Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Married in the life of Ryden

Memories, Where'd You Go?

by Uriefury 0 reviews

it's part.. 9? I don't know. I write I post. Read this cause, surely you read the previous chapters, if you're reading this :3

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres:  - Published: 2011-05-07 - Updated: 2011-05-07 - 1923 words

0Unrated
So here it is, overdue x3 I get way to lazy when I'm given 2 weeks to just chill. So, who has watched nyan cat yet?
But anyway, I've been productive today, other than posting this today and the next chapter tomorrow. Yes, two xD I've done three hours of revision as my sky box is on the edge of dying it's vintage ^.^ RIP sky box.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ryan's stubbornness, Jack Sparrow (I'm currently watching pirate of the Caribbean) I own all spelling mistakes, and in sorry about them all. I don't own any charecters in the story.

Okay, so I hope you enjoy :3

"how are you" Sarah asked quietly, sitting down next to me and taking my free hand. My left hand was holding a cup of scotch. Yay for taking up drinking. 
"I'm drunk" i started, swirling around the cup and inevitably spilling most of it's contents. I leant my head on Sarah's shoulder and sighed. 
"Bren, I think it's best if, we aren't a couple. You still love Ryan" she stroked my cheek and took the unstable cup out of my hands. I nodded and kissed her neck. "we've got a baby, and you live here, I think you've got the whole 'being there for me' covered" she turned to face me and smiled, putting a hand on her still relatively flat stomach. 
"I'msorryforgettingyoupregnant" I spoke really fast, slurring it all into one mega long word. She paused to figure out what I said then smiled. 
"you're an idiot" she whispered, placing her hand on my forehead. I closed my eyes and smiled at her soft, warm hand. I laughed a bit.
"love you Sarah" I said, grinning at her. I did. She's awesome. 
"yeah, you too" she whispered, getting up and leaving for the kitchen.

Ryan's POV:

"hello?" i chimed down the phone.
"hey Ry" Barely a whisper reached my ear as I realised it was Brendon. I relaxed my arms a bit and leaned on the kitchen table.  
"B-Bren, what do you want?" I stuttered, putting my hand on my hip. 
"I want to talk to you about this divorce" he said firmly. I froze, racking my brains for something to say other than a desperate "come back".
"Brendon. I can't be married to you. And I'm not discussing it any further" i said eventually, starting to breathe heavy. 
"look Ry, can we just talk about it in person tomorrow? Please? Are you okay?" I could hear his worried tone, picturing his face. I sighed and bit my lip. 
"I'm fine" I breathed out, calming myself. "if I say yes, will you promise you'll listen to me?" I asked, quietly and shyly.
"Ry, honey, sure. I love you" I sighed as my heart exploded. I could hear him starting to sob. 
"b-bye Brendon" i whispered through the phone. I dropped the phone on the table and started to dig through the drawers to find my inhaler as Jon opened the door and staggered his way to his room. I should go after him and demand what he had been doing, but I won't. He's turning into a teenage me. I'm a bad parent.

The next day

I watched as Jon hastily ran out of the house again. I guess this was what mum saw me as. He was supposed to be here and keep Spencie company when Bren and I were talking, but he'll have to explain that to Spence later. Though, Jon does need his alone time, I sure don't give him any at the moment. It's a tough situation. I sighed and took my cup off of the table I still hadn't bothered to clean. The tablecloth sat morosely on top of the bloodstains, just reminding me that the two people I cared about the most left me. But, I'll survive. I stood up and opened the door as Brendon rang the doorbell. Spencer hugged me then ran in to see where Jon was. Brendon stood awkwardly In the doorway. 
"where's Jon, Ryan?" he asked, disappointment in his eyes. 
"aww, Spencie, I'm sorry, he ran out for some reason" I picked Spencie up and gave him another tight hug before he ran off to pry around in Jon's room. Brendon walked in a few steps and pulled me into a loose and hesitant hug before I could do anything about it. 
"Ry" he muttered into my shoulder. I pulled away carefully and sat at the table. 
"What do you want me to say Brendon? I've explained it all to you. Were going to that court meeting and were getting divorced" I told him, adjusting the tablecloth. He sighed and got down on his knees in front of me. 
"I still love you Ryan, what do you want me to do?" he whispered, looking down at the floor which also wasn't clean of bloodstains. He quickly looked up into my eyes then cringed away. He then settled in closing his eyes and placing his head on my lap.
"I don't want you to do anything Brendon, we can't carry on our marriage with this hanging about!" I stood up and walked into the living room, Brendon close behind. 
"But we can get through anything. My dad put you in hospital, and we got through that!" Brendon said in an exasperated tone. He sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee gently. 
"that was different. Last time he hurt me. This time you hurt me. You were there for me last time, you can't be here for me now" I told Brendon quietly. He sighed and put an arm around my waist.
"Ry, can't you just, forget?" he asked, looking down at his feet.
"no, I can't just forget. It's not an easy fix, Brendon" I said, irritated. I tried to move away but he pulled me closer.
"sorry, sorry. It was a long shot. I was just asking Ry. But i understand" He kissed my forehead quickly. "I see your point now. It cant be the same anymore" he stopped and wiped his eyes. "Can't we see a therapist or something?" he asked hopefully, threading his hand through my hair awkwardly. I wanted to, but not yet.
"Bren, not yet. Let's just have time off, besides, you've got Sarah" I looked away, fiddling with my belt. 
"we decided we won't be together because I don't want to be, or something like that. I don't quite remember.." he trailed away. "I haven't actually said sorry for any of this, have I?" he looked down at my hand which still bore my wedding ring and wiped his face roughly. I shook my head and looked down. He still had his wedding ring on as well. "Ry, you know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, for the hospital, I'm so sorry for all of this" he paused and buried his face in my shoulder. "I-I know it probably doesn't mean much" he stuttered, carefully slipping his hand into mine. I felt hot tears seeping through my shirt. 
"it means so much Bren, thankyou" I whispered, leaning my head carefully on his. I slid my arm around him and kissed his cheek.
"p-please don't divorce me" Brendon said so quietly through tears. 
"Bren.." I stopped to think out what i was going to say as my heart broke. "i think, I just need some time, you should live with Sarah, she's got your child and she needs you now" I told him, running a hand through my hair. He nodded slightly and wiped his face roughly. I pulled out of his grasp and he sat up, rubbing his face with his sleeve.
"I-if you need time then j-just cancel the court meeting a-and we'll still be married, just taking time t-to cool off, I-I can't lose you" he hiccupped, bringing his knees to his face and burying his head out of sight.
"sticky situation you've created huh" I murmured,a little annoyed the message hadn't sunk in. He heard, and sobbed a bit harder, curling himself further into a ball. I sighed and moved closer to him, putting my arm around him and stroking his hair. I was in the exact same situation, hated hurting him. "Brendon, please stop crying" I whispered, wiping his cheek when he looked up.
"Why Ry?" Just so you can build my hopes up and then shoot me down again? You're sending me mixed signals!" he shouted, waving his hands about. I sank into the sofa, it scares me when he shouts. 
"Bren, I didn't mean it like I said it" I whispered, looking down at my feet.
"Ryan, Joe's telling me you're a wreck, wanting me back. Spencer's saying the same thing! Then I come here and you're being stubborn, and divorcing me, telling me what a crap place I've put myself in. I know I have Ryan, but you won't let me give you a chance to take you back. This is hurting Sarah too, she feels horrible" he said a bit quieter, moving over and stroking my cheek. "I'm sorry for shouting. We keep hurting eachother" he sat as close as he could to me and took my hand. "Please tell me what you're feeling" he whispered, waiting for me to respond.
"I'm feeling like I should just walk out and stuff but I won't because I still love you, so much. I dont love you any less" I said, looking into his eyes. "of course I want you back, But I've explained why It couldnt work. You said you understood. Were sort of past all the cheating crap because now there's a baby, but im still hurt, Bren. But I'm still in love with you. I don't want to lose you Bren. I won't, but Sarah needs you, and I need time" I stuttered, blinking away tears. 
"I suppose we're all one big family now" Brendon whispered, leaning his head on my shoulders once more. "we'll just have to work things out. I've messed things up but this is the family now. I'm going to make it work" he murmured into my shoulder. I nodded. "Ry, do you think we'll ever be back to where we were?" he asked almost silently, putting a hand on my chest. I shrugged and shuffled away as Spencer came in and sat on my lap.
"Can we do something fun tomorrow?" Spencie asked sweetly, tucking some hair behind his ears. Brendon looked at me, then looked at Spencer.
"why don't we go to Disneyland?" he suggested, knowing full well I didn't like rides. I groaned as Spencers face lit up.
"yeah, we can I suppose" I stopped and glared at Brendon, who smiled slightly. "I'll wait up while you go on all the rides" i sighed, playing with Spencie's hair. 
"no, we can make a day of it, have lunch there, do stuff together as well, family building" Brendon grinned again. He was annoying me a bit but it wasn't a bad idea. 
"yeah, bring Sarah as well" I looked at brendon then looked quickly back at Spence.
"Are you two okay yet? Are you going to fight tomorrow?" Spence asked quietly, looking at Brendon and I. I kissed Spencer's forehead and sighed. 
"Were dealing, its getting better" I looked at Brendon and he nodded. "don't you worry about us Spencie, we'll be fine tomorrow, we'll have fun" I laughed a bit, remembering what a little kid Brendon was at Disneyland the last time we went. Wonder if anythings changed..
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