Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > So Wrong
“Whoa, you didn’t tell me you were living with famous rock stars.” Billy said quietly next to me. I continued to stare at the screen, and turned the volume up, leaning forward as if I would get a better view, and would find that it wasn’t really them, but some other people who looked similar to them.
“I didn’t know...” I said quietly, as the guys collected their trophy, and stood around on stage in their matching black suits, shaking hands with various people; a huge happy smiled plastered to their faces. Yeah it was definitely them, no doubt about it.
The camera shot to a table, and my jaw dropped to see a very pretty and dressed up Alba clapping, as she leant in towards another pretty girl and said something into her ear, with a smile on her perfect face. I looked at the girl, and noticed a music note on the inside of her right wrist. I felt my blood begin to boil, and I switched off the TV.
I stood up and walked into the kitchen, trying to prevent myself from punching something from anger. That Jack Daniels would do really nicely right now. I shook the thoughts from my head. Why didn’t they tell me? Did they not trust me or something? And what about Frank telling me I was his ‘best friend’? yeah, because lying to your best friend that you work for a clothing company, and hiding the huge fact that you’re a famous rock star, is something which best friends do everyday. Ok, so I had some secrets of my own, but I haven’t lied about them, and I haven’t pretended to be something that I’m not.
It all clicked in my head in that very instance, as if a light bulb had just gone off above my head. Frank putting their CD down when we were in the music store, the girl on the plane, the empty swimming pool, the sunglasses indoors of the mall, the trip to New York, and the fact that the voice on their album seemed so familiar. No wonder I thought I’d heard that voice before. It was Gerard’s.
I felt a hand rub up and down my back soothingly, and I looked up to meet Billy’s eyes.
“You didn’t have a clue did you?” she asked sadly, and I shook my head.
“They fucking lied to me. All of them. All this time. ‘Business thing’.” I said imitating Frank earlier, when I asked where he was going all dressed up like that. “Yeah, but not the average ‘business thing’.” I retorted to myself. Staring off into space and becoming caught up in my thoughts. I heard her sigh, before I turned to look at her.
“Alba lied to me.” I said, moving my eyes from hers, and staring at the wall. I didn’t see the wall though; I saw me fixing Mikey’s tie earlier, and then the guys collecting their trophy, and Alba talking to the pretty brunette at the table next to her. Honestly speaking, she was beautiful, and it made me even more jealous. I couldn’t belive how Alba had lied to me; and how the guys deliberately kept it away from me.
I heard a knock at the front door and released an angry growl, before waltzing to it. I opened the door, and stared stony-faced at a bored looking Saera staring back at me. I bet she knew. Everyone seems to fucking know but me. She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off with all the anger rising to the top.
“Look, it’s pretty obvious Frank wants nothing to do with you, and that he’s not going to give you any money, so why don’t you go and get a fucking job, like the rest of us have to do; in order to feed your sad, pathetic addiction. Ok?” I said before slamming the door shut in her shocked, disbelieving face. I was furious. I walked into the living room to see a shocked Billy staring straight at me, wide eyed.
“Sorry.” I apologised sincerely apologetically, looking down at my bare feet, and becoming extremely interested in my tattoo, and the way it curved from the inside of my foot, to the top. Stars dotting the top of it, in curved lines. The guilt seemed to replace the anger I felt. I felt bad for blowing up on louse. She hadn’t really done anything that bad, except allow herself to become addicted to something she couldn’t shake, much like I had with alcohol. I also understood the length you’d go to in order to feed your addiction, even if it meant running back to your ex-husband for money. Your ex-rock star-husband. I felt the anger begin to consume me again, and I walked past Billy and into the kitchen.
I reached up and opened the cupboard revealing the bottle of Jack Daniels. I didn’t stop to think about it, but pulled the bottle down. I uncapped the bottle and brought it to my lips, savouring the strong warming taste. The sensation it caused as it ran down my throat. It instantly replaced my body and my head; and body screamed out for more. I hastily brought the bottle to my lips. It felt so good, and I remembered why I turned to drinking in the first place. It’s calming properties. My anger slowly subsided, before I heard a shriek, and the bottle was snatched away from me.
“What the fuck do you think your doing?” she shrieked, and I brought my eyes up to meet with hers. The anger and shock in them sent waves of guilt and regret crashing and flooding through my body at the realisation at what I had just done. I cursed myself under my breath.
“Sorry.” I apologised, meaning it 10000%. Billy sighed and I followed suit. Just when I thought I’d finally found myself some good, genuine friends, I’m let down again. Seriously. What have I done wrong to deserve all the shit I’ve been through? I cant think of anything as to fuel all of this hate directed at me in the past 20 odd years.
“C’mere.” Billy said quietly, pulling me towards her. I rested my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back soothingly. “They probably had a genuine reason for not telling you.” she reasoned, as she continued to rub my back.
“I’m so stupid. I should have realized. All of those signs.” I sighed, mentally kicking myself. No, that was an underestimate. It was more like mentally beating myself. Billy pulled away from me suddenly, and placed her hands on my shoulders.
“Don’t ever think that again. How was you to know who they were? It’s not exactly something which happens every day is it?” she told me sternly, looking me straight in the eyes. I sighed and diverted my gaze from hers. I really thought I’d found some good friends. Obviously not. It’s all been a lie.
She sighed and brushed some hair away from my face, before kissing my forehead and pulling me into another tight hug. She was getting all maternal over me again. Must be the hormones or something.
As we stood there, I thought over everything, and how I was going to handle this.
“Don’t tell Dylan.” I said suddenly, and pulling away from her. She narrowed her eyes at me in confusion, obviously waiting for me to continue. “You know how he’d react. Look how he reacted when he found out I had a boyfriend.” I said and her expression softened in realization, before she smiled at the memory of Dylan using his police officer friend, to check to see if my first and only boyfriend had a criminal record. I smiled at the memory, before sadness consumed me and my smile faded.
“Tell you what. I promise not to tell him, if you promise not to turn to that again.” she said, motioning to my left with her eyes. I followed her gaze and my eyes landed on the bottle of the whiskey. I nodded in agreement to the deal. That really was no path I wanted to back down again.
“So what are you going to do about it then? Are you going to talk to them when they come in?” she asked me, and I snapped my eyes back to hers.
“No im not going to do anything.” I said, and smiled at her blank expression.
“I'm gona act like normal and see when they were gona tell me…if they were ever going to tell me.” I said, and smiled at the smirk on her lips, before she shook her head.
“Sounds like a plan.” she smiled and nodded in confirmation.
“It is.”
Authors Note:
Sorry about the lack of updates guys. Guess what? I saw MCR live last night :D it was freaking amazing. You can find some of my videos from the concert on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuMb6DxopKw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUqZkadsTkc&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gL_cyYAVjs&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjTo6cMMDv4&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0CK2H1lh1Y
The boys are even better in person, and yes, Frank is a leetle guy. Leetle and very fuckin' sexy, mmmm. In other news, Ray has a broken foot, but played the entire show with a smile on his face.
“I didn’t know...” I said quietly, as the guys collected their trophy, and stood around on stage in their matching black suits, shaking hands with various people; a huge happy smiled plastered to their faces. Yeah it was definitely them, no doubt about it.
The camera shot to a table, and my jaw dropped to see a very pretty and dressed up Alba clapping, as she leant in towards another pretty girl and said something into her ear, with a smile on her perfect face. I looked at the girl, and noticed a music note on the inside of her right wrist. I felt my blood begin to boil, and I switched off the TV.
I stood up and walked into the kitchen, trying to prevent myself from punching something from anger. That Jack Daniels would do really nicely right now. I shook the thoughts from my head. Why didn’t they tell me? Did they not trust me or something? And what about Frank telling me I was his ‘best friend’? yeah, because lying to your best friend that you work for a clothing company, and hiding the huge fact that you’re a famous rock star, is something which best friends do everyday. Ok, so I had some secrets of my own, but I haven’t lied about them, and I haven’t pretended to be something that I’m not.
It all clicked in my head in that very instance, as if a light bulb had just gone off above my head. Frank putting their CD down when we were in the music store, the girl on the plane, the empty swimming pool, the sunglasses indoors of the mall, the trip to New York, and the fact that the voice on their album seemed so familiar. No wonder I thought I’d heard that voice before. It was Gerard’s.
I felt a hand rub up and down my back soothingly, and I looked up to meet Billy’s eyes.
“You didn’t have a clue did you?” she asked sadly, and I shook my head.
“They fucking lied to me. All of them. All this time. ‘Business thing’.” I said imitating Frank earlier, when I asked where he was going all dressed up like that. “Yeah, but not the average ‘business thing’.” I retorted to myself. Staring off into space and becoming caught up in my thoughts. I heard her sigh, before I turned to look at her.
“Alba lied to me.” I said, moving my eyes from hers, and staring at the wall. I didn’t see the wall though; I saw me fixing Mikey’s tie earlier, and then the guys collecting their trophy, and Alba talking to the pretty brunette at the table next to her. Honestly speaking, she was beautiful, and it made me even more jealous. I couldn’t belive how Alba had lied to me; and how the guys deliberately kept it away from me.
I heard a knock at the front door and released an angry growl, before waltzing to it. I opened the door, and stared stony-faced at a bored looking Saera staring back at me. I bet she knew. Everyone seems to fucking know but me. She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off with all the anger rising to the top.
“Look, it’s pretty obvious Frank wants nothing to do with you, and that he’s not going to give you any money, so why don’t you go and get a fucking job, like the rest of us have to do; in order to feed your sad, pathetic addiction. Ok?” I said before slamming the door shut in her shocked, disbelieving face. I was furious. I walked into the living room to see a shocked Billy staring straight at me, wide eyed.
“Sorry.” I apologised sincerely apologetically, looking down at my bare feet, and becoming extremely interested in my tattoo, and the way it curved from the inside of my foot, to the top. Stars dotting the top of it, in curved lines. The guilt seemed to replace the anger I felt. I felt bad for blowing up on louse. She hadn’t really done anything that bad, except allow herself to become addicted to something she couldn’t shake, much like I had with alcohol. I also understood the length you’d go to in order to feed your addiction, even if it meant running back to your ex-husband for money. Your ex-rock star-husband. I felt the anger begin to consume me again, and I walked past Billy and into the kitchen.
I reached up and opened the cupboard revealing the bottle of Jack Daniels. I didn’t stop to think about it, but pulled the bottle down. I uncapped the bottle and brought it to my lips, savouring the strong warming taste. The sensation it caused as it ran down my throat. It instantly replaced my body and my head; and body screamed out for more. I hastily brought the bottle to my lips. It felt so good, and I remembered why I turned to drinking in the first place. It’s calming properties. My anger slowly subsided, before I heard a shriek, and the bottle was snatched away from me.
“What the fuck do you think your doing?” she shrieked, and I brought my eyes up to meet with hers. The anger and shock in them sent waves of guilt and regret crashing and flooding through my body at the realisation at what I had just done. I cursed myself under my breath.
“Sorry.” I apologised, meaning it 10000%. Billy sighed and I followed suit. Just when I thought I’d finally found myself some good, genuine friends, I’m let down again. Seriously. What have I done wrong to deserve all the shit I’ve been through? I cant think of anything as to fuel all of this hate directed at me in the past 20 odd years.
“C’mere.” Billy said quietly, pulling me towards her. I rested my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back soothingly. “They probably had a genuine reason for not telling you.” she reasoned, as she continued to rub my back.
“I’m so stupid. I should have realized. All of those signs.” I sighed, mentally kicking myself. No, that was an underestimate. It was more like mentally beating myself. Billy pulled away from me suddenly, and placed her hands on my shoulders.
“Don’t ever think that again. How was you to know who they were? It’s not exactly something which happens every day is it?” she told me sternly, looking me straight in the eyes. I sighed and diverted my gaze from hers. I really thought I’d found some good friends. Obviously not. It’s all been a lie.
She sighed and brushed some hair away from my face, before kissing my forehead and pulling me into another tight hug. She was getting all maternal over me again. Must be the hormones or something.
As we stood there, I thought over everything, and how I was going to handle this.
“Don’t tell Dylan.” I said suddenly, and pulling away from her. She narrowed her eyes at me in confusion, obviously waiting for me to continue. “You know how he’d react. Look how he reacted when he found out I had a boyfriend.” I said and her expression softened in realization, before she smiled at the memory of Dylan using his police officer friend, to check to see if my first and only boyfriend had a criminal record. I smiled at the memory, before sadness consumed me and my smile faded.
“Tell you what. I promise not to tell him, if you promise not to turn to that again.” she said, motioning to my left with her eyes. I followed her gaze and my eyes landed on the bottle of the whiskey. I nodded in agreement to the deal. That really was no path I wanted to back down again.
“So what are you going to do about it then? Are you going to talk to them when they come in?” she asked me, and I snapped my eyes back to hers.
“No im not going to do anything.” I said, and smiled at her blank expression.
“I'm gona act like normal and see when they were gona tell me…if they were ever going to tell me.” I said, and smiled at the smirk on her lips, before she shook her head.
“Sounds like a plan.” she smiled and nodded in confirmation.
“It is.”
Authors Note:
Sorry about the lack of updates guys. Guess what? I saw MCR live last night :D it was freaking amazing. You can find some of my videos from the concert on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuMb6DxopKw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUqZkadsTkc&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gL_cyYAVjs&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjTo6cMMDv4&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0CK2H1lh1Y
The boys are even better in person, and yes, Frank is a leetle guy. Leetle and very fuckin' sexy, mmmm. In other news, Ray has a broken foot, but played the entire show with a smile on his face.
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