FicWad

3 weeks later…

Derek walked into the same bar that he'd found Reid in before. He was a bit surprised to find Reid there again but he figured that even the kid needed to have fun once in awhile. Although he thought that Spencer's definition of fun was probably not anyone else's.

Derek sat beside Spencer. He's been trying to get him alone for weeks and hadn't been able to do it. He motioned the bartender over and asked for a beer.

Spencer turned in his chair so that he was facing his friend. "Umm..I never thanked you for giving me the courage to go and talk to Gideon."

Derek smiled. "It was nothing. You would have done the same for me."

Spencer leaned over and gently kissed Derek. He hadn't planned for that to happen. In fact as he was leaning over, every fiber of his brain that wasn't swimming in alcohol had been screaming at him that what he was doing was bad. "I-I'm s-sorry." He stammered.

Derek grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him back. That had been something he'd wanted to do for a long time. He felt Reid melt against him. How long had it been since anyone (besides Derek) had hugged him or held him? He knew that Reid wasn't exactly the physical contact type but he also knew that he could be. Derek figured that with Reid's mother being the way that she was, he just didn't know how to ask.

Derek looked into Reid's eyes. If he saw fear or disgust he didn't know what he would do. Never mind the fact that Reid had kissed him back. You don't kiss someone, if you find the idea repulsive Derek reasoned with himself. But there was only one way to find out.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Derek was staring into Spencer's brown eyes. He was a little surprised when he saw no hesitation.

"Absolutely."

"Did you drive here?"

Spencer shook his head. "I had a meeting, so I walked from there to here."

Derek suddenly looked concerned. "That good of a meeting eh? From one device to another."

Spencer smiled. It was the first genuine smile that Derek had seen from him in a while. He figured that had to be a good sign. "Today it was about getting past the addiction by owning the trauma. I know it doesn't sound difficult and it wasn't when it was all in my head. But trying to say it out loud; that was difficult."

Derek held his hand. "It's over now."

Spencer exhaled a breath that he didn't even know that he was holding. "Yeah, until next week."

"Come on." They exited the bar together. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do but he knew that whatever it was he had to do it right; there weren't going to be any second chances. Derek couldn't say that he knew what it was like; or knew what Reid was going through. All he could do was be there for him. And maybe show him that eventually everything works out in the end.

Reid was unsure what he was going to do. He knew that Derek cared about him; he also knew that Derek was the only person that could guess what the whole thing had been like. Sure he'd opened up to Garcia before but this was different. This was the one event (besides realizing that he knew nothing about his father) that could change him and quite possibly break him. He had no idea if he was strong enough to tell Derek all the things that he wanted to. It was one of those things that he would just have to wait out and hope for the best.

So now he was inside Derek's house for the second time. He realized that he hadn't been completely honest with Derek when they had spoken at the bar. He knew that that would have to be the first thing that he addressed or nothing else, not even the kiss at the bar, would make sense.

So he stood in Derek's living room and waited for Derek to come in and tell him what to do. What it was that he wanted him to do. Soon enough Derek came in. Reid looked so lost and upset, he didn't know how he was going to start but he knew that if he didn't say something, the moment would be lost. He knew that if anyone was going to be able to get Spencer to open up; it would have to be him.

"Wanna sit?"

Reid sat on his couch and was staring at the patch of carpet between his shoes. Derek had opened his mouth to say something when Spencer put his head in his hands and started to cry. He'd been doing too much of that lately and he knew that at some point it was time to be a man.

You're weak, just like my son.

He hadn't noticed it but he started rocking. Derek was unsure as to what to do. He out his arm around him, much as he had that night that Spencer had been completely wasted. And just like he had that night, he fell into his embrace, trying to practically sit in his lap. The first thing that Derek noticed was that despite the fact that Reid was wearing a sweater he was shivering. It wasn't the drugs this time and he knew that. No, this time it was the demons in his head.

As he leaned against the older man's chest, the hair that he usually tucked behind his ear fell into his face. That just made him look younger than he was, as it usually did. It just made Derek angry, angrier then he had been when he first discovered that Reid had been kidnapped.

"Talk to me man."

Reid licked his lips, Derek knew this was also one of the signs that Reid wasn't doing so well. He took a deep breath and tried to make his breathing match the heartbeat. He knew that he needed to calm down or all he would be doing was crying. "I can't get it out of my head. I can't get his voice out of my head, the cold look in his eyes when he was Rafael, the anger when he was his father and the sympathetic yet terrified look when he was Tobias."

When a tear made its way down Reid's cheek, Derek moved it away with his thumb. He took a deep breath and attempted to continue. "When we have a new case, I can see myself in the victims, Hankel in the unsub. For no other reason then simple memory recall my body aches, I'll feel blood trickling down the side of my face, my foot will burn and I'll no practical reason to explain why I'm crying. I'm totally at a loss for an explanation for my own behaviour."

Derek sighed. He had told Gideon that Reid should be in some form of counseling. All Gideon had told him was that Reid was smart; he'd survive. And now Derek realized that they have gotten him out alive but the emotional and psychological damage would be there for awhile.

Derek kissed the top of Spencer's head. For someone so tall, he could make himself impossibly small. He began to gently rock him back and forth while rubbing small circles on his back. He wanted Spencer to know that in the turmoil that his life had become, he was safe and that Morgan would protect him from everyone, including himself.

Derek picked him up and carried him to bed. Once on the bed, he found himself staring into a pair of wide brown eyes. "So?" Derek laughed; he always thought that Reid's social awkwardness just served to make the man adorable. Before Derek could over-analyze the situation and back down he kissed Reid. All it was meant to be was a soft brush of lips but Spencer was the one that deepened the kiss by opening his mouth and running his tongue against Derek's bottom lip until Derek gave him access to the inside of his mouth.

Once they broke for air Derek once again searched those brown eyes for any regret; he was relieved when he found none. He could see that Spencer was anxious; the way he played with the ends of his hair told Derek that. "What is it Reid?"

"I…um," he licked his lips, "I've never done anything like this before."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not going to hurt you."

Spencer nodded. He trusted Morgan and he knew that Morgan knew this. Morgan wasn't sure why he thought that having sex with Spencer would help but he did. In any event, he knew that he needed to keep his friend relaxed.

Derek began by kissing down his neck. He unbuttoned Spencer's shirt as he made his way down his chest. He dragged his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. He tossed the shirt onto the floor and began working on Spencer's pants. It didn't take long before Spencer was completely naked in front of him. "Wow."

Spencer blushed. He had tried to stop it as he felt his face get hot but he couldn't make it go away. "What?"

Derek smiled. "This is going to come out sounding like a line no matter what I do. So I'm apologizing in advance if this sounds cheesy, but you're beautiful."

Spencer smiled. He couldn't think of anything to say. He wasn't blushing again (which was good news as far as Spencer was concerned, no need to prove that he was immature as well as young) and he had butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't believe that this was happening.

Derek removed his own shirt, and then gently coaxed Spencer onto his stomach. He pushed Spencer's knees underneath him so that his ass was raised a bit. Spencer felt his face flush a bit but he knew that Derek would never do anything to make him intentionally uncomfortable, so he waited. He gasped when he felt something hot and wet swirl in and around his anus. This definitely was not something that he'd been prepared for.

It took all the will power that Spencer possessed not to try and push his ass on the tongue that was currently driving him crazy. Morgan smiled as he blew a puff of air over Spencer's hole and chuckled at the gasp that he received. He gently pushed Spencer so that he was on his back. "Are you ready?"

Spencer was shaking; it wasn't that he wasn't excited; the erection jutting out from between his legs was proof of that. "I want to…" He took a deep breath. "I'm worried that it'll hurt." His eyes never left Derek's eyes.

Derek smiled at the young man lying beneath him. "Do you trust me?"

Spencer showed no hesitation at all. "Of course."

Derek smiled. "Good. Then don't worry. I'll take care of you."

Reid gulped around the lump in his throat. "Okay." His voice cracked and he smiled. He needed Derek to know that he trusted him. When Derek put two of his fingers over Spencer's lips he sucked them into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, making them as wet as he could. He knew where Derek was going with this.

His breath hitched when he felt those fingers gently stroke his anus. He waited. He held his breath as he felt those same fingers pushing against his hole and finally thrust in and out of him. It burned a little as he was being stretched and prepared.

Derek got in between Spencer's shaking thighs. As he lined up the head of his cock with Spencer's hole; Spencer wrapped his legs around Derek's waist and pressed down a little. He knew that he had to do that in order to show Derek that he was ready. "Alright, baby. Take it easy. This'll hurt a bit."

Spencer took a deep breath and tried to will his body to stay relaxed. He squeezed his eyes shut and hissed through his teeth. Hurting a bit was an understatement; it hurt a lot. He had to use all the self-control that he had not to try and force Derek out of his body.

Finally Derek was completely inside Reid and he stopped moving. He wanted to give the boy time to adjust. He could remember how it had felt the first time he had someone's cock up his ass and he knew that this first time would either make him want to do it again, or not at all; ever.

Reid took a deep, shaky breath "Okay. I'm r-ready."

Derek braced himself on his arms. It was important that Spencer be able to see him. Derek knew this. As Derek started to move, he knew that he must have hit Reid's spot because the kid was suddenly relaxed, moaning and trying to match him thrust for thrust. "Does that feel good pretty boy?"

Reid tried talking but his brain seemed to have forgotten how. So he just nodded. As Derek started to pick up some speed, Spencer wrapped his legs tighter around Derek's waist and wrapped his arms around Derek's neck. It was like he wanted to get as close to him as he could possibly get. He could feel a tightening and knew that he was going to come.

Morgan wasn't stupid; he knew that the kid was going to come. He could feel in the way that Spencer clamped down around his cock. He sped up his thrusts. He wanted them to come together, he set up a fast pace and smiled at the look on Spencer's face. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Th-Th-This is good. Oh God." He bit his lip and his eyes settled on Derek's. "I'm….Oh…I'm going to come."

"I know. Don't worry, I'll get you there." Within minutes they came together, Spencer splattering their stomachs while Morgan filled Spencer's ass. Spencer blinked; he'd never had the feeling of someone coming inside of him before. It wasn't entirely unpleasant; just something that he assumed he'd have to get used to.

Derek pulled out and held Spencer close. Spencer didn't feel bad and he didn't regret what he did. So when he started to cry, he didn't fully understand why. Derek rubbed Reid's back. "Are you okay?" He was afraid that he'd either hurt him or he was regretting what he had done.

Spencer nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Yeah." He was shaking, it reminded him of the first time that he'd shot someone. He'd been steady when he'd had the gun in his hands, when he'd aimed and fired. After, when they'd been back on the jet his hands had shook so badly. It had taken an hour or so to get it to stop.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. It was good."

Derek chuckled. "You're overwhelmed; even if you don't know that's what it is."

Spencer snuggled into Derek's embrace. He wasn't particularly worried about what would happen in the morning. He was just happy that for once things seemed to be working out for him and at the moment things were as normal as they ever got.