FicWad

DESOLÉ
We waited in the room for the doctor to return with my test results. If I was pregnant, I wasn’t pregnant enough for an ultrasound yet. They had to determine this by a blood test. Gerard had held my hand the entire time, running his course and calloused fingers over the top of my hand.

I just sat there, trying to think about what I was going to do with my life after my music career went down the toilet because of this. I had flunked out of high school and I didn’t go to college of course. Music had been a last resort for and my band making it this far seemed like pure luck to me. My entire life was about to go down the shitter because Gerard and I hadn’t had the common sense to use a condom.

And how was I supposed to raise a child still being a child myself? Twenty four was too young to go off having babies, for me anyway. I wanted to wait about six or seven more years before settling down for good. And even the rumors didn’t destroy our careers, how in the hell were we supposed to tour with a baby? I sighed inwardly because the answer was so simple; you weren’t.

I glanced over at Gerard. He grinned at me wearily. This entire thing must’ve been putting such a strain on him, poor thing. I felt a sudden swell of affection toward him. Even if everything was going to total an complete shit around us, Gerard was standing by me in this mess. Even now, just holding my hand while we waited for the results that could change our lives forever was showing me how much he meant it when he said he would be there. Even if our musical careers did end because of this kid mishap, we would have each other and that was what really mattered.

“Okay the test results are in.” Said the doctor, coming back into the room with a clip board. I held my breathe and gripped onto Gerard’s hand for dear life. “And that perfect little figure of yours is going to remain intact. You aren’t pregnant.” he said.

I threw my head back and laughed with relief. I took a big breath as if I had been held under water for the past week. I looked at Gerard who seemed like he shocked and amazingly relieved.

“But wait, five of the six tests said I was pregnant. That can’t be right, can it?” I asked, peering over the test results with my own eyes. I was overjoyed to see the word “negative” in big letters written across the page.

“Well, I’m guessing your bought the bargain brand tests. Those things almost always come up wrong. What brand was the negative test?” He explained. I made and “o” shape with my mouth. I nearly died from worry because of cheap ass pregnancy tests.

“It was Clear Blue Ultra.” I said almost shyly. The doctor nodded and smiled to himself as he continued to gaze over his clip board. “But what’s with all my mood and appetite changes lately? And why did I am I two weeks late on my period?” I asked. The doctor sighed and started filling out a piece of paper.

“Well, my theory is that you were pregnant, but it failed so early on that your body hasn’t reset itself. Things like these are pretty common in mothers so young. Especially their first time being pregnant because most older mothers have the gift of being able to tell if they are or not.” He explained. I nodded.

“But you’re sure that I’m not pregnant, right?” I asked, just to make absolutely sure. The doctor laughed at my question but I was being dead serious.

“Yes, I am one hundred percent sure. Now, to prevent a scare like this from happening again, would you like me to set you up on a birth control regimen?” he asked, still smiling.

“Yes, please!” I exclaimed. He signed some piece of paper and handed it to me.

“I am going to recommend Bayer birth control because it can help give you lighter periods. Here, take this to your pharmacist and it should be ready in about an hour. Remember, it isn’t always one hundred percent affective, so try to use condoms as much as possible.” he said, handing me the smallish slip of paper. I took it gratefully and Gerard and I got up.

“Oh my god, that was way too close for comfort.” Gerard said as we walked outside to the car. I nodded in agreement. “Let’s go get some birth control and some condoms an vow never to act like horny teenager again. Kay?” I laughed at how serious he was.

“I think we can still act horny, but leave out the teenage part. How does that sound?” I asked slyly as we got in the car. Gerard smirked playfully and started the engine.

“I’m up for that. But we cannot afford to be reckless like that anymore. Lets just go get some protection and get the fuck back to the busses.” Gerard said. He had faked sick and lied to Lindsey to be here supporting me today, which I was thankful for. I had lied to Milo and told him I was out running errands. I still felt guilty about it.

“Agreed.” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. We were out of the woods…for now.

THAT NIGHT
It was late, very late and Gerard and I were cuddling together in my bunk. I’d found an old photo album under the sink and we decided to look through. I guess you could say we were celebrating the fact that I was not pregnant in our own weird little way.

“Oh my god look, that was taken the night we first met!” I exclaimed, pointing at the first photograph in the book. It was one of my band and Gerard’s all standing together making ugly faces at the camera. Gerard and I were standing right next to each other. Our hair was so greasy from going unshowered for so long, my make up smudged from sweating onstage, Gerard’s eyes red from drinking.

“Wow, we were so drunk there.” He said quietly. I couldn’t tell if he was being nostalgic or sad about that fact. We stared at that picture for a long while.

“You know, when I first saw you onstage performing I got really turned on?” He said with a dry laugh. I smirked and looked up at him. His hazel eyes were still on the picture.

“Really now?” I giggled, turning my attention back to the photo. He nodded and was blushing profusely.

“Yeah, in the last song you did a perfect splits and I got a hard on so bad I had to leave to calm myself down.” Gerard said, still laughing and blushing. I roared with laughter at this. We turned to the next page of the album so see and picture of Gerard giving me a piggy back ride backstage, when we had only been friends.

“I remember that! I fell over and nearly broke your neck because I was so drunk.” Gerard said, pointing at the picture. I smiled softly. I remembered that night too, it had been one of the funniest in my life. Next, we cam across a picture of me sitting his lap wearing some of my trade marked, crazy stage clothes. The outfit included me wearing only black tape across my nipples, tight leather shits and a pair of combat boots.

“God do I really look that trampy when I’m on stage?” I asked, making a face when I saw how I was dressed. Gerard chuckled and pulled me a little tighter.

“I don’t think its trampy, I think its pretty cute.” He assured me. I raised one of my eyebrows and I felt myself go scarlet in my cheeks and I kissed his fingers.

“Well, you’re a guy so its different.” I explained. He laughed again. “Maybe I should stop wearing things like that onstage.” I frowned a little.

“No! don’t change the way you dress, I love it! I think you look really pretty in your little midriff shirts and leather shorts.” he pleaded. I grinned; you sure as hell don’t hear that one every day.

“You like my ‘I fuck for Satan’ shirt even though it comes up to my boobs?” I teased happily. Gerard kissed the top of my head and nodded. “And my ripped fish net stalkings, and my seven inch heels?” I continued.

“I love anything you wear, trampy or slutty or classy or whatever. I think you look good in anything that you put on.” He said sweetly. I was so lucky to have a guy who was so accepting of my crazy habits.

“What about when I don’t put anything on hm?” I said jokingly. Gerard cocked his eyebrow.

“I especially enjoy that.” he kidded. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. He looked over at my alarm clock and frowned. “Shit, its two in the morning. I’d better get going, they’ll be back soon. I frowned too.

“Okay, I love you more than anything.” I pouted. Gerard grinned and gave me a peck on the lips.

“I love you more than anything, too.”