FicWad

Thank you so so much everyone who reviewed and rated! :B Sorry to keep you waiting so long for this, cliffhangers are a bitch ;D Here's the next chapter though, enjoy! Rxx

FRANK'S P.O.V

My now steady breathing now filled my bedroom. I've been in my room for about an hour now, my parents have already gone to bed. They don't think I can hear them talking in their room, but i can. I've always been able to.
"I know that he isn't the perfect son, but he is our son, so we have to accept him for whoever he is."
"Linda, do you know what he is? A disappointment.."

It's the same every night.

But their talking has stopped now, they would be asleep now.
I let out a breath that I didn't know i was holding, I don't even bother trying to impress them anymore.

The room was still... silent.
It let my mind wander, trying to keep it anywhere but here.
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years.. years that have come and passed, none including any sort of impact on my own, or anyone elses life..

You start to wonder and question life.
I think i'm moving but i go no where. You start to wonder why you're here not there. It hardly seems fair at times. But I somehow manage to keep myself going. There's no telling what tomorrow brings, I don't want to miss a thing.

Something pulls my thoughts out..
I hear my phone buzz.
I smile raids me face. It's Gee.
Look outside .
I frown. What's going on?
I jump up from my bed, still fully clothed and I walk towards my window.
Gerard is standing just outside it. I can't see in the dark, the only light provided is the faint blur of the blinking street lights the run down my street. I could still make out his ebony silhouette.
"Gee? What are you doing?" I said as loud as I dared. It wouldn't be a good first impression for Gee to my parents if they wake up..
He didn't say anything, he walked towards a tree that sat strongly outside my window.
It sounds silly, but That tree helped me so much in the past. Times where I just want to leave, a thick branch hangs close to the roof outside my window, it's a great way to freedom..
I watched him climb that tree, i watched him step onto my roof lightly, causing no noise. He walked calmly to my window, I stepped back and he climbed in. I walked to my bedside table and switched the lamp on. Gee watches me from the window as I do so.
I turn to him, he is stiffly standing infront of the open window.
"Gee?"
He keeps his stare on me, he looks different. His eyes aren't bright and welcoming, they're cold and hard.
His crooked smile is gone, his pale lips are in a straight line.. All in all, he looked angry.. or upset.. whatever it was, it wasn't right. It wasn't the Gee who let me sleep in his arms, the Gee who told me his secrets, the Gee that showed me his scars from his past, the Gee who i was addicted to, who i could imagin life without, the Gee who saved me, the Gee who protected me from everyone even myself, the Gee who made me smile.. It wasn't the Gee from my dream, the one who was there when i was scared and no one else would come..
This Gee wasn't the one i remembered..
He stayed silent.
"What's up, Gerard?"
"After you left.. I learnt something."
I frowned.. I was so confused.
"What are you talking about, Gee?"
He shook his head slowly, "Would you like to know what I learnt, Frank?"
I didn't know if i did!
"Ahh.. sure."
"I learnt that what Travis said was right.. It is a surprise what people are capable of.."
I didn't say anything, what the hell is he going on about??
"Gee.. You're sort of scaring me now. What's going on."
His eyes drilled into mine, they never blinked.
"After you left I made Mikey dinner, and he told me something.."
Litterally all blood dropped from my face. My head went light and fuzzy.
"Gee.. I-I-"
"I'm not finished." He said calmly.
I closed my mouth.
"But I think you know what im talking about.. Don't you Frank."
He kept his voice calm and unalarmed, it frightened me.
I didn't say anything. He continued.
"What I don't understand.. is why you never told me."
"I-I.. I didn't want you to know.." I whispered, feeling smaller than usual.
His eyes narrowed.
"I didn't want you to know about Travis.. It took so much for me to say anything, so fucking much.. Do you understand that?" He spoke through gritted teeth.
"Of course I do, Gee."
"Then tell me why.."
"I don't want to lose you, Gee."
"I don't want to hear it."
"Gee" I begged.
"Mikey told me what happened. How long were you planning on keeping me in the dark?"
My eyes started tearing, I was lost for words.
"I-I take it all back, Gee, please."
"You should've said no. I should have been in your mind the whole time, it should've felt wrong.' I was speachless.
"Even now just looking at you feels wrong."
Tears fell from my eyes, "Gee, no. Please. You're my life. Please please!" I don't care if i wake my parents now, I don't want him to walk out on me.
He turned around and climbed through the window.
"Gee, wait!"
I ran to the window, he turned and looked back through the window.
"Was it worth it, Frank?"
"No, no Gee. I need you. Please, it was a moment of weakness."
He gave an extreamly weak smile, pain lingered in his green eyes, he sat on my roof so he was eye level with me. He cupped my face in his palm.
"You should of said no, Frankie."
He moved in close, our foreheads resting against eachothers. "If you did.." I felt his breath on my lips and he moved them closer, we were only an inch apart and it was killing me. "..You might still have me." He pulled back, leaving me shaking.
He stood and walked back, climbed down the tree and walked away, down my street into darkness.

I didn't sleep that night, I guess I would have to get used to not sleeping, I couldn't if I wanted to...

MIKEY'S P.O.V

A short while earlier
"Mikey, I'm worried"
"Gee, You know h-how.. I mean it's pretty obvious that i've been.. trying to distance myself from you and Frank when the two of you are together, right?"
He looked at me for a short second before nodding once.
"Frank is my best friend, he was there for me when no one else could be.. I felt like I was losing him.."
"Mikes, you know he loves you. You can never lose him"
"How can you be sure on that? Would you swear that on my life?"
He kept his mouth closed.
"See? I was.. paranoid that he was going to be gone. I did something. I thought it would help but it didn't, if anything it made it worse. I've ruined everything for myself, you and Frank. I thought that if I.. Did this thing then it would make Frank want to stay, i wasn't looking for it to go anywhere because i dont.. go that way.. but I thought it would make him remember that I'm here.. that i need him too."
Gee nodded slowly, "What did you do Mikey?"
"I thought it would be a good idea to.. k-kiss him but it was so wrong and I know that now and I take it all back and im so so sorry Gee please don't hate me all that it did was make it awkward."
He froze.
His face dropped. His whole body seemed to fall.
His eyes traveled towards the door. Then he turned to me quickly.
"When?"
"Monday, i think.. Gee, are you okay?"
"Of course Im not okay, fuck sake Mikey, do you imagin I'm okay!? You just can't handle your friend having someone else other than you."
"Gee, please."
"Tell me, Mikey. Did he pull away?"
"What? Gee-"
"Did he pull away?!"
"I-I Yes, not at first but h-he did at th-"
"Do you honestly expect everything to be the same!?" He leaped from his chair.
"Gee!"
"Fuck off Mikey, I don't want to see you right now."
"Gee?"
He walked quickly to the door and pulled it open.
"Where are you going? Gee, it's dark please, stay. Don't leave me me this way Gee." Tears brimmed my eyes.
"Don't wait up." He said harshly and slammed the door behind him, i was surprised he didn't wake mom up.
I was surprised he didn't wake the whole neighbourhood up.

I knew not to go after him. I went into the lounge and sat on the windowsill's cushion. I watched him walk down the street. I watched untill he disappeared. And I kept watching, debating to myself if i should follow or not.
I stayed at that windowpane for a long time, where really it wasn't long at all.

Everything went so fast. I was all alone. I've lost a the two best things this world could offer somewhere along in the bitterness and I will stay up for him all night.
I would do anything just so I don't lose the only people who mean something to me. Theyre like my swords and shields. Without them life has little meaning.
And as I looked out on the desserte New Jersey street, I come to realise how much one person can impact another. Good or Bad they still turn ones world upside down.. thats all it really is. It'll be heaven or hell, love or hate.. No inbetweens.. It's all mixed up now though.

The ones I love.. the ones who make hell bareable.. are also the ones who made it bad..

But I need them.

Even heaven is hell without them.