FicWad

FRANK'S P.O.V

Cold sweat dripped down my face when I woke. Another bad dream..
A replay of yesterday. Zac and Jason shoving me against the wall untill my legs could no longer support my aching body, then I colapse, leaving them to kick my all over. The pain was excruciating. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I was alone. Gerard didn't come, neither did Mikey.They didn't stop untill i became limp. Then I woke up..

I was shaking, my body ached everywhere. I looked around, I was in Gee's room again. Where was Gee?
I carefully swung my legs over the side of the bed and rose. Pain shot through my stiff body. I inhailed sharply. Then Gerard came down the stairs.
"Frankie, are you okay?"
I nodded. Gerard watched me move towards the foot of the stairs where he was standing. He wore a worried expression. Why was it me always getting hurt? Am I that fragile? It's always the same, me hurting myself or someone hurting me, and others looking after me. They're probably sick of it by now.
"Let me help you" Gee took my hand.
"I can help myself" I snapped and Gerard frowned.
"Just trying to help.."
I swallowed, and nodded. He took my hand again and I walked up the stairs, pretending the every step wasn't killing me.

He led me into the lounge where he sat me down on the couch.
"How do you feel?" He asked, taking a seat next to me.
I shrugged, "Shit."
He frowned, "Do you remember what happened yesterday?"
"Umm.." I thought "No, not really.."
He nodded.
"Well I remember half of it.. It's all sort of a blur after you and Mikey came."
"What do you remember?"
"..Um I left class.. and started walking to Maths when Jason came and grabbed me and took me behind the building.. where Zac was waiting.." A single tear rolled down my cheek, I sound so weak. I brushed it away roughly. "I'm such a fucking coward baby.." I buried my face in my hands.
Gee wrapped his arms around my waist and leant his head on my shoulder.
"You're not, don't cry Frankie. It's alright, just wait and see. I don't think youre a coward baby. Your string of lights is still bright to me..."
I shook my head, "I am, Gee."
"Frankie, Life's a tough crowd." He kissed my neck "if you think small of yourself, it only gives them a chance to think even smaller. Don't give them that chance, Frankie. Today is never too late to be brand new.."
I looked down at my socks.
"I hate it when you make me feel wrong"
Gee chuckled "Only when we both know you are"
"Whats the time, Gee?" I asked after a few minutes.
"Eleven"
"Does my Mom know I'm here? I don't want the school calling her, she'll think im skipping."
"I told her, I told her that you're not feeling well and she said that you can stay as long as you want"
"hmm, not like her to care.."
Gee hugged me tighter. "It's okay, Frankie. Mikey and I love you." He smiled

Then I remebered.. Mikey..
Too much has happened and I forgot all about the incident..
Mikey was at school now, and I know that he's trying to act like nothing ever happened. But how could he act like that? Something did happen, something huge! I still want to talk to him. I need to sort it out. I need to know how he feels, for the both of us.. If I know that he doesn't like me then I can move on, if he does.. then... I don't know..
I know most of me should be wanting him to feel nothing.. but there is still that undying part the lives inside me which still clung onto the hope that he does have feelings..

Gee and I stayed home all day, I felt to weak to do anything but sit. Though I didn't want to. Gee insisted on me getting rest.
"Geeeeeee, I'm bored."
Gerard smiled.
"What do you want to do Frankie?"
I looked at the floor "Iduno"
I looked up at him, he was smiling. I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of it. He understood that i was feeling tired. Something I love about Gerard... He was one of the most understanding people I know. We sat like that for nearly half an hour before it hit me..
"Gee?"
"Hm?"
"Why were you at my school when the fight happened? and How come you and Mikey are not hurt?"
I heard him swallow. "Well, Mikey called me and told me that he couldn't find you so I went to the school and help him look for you. When we found you, you were on the ground and Jason and Zac were kicking you.."
"How did you get them to stop?"
"Well, Zac, Jason and I got into our own fight.. Mikey took you away during."
"You got in a fight!?"
"Yeah, they were hurting you Frankie.. They got what they deserved."
I narrowed my eyes at him, he seemed compeletly unharmed.
"Why arent you hurt?"
"I um.. can take a few punches and give a few." He locked eyes with me.
"You bet them up?"
"Well, yeah they were hurting you so I had to stop them.."
I let the images of Gee beating up Zac and Jason raid my mind. I couldnt see it.. Gee just seemed too kind and caring to know how to fight people like them.. Then again, he still has scars from his past.. His past seemed like an unforgetable lesson. Also, a side of him well-hid.
I know he doesn't like to talk about it much. Seeing as anytime something along the lines of his father or his past comes up, his body tenses and he trips up on his own words. I can trust him with anything. I've given all my secrets to him, it's time for him to return the favour.

Well, I've told him most secrets.. The only one that i havnt told is about Mikey. But if I told him then I would lose them both! Then I would be nothing.. Just an empty shell, my soul gone along with my reasons for living.

But I won't leave Gee no matter how bad his past was, I will never change my view on him. He is my mirror, the one who shines back at me with a world of possibilities. He's the one who sees me at my worst and my best and never thinks any less of me. He lets me know that everything will be okay.He's the one who knows Im smiling, even in the dark...
He even is the reason for my smile..

He gives me hope.