Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We can lose ourselves.
'You okay?' Frank flashes the whiteboard under my nose as he sits at the side of my bed, his silence emitting a peaceful aura around the room. My wrists were still bandaged from the straps two nights ago. Apparently, after I had taken the pills, I began fitting.
I still couldn't shake the men I saw in my mind. Especially the image of Frank. Sweet, innocent, silent little Frank, who wouldn't so much as harm a fly was warped into a monster by my black, torturous abyss that was my mind. I looked at the boy beside my bed.
And the scary thing is I can see the beast in him. I can imagine the scruffy, unkept hair, the wild honey eyes and the crude smile that would tug at the corner of his lips, revealing animalistic teeth that could shred a throat in seconds.
Frank smacked me with the board, jolting me away from my dismal thoughts and gave me a look as if to say 'Are you even paying attention to me?!'. I smiled,
"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, Frank."
He flashes me his trademark grin which I had grown accustomed to since the past few days bedridden. I felt bad for Frank sometimes; he has been here for three years with no signs of speech and a single friend. He has me now though, and even I leave before him, I'll still come and visit him on a regular basis. In fact, I might ask my parents if I can stay here to be with him, that's what best friends are for right?
Frank picked up his toy kitten, which he had named Soot and began to stroke it lovingly. I had found out a lot about Frank over our short period of time together. When I had first woken up after the 'Tablet Incident' as Doctor Ray called it, I found Frank in a chair beside me, his head resting on my arm and his eyes gently shut, sleeping softly. Doctor Bob told me that he had refused to leave me for even a second for fear of losing his only friend. The had tried prying him away, but that only resulted in Frank having a huge tantrum in the 'Time Out' room, causing Ray and Bob to finally give in as he might of disturbed other patients. They sent him to the 'Activities room' with a few other children, but Frank had just kept on finding his way back to me.
Eventually, Ray and Bob had had enough and left Frank to it. I couldn't help but snicker at the face Doctor Ray had pulled when he informed me of this. But I'm glad they let Frank stay, it was comforting to have someone to talk to and who would always listened. He was fascinated by the fact I had a younger brother, sister, mom, dad and a dog called Barnaby.
It was like as if he had no family of his own.
I guessed he had no family, and if he did then they must be a pretty lousy one considering they've left him here for three years without a word of comfort or reassurance, not even a visit to let him know that they were still alive. I was going to ask Doctor Bob and Ray about it later, but no oppertunity had arose yet, considering Frank hadn't left my side for over twenty-four hours.
"So Frank, what do ya wanna do today?" I asked. I kind of owe it to him, I have been bedridden for ages now. His eyes light up at my words and he scribbles violently on his whiteboard. 'I want to play Cops and Robbers.' It states and I grin like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. I haven't played this game in ages. I used to play it with Mikey, before...before...
Before you hurt him. Cackles the man in my head, finishing my sentence for me.
Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!! I screamed mentally.
And the voice disappears as quickly as it came.
"Yeah, Frank. Let's go." I said to him, watching his face brighten up in pure delight. I got up, worming the IV out of my hand and pulled the bandage up to meet the little hole, concealing it from sight.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
It didn't take us long to get outside in the garden area. It had only just gone past lunch so a few adults were out as well, nurses and doctors sharing lunch on the picnic benches.
Frank and I made our way to our orchard where we had first became friends. It was Autumn time now, so rosy red apples had began to ripen on the branches above.
Frank stopped suddenly, staring ahead with and icy cold glare. I frowned and turned to look as well.
Sitting in the middle of the clearing is a girl. She's dressed in white too, but she wore a dress rather than a set of toursers and shirts. Rusty, ginger hair fell to the small of her back and her skin was patterned with freckles. She seemed to be engaged heavily in conversation...
...But there was no one there to talk to.
She spotted us staring and scrutinised us with bright emerald eyes. Her gaze fixated on my IV hole and bandaged wrists.
"You aren't meant to be out of your room, you know?" She said, her voice soft and her language was mature for her age. "You're the boy who took those sleeping tablets and had a fit weren't you?" She asked. Frank and I both shared the same shocked expression,
"Wha-? How did you know?" I questioned, bewildered.
She pointed past me and Frank into the empty space behind us.
"Envieux, just told me." She replied.
"Who the hell is Envieux?" I enquiered. She rolled her eyes.
"Your angel of course!" She sighed, exasperated. She obviously thought that this was something I should know about. I went to say something when she cut me off.
"Belle and Peur do not like your angel, Gerard."
Okay. How did she know my name?
"Before you ask, Belle is my angel and Peur is Frank's." She continued in a soft, delicate voice.
I frowned, thinking back to Franch lessons that seemed so far away now.
Then it clicked.
"Belle...That's a french word, right?"
She nodded.
"Yes. Belle; the word for beauty."
That angel had good taste, this girl really was beautiful, with her pale complexity and vivid eyes and coppery hair. Her looks practically had no parralel.
"Peur, is your angel Frank. Peur means-"
"Fear..." I whispered, completing her sentence.
She nodded again.
"Correct, Gerard...Now that brings us to your angel...If that's what you could call it. Envieux is a tortured soul, he is more of a deamon, Gerard...Envieux means 'Envy'."
I gulped as she chuckled to herself.
"It's funny how everyday people have more than one angel in their liftime, but doctors and nurses only have to angels. Those sngels will stay with them until the end of their careers."
I see Frank shaking beside me and he clings to my arm tightly, burying his face into my shirt, absolutely terrified. I sallowed a lump down that I wasn't even aware of. Just who did she think she was?
"Oh yeah? And which angels are these then?" I challenge her and she looks at me incredolously, like she can't believe what she's hearing, therefore making me feel more stupid.
"Why, only the two most powerful angels in existance; La vie et la mort. And we both know who they are..."
I nod.
La vie: Life.
La mort: Death.
I still couldn't shake the men I saw in my mind. Especially the image of Frank. Sweet, innocent, silent little Frank, who wouldn't so much as harm a fly was warped into a monster by my black, torturous abyss that was my mind. I looked at the boy beside my bed.
And the scary thing is I can see the beast in him. I can imagine the scruffy, unkept hair, the wild honey eyes and the crude smile that would tug at the corner of his lips, revealing animalistic teeth that could shred a throat in seconds.
Frank smacked me with the board, jolting me away from my dismal thoughts and gave me a look as if to say 'Are you even paying attention to me?!'. I smiled,
"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, Frank."
He flashes me his trademark grin which I had grown accustomed to since the past few days bedridden. I felt bad for Frank sometimes; he has been here for three years with no signs of speech and a single friend. He has me now though, and even I leave before him, I'll still come and visit him on a regular basis. In fact, I might ask my parents if I can stay here to be with him, that's what best friends are for right?
Frank picked up his toy kitten, which he had named Soot and began to stroke it lovingly. I had found out a lot about Frank over our short period of time together. When I had first woken up after the 'Tablet Incident' as Doctor Ray called it, I found Frank in a chair beside me, his head resting on my arm and his eyes gently shut, sleeping softly. Doctor Bob told me that he had refused to leave me for even a second for fear of losing his only friend. The had tried prying him away, but that only resulted in Frank having a huge tantrum in the 'Time Out' room, causing Ray and Bob to finally give in as he might of disturbed other patients. They sent him to the 'Activities room' with a few other children, but Frank had just kept on finding his way back to me.
Eventually, Ray and Bob had had enough and left Frank to it. I couldn't help but snicker at the face Doctor Ray had pulled when he informed me of this. But I'm glad they let Frank stay, it was comforting to have someone to talk to and who would always listened. He was fascinated by the fact I had a younger brother, sister, mom, dad and a dog called Barnaby.
It was like as if he had no family of his own.
I guessed he had no family, and if he did then they must be a pretty lousy one considering they've left him here for three years without a word of comfort or reassurance, not even a visit to let him know that they were still alive. I was going to ask Doctor Bob and Ray about it later, but no oppertunity had arose yet, considering Frank hadn't left my side for over twenty-four hours.
"So Frank, what do ya wanna do today?" I asked. I kind of owe it to him, I have been bedridden for ages now. His eyes light up at my words and he scribbles violently on his whiteboard. 'I want to play Cops and Robbers.' It states and I grin like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. I haven't played this game in ages. I used to play it with Mikey, before...before...
Before you hurt him. Cackles the man in my head, finishing my sentence for me.
Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!! I screamed mentally.
And the voice disappears as quickly as it came.
"Yeah, Frank. Let's go." I said to him, watching his face brighten up in pure delight. I got up, worming the IV out of my hand and pulled the bandage up to meet the little hole, concealing it from sight.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
It didn't take us long to get outside in the garden area. It had only just gone past lunch so a few adults were out as well, nurses and doctors sharing lunch on the picnic benches.
Frank and I made our way to our orchard where we had first became friends. It was Autumn time now, so rosy red apples had began to ripen on the branches above.
Frank stopped suddenly, staring ahead with and icy cold glare. I frowned and turned to look as well.
Sitting in the middle of the clearing is a girl. She's dressed in white too, but she wore a dress rather than a set of toursers and shirts. Rusty, ginger hair fell to the small of her back and her skin was patterned with freckles. She seemed to be engaged heavily in conversation...
...But there was no one there to talk to.
She spotted us staring and scrutinised us with bright emerald eyes. Her gaze fixated on my IV hole and bandaged wrists.
"You aren't meant to be out of your room, you know?" She said, her voice soft and her language was mature for her age. "You're the boy who took those sleeping tablets and had a fit weren't you?" She asked. Frank and I both shared the same shocked expression,
"Wha-? How did you know?" I questioned, bewildered.
She pointed past me and Frank into the empty space behind us.
"Envieux, just told me." She replied.
"Who the hell is Envieux?" I enquiered. She rolled her eyes.
"Your angel of course!" She sighed, exasperated. She obviously thought that this was something I should know about. I went to say something when she cut me off.
"Belle and Peur do not like your angel, Gerard."
Okay. How did she know my name?
"Before you ask, Belle is my angel and Peur is Frank's." She continued in a soft, delicate voice.
I frowned, thinking back to Franch lessons that seemed so far away now.
Then it clicked.
"Belle...That's a french word, right?"
She nodded.
"Yes. Belle; the word for beauty."
That angel had good taste, this girl really was beautiful, with her pale complexity and vivid eyes and coppery hair. Her looks practically had no parralel.
"Peur, is your angel Frank. Peur means-"
"Fear..." I whispered, completing her sentence.
She nodded again.
"Correct, Gerard...Now that brings us to your angel...If that's what you could call it. Envieux is a tortured soul, he is more of a deamon, Gerard...Envieux means 'Envy'."
I gulped as she chuckled to herself.
"It's funny how everyday people have more than one angel in their liftime, but doctors and nurses only have to angels. Those sngels will stay with them until the end of their careers."
I see Frank shaking beside me and he clings to my arm tightly, burying his face into my shirt, absolutely terrified. I sallowed a lump down that I wasn't even aware of. Just who did she think she was?
"Oh yeah? And which angels are these then?" I challenge her and she looks at me incredolously, like she can't believe what she's hearing, therefore making me feel more stupid.
"Why, only the two most powerful angels in existance; La vie et la mort. And we both know who they are..."
I nod.
La vie: Life.
La mort: Death.
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