. His optimism was insane at this point, considering how we knew that we were both doomed. But I might as well go along with it. If there was a baby, I wanted to make sure it was healthy and all.
“Gerard, I don’t know about this. What if the press finds us? Then what do we say?” I said as the possibility of running into some crazed fan girl passed through my mind.
“Nobody is going to find out about this. Things are going to work themselves out, I promise.” he said giving me a kiss on the forehead. “Now I have to get back to the tour bus, but you call me if you need anything, kay?” he said, giving me a quick kiss.
“Kay.” I said glumly.
“Everything will be fine.” Gerard said firmly as he headed out the door. I sighed and nodded, hoping he was right.
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