Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Untitled, For Now
A/N - This chapter may not feel like it's going anywhere, but it's going to, I promise! Thanks to lolhai + FlyingSmoke for reviewing, and for the title suggestion, when I work out how to change it I will, thanks :)
Franks POV
I woke up in my bunk, and instantly my thoughts turned to the conversation me and Mikey had last night. I groaned and turned over. I'm so stupid. I didn't want to weigh Mikey down with my messed up mind. At least we were near the end of touring for The Black Parade, and I probably wouldn't have to face him for a long while. How did I expect him to react? Jump into my arms going "oh Frank, I love you too my DARLING"? That woulda been kinda nice... but it wasn't realistic. He was straight and I was his creepy best friend who couldn't cope without hurting himself. I didn't want to get up but I figured that if I didn't get up soon someone would send Bob in to tickle me out, and no-one wants that. Bob tickles hard.
In the kitchen-type-area I saw someone had toast on the table. Toast with chocolate spread. I stole it then sat on the sofa, and when I'd finished I looked up to face a mildly angry and slightly confused looking Gerard. I giggled and ran away before I got punished by the hungover and confused Gerard when he finally worked out what had gone on. Unfortunately I ran into Mikey, which was close to unbearable because he knew now, and I couldn't do anything about it. He flashed me one his sweet smiles, and I just looked to the floor. Somehow I couldn't face him right now.
I side-stepped back to the bunks, in search of my old friend. I looked behind me to make sure no-one had followed me, so no-one would see where I hid my blade. I fumbled under the mattress for a bit until I felt the cool metal. I turned around and almost fell into Mikey. I tried to hide the blade in my pocket but he grabbed my arm and dragged it out, still holding the blade. He looked at me with pain and hurt in his eyes and I couldn't bear it. I slumped onto whoevers bunk was below me, pulled my knees up to my chest and just cried. I felt his arms wrap around me shakily, and heard him whisper, "it's okay Frank, but why?" I sniffled and shook my head.
"I don't know Mikey. I... I feel like I've ruined our friendship and it's all my fault, I'm so sorry Mikey," I whispered. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"Frank, would you mind if I asked you to... to give me your blade? If not forever, just for the day. Please, I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're my best friend Frank, please?" he asked, eyes glossing over. I looked down at the hand that held my friend. I gave it a thought, then with shaking hands held it out. He took it cautiously and hugged me again.
"Frank, talk to me when you feel you can, and when you need to, please? I want you to still feel comfortable around me. Nothings changed Frank, at least not with me," he tried to reassure me.
"Sure Mikey," I smiled weakly at him, "but right now, something tells me that we'd better get off the bus before Bob comes and kicks our butts out..." We got up and exchanged sad smiles before getting off the bus and into the venue for a run-through of our set. It was second nature to me, so even distracted I managed to play like my normal self.
At the show that night I tried to play with the same energy as normal, but Ray and Mikey kept shooting me worried looks. I shrugged them off and tried to get into 'I'm Not Okay', since it was the last song of the night. By the end I was exhausted and gave the guys some half-hearted excuse as to why I was going straight to the bus and not signing. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
When they guys came back I woke slightly so my eyes were closed but I could hear. From what I could make out Mikey and Ray were discussing why I was acting a bit off today, as apparently it was noticeable. Bob was trying to convince Gerard to join him in a game on the Xbox since the other two were too deep in discussion. I fell asleep, thinking it was the best was to block out any other worries I could have.
Mikeys POV
I was glad for that talk with Ray earlier. It made me glad that I wasn't the only one concerned with out guitarists wellbeing. The day after Franks strange stage presence was thankfully our last show for a couple of months. We were going to have to travel in the bus for a couple of days still, since we were really far from Jersey, so we decided after the show that we were going to stop at hotels every night just for comfort.
I woke up to a strangely silent bus. I guess everyone was asleep although Franks curtain was open and he wasn't in his bunk. I had made a decision last night before I went to sleep, and I needed to ask him how he felt about it. I slid out my bunk and walked to the lounge, stretching as I went. He was sitting like a statue on the couch, he looked ahead and he seemed really peaceful. I didn't want to disturb him now, so I quietly turned around to go back to the bunks when I heard him almost croak, "Stay, Mikey. Please." I turned back around and sat on the table in front of him. No-one would be up for a while so I could put my proposition to him now. If he wasn't already upset.
"Frank, are you okay? I know I didn't give you back your blade, do you feel you need it? Please, let's just talk it out, if that's it." He looked me dead in the eyes, with his soft, serene expression. I think I could fall for him. I mean, all the guys know I'm bi, even if it's only a little. Frank is really attractive, and he has such a great personality, full of energy and care. I suppose I've just never looked at him that way before.
"That's, that's not it Mikes. I promise. I... I just wanted t-to tell you that I'm s-s-sorry," he stuttered, "for worrying you guys yesterday. I don't want to worry you now though, so, yeah. I'm fine, I swear." He smiled at me. I think he's actually alright, I can see the old spark in his eyes. I've missed that spark.
"I'm glad you're fine Frankie," I smiled broadly at him, hugging him tightly. We pulled apart but I held onto his arms and looked at him with a seriousness that probably let him know I was up to something. I leaned closer to him, his beauty only just registering in my brain. It was strange, falling for someone I've known so well for so long. He looked panicked so I pulled away, blushing. It was my turn to apologise. I shouldn't push this so quickly.
Franks POV
I woke up in my bunk, and instantly my thoughts turned to the conversation me and Mikey had last night. I groaned and turned over. I'm so stupid. I didn't want to weigh Mikey down with my messed up mind. At least we were near the end of touring for The Black Parade, and I probably wouldn't have to face him for a long while. How did I expect him to react? Jump into my arms going "oh Frank, I love you too my DARLING"? That woulda been kinda nice... but it wasn't realistic. He was straight and I was his creepy best friend who couldn't cope without hurting himself. I didn't want to get up but I figured that if I didn't get up soon someone would send Bob in to tickle me out, and no-one wants that. Bob tickles hard.
In the kitchen-type-area I saw someone had toast on the table. Toast with chocolate spread. I stole it then sat on the sofa, and when I'd finished I looked up to face a mildly angry and slightly confused looking Gerard. I giggled and ran away before I got punished by the hungover and confused Gerard when he finally worked out what had gone on. Unfortunately I ran into Mikey, which was close to unbearable because he knew now, and I couldn't do anything about it. He flashed me one his sweet smiles, and I just looked to the floor. Somehow I couldn't face him right now.
I side-stepped back to the bunks, in search of my old friend. I looked behind me to make sure no-one had followed me, so no-one would see where I hid my blade. I fumbled under the mattress for a bit until I felt the cool metal. I turned around and almost fell into Mikey. I tried to hide the blade in my pocket but he grabbed my arm and dragged it out, still holding the blade. He looked at me with pain and hurt in his eyes and I couldn't bear it. I slumped onto whoevers bunk was below me, pulled my knees up to my chest and just cried. I felt his arms wrap around me shakily, and heard him whisper, "it's okay Frank, but why?" I sniffled and shook my head.
"I don't know Mikey. I... I feel like I've ruined our friendship and it's all my fault, I'm so sorry Mikey," I whispered. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.
"Frank, would you mind if I asked you to... to give me your blade? If not forever, just for the day. Please, I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're my best friend Frank, please?" he asked, eyes glossing over. I looked down at the hand that held my friend. I gave it a thought, then with shaking hands held it out. He took it cautiously and hugged me again.
"Frank, talk to me when you feel you can, and when you need to, please? I want you to still feel comfortable around me. Nothings changed Frank, at least not with me," he tried to reassure me.
"Sure Mikey," I smiled weakly at him, "but right now, something tells me that we'd better get off the bus before Bob comes and kicks our butts out..." We got up and exchanged sad smiles before getting off the bus and into the venue for a run-through of our set. It was second nature to me, so even distracted I managed to play like my normal self.
At the show that night I tried to play with the same energy as normal, but Ray and Mikey kept shooting me worried looks. I shrugged them off and tried to get into 'I'm Not Okay', since it was the last song of the night. By the end I was exhausted and gave the guys some half-hearted excuse as to why I was going straight to the bus and not signing. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
When they guys came back I woke slightly so my eyes were closed but I could hear. From what I could make out Mikey and Ray were discussing why I was acting a bit off today, as apparently it was noticeable. Bob was trying to convince Gerard to join him in a game on the Xbox since the other two were too deep in discussion. I fell asleep, thinking it was the best was to block out any other worries I could have.
Mikeys POV
I was glad for that talk with Ray earlier. It made me glad that I wasn't the only one concerned with out guitarists wellbeing. The day after Franks strange stage presence was thankfully our last show for a couple of months. We were going to have to travel in the bus for a couple of days still, since we were really far from Jersey, so we decided after the show that we were going to stop at hotels every night just for comfort.
I woke up to a strangely silent bus. I guess everyone was asleep although Franks curtain was open and he wasn't in his bunk. I had made a decision last night before I went to sleep, and I needed to ask him how he felt about it. I slid out my bunk and walked to the lounge, stretching as I went. He was sitting like a statue on the couch, he looked ahead and he seemed really peaceful. I didn't want to disturb him now, so I quietly turned around to go back to the bunks when I heard him almost croak, "Stay, Mikey. Please." I turned back around and sat on the table in front of him. No-one would be up for a while so I could put my proposition to him now. If he wasn't already upset.
"Frank, are you okay? I know I didn't give you back your blade, do you feel you need it? Please, let's just talk it out, if that's it." He looked me dead in the eyes, with his soft, serene expression. I think I could fall for him. I mean, all the guys know I'm bi, even if it's only a little. Frank is really attractive, and he has such a great personality, full of energy and care. I suppose I've just never looked at him that way before.
"That's, that's not it Mikes. I promise. I... I just wanted t-to tell you that I'm s-s-sorry," he stuttered, "for worrying you guys yesterday. I don't want to worry you now though, so, yeah. I'm fine, I swear." He smiled at me. I think he's actually alright, I can see the old spark in his eyes. I've missed that spark.
"I'm glad you're fine Frankie," I smiled broadly at him, hugging him tightly. We pulled apart but I held onto his arms and looked at him with a seriousness that probably let him know I was up to something. I leaned closer to him, his beauty only just registering in my brain. It was strange, falling for someone I've known so well for so long. He looked panicked so I pulled away, blushing. It was my turn to apologise. I shouldn't push this so quickly.
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