".. It wasn't like him to do something like that.. It just reminded me on how much I don't know about him since he left.. So much has changed and he's keeping it all to himself.."
I've been trying to avoid Frank as much as possible. I know that it wasn't right.. I just don't know how to act around him. How does he want to act? I want to forget about it.. It's only another mistake i've made.. But he's not keen on dropping it.
Today, I left for school before Frank woke up. Gerard told me that he thinks he should stay home, that he's not up for it. I left on my own, when i got to school, word about Gerard's fight went out.
People I didn't know were coming up to me, questioning me.. some threatening me.
They told me that my brother got lucky, don't expect him to win again. And for me, Gee and 'your little friends' to watch our backs blah blah blah.
It wasn't anything I hadn't heard before..
I still can't get those memories out of my mind. Gerard just flipped, his eyes were unknown and his temper rose just like that. That shit came out of no where. When Gee and I first saw Frank getting beat up, my mind went blank.. I froze.
Gee didn't. Gee knew what to do.. And now I'm thinking what would have happened id Gee wasn't there. I could have been glued to that spot, watching my best friend suffer..
What I couldn't understand was why I did nothing.. I'm not afraid of getting beat up if it means Frank doesn't.. I also don't know how Gerard was so sure of himself that he was capable of beating them up.. They are huge!
I didn't see Jason or Zac at all, even though I had several classes with them.. They didn't show.
At Lunch, I waited under the sheltering tree. The weather was still as shitty as it's been all week.. i didn't really mind.. It calmed me.
"Mikey!" Bob ran through the rain and stopped, standing infront of where i was sitting, his clothes drenched and he was shivering, Ray followed close behind him.
"People've been saying that this guy came and beat up Zac and Jason and I said who and they said your brother and I told them noooo Mikey's brother doesn't live around here and they said that he does and came to school and beat up Zac and Jason because they were beating up Frank" Bob said in one rushed breath.
"Shit, I forgot to tell you, my brother lives with me now."
"How could you forget something like that?!"
"Sorry man, and it's true.. Gee came when i couldn't find Frank and He saw Jason and Zac beating him up so he bet them up.."
Bob starred at me, open mouthed.
"Woahh" He smiled "Awesome!"
"Mmm" I looked at my knees, "I suppose."
"What do you mean? He bet up the two biggest pricks in the school!" Ray said, sitting down opposite me.
"Yeah, it was really... weird though."
"What do ya mean?"
".. It wasn't like him to do something like that.. It just reminded me on how much I don't knoww about him since he left.. So much has changed and he's keeping it all to himself.."
"He's probably just getting comfortable to his new home, just give him some time." Bob said, lying down and looking up to the tree's branches.
"Is Frank okay?" Ray asked.
"Yeah, he was asleep when I left but he should be fine, i think.."
"Are you okay?"
I looked up at Ray, and nodded.
"You've been sort of.. out of it lately.."
"Mmm, just got a lot on my mind I guess."
"Is Gerard okay?" Bob asked, still gazing up at the tree's swaying leaves.
"Yeah, he's fine."
Then the rest of the day was uneventful, appart from more complements and threats..
Gee's making me dinner, I was going to.. but he claims that i am not trustworthy being unsupervised in a kitchen.. So i watched him move around the kitchen, preparing spaghetti. He stirred the ingregients in a large pot, his back to me. He was completly unaware.. his world was falling, without him knowing.
After a few more minutes, we were sitting at the dining table, eating.
I played with the spaghetti, my appietite gone along with my dignity.
"Something wrong, Mikes?"
I shook my head, keeping my head down, focusing on winding the noodle around my fork before sliding in back onto the plate.
I felt his eyes watching me.
"It's not that I don't trust you, Mikes. I just don't want the kitchen on fire.."
I smiled. "It's not that, Gee." I looked up at him, he was grinning at me.
"What is it?"
I hesitiated.. "Have you ever done something that you know is wrong.. but did it anyway?"
He lay his fork down on the side of his plate. "What's all this about, Mikey?"
I looked at him, he could tell that I wasn't going to talk.
"We all say things, do things that we don't mean.. Everyone of us has messed up too."
I hate living with this shadow..
Gee watched me with deep concern and fear.
It feels like there is a blade in my wind pipe, I can't breath..
Gerard never drops his gaze.
I cannot control myself. My voice has its own mind.. I thought it was wrong.. even though it was thee right thing.. it had to be done.. sooner rather than later.
Someone had to tell him.. He can't keep living in the shadows.
"You know that I would never do anything to hurt you."
He look confused, and nodded.
".. I made a mistake."
"What did you do Mikey.."
I looked down, swallowed and took one shaky breath.
I looked up slightly. My voice escaped me.
"Mikey? Tell me. You know you can tell me anything. What did you do?"
"I messed up, so so so bad."
"You've already said that.."
Here I go...
:O CLIFF HANGER! Sorry guys. This chapter isn't as long as I was hoping. I didn't have much time. Sorry(: Please R n R, it'll make me update faster ;D tehehe xx