FicWad

Back at my place, it was very quiet. Valentin and Gordo went out with Armando to get something to eat. I wasn't hungry. Well, not for food. For love. For companionship. I wanted someone to love me and hold me. Besides friends and over beer, Chinese and funny movies to cheer me up. And it worked. But the whole time I couldn't help but feel jealous. Celestine and Eliseo were flirting hardcore all during the movies, beer and Chinese. I wanted to feel the way they felt. Like there was something worth waking up to every morning. To feel that companionship they shared right now. To feel the way they felt when they touched hands. With little butterflies and tingles. I wanted to feel the same way I felt with Cesar.
Maybe Limon was the answer? All of this happened because of him. Not saying it's his fault entirely, but he had something to do with it. Maybe I was meant to be with him instead. The spark was there. But I felt the spark with Cesar too. Or maybe I felt the spark with Cesar because I wanted to. Because I needed to. Not because we were meant to be. And with Limon, I didn't want or need to feel anything. But I did anyway. Or maybe I'm just insane. This was all I could think about that night. About my life and its relationships with others. What I felt and didn't feel. What I wanted and didn't want. What I needed and didn't need. Maybe I needed to see a therapist or something because all this long, hard thinking was giving me a major migrane. Maybe all I needed was some sleep.
I barely slept or ate anymore from trying to figure all this out, and what it meant for me. But everytime I came to a solution/conclusion, I came up with something to prove that solution/conclusion false or unreasonable. I felt heavy. All I did was lay in my bed and think while everyone else was going out and having fun. And for the first time in my high school career I missed a soccer game. I just sat like a lump on the couch watching Jersey Shore, or CSI, or Criminal Minds, or Gangland. It seemed that I had nothing better to do. It seemed like this was it for me. That this was all I'll ever be. A lump.
In the middle of watching CSI the doorbell rang. "Come in!" I screamed. I heard the door open. I clicked the TV off and stood up on my cructhes. I saw Eliseo come through the door and close it behind him.
"You know, it's not safe to let people in like that. What if I was a murderer or something?" Eliseo asked with his funny accent.
"First of all, you're too dumb to be a murderer and second, if a murderer were at the door, they wouldn't knock. They'd just come in!" I explained.
"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult." Eliseo chimed walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge.
"Well, take it however you want. But you're still a great soccer player and good friend." I smiled.
"Speaking of soccer, why didn't you come to the game to cheer me to victory?" Eliseo asked, taking a bite into an apple and closing the fridge.
"Because I was afraid if I went Cesar would take it I forgave him and that we could get back together. But I haven't forgiven him. I don't think I can." i answered taking a seat on top of the counter in the kitchen.
"That's what I thought." Eliseo took another bite of his apple. "You know, he's been askin' me about you."
"Really?" I scruntched my nose.
"Yeah," he nodded and finished his apple and threw the core in the trash underneath the sink opposite of me. "He sends his apologiez." Eliseo laughed.
"Apologiez ni que la chingada!" I snorted. "Now that he's done wrong he's on his hands and knees." I shook my head.
"And Limon came up to me after the game asking about you too." Eliseo picked his teeth with his tongue making that weird noise. "You're very popular, Ada." I just laughed. "You even got me." He said out of the blue.
"What do you mean?" I asked out of confusion.
"I mean, as a friend." I said.
"Oh." I said.
"What do you think I meant?" He asked.
"I thought you meant that you were in love with me too." I admitted.
"No way! I mean, I love you, but not that way! The only person I'm interested in is..." He paused while I breathed a sigh of relief to hear he wasn't in love with me too, but was instantley curious as to know who it was he was interested in. He just stood there awkwardly.
"Who is it? You have to tell me!" I glowed.
"It's nobody. And if I told you, you're gonna tell her and it's gonna be weird!" He said.
"Dude, you spilled most of the beans. Now you have to spill the rest!" I demanded enthusiastically.
"It's Celestine, okay?!" He blurted out. I just smiled in satisfaction.
"I knew it!" I giggled. "Oh my, God! Wait till I tell her and -!"
"No! 'Cause then you're just gonna ruin everything I've got planned!" Eliseo cut me off. "I will hate you forever if you do! You have to promise me that you won't tell her, Ada. Promise?" Eliseo's face so serious. I sighed.
"Te lo prometo." I mumbled.
"Gracias, Ada." He sighed in relief.
"But you have to tell me when you're gonna ask her out! And it better be soon because I can't keep this secret for long!" I warned.
"I'm gonna ask her out this weekend." He said, and smiled.
"Ooo! Que van aser?" I asked, eager to know everything he has planned.
"I want to go to the beach. Have some fun in the sun!" He shrugged. I squealed in excitement. Eliseo just laughed.
We talked for a while longer before he left and I was alone again. Left with my thoughts and myself.

I just went back to the couch to be a lump when someone knocked on the door. I growled in frustration and got up to answer it this time. I opened the door to find Cesar. He was breathing hard. "Que quieres, Cesar?" I asked. He didn't say anything, but took my face into his hands and kissed me with such emotion I almost collapsed. That spark was there, the magic had come back to me that drove me crazy everytime he kissed me. And the tingle of my cheeks when he touched me everytime. This is what I wanted. This is what I needed.
He pulled away and looked at me. "Do you really think that a kiss will make all our problems go away?" I asked.
"Yes." Cesar whispered. "Look, I didn't have sex with Ava." He said.
"Sure, you didn't." I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to lie to me, Cesar!" I looked away from him. "I don't want you to lie to me. Just stand there and feed me a bunch of bullshit lines to my face isn't what I want." I cried. Hot tears rolling down my face and a lump forming in my throat.
"I'm not lying to you, babe. I know I don't have to lie to you to fix things, amor." His hands still grasped my face. He sighed. "I can't stand you being mad at me. Now, I gave you enough space and time to think." He turned my head to avert my eyes back to his smooth complexion, honey brown eyes and think pink lips. "To think about us and Limon and everything."
"I know." I looked at my shoes. "I have been thinking a lot and still haven't decided anything about anything!"
"Well, now's your chance!" He exclaimed. "I've been thinking too, and I can accept that you and Limon are friends and that he has feelings for you. But my feelings are stronger. That's why when you showed up at my place and caught me with Ava, right after that I kicked her out. We didn't have sex. We were about to, but it never happened." He sighed and looked at me softly. "Te lo prometo."
"It took me showing up at your pad to not stick your dick into some other girl?" I snapped.
"Yes." He whispered.
"Well, at least your honest." I mumbled, even though it hurt. He just chuckled.
"Because I know I don't have to lie to you to make things better between us, Ada. I have never lied to you because I love you. Why start now?" He asked and kissed me passionately again. And just like that, I forgave him.
I could never stand myself being mad at him. Or him being mad at me for that matter. We've been through so much to throw it all away now. But so have Limon and I. And if Cesar can be chill with me being best friends with Limon. He was worth a second chance. Isn't this what I wanted?
A month later, everything went back to normal. Except that Eliseo and Celestine were together. Officially novios. I was happy as could be. Cesar and Limon, the loves of my life, working together for me. Everything was perfect. Until Angelica gave birth to a baby boy that just happened to be Cesar's. Life could not get anymore worse.

And that's when I woke up to Armando, Valentin and Gordo entering the house at 10 PM. "Shit." I mumbled and pressed my palm against my forehead. It was just a dream.