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Sorry this took so long!

GERARD'S P.O.V

I don't know how Frank is reacting after i told him what happened with Zac, Jason and I.
He kept his narrowed eyes locked onto mine, didn't he believe me?

"Why are you looking at me like that, Frankie?"
"You.. beat up Zac and Jason?" He had a questioning smile across his lips.
"Yes.." I bit my lip, would he take this like Mikey did and act totally different around me? "Not badly or anything, I mean I only busted Zac's nose and Jason's eye and lip."
His smile slowly faded from his face.
"Gee?"
"Yeah?"
His eyes remained locked onto mine and he spoke seriously.
"I know that you don't like to talk about it.. but-"
I saw this coming..
"Frankie, I know what you're wanting me to tell you, Mikey's been trying the same ever since I got here.."
He finally dropped our gaze and looked at the floor.
"I was thinking.. well, I've got a pretty clear thought on how you know how to do that kind of stuff.. I just want to hear you tell me.."
"Why? Why does it even matter? The past is the past."
"Yes, but.. You arnt letting go of your past." He looked up at me, couriousity and worry hiding behind his honey hazel eyes.
"You don't know what I've been through! I can't drop it just like that." I snapped, a little too harshly.
Frank bit him lower lip and frowned. "Then tell me what you've been through." he said, no more than a whisper.
I breathed in and closed my eyes..
I don't want to tell him.
But I trust him. So much. It seems like the least I could do.
"You won't understand." I said through gritted teeth. No one understands.
"Gee, Please."
I shook my head.
"No. Frank, trust me. You don't want to be hearing of my past, it'll haunt you like it haunts me." My eyes ran out of focus. "I cant let that happen." I whispered.
"Gee."
"No Frank. I told you, you won't understand."
Then it came to me, spiraled through my mind.. "You would be surprised what people are capable of.. Give them a chance.. It could save your life. Never be afraid of who you are. Scream it to the world if you have to, Just make me proud."
Those words, the words that haunted me. The words from my past. His final words.. before he was gone forever..

I swallowed. My past was about to be uncovered.
"Frankie.." I started.
"Yes."
"..Have you ever lost something so important to you that you..you couldn't see a point in sicking around.. and you're surprised that you're still here today.. like you should be dead already."
Frank looked at me, unblinking, before he opened his mouth, like he was going to say something but then closed it. He shook his head slowly.
"No?"
"No not really."
I breathed in again, I could tell that this is going to be hard..
"When i moved in with my Dad, the first month or two were pretty good, Dad had a job and we were living in a reasonably good house, I started the new school. Dad told me that I will go to that school temporarily untill he can get me into the better one, seeing as that one was the worst school around.. Anyway, when dad started the drinking and the drugs everything changed.. The house was a dump and falling to pieces, Dad lost his job, and it looked like I wasn't moving schools. I got used to it. I didn't have many friends, only one actually, Travis."
Frank nodded, wanting me to go on.
"Um Travis was my best friend. Every time dad would come home drunk, he let me stay at his. If it wasn't for him, I dont know where i would be.. He would tell me that it would all be okay, if i wait and see. He reminded me that tomorrow is a new day, filled with uncountable possibilities, only if i believed there were. 'Me and you aginst the world' He would always say. The first few months at that school I would get beat up really badly. Travis taught me how to stand up. Because Travis had lived there his whole life, he could protect himself, soon he taught me how to do the same. He taught me self control also.
As we grew closer, i was questioning my sexuality, when he told me that he was gay, I knew I was too.
He was the only person in the world who knew that I was gay, but everyone in the school knew he was. No one wanted to mess with him because they knew what he was capable of but some homophobes just don't know when to quit. He would get so much shit.. It was so unfair. I wanted to come out and tell everyone that I was gay to, maybe some of the shit he was getting could transfer to me instead, but he wouldn't ever let me. 'I can take care of myself' he would smile. about a year and a half after I moved in with my dad i was practically living with him, i speant more time at his home than mine,
O-One night.. like any other, i snuck out, away from my Dad's yells of threats and ran to his home. I txt him, telling him that i needed him.. he didn't txt back. I climbed through his open window and saw him.."
I started choking, I've tried avoiding thinking about this, now having to say it.. seems impossible, frank took my hand.
"The lights were on in his bedroom, and..H-He had.. shotgun.. pointed to his head. I screamed.I yelled for him to stop.. he turned around to me.. and he told me.. he said 'Don't let me effect you.. go to mikey, he needs you more..' I told him no, i told him that i needed him liek a heart beat bu he just shook his head.. smiling slightly. I told him Mikey won't understand.. What if mikey didn't want me.. he told me..'You would be surprised what people are capable of.. Give them a chance.. It could save your life.NNever be afraid of who you are. Scream it to the world if you have to..Just make me p-proud.'..... And thats when he pulled the trigger."
My eyes became vacant.. starring out into nothing.. Tears rolled down my pale face.
I couldn't even see Frank anymore. My mind was sending flashes of images and memories of Travis..
"He fell to the floor, I-I ran over to him.. Blood leaked from everywhere. He was dead. Just like that. I..I was in shock.. I picked up the gun, next to it lay an empty bottle of vodka.. My throat went all.. dry. I kissed his cheek and whispered 'S-Sorry' into his ear.. Then i lifted the gun to my head.. no reason to keep living.. Then his parents came in.."
I swallowed.. "Im sure you can imagin what it looked like.." I kept my gaze away from Frank's face.
"Their son, dead on the ground, bullet wound to the head.. Gun in my hand.. pointing to my head.. Word went out.. everyone thought that I killed him.. I had to go to court but was proven not guilty but that didn't change the way people tought of me.. everyone still believed that I killed him.. The court read out Travis' suicide note.. it said that he didn't want to keep living in a world like this.. only having one person in the world to acccept himfor who he really was.. he felt too out of place, he said he was stuck inside a world he hated.. that no matter how many times he told me that everthing was okay, he could never truely believe it for himself.."
"When I was aloud back home, dad wasn't there. I went upstairs, not really knowing what to do.. I emptied my schoolbag because i was planning to run away to mikey.. the time when dad gave me this massive scar" I traced the scar lightly "When I tipped my bag upside down a note floated out.." I pulled that exact same note from my pocket and handed it to frank. I looked at him for the first time.. His eyes were red and tears fell.. He shakily took the note and read over I watched his lip quiver.. his breath shaky.

Silent tears rolled down my face as I watched him.. His nature reminded me of Travis.. but they were different in so many ways..

Travis would be proud of me.. 6 months have gone so fast.. I'll never forget what I've lost, and im dreanched in pain again as memories pass through me... He is nothing more than a memory.. he will never be whole again.. But he still lives forever in the light he has made in my heart. He asked me to be true.. I plan on keeping my word.

Please please review.. i don't really know how this story is working out.. please tell me what you think.. It'll help so so so much! xx