FicWad

GERARD'S P.O.V

I couldn't think straight. I only just remember how it feels..

Frank sat close beside me, his head resting on my shoulder and his face buried in my neck.
"I shouldn't have brought you into this, Frankie."
"What do you mean, Gee?"
"It's my past, it's my problems.."
"So what? Would it be better to keep it all to yourself?"
"Maybe.."
"Gee, I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to. I would prefer you did than keep quiet."
I closed my mouth. Frank took his head from my shoulder.
"He would be proud, you know."
I shook my head slowly. Look at me now, I'm still as broken as i was when he first died.
"Yes, Gee. You've come back to Mikey and your Mom, that's what he wanted you to do.."
I looked at the floor.
"..And you've already made somebody else's world as well." He said softly.
Franks eyes locked onto mine, forcing mine to drown in his.
"Frank.." i whispered
"Shhh"
He wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me lightly.
"Frankie, you don't need me."
He pulled back.
"Are you kidding? Gee, Why would you think something like that? I need you like air." He smiled.
I chuckled.
"See, I can cheer you up" He smiled proudly.
I shook my head, smile dying.
"Don't waste your time, Frankie. These things are unhealing scars." I looked down.
"I know that it seems like you'll never really be whole again, Gerard..."
I slowly moved my eyes to meet his agian.
"..Have you ever loved somebody so much you'd give anything for them, You can barely breath when you're with them.." He whispered.
I continued my stare into his bright eyes.
I nodded,
"That's why I need you. Without you there is not much more to life..."


FRANK'S P.O.V

I walked down my street to my house. Mom would be angry, we are falling back into the same routines. I come home late, she yells. She wastes her breath, I don't even listen anymore.

I unlocked the door, it was just getting dark. I was only a few hours late..
"Frank? Is that you?"
"Yeah, Mom."
"Come through here, please."
I reluctantly entered the lounge where my Dad and Mom were sitting.
"Mm?"
"Where have you been? Why wernt you at school?"
He voice was surprisingly calm.
"I wasn't feeling well, I stayed at Gee's house."
"Who is 'Gee'?" Dad asked.
"Mikey's older brother."
"Where was Mikey?"
"School."
"How old is 'Gee'?"
"Um, he's almost 18, why?"
"Donna tells me that the two of you are spending a lot of time together."
My stomach knotted, my parents wernt exactly understanding. everything in their life had to be perfect.. Much to their distaste they produced a child like myself.
"Oh"
"Where is Mikey when you are there?"
"With us." usaully..
"Frank, you've been acting strange lately. We just want to know what's going on."
"Nothings going on!"
"Frank, do not talk to us like that!"
"Why of I'm happy you think it's for the wrong reasons?!"
"You aren't happy though!"
"How would you know!? You don't know shit about me."
"Frank!"
"No, you just want to change me so you are proud to call me your son!"
"Frank, you know we love you just the way you are-"
"Psh, right. You sure as hell show it.."
"If you would just come to church with us sometimes then-"
"You just wanting me to go to change me!"
"Can you blame us for it?!" Dad pitched in.
I narrowed my eyes on him "You can't change me."
"I raised you, I know how you work Frank."
"If you raised me then why didn't I grow up according to plan?!"
"You are wasting your time! Your mother and I disapprove of you and you don't care enough to be the slightest bit acceptable."
"I don't care!? I'm never going to be good enough for you, why should I even try anymore!"
"Nothing's going to make you right again, Frank. No matter how much we try. The least you could do is try too!"
"I try hard to make it, I just want to make you proud!"
"It doesn't seem like it, Frank!"
"Sorry I can't be perfect, dad. You're the one who's given up hope. Nothing's alright anymore. Nothing I do is good enough for you and you are to blind to see that I try every day. You've already turned your back on me, now it's too late."
Dad stared me down. I didn't drop my gaze untill I left, ran upstairs to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I turned the music up so loud so no one can hear my tears.
I'm already on the edge of breaking down, ontop of that, trying to comfort both Gee and Mikey and being pulled between the two.
Nothing feels alright.

I lay on my bed, staring at these four walls again, waiting for the long night to finish or sleep to take me.. whatever comes first.

Sorry that this chapter isn't very good, it's sorta just a filler. I'll try to post a better one later on today(: xx