Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Worst of both worlds
“ Mikey, Bob, Ray? We’re home!” I shouted as I thundered down the stairs to my basement, Frank holding my hand and following close behind in my wake.
“Hey Gee. You’ve been gone a long time, what were you doing?” Mikey asked and raised an eyebrow, slouched on my bed with Bob and Ray.
“Yeah, we had a run in with creeper boy.” Frank said and threw himself on the bed that I had just flopped down on.
“Who’s creeper boy?” Ray asked, the three boys looking suddenly more interested.
“Oh just the lovely man who tried to rape Gerard tonight.” Frank said cooly and they all gawped, eyes wide and jaws dropped and slackened.
“What- are- he – you…are you okay?” Bob gabbled and I chuckled.
“Seriously, we’re both fine…he’s not though.” I laughed darkly and Mikey once more looked like a scared child.
“What happened?” Mikey whispered and I propped myself up on my elbows.
“Not a lot, just left him there to die. He deserved it.” I mumbled, shuffling to lean on Frank’s chest as he slumped against my wall.
“What did you do to him?” Ray breathed and I let my eyes slide shut, allowing a small smile to play around my lips.
“I didn’t do anything. The coke and alcohol did though. He was so clearly overdosed as he tried to rape that other girl. I grabbed him, told him what I thought of him as she ran off and then the effects of the overdose started working properly and I left him there. Then we came home.” I said sleepily and yawned, snuggling further into Frank’s touch as he wrapped his arms round my waist.
“Oh dear God.” Ray gasped and I shrugged.
“Can I sleep down here tonight Gee?” Mikey whimpered and I cracked my eye open to look at him- deeply moved at his anxious expression. He was no longer the confident, slightly nerdy, strong eighteen year old, he was the six year old brother who was scared when my parents fought. I knew that look and I couldn’t deny him. He needed his big brother. He needed me.
“Of course you can Mikes, you know you don’t have to ask.” I said and he let out a sigh of relief no one knew he was holding.
“Thanks Gee.” He said and smiled shakily- I could tell our sad excuse for a father had really shaken him up.
“Come here.” I said and opened my arms up for him, still not moving from Frank’s gentle grip as my brother hugged me tightly, lying between my legs as Frank let out a small huff at the weight of me and my brother piling on him all at once. Mikey pulled away after a minute and smiled at me as Frank played absent minded with the ebony black strands of my hair.
“You two are staying down here as well.” I said sternly, pointing a finger at Ray and Bob.
“Where are we going to sleep, the floor?” Bob asked, raising an eyebrow and I smirked.
“Nope. Where do you think? All in the bed together of course.” I said and Ray laughed nervously.
“Are you serious?” Ray asked shakily and I nodded.
“Man, we’re like twenty!” Ray gasped and I nodded, shrugging slightly.
“So. I want you all in my bed.” I said and Ray burst out laughing.
“Never say that again!” Ray chuckled, “Especially not to your brother.” He said and I laughed, realising how bad that must have sounded.
“Fwankie’s tired. He wants to sleep.” Frankie mumbled and I giggled slightly.
“Turn the TV and the light off Mikey, please?” He got up off the bed, turning the light out and then the TV as he walked back to bed. Frank lay against the wall, hugging me from behind, I had Mikey curled up against my chest and Ray and Bob were curled around each other as we started giggling.
“I have no idea what your Mom is going to think when she finds us in the morning!” Bob laughed.
“She won’t care.” Mikey giggled sleepily. I closed my eyes and let my dreams take me, and for once, they weren’t nightmares. They were dreams of what seemed to be my future, I was standing on a stage, screaming out to the thousands of teenagers that were moshing in front of me. I turned around to see Bob thrashing on his drum kit, Mikey timidly playing a blue sparkly bass, Ray shredding on guitar to my left and Frankie jumping around like a hyper freak and slamming on his white Stratocaster. I belted out the last few screams of a misfits song, shouted my thanks to the audience and ran off stage, hand in hand with Frankie as we sweated from the heat of the stage lights.
My dreams dissolved after a while and left me feeling the glorious numbness of a deep sleep I haven’t experienced in so long. There was no struggle to get to sleep, no bad dreams, just deep sleep. It’s almost as if my insomnia is cured.
~
“Morning boys! Sleep well?” I heard my mothers voice call and I groaned, burying my head into Frankie’s t shirt and gripping tighter onto him.
“Pancakes for breakfast?” My mom asked, still uncaring to the fact that none of us wanted to move. I lifted myself up and blinked, yawning and stretching in the cramped bed.
“Hey Mom.” I yawned again and slumped on the pillows.
“What happened to you Gerard?” My mother gasped and I looked down. My shirt was revealing my bruised collar bones and my knuckles were split and swollen, I felt so sore.
“Hmm, nothing Mom.” I said and poked Mikey to wake him up.
“Do you expect me to believe that when you are all piled into bed together as well? You only do that when bad things happen, and even then that’s just with Mikey, but Bob and Ray as well?” She asked confused. I felt Frank stir beside me and he sat up, still not noticing my mother as he hugged my side and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“Morning sugar, you sleep well?” He asked, yawning and finally opening his eye to see my mother standing at the foot of the bed with her hand on her hip and raised eyebrows.
“Care to explain anybody?” My mom asked, also eyeing the lacy bras that lay in a pile on the floor by my wardrobe. Bob sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Frank and Gee went bra shopping. Frank brought Gee hot clothes. We went to party. Gerard got taken off by man. Man tried to rape Gee. Man beat Gee up when he removed Gee’s boxers. Came home. Mikes Dad broke in. Gerard beat the living hell out of him. Police took him away. Gerard and Frank went for a run at about four am because Frank’s energy was high. Met up with rapist who was trying to rape another girl. Rapist had overdosed on cocaine. Gee told him what he thought of him, girl ran off and they left the man there to die. Happy?” Bob said as he flopped back down into the pillows.
“WHAT?!” My mother screamed and I laughed lightly.
“That’s pretty much the long and short of it, yes.” I explained and Mom eyed Frankie suspiciously as he rested his head on my shoulder and laced his fingers through mine, still not quite awake yet.
“Are you and Frankie…together?” My Mom asked carefully as she gestured to the two of us.
“I think it’s safe to say that, isn’t it babe?” Frankie asked and I smiled.
“Sure is.” I confirmed and he gave me a quick peck on the lips.
“Well, I’m happy for you. I’m sorry you went through so much, you should have called me.” My mom said and I shook my head.
“It’s okay, we dealt with it. Anyway, with the speed things happened none of us could have had the time or co-ordination to use a phone properly and explain, Bob should have kept his mouth shut then you wouldn’t have to worry.” I said and scowled at Bob, throwing a pillow at him which actually just hit Ray.
“I do wish you wouldn’t hide things to protect me Gerard.” My mom sighed.
“I’m sorry, ma. Sometimes it’s just for the best.” I smiled at her and she nodded.
“Pancakes and coffee, okay boys?” My mom asked.
“With maple syrup?” Ray asked.
“And blue berries!” Bob shouted excitedly.
“And that pink sugar stuff?” Mikey asked and my Mom chuckled.
“It’s a good job I know my boys.” She laughed.
“Hmm, you certainly do Mom.” Ray said and Frankie looked a bit taken aback.
“Mom?” He asked, frowning slightly (which is so cute!).
“Yup, your all my boys whether you like it or not.” She laughed, her Scottish accent really shining through as it always does in the morning. Maybe that’s why I’m pale? If my mothers Scottish maybe it was from her side? She’s still pretty tanned though.
“Wow.” Frankie murmured as my Mom went up the basement steps, her blonde hair bouncing down her shoulders and cascading to her lower back.
“Come on, get your fat butts out of bed or me and Frank can’t move.” I said and Mikey, Bob and Ray pouted.
“No.” Mikey said so I turned and kissed Frankie passionately, working my mouth harshly against his.
“Okay! Okay, stop it with the kissing, we’re moving.” Ray said and the three piled out of the covers, finding their clothes from yesterday and throwing them on, not really caring what they looked like. Mikey and Bob’s hair is too short to really worry about that much, and Ray’s fro always looks the same no matter what he does or doesn’t do with it.
I squeezed Frank’s hand and got out of the bed, picking up some clothes and walking into my bathroom. I ran a comb through my mane of shaggy black hair and smudged some black liner across the lash line of my lower lids. I raked the tooth brush over my small teeth and looked in the mirror, for once, I don’t completely hate what I saw. It still isn’t perfect and I’m certainly no where near beautiful, but it will do. I shoved my legs into my red skinny jeans and threw on a tight the misfits shirt, looking once more into the mirror and grinning before walking out of the bathroom.
I walked up stairs to find everyone crowding round the kitchen table, talking about recent events as Frankie stared into his mug of black coffee, looking lost and alone. I slipped into the seat beside him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, making him smile weakly at me. Something was up.
“Hey Frankie, what’s wrong?” I whispered, I could tell he didn’t want to be the centre of attention.
“It’s nothing, Gee, don’t worry about me.” He gave me a fake smile and continued to stare at his coffee.
“Frankie, please tell me what it is. I can help.” I pleaded and his big brown eyes locked onto mine.
“I’ve never…had this before.” He muttered, gesturing to the people around us.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Mikey. He was the first person to ever care about me, to ever notice me and not just use me as some punch bag to take out his rage on. He actually talked to me and respected me, he didn’t talk at me and always put me down. Then there’s this, you have awesome friends who I can tell you’ve known for a fair few years and they just accept everything about you. Your Mom as well, I’ve never really had a real Mom, my Mom just used to beat me, tell me I’m wrong and useless. Then when the holidays were over she’d send me to a horrid Catholic boarding school and I’d get beaten by the kids and the teachers there as well. I guess this just feels strange. I’ve gone my whole life not knowing what a real family is, never wanting to have kids because I thought you were meant to treat them the way my parents treated me, I didn’t want to have to do that to a poor defenceless child.” Frank whimpered, letting a few tears slip down his cheeks. I pulled him onto my lap and hugged him close against me, his face buried in my neck.
“It’s okay Frankie, it really is. No one’s going to hurt you any more, I won’t let that happen. Nothing bad is going to happen to you anymore.” I promised, and I meant it with all my heart. I noticed everyone’s gaze was upon us now, but I really didn’t care.
“I love you Gee, so much it hurts.” He whimpered and I kissed his hair.
“I love you too, baby, with all my heart and soul.” I whispered and he looked up, resting his forehead against mine and smiling.
“You’re the only thing I have left to fight for. You and Mikey, and Bob and Ray now too.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Without you, I wouldn’t be alive.” His voice was clear and oozing with conviction, as much as the words hurt, I knew it was true. This beautiful boy would have destroyed himself by now and have been forgotten if my baby brother hadn’t befriended him.
“It’s alright, Frankie. We’re not going anywhere and neither are you. I’ll never let you feel alone again, I promise.” I whispered and brushed my lips so softly against his, treating them like the easily bruised and damaged petals on a blood red rose.
“Um, would now be an okay time to mention that the pancakes are going to go cold?” Mikey asked, some what nervously and me and Frank burst into fits of giggles as he slid off my lap to sit back in his chair.
“Well, that’s that atmosphere lightened.” I laughed and Mom shovelled piles on pancakes, a forest’s worth of blue berries and a lake full of maple syrup onto our plates, dusting everything over with the pink sugar that Mikey used to have on everything. I mean everything too, once he even put it on Sunday dinner.
“So, Frankie, how long are you staying for?” Bob asked through a mouthful of pancake.
“Um, another two weeks and then I have to go back home.” Frankie answered, trying (and failing) to sound a little bit upbeat at the prospect.
“Cool, do you live anywhere round here?” Ray asked and Frank swallowed another mouth full of pancakes.
“No, actually. I live full time in the apartment me and Mikey have for college and then when it comes to Christmas and I finish my course, I’m kicked out of there too.” He muttered, looking down.
“So you’ll go back to your parents then?” My Mom asked and I shot her a glance. Was it only me and Mikey that new of his home situation?
“Um, no.” He almost whispered and my Mom looked confused.
“Are you getting a place of your own then? I wouldn’t have thought you’d have enough money to afford a new apartment?” My Mom asked, me wanting to whack her around the back of the head with a cry of ‘WASP’ for being such an idiot. I couldn’t though, it wouldn’t be fair anyway, she doesn’t know.
“I don’t… I’ll just be on the streets again.” He murmured and even I was taken aback.
“Again?!” I asked, shocked and he nodded.
“My parents kicked me out the first time when I was twelve because I refused to go to church or have anything to do with being a Catholic. I went back after six months. Second time when I was fourteen and rumours were going round town that I was gay. I got taken back by the police when I was fifteen and managed to convince my parents that I was straight. Then I don’t think I’ve had anything other than a rough night or two up until I got the college placement and told my parents I was bisexual, then they lost it for good. They won’t even acknowledge my existence anymore.” Frank said, treating it like it was nothing.
“Man, that’s awful. Why didn’t you tell us?” Mikey asked.
“I was sort of scared about how you’d react. I mean, it’s a miracle you want to know me any way, with my home situation so messed up. I didn’t want you to think of me as a scavenging homeless weirdo as well.” He said, looking my brother dead in the eye, I could see Mikey looking un nerved as something showed in Frank’s eyes that was fairly scary.
“We would never think that of you.” My Mom said and the corners of Frank’s mouth twitched into a smile.
“Thank you, that means a lot, Donna.” Frankie said, smiling.
“Please call me Mom, especially seeing as you’ll be moving in with us.” Mom said and I tried not to spit out my coffee.
“What?” He whispered. Yeah, my sentiments exactly.
“I want you to move in with me, Gerard and Mikey. If you want to, of course?” She asked and Frankie breathed in deep, nodding slowly.
“I- do- what- do you mean it, Mom?” I asked, still quite shocked that she’d just asked my boyfriend to move in with me.
“Of course I do. I haven’t seen you this happy in forever, I wouldn’t want that to be pulled out from under your feet. Bad things happen on the streets, especially in New Jersey.” My Mom said and I grinned hugely.
“I haven’t been this happy in forever. Thanks’ so much!” Frankie squealed and pulled my Mom into a tight hug, grinning like it was Christmas.
“Wow. I don’t think anyone’s ever hugged me that tight in my life!” My Mom chuckled as Frankie released her, blushing slightly.
“Sorry, it’s just…wow, this is all moving so damn fast. Wow.” Frank said, smiling cutely as he blushed.
“It’s okay sweetie.” My Mom replied and poured Frank a glass of strawberry milkshake.
“Hold on…there are only three bed rooms in this house.” Frank observed, brow furrowing.
“Yes, mine, Mikey’s and then yours and Gerard’s.” My Mom said and even I was a little shocked…she asked my new (and first) boyfriend to move in with us and then lets us share a room? I know we’re like, eighteen and twenty, but still…!
“M-me and Gerard?” Frank asked, sounding a little disbelieving as he choked on his drink, making Mikey giggle and Bob reach over to whack him on the back, making him wince a little.
“Yes…that’s not a problem is it?” My Mom asked sweetly, a motherly smile plastered over her pretty features.
“N-no not at all… is that really okay?” He asked, looking hopeful.
“Of course it is. Don’t be silly, now agree before she changes her mind.” Mikey said and I giggled, Frank beamed at me, throwing his arms around my neck and hugging me tight.
“I’m really moving in with you!” He squealed excitedly, like a small child on their birthday.
“Yes you are.” I giggled in his ear, happiness filling my insides, pumping through my heart and spreading through my veins like wild fire. It was the best feeling ever.
“I’m so happy Gee.” Frank said, his voice shaking…is he crying?
“Baby, are you crying?” I asked, slightly concerned. Was living with me that bad?
“Yeah, but they’re happy tears!” He exclaimed, hugging me tighter.
“Oh, okay, that’s alright then.” I said, laughing lightly and holding onto him as he buried his face in my neck. I looked at my Mom, my brother and my friends. I smiled broadly at them, the first real smile I’ve shown in years and they beamed at me.
“Gerard’s really smiling.” Mikey gasped, grinning insanely.
“And it’s not fake either.” Mom added, examining my face, looking slightly sceptical.
“He’s…happy.” Ray added, his head cocked to the side.
“Frankie made him happy…like really, really happy.” Bob said and Frankie let me go, lacing his fingers with mine and resting our hands on my knee.
“Is it really that much of a rare occasion?” He asked, still smiling with tears running down his face.
“Yeah, In all the years I’ve known Gerard I’ve never seen him smile like that.” Ray said.
“Me neither.” Bob added.
“He hasn’t smiled like that since he was nine… before we found out.” Mikey said, turning his attention to Frank.
“Thank you Frankie…whatever you’re doing keep it up, man!” Mikey said, his smile showing all his perfect teeth.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing, though.” Frankie said, looking slightly bewildered.
“Saving me. You’re saving me from myself, when you around suicidal thoughts are the last ones on my mind.” I whisper, only loud enough for him to hear and he pulls me into another bone crushing embrace.
Please rate and review because there's more to come!!
Jackie
xxx
“Hey Gee. You’ve been gone a long time, what were you doing?” Mikey asked and raised an eyebrow, slouched on my bed with Bob and Ray.
“Yeah, we had a run in with creeper boy.” Frank said and threw himself on the bed that I had just flopped down on.
“Who’s creeper boy?” Ray asked, the three boys looking suddenly more interested.
“Oh just the lovely man who tried to rape Gerard tonight.” Frank said cooly and they all gawped, eyes wide and jaws dropped and slackened.
“What- are- he – you…are you okay?” Bob gabbled and I chuckled.
“Seriously, we’re both fine…he’s not though.” I laughed darkly and Mikey once more looked like a scared child.
“What happened?” Mikey whispered and I propped myself up on my elbows.
“Not a lot, just left him there to die. He deserved it.” I mumbled, shuffling to lean on Frank’s chest as he slumped against my wall.
“What did you do to him?” Ray breathed and I let my eyes slide shut, allowing a small smile to play around my lips.
“I didn’t do anything. The coke and alcohol did though. He was so clearly overdosed as he tried to rape that other girl. I grabbed him, told him what I thought of him as she ran off and then the effects of the overdose started working properly and I left him there. Then we came home.” I said sleepily and yawned, snuggling further into Frank’s touch as he wrapped his arms round my waist.
“Oh dear God.” Ray gasped and I shrugged.
“Can I sleep down here tonight Gee?” Mikey whimpered and I cracked my eye open to look at him- deeply moved at his anxious expression. He was no longer the confident, slightly nerdy, strong eighteen year old, he was the six year old brother who was scared when my parents fought. I knew that look and I couldn’t deny him. He needed his big brother. He needed me.
“Of course you can Mikes, you know you don’t have to ask.” I said and he let out a sigh of relief no one knew he was holding.
“Thanks Gee.” He said and smiled shakily- I could tell our sad excuse for a father had really shaken him up.
“Come here.” I said and opened my arms up for him, still not moving from Frank’s gentle grip as my brother hugged me tightly, lying between my legs as Frank let out a small huff at the weight of me and my brother piling on him all at once. Mikey pulled away after a minute and smiled at me as Frank played absent minded with the ebony black strands of my hair.
“You two are staying down here as well.” I said sternly, pointing a finger at Ray and Bob.
“Where are we going to sleep, the floor?” Bob asked, raising an eyebrow and I smirked.
“Nope. Where do you think? All in the bed together of course.” I said and Ray laughed nervously.
“Are you serious?” Ray asked shakily and I nodded.
“Man, we’re like twenty!” Ray gasped and I nodded, shrugging slightly.
“So. I want you all in my bed.” I said and Ray burst out laughing.
“Never say that again!” Ray chuckled, “Especially not to your brother.” He said and I laughed, realising how bad that must have sounded.
“Fwankie’s tired. He wants to sleep.” Frankie mumbled and I giggled slightly.
“Turn the TV and the light off Mikey, please?” He got up off the bed, turning the light out and then the TV as he walked back to bed. Frank lay against the wall, hugging me from behind, I had Mikey curled up against my chest and Ray and Bob were curled around each other as we started giggling.
“I have no idea what your Mom is going to think when she finds us in the morning!” Bob laughed.
“She won’t care.” Mikey giggled sleepily. I closed my eyes and let my dreams take me, and for once, they weren’t nightmares. They were dreams of what seemed to be my future, I was standing on a stage, screaming out to the thousands of teenagers that were moshing in front of me. I turned around to see Bob thrashing on his drum kit, Mikey timidly playing a blue sparkly bass, Ray shredding on guitar to my left and Frankie jumping around like a hyper freak and slamming on his white Stratocaster. I belted out the last few screams of a misfits song, shouted my thanks to the audience and ran off stage, hand in hand with Frankie as we sweated from the heat of the stage lights.
My dreams dissolved after a while and left me feeling the glorious numbness of a deep sleep I haven’t experienced in so long. There was no struggle to get to sleep, no bad dreams, just deep sleep. It’s almost as if my insomnia is cured.
~
“Morning boys! Sleep well?” I heard my mothers voice call and I groaned, burying my head into Frankie’s t shirt and gripping tighter onto him.
“Pancakes for breakfast?” My mom asked, still uncaring to the fact that none of us wanted to move. I lifted myself up and blinked, yawning and stretching in the cramped bed.
“Hey Mom.” I yawned again and slumped on the pillows.
“What happened to you Gerard?” My mother gasped and I looked down. My shirt was revealing my bruised collar bones and my knuckles were split and swollen, I felt so sore.
“Hmm, nothing Mom.” I said and poked Mikey to wake him up.
“Do you expect me to believe that when you are all piled into bed together as well? You only do that when bad things happen, and even then that’s just with Mikey, but Bob and Ray as well?” She asked confused. I felt Frank stir beside me and he sat up, still not noticing my mother as he hugged my side and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“Morning sugar, you sleep well?” He asked, yawning and finally opening his eye to see my mother standing at the foot of the bed with her hand on her hip and raised eyebrows.
“Care to explain anybody?” My mom asked, also eyeing the lacy bras that lay in a pile on the floor by my wardrobe. Bob sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Frank and Gee went bra shopping. Frank brought Gee hot clothes. We went to party. Gerard got taken off by man. Man tried to rape Gee. Man beat Gee up when he removed Gee’s boxers. Came home. Mikes Dad broke in. Gerard beat the living hell out of him. Police took him away. Gerard and Frank went for a run at about four am because Frank’s energy was high. Met up with rapist who was trying to rape another girl. Rapist had overdosed on cocaine. Gee told him what he thought of him, girl ran off and they left the man there to die. Happy?” Bob said as he flopped back down into the pillows.
“WHAT?!” My mother screamed and I laughed lightly.
“That’s pretty much the long and short of it, yes.” I explained and Mom eyed Frankie suspiciously as he rested his head on my shoulder and laced his fingers through mine, still not quite awake yet.
“Are you and Frankie…together?” My Mom asked carefully as she gestured to the two of us.
“I think it’s safe to say that, isn’t it babe?” Frankie asked and I smiled.
“Sure is.” I confirmed and he gave me a quick peck on the lips.
“Well, I’m happy for you. I’m sorry you went through so much, you should have called me.” My mom said and I shook my head.
“It’s okay, we dealt with it. Anyway, with the speed things happened none of us could have had the time or co-ordination to use a phone properly and explain, Bob should have kept his mouth shut then you wouldn’t have to worry.” I said and scowled at Bob, throwing a pillow at him which actually just hit Ray.
“I do wish you wouldn’t hide things to protect me Gerard.” My mom sighed.
“I’m sorry, ma. Sometimes it’s just for the best.” I smiled at her and she nodded.
“Pancakes and coffee, okay boys?” My mom asked.
“With maple syrup?” Ray asked.
“And blue berries!” Bob shouted excitedly.
“And that pink sugar stuff?” Mikey asked and my Mom chuckled.
“It’s a good job I know my boys.” She laughed.
“Hmm, you certainly do Mom.” Ray said and Frankie looked a bit taken aback.
“Mom?” He asked, frowning slightly (which is so cute!).
“Yup, your all my boys whether you like it or not.” She laughed, her Scottish accent really shining through as it always does in the morning. Maybe that’s why I’m pale? If my mothers Scottish maybe it was from her side? She’s still pretty tanned though.
“Wow.” Frankie murmured as my Mom went up the basement steps, her blonde hair bouncing down her shoulders and cascading to her lower back.
“Come on, get your fat butts out of bed or me and Frank can’t move.” I said and Mikey, Bob and Ray pouted.
“No.” Mikey said so I turned and kissed Frankie passionately, working my mouth harshly against his.
“Okay! Okay, stop it with the kissing, we’re moving.” Ray said and the three piled out of the covers, finding their clothes from yesterday and throwing them on, not really caring what they looked like. Mikey and Bob’s hair is too short to really worry about that much, and Ray’s fro always looks the same no matter what he does or doesn’t do with it.
I squeezed Frank’s hand and got out of the bed, picking up some clothes and walking into my bathroom. I ran a comb through my mane of shaggy black hair and smudged some black liner across the lash line of my lower lids. I raked the tooth brush over my small teeth and looked in the mirror, for once, I don’t completely hate what I saw. It still isn’t perfect and I’m certainly no where near beautiful, but it will do. I shoved my legs into my red skinny jeans and threw on a tight the misfits shirt, looking once more into the mirror and grinning before walking out of the bathroom.
I walked up stairs to find everyone crowding round the kitchen table, talking about recent events as Frankie stared into his mug of black coffee, looking lost and alone. I slipped into the seat beside him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, making him smile weakly at me. Something was up.
“Hey Frankie, what’s wrong?” I whispered, I could tell he didn’t want to be the centre of attention.
“It’s nothing, Gee, don’t worry about me.” He gave me a fake smile and continued to stare at his coffee.
“Frankie, please tell me what it is. I can help.” I pleaded and his big brown eyes locked onto mine.
“I’ve never…had this before.” He muttered, gesturing to the people around us.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Mikey. He was the first person to ever care about me, to ever notice me and not just use me as some punch bag to take out his rage on. He actually talked to me and respected me, he didn’t talk at me and always put me down. Then there’s this, you have awesome friends who I can tell you’ve known for a fair few years and they just accept everything about you. Your Mom as well, I’ve never really had a real Mom, my Mom just used to beat me, tell me I’m wrong and useless. Then when the holidays were over she’d send me to a horrid Catholic boarding school and I’d get beaten by the kids and the teachers there as well. I guess this just feels strange. I’ve gone my whole life not knowing what a real family is, never wanting to have kids because I thought you were meant to treat them the way my parents treated me, I didn’t want to have to do that to a poor defenceless child.” Frank whimpered, letting a few tears slip down his cheeks. I pulled him onto my lap and hugged him close against me, his face buried in my neck.
“It’s okay Frankie, it really is. No one’s going to hurt you any more, I won’t let that happen. Nothing bad is going to happen to you anymore.” I promised, and I meant it with all my heart. I noticed everyone’s gaze was upon us now, but I really didn’t care.
“I love you Gee, so much it hurts.” He whimpered and I kissed his hair.
“I love you too, baby, with all my heart and soul.” I whispered and he looked up, resting his forehead against mine and smiling.
“You’re the only thing I have left to fight for. You and Mikey, and Bob and Ray now too.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Without you, I wouldn’t be alive.” His voice was clear and oozing with conviction, as much as the words hurt, I knew it was true. This beautiful boy would have destroyed himself by now and have been forgotten if my baby brother hadn’t befriended him.
“It’s alright, Frankie. We’re not going anywhere and neither are you. I’ll never let you feel alone again, I promise.” I whispered and brushed my lips so softly against his, treating them like the easily bruised and damaged petals on a blood red rose.
“Um, would now be an okay time to mention that the pancakes are going to go cold?” Mikey asked, some what nervously and me and Frank burst into fits of giggles as he slid off my lap to sit back in his chair.
“Well, that’s that atmosphere lightened.” I laughed and Mom shovelled piles on pancakes, a forest’s worth of blue berries and a lake full of maple syrup onto our plates, dusting everything over with the pink sugar that Mikey used to have on everything. I mean everything too, once he even put it on Sunday dinner.
“So, Frankie, how long are you staying for?” Bob asked through a mouthful of pancake.
“Um, another two weeks and then I have to go back home.” Frankie answered, trying (and failing) to sound a little bit upbeat at the prospect.
“Cool, do you live anywhere round here?” Ray asked and Frank swallowed another mouth full of pancakes.
“No, actually. I live full time in the apartment me and Mikey have for college and then when it comes to Christmas and I finish my course, I’m kicked out of there too.” He muttered, looking down.
“So you’ll go back to your parents then?” My Mom asked and I shot her a glance. Was it only me and Mikey that new of his home situation?
“Um, no.” He almost whispered and my Mom looked confused.
“Are you getting a place of your own then? I wouldn’t have thought you’d have enough money to afford a new apartment?” My Mom asked, me wanting to whack her around the back of the head with a cry of ‘WASP’ for being such an idiot. I couldn’t though, it wouldn’t be fair anyway, she doesn’t know.
“I don’t… I’ll just be on the streets again.” He murmured and even I was taken aback.
“Again?!” I asked, shocked and he nodded.
“My parents kicked me out the first time when I was twelve because I refused to go to church or have anything to do with being a Catholic. I went back after six months. Second time when I was fourteen and rumours were going round town that I was gay. I got taken back by the police when I was fifteen and managed to convince my parents that I was straight. Then I don’t think I’ve had anything other than a rough night or two up until I got the college placement and told my parents I was bisexual, then they lost it for good. They won’t even acknowledge my existence anymore.” Frank said, treating it like it was nothing.
“Man, that’s awful. Why didn’t you tell us?” Mikey asked.
“I was sort of scared about how you’d react. I mean, it’s a miracle you want to know me any way, with my home situation so messed up. I didn’t want you to think of me as a scavenging homeless weirdo as well.” He said, looking my brother dead in the eye, I could see Mikey looking un nerved as something showed in Frank’s eyes that was fairly scary.
“We would never think that of you.” My Mom said and the corners of Frank’s mouth twitched into a smile.
“Thank you, that means a lot, Donna.” Frankie said, smiling.
“Please call me Mom, especially seeing as you’ll be moving in with us.” Mom said and I tried not to spit out my coffee.
“What?” He whispered. Yeah, my sentiments exactly.
“I want you to move in with me, Gerard and Mikey. If you want to, of course?” She asked and Frankie breathed in deep, nodding slowly.
“I- do- what- do you mean it, Mom?” I asked, still quite shocked that she’d just asked my boyfriend to move in with me.
“Of course I do. I haven’t seen you this happy in forever, I wouldn’t want that to be pulled out from under your feet. Bad things happen on the streets, especially in New Jersey.” My Mom said and I grinned hugely.
“I haven’t been this happy in forever. Thanks’ so much!” Frankie squealed and pulled my Mom into a tight hug, grinning like it was Christmas.
“Wow. I don’t think anyone’s ever hugged me that tight in my life!” My Mom chuckled as Frankie released her, blushing slightly.
“Sorry, it’s just…wow, this is all moving so damn fast. Wow.” Frank said, smiling cutely as he blushed.
“It’s okay sweetie.” My Mom replied and poured Frank a glass of strawberry milkshake.
“Hold on…there are only three bed rooms in this house.” Frank observed, brow furrowing.
“Yes, mine, Mikey’s and then yours and Gerard’s.” My Mom said and even I was a little shocked…she asked my new (and first) boyfriend to move in with us and then lets us share a room? I know we’re like, eighteen and twenty, but still…!
“M-me and Gerard?” Frank asked, sounding a little disbelieving as he choked on his drink, making Mikey giggle and Bob reach over to whack him on the back, making him wince a little.
“Yes…that’s not a problem is it?” My Mom asked sweetly, a motherly smile plastered over her pretty features.
“N-no not at all… is that really okay?” He asked, looking hopeful.
“Of course it is. Don’t be silly, now agree before she changes her mind.” Mikey said and I giggled, Frank beamed at me, throwing his arms around my neck and hugging me tight.
“I’m really moving in with you!” He squealed excitedly, like a small child on their birthday.
“Yes you are.” I giggled in his ear, happiness filling my insides, pumping through my heart and spreading through my veins like wild fire. It was the best feeling ever.
“I’m so happy Gee.” Frank said, his voice shaking…is he crying?
“Baby, are you crying?” I asked, slightly concerned. Was living with me that bad?
“Yeah, but they’re happy tears!” He exclaimed, hugging me tighter.
“Oh, okay, that’s alright then.” I said, laughing lightly and holding onto him as he buried his face in my neck. I looked at my Mom, my brother and my friends. I smiled broadly at them, the first real smile I’ve shown in years and they beamed at me.
“Gerard’s really smiling.” Mikey gasped, grinning insanely.
“And it’s not fake either.” Mom added, examining my face, looking slightly sceptical.
“He’s…happy.” Ray added, his head cocked to the side.
“Frankie made him happy…like really, really happy.” Bob said and Frankie let me go, lacing his fingers with mine and resting our hands on my knee.
“Is it really that much of a rare occasion?” He asked, still smiling with tears running down his face.
“Yeah, In all the years I’ve known Gerard I’ve never seen him smile like that.” Ray said.
“Me neither.” Bob added.
“He hasn’t smiled like that since he was nine… before we found out.” Mikey said, turning his attention to Frank.
“Thank you Frankie…whatever you’re doing keep it up, man!” Mikey said, his smile showing all his perfect teeth.
“I’m not sure what I’m doing, though.” Frankie said, looking slightly bewildered.
“Saving me. You’re saving me from myself, when you around suicidal thoughts are the last ones on my mind.” I whisper, only loud enough for him to hear and he pulls me into another bone crushing embrace.
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Jackie
xxx
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