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• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Wonderbee31 2011-04-27

  Wonderful chapter, and great to see the underhanded Snape finally get unhanded, though shows even more about Albus, as he's perfectly willing to let things go when they're not useful anymore. Can't wait to see the greasy gits final punishment, maybe with heaping gobs of "Henry the 8th I am" with it LOL. On a more serious note, I don't know what the final plan is for Ron, but right now, he's acting like some of the kids that would come onto base after bootcamp, with the needed skills to go out and fight, but not the wisdom about it at all, and I have to wonder if he's going to kill someone, either accidentally or in a fit of rage. Was glad to see it laid out to Harry there, that even as he is his first friend, there's too much at stake for this to just waltz around here. so I definitely look forward to the next episode.

  Author's response

  Heya Wonderbee!
  
  Snape is long overdue for some serious ass-whuppin' He's been allowed to get away with whatever he does for so long he's failed to realize that there are consequences for his actions. Despite Rowling's last minute babbling, Snape is neither brave nor a hero. He was a bigot, a bully, a coward, and most likely a spy for Voldemort.
  
  I've made his punishment actually an appropriate one. with no arms, he has no way to defend himself, no way to do what he loves and no way to wipe his ass. He's no longer the big man, but the lowest one on the scrotum pole.
  
  I was thinking infinite repetitions of Barney's song 'I love you, you love me!'
  
  Ron: Precisely. This Ron is a better person than in canon (or fanon, for that matter) but he's still arrogant and prideful. If he were allowed on this mission he might well develop the attitudes Anakin had, and that would be an unmitigated disaster...because if he fell t the dark side, Harry would have to deal with him.
  
  Unfortunately friendship has no place in combat. Harry needed the best he had and Ron, while qualified, was barely that. Harry knew it, but like most young commanders, saw Ron his friend, first, and a soldier, second. Mack just grabbed him by the scruff, shook him a couple times, and made him understand that.
  
  Until nest week...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) aredphxbird2 2011-04-27

  Good chapter,I love the way thet took care Snape almost as good as Umbridge's arrest.I think someone was leaking information to have Pius Thickness ready for his arrest.Lastly,I cant wait to see what happens to Albus Dumbledore when he meets Harry eventhough he messed up the oath on purpose making it null and void.Keep up the good work.

  Author's response

  Hello, aredphxbird
  
  Thanks. Snape deserved some eternal torment and I figure this is a good way to start.
  
  Umbrage I'm not quite done with the toad-woman. She'll make one more appearance.
  
  Pus. Can you say. 'Par-a-noid'? He may have gotten a warning through his mark or he might just have gotten lucky. It does happen.
  
  Dumbledore messed up the oath because he never intended to comply in the first place. Remember,he's a politician. The lowest, most dishonest form of criminal life on Earth. Don't worry, though. Precautions have already been taken to keep him under control.
  
  Thanks,
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) tammin 2011-04-27

  I love this story. I like how you have threaded everything together and I look forward to reading the rest of this story. The research you have done on the construction of the lightsabers, the forms and katas, mixing technology and magic believably, and following character development is golden. You have even made the M.O.B. a believable bad guy.
  
  Thank you.

  Author's response

  Thank you, tammin,
  
  It was over a year of hard work, and a lot of research. I believe strongly in details. A few of my reviewers had noticed details I've missed, but that's what makes this fun.
  
  I also believe in character development. It prevents disasters like HBP and DH.
  
  
  Some think I went too far with Dumbledore , but I've read worse portrayals. Here, I believe I've kept him within his canon personality, if only just.
  
  Thanks for the review.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) pfeil 2011-04-27

  Is ‘The Discerning Hedonist' something you've read, or just made up? ;)

  Author's response

  It was one of Harry's two birthday gifts from Tonks and Remus:
  ‘Sexual Positions for the Discerning Hedonist, by Anton Y. Zaffuto.
  
  The book really exists. The real title is: The Complete Guide to Sexual Positions, by Anthony A. Zaffuto, Ph.D.
  
  I just tweaked the title and author's name to make it more 'wizardy'.
  
  You can find it on-line.
  
  Grins.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) harrysfriend 2011-04-28

  I know at this point it is too late and I honestly love your story. What I cant understand is why it is so important to marginalize Ron to the extent that you are. He is a young man that in canon was tactless and at times jealous but you've weaved him into a person who has no character. Everytime you hint at growth for him you seem to go out of your way to make him shallow again. It seems unnecessarily cruel since no other character is made to look like that. I hope you dont consider this a flame because I really like your story.

  Author's response

  Hello, harrysfriend,
  
  While I don't hate Ron, I dislike his character. In canon, he is rude, brash, lazy, quick to anger and prone to selfishness and jealousy. Every one of his brothers has made a name for himself, by focusing and studying hard, (yes, even Percy)but while Ron, in canon, moans about them all being better than he is, he never does anything to improve himself. He appears to live for food, and Quidditch and lttle else.
  
  Throughout canon, he has been focused on himself, often to the detriment of those around him. Particularly Harry and Hermione.
  
  While Rowling says he is a loyal friend, he is anything but. His relationships with those around him seem to be on an 'as convenient' basis.
  
  I truly had not intended to 'marginalize' Ron, though as this is a H/Hr fic, he is a character of less import. Here, I've tried to keep him as true to his canon personality as possible, given the new circumstances, though I've made him not so...overt. He is still the brash, tactless, arrogant person he was in canon, but a little more mature. He accepts Harry's relationship with Hermione, and is truly intent on helping to destroy the forces of darkness, but as I've pointed out several times along, he's doing it for his own ego. He wants the attention that comes with being one of the people who eliminate the scourge of the wizarding world. That is canon.
  
  He will, however, be earning his Order of Merlin, first class.
  
  Don't worry. I don't consider this a flame, and I'm glad you are enjoying the ride. You're probably not gonna like the next chapter.
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Richardc269 2011-04-29

  That's because Ron was an idiot in canon, and held Harry back because Harry was also a moron when it came to his 2 friends. He was actually smart and cunning before he started at Hogwarts. Then he met Hagrid, Ron/Hermione and Draco. Draco came off as a bully to Harry, Hagrid and Ron brainwashed him into thinking that Slyth=bad, Gryf=good. Harry became an idiot as soon as he met Hagrid.
  
  Ron officially betrayed Harry twice. Once in 4th year, and then the second time in summer just before 5th year started. That's not a real friend, that's an idiot who's really just as bigoted and stupid as Draco is. In all honesty, Harry should have just left Hogwarts in the first place, and went to another school instead, and really should have tried finding another school when 1st year ended; but his stupidity cost him that one.
  
  I'm not usually a Hermione fan either, I generally hate(d) her character in Canon and in Fanon, because she's just as ignorant as Draco/Ron is, thinking she's better than everyone else just because she's basically a fountain of information. I read Book 6 (but am NOT touching Book 7, Book 6 was bad enough), and I absolutely loathed her character in Book 6 because she was being a total fucking retard when it came to Harry and Draco. It was as if her brain was leaking out of her rear-end and running down her leg. However, in your story, her character is a little different, and I'm glad for that.
  
  Usually if I see a story with the Harry/Hermione pairing, I on average won't even touch the story because I just can't stand her character, and I don't think Hermione/Harry pairing would even work in a Canon-based story. Hermione is basically just too bossy, and Harry's not really into that.
  
  Anyway, I'm loving the story so far, and I can't wait to read the rest of it. I hope you update soon! (btw, my birthday's on the 4th (Wednesday), I'll be 28 :D)

  Author's response

  Heya Richard.
  
  I disagree. IMO, Harry's descent into brainlessness began when he met Ron, not Hagrid. A prime reason is his desperately wanting to keep his very first friend. At first, he was smart, cunning loyal and brave.
  
  Until Ron 'dumbed him down'.
  
  
  Again, IMO, Harry was specifically meant to meet Ron. How else could a woman, who'd attended Hogwarts, whose husband had attended, who had six of seven children either having attended or were currently attending, not know where the platform was? What's more, why was she violating the international statute of secrecy by hollering about muggles. (For that matter, why are magicals required to pass through the muggle side in the first place? That makes no sense at all!)
  
  You're right though, Ron's black/white mindset is part of what made Harry despise the Slytherins. Draco, didn't help any, because he reminded Harry of his worst favorite person...Dudley. Hus lack of initiative is also what convinced Harry to 'get stupid'. (See above)
  
  
  It was more than once. In two, he distances himself from Harry, being as Parselmouths are 'dark' until Gred and Forge play it off.
  
  In three, his constant accusations against Hermione had the unfortunate effect of drawing Harry into the middle. Once again, Harry wants to keep his first friend, and unfortunately he met Ron first. Hagrid told him off for placing a broomstick above his friendship. (I wonder if Dumbledore told him to do that?) this wasn't a betrayal of Harry, Per se, but it was a betrayal.
  
  Even after Scabbers turned out to be alive, he refused to apologize to Hermione. His only redeeming point in that book was when he stood up and told Black that to kill Harry he'd have to kill him as well. this was the second and last time, Ron put himself in danger for Harry.
  
  In four, was the big blow-up. Harry told Ron that he had no intention of entering the competition, Ron knew that Harry had faced death each year at least once, and yet, when Harry's name came out of the goblet, he automatically believed that Harry had gone behind his black...Perhaps, because that's what he would have done?
  
  As soon as Harry was the hero again, he gave hm a half-assed apology and then everything was cookies and creme...until he went off on Hermione for daring to date someone who wasn't him.
  
  I can't say his failure during the summer of Harry's fifth year as a betrayal, as he was under orders from A) the headmaster of his school, who had control over his education, and B) his parents were beholden to Dumbledore, meaning he had control of them too. Even in canon, the evidence in every book points to 'Dumbleference' .
  
  In sixth year, Ron basically ignored everyone, in favor of tickling Lav-Lav(Gawd!)'s tonsils. Can't really fault him there. But his desertion in book seven is to me, unforgivable. He left them because he was more interested in a soft bed and a full belly than in eliminating a madman who intended to conquer the world! That pissed me off. Were I Hermione, I'd have done far more than slap the dogshit out of him!
  
  Other schools: Unfortunately, with the exception of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons, all the other schools are fanon. You are correct though had any other school been available, Harry should have opted to go there. I'm assuming as do many other FF authors, that Dumbledore had something to do with Harry's not getting invites to any of them.(Really! What faculty wouldn't want a celebrity like Harry Potter at their school?) If nothing else, there would have been tons of fan mail for the BWL.
  
  Hermione: I like Hermione. While she is bossy and rather full of herself, she is also caring and helpful. She has a fixation on authority figures that cannot be healthy, but I've seen people with the same thing, turn out to be relatively well adjusted. It just takes a shock to the system. Hermione got that shock in book five, I believe.
  
  
  Book six: Yes, her brains did dribble out her ears. In fact, with my background in narcotics investigation, the first thing I suspected was the use of freelance pharmaceuticals. Especially given the attention the author paid them in that pile of...typing. This is why i believe Rowling paid some thirteen year old FF writer a hundred quid to write both, while she went on tour.
  
  Book seven. It is actually, marginally better than six. If taken on it's own, it is an 'acceptable' adventure story. (It's also, due to the literary disaster called HBP, the only one of her books that dis not make any money.)
  
  In Jedi, I based Hermione off my late wife. She was intelligent and feisty, and willing to fight for what she believed in. She was also caring and loving...and often kinky as hell.
  
  Book seven's Hermione is a lot like that(except the kink.) Had JKR not decided at the first to pair Harry with Ginny-Sue, Book Seven would have been the perfect way for Harry and Hermione to get together.
  
  You might want to give it a read, but mentally change the names of the characters.
  
  I like H/Hr, partly because of all the characters, she is the best matched to him. They actually support and temper each other. In fact, until Book Sux, Hermione had been by his side, through everything except when she absolutely couldn't. (Dumbledore's orders)
  
  She's also the only one of the female leads who is developed.
  
  Luna is another of my favorite ships, and for other reasons, so is Tonks.
  
  Ginny is a fan-girl, and very nearly a Mary-Sue, and unfortunately, none of the other characters are developed enough to use. Hermione has problems...a lot of them, but then, so does Harry.
  
  Had Rowling paid more attention to the abuse to which he was subject, (Again, both experience and training) the story would have been much different.
  
  IMO(3) Hermione's bossiness, her need to show her intelligence, and her appalling trust in authority figures indicates to me she is overcompensating for childhood neglect, but that's just my opinion.
  
  My advise (worth exactly what you paid for it), is don't discount the Harmony ship because of canon. That's what makes Fanon so interesting. There are so many excellent authors in the world and Harmony is a favorite ship.
  
  
  I'll be updating the next chapter, this weekend. Happy birthday. Mine is in January. I'll be fifty. '@o@'
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) Richardc269 2011-04-29

  I thought it was Hagrid because he said that there was never a "good Slytherin", and Ron's all pro-Gryffindor, and he was also spouting out that Slytherin's were bad, too.
  
  Yes, Draco reminded him a lot of Dudley, so he subconsciously chose the Gryffindor house because he didn't want to be in the same house as another bully; it would be like living in his Aunt & Uncles again.
  
  A story you might like (or maybe already read), is called "Canon Derailed", it's on FanFicAuthors.net, and you can search for it with Google, or go to Fanficauthors.net and go to Bobmin's website. It's a story about Harry that thinks Dumbledore is "evil" and goes to a school in the US instead, effectively "derailing" canon.
  
  Yes, Ginny is purely a fan-girl. She's basically also a Mary-Sue, and also a slut, because you really don't see the other females dating any males besides Ginny and Ron, but Ginny's been through a lot of boyfriends. Also note, that when Harry "fancied" Cho Chang, he didn't get that "monster in the chest" feeling when he saw her dating that other male, unlike when he saw Ginny dating what's his name and kissing him, he had that "monster in the chest" feeling. I honestly think the stupid broad gave him something to like her.
  
  As for Ron in the summer before 5th year, yes, I would consider that a betrayal because he's putting an authority figure above his supposedly "best mate". If the headmaster asked me to stop writing my friend, or some shit, I'd tell him to go piss himself. But Ron didn't do that, he decided the headmaster of a school was more important than the feelings of his supposedly "best mate". That in itself is a berayal, in my opinion. Hermione did the same thing. Very not cool, on either of their parts. Hermione only did it once, the same year as Ron his "second" time by not really writing him all that much. Those aren't qualities of friends I'd want.

  Author's response

  Hey again, Richard.
  
  Yes, Hagrid did say somethng like 'Ain't a witch or wizard who went bad, wwasn't n Slytherin. Unfortunately, Hagrid was screwed over by Riddle...a Slytherin, and he is not only beholden to but almost worships Dumbledore who is definitely anti-Slytherin.
  
  Even so, it wasn't until Harry got on the train that he made his decision. Ron, had introduced himself (and immediately glomped onto his candy), when the ferret showed up. Draco had made a poor first impression in Diagon Alley, and immediately insulted Ron.../Harry's first friend/, and so, Harry instinctively jumped to defend him.
  
  I read Canon Derailed. It was funny as all hell. Bobmin is one of my favorite writing teams.
  
  Mary-Sue, yes...definitely. Slut? That word is highly overused. In three years she's had three boyfriends. There is nothing in canon to indicate she did anything other than some snogging. My daughter has had more boyfriends in the same three years and yet, she is still a virgin, and highly discerning as to whom she lets close.
  
  Monster in chest: Like i said before, the only way to explain that is freelance pharmaceuticals. It's also possible that Ginny is a patsy. She's been raised from birth to be Mrs. Harry Potter. By whom? Molly. Under the instructions of whom? Most likely, Dumbledore. If anyone made, or gave potions, I'd have to suspect it was Molly trying to insure her One-Big-Happy-Weasley-Family...
  
  Before she died, my sister FireLemming, did a cartoon where Harry was complaining about the monster in his chest. Hermione looks down suggestively and says: Harry, that's not your chest."
  
  If I can find it, I'll post it on Kinsfire's site.
  
  
  Pre-5th year Ron: OK, I can see that.
  
  ~If the headmaster asked me to stop writing my friend, or some shit, I'd tell him to go piss himself.~
  
  How about if that same headmaster was the de-facto ruler of the country? One who could easily put his father out of work, impound his home and ensure that neither he nor his siblings never attend school again? That's just a supposition, but it is well within Dumbledore's stated positions of authority and his canon personality.
  
  He's as unforgiving of dissension as Riddle is.
  
  Hermione: Should and could have remembered the muggle post. She was raised muggle. Again, that was a part of her absolute trust in Authority figures.
  
  Anyway...
  
  Until next time...
  
  Alorkin

• JEDI POTTER

  (#) MrNightflame 2011-05-04

  Interesting timing on this update. Osama bin Laden and Voldemort both going down on the same day. OK not the same day, but the updated day...

  Author's response

  Purely co-inky-dink.
  
  Alorkin

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