FicWad

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FRANK'S P.O.V

My hands quivered as I held Travis' letter in my hands.
Gee,
You out of all people will understand me.
You've looked up to me, you've followed me and you've been influenced by me.
When really, you are capable of much more than you take credit for, I've brought you down by letting you hide in my shadow. It's time for you to take a stand, be fearless.
In no way should you copy my actions, I've taken the easy way out. You are much better than that.
I know that you have it rough, I know that you feel alone, now probably more than ever, but you need to remind yourself that I remain right by your side, as it has always been the year and half i've known you. You are never alone.
My sudden ending has nothing to do with you, you have done nothing wrong, it's all me. But I will never let you down like this again. I cannot make any more mistakes now.
My whole life has been a game like circle and I don't know how.
I've been trying to figure this shit out and I thought i had it sorted out but I guess I didn't and black clouds still follow me around and I can't keep living that way.

There are some things that we don't talk about, things that we are ashamed and proud of but we're together all the while.
Though I'm gone, I don't want you to forget me.. But you have to let me go. Make me proud, I know you can. I will never really be gone, I can still be your gardian for when all is crumbling, I can steady you hand. I will watch over you.

This is hard, but I know you can get through it. Like I said before, you are capable of many things, you just don't know it. Remind yourself that, everyday. You are amazing, and i know that to the world you feel like nothing. But to me you are the world. Never forget that.. I selfishly kept you all to myself, now this is your chance to make someone else's world. Don't give up hope.

Never hide who you are,No matter what. I'd hate to look down and see the person who knows me more than anything, who knows who I am, who im not and who I want to be deny himself. Don't do that, yell it out 'til your heart stops beating. Younger now then we were before.
Today, you are new. When I'm gone just carry on, know that I am smiling now. I don't feel a thing anymore so don't feel my pain, just smile back.


Love you now, forever and always.

Travis x

After reading through it time and time agian, I looked at Gee. He was watching me intently. Never bliinking, barely breathing.
My voice escaped me, all I could do was cry. Tears quietly spilled down my face same with Gee.
I folded the letter and handed it back to him, he took it from his hands and slipped it back into his pocket of his jeans. He kept his eyes locked onto mine. Neither of us really knew what to do, until Gee finally dropped his gaze. He looked at the floor and swallowed.
"G-Gee, I'm sorry." he kept his eyes on the ground "I.. I h-had no idea."
I nodded, still avoiding my eyes.
I hesitated before shuffling across the couch to sit close next to him.
Slient tears dropped from his eyes, his hands were balled into tight fist and rested on his knees. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and burried myface in his neck, he rested his head on mine and breathed a shaky breath.
I've never seen Gee like this, it didn't feel right.
"I still get upset about it sometimes." He whispered, breaking the silence.
I nodded.
"It's the past, he doesn't want me to be sad.. b-but it's so hard not to.."
"I know, Gee."
"I-ifsomeone who you thought w-would be there forever, just be taken away.." He shook his head and breathed in sharply.
I kissed his cheek, He was shaking.
"I try to go on.. like he wanted, b-but.. It's not as easy as he promised it would be.."

No one deserves pain, no matter what shape or form it takes. It changes them, in every way possible. The only thing that I think i can do is be there. Tell them what they want to hear, but always stay true, never make up lies. They are so vulnerable that they will believe anything and everything, they will grasp onto every word of happiness like life support and let it take them over. If that word of encouragement fails to be true, it'll all come down like a tonne of bricks, landing them lower than where they started. Take there hand and walk them down the road to recovery, help them through the storm. Let them know that they're not alone.

Help them be fearless..

Gerard looked at me with helpless eyes.

Thats when I reaslised that he had done what Travis asked him..

Gee is my world.