Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Helena
“Ray, why did you do this?” I asked as I finished bandaging the wounds on his arms.
“I just felt empty.” He replied and I looked up at him, my expression quizzical.
“I don’t understand.” I said softly and he sighed, his shoulders slumping.
“I-I… I think Bob has bipolar.” He confessed and I gasped, truly shocked as to why he would think that.
“What?” I asked and Ray hung his head.
“I just, well…he’ll have months and months when he’s really depressed and he sleeps loads, then he’ll have this big mood swing and he’ll be all hyper and can’t sleep and talks really fast for a few days or weeks or months and then it’s back again to the depression. I tried to talk to him about it but he just got angry with me and we fought, he’d hurt me sometimes, even rape me. But when he snapped out of it he was more afraid than I was.” Ray confessed, his head still hung and his voice quiet.
“Ray, it’s okay, really.” I said, enveloping him in a tight hug, “We’ll talk to him about it, yeah, together. All of us.” I promised.
“Can you take me back now please?” Ray asked and I nodded, taking his hand and leading him out of the apartment, the door locking automatically as we shut it behind us and made our way down the stairs.
“Before we ask Bob anything we need to tell the guys first and wait a few weeks, keep an eye on him like.” I said as we climbed into Gerard’s POS car.
“Okay, I’m just really worried about him Frankie.” He whimpered as we pulled out of the parking lot and started the five minute drive back to the Way’s house.
“I know Ray, I understand. He’ll be okay, I promise.” I told him, though I kept my eyes firmly on the road in front of me.
“This must have been how you felt when Gerard was…you know, back in the bad days.” Ray said as a familiar pain pierced my heart with the memory of seeing Gerard so damn broken.
“Yeah, but it was probably worse because I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it and tell them how I felt. Apart from you, of course.” I said and Ray gave me a weak smile, pulling the sleeves of his Iron Maiden hoodie further over his wrists.
“We have to tell them about that, Ray, they need to know.” I said quietly and he sighed, rubbing his wrist subconsciously.
“I know.” He mumbled, looking out of the window as the rest of the car ride remained silent.
The walk up the drive and to the door seemed like we were walking to our death, slow and daunting, regret weighing down every single step that Ray seemed to struggle to take.
“Ready?” I asked him as my hand rested on the door knob.
He sucked in a deep breath and nodded his reply as I pushed open the door, walking with him to the kitchen where Bob’s heart wrenching sobs could be heard, along with Mikey, Brian and Gerard’s soothing words.
“H-Hey.” Ray said quietly, staying in the doorway as we entered the kitchen where Bob was curled up in the corner on the floor, rocking himself back and forth with his knees pulled up to his chest.
“I-I’m so, so sorry Bob, really, this is all my fault.” Ray cried, his voice breaking as he almost staggered to Bob, dropping down to his knees in front of him. Bob showed no sign of even recognising that Ray was there as the other three men surrounding the broken human wreckage backed up slightly.
“Bob?” Ray asked, reaching out shakily and touching his arm, making the shuddering man jump and snap his head up. Tears stained Bob’s face and sorrow swarmed his icy blue eyes as he rocked back and forth still, shaking erratically.
“I am so sorry Bob, this was my entire fault, please forgive me, I’m so sorry.” He sobbed, his voice hoarse as the bigger man nodded, crawling into Ray’s arms and slinging his arms around his neck, crying into his chest as they sat on the floor.
“I forgive you, Ray, I should have noticed. I should have told you. I love you so much.” He cried, his voice higher than usual as he reached his hand up to stroke through Ray’s tangled corkscrew hair.
“I love you too.” Ray whispered as Bob pulled back slightly, their lips meeting and pressing together softly. No movement or tongues shoved in mouths, no moaning or clothes strewn across the floor. Just two people, very much in love, sharing a moment.
“Um, Bob, we need to talk.” Gerard said, sighing and plonking himself in a chair, his head in his hands.
“Why? What’s up?” He asked, eyeing Gerard suspiciously as I did too.
“I-um-I, well…” He started unsurely.
“Spit it out Gerard.” Bob said, his happy mood crashing and burning as he scowled, shoving Ray off him and standing right in front of Gerard, towering over him as he slumped in the seat.
“I- we- think you have bipolar.” Gerard whispered and if Bob was a cartoon the steam could have been seen billowing out of his ears as his fists clenched and his muscles tensed. I froze.
“I do not have damn bipolar, Gerard.” Bob spat through gritted teeth.
“Bob, can’t you se-“ Gerard was cut off as Bob’s hand connected with his face, sending him to the ground with a yelp.
“I don’t have bipolar. Understand?” He growled and stormed out of the room in a black mood, the door to the guest room slamming behind him.
“Are you okay, Gee?” I asked, as he got up, groaning, and spat a mouthful of blood into the sink.
“I’m fine. He’s not though.” Gerard said, pointing to Ray whose head was hung, his fingers dancing over the bandages that covered his self-inflicted wounds.
“Hey, Ray.” Mikey said, softly getting down beside Ray and wrapping his arms around the silent man.
“What are we going to do?” He whispered, his voice that of a scared child in a thunderstorm with no one to hold onto.
“We have to make him see sense.” Gerard said, lacing my fingers with his gently and giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“How exactly do we do that?” I asked, biting the skin around my lip ring nervously.
“I’m not sure, how did you get me to see sense when I was depressed and addicted?” Gerard asked as I winced slightly at the fact that he didn’t remember.
“Well, we sat you down and told you what was happening. Me and Mikey were crying so hard because you’d been pushing us away and hurting us. Just like Bob is doing to Ray. However, by now you’d snapped, you were already thinking that anyway, you just needed us to say the word and you knew what you had to do. We promised we’d be with you all through it and we were.” I said and he nodded, nibbling his lip.
“I remember that one night when you were going through the withdrawal, I woke up and heard you screaming, but when I went to check on you in the bunks, Frank was already there. You were just curled up into him as he fell asleep too.” Mikey said and me and Gerard blushed, looking down as I remembered that night perfectly.
“We need Bob to snap out of this, before he hurts someone too much.” Ray said as he stood up, walking out of the room and up the stairs to check on Bob. This thing could end only one of two ways.
Sorry that it took so so long for me to update, but please be the amazing people you are and rate and review XD
Jackie
xxx
“I just felt empty.” He replied and I looked up at him, my expression quizzical.
“I don’t understand.” I said softly and he sighed, his shoulders slumping.
“I-I… I think Bob has bipolar.” He confessed and I gasped, truly shocked as to why he would think that.
“What?” I asked and Ray hung his head.
“I just, well…he’ll have months and months when he’s really depressed and he sleeps loads, then he’ll have this big mood swing and he’ll be all hyper and can’t sleep and talks really fast for a few days or weeks or months and then it’s back again to the depression. I tried to talk to him about it but he just got angry with me and we fought, he’d hurt me sometimes, even rape me. But when he snapped out of it he was more afraid than I was.” Ray confessed, his head still hung and his voice quiet.
“Ray, it’s okay, really.” I said, enveloping him in a tight hug, “We’ll talk to him about it, yeah, together. All of us.” I promised.
“Can you take me back now please?” Ray asked and I nodded, taking his hand and leading him out of the apartment, the door locking automatically as we shut it behind us and made our way down the stairs.
“Before we ask Bob anything we need to tell the guys first and wait a few weeks, keep an eye on him like.” I said as we climbed into Gerard’s POS car.
“Okay, I’m just really worried about him Frankie.” He whimpered as we pulled out of the parking lot and started the five minute drive back to the Way’s house.
“I know Ray, I understand. He’ll be okay, I promise.” I told him, though I kept my eyes firmly on the road in front of me.
“This must have been how you felt when Gerard was…you know, back in the bad days.” Ray said as a familiar pain pierced my heart with the memory of seeing Gerard so damn broken.
“Yeah, but it was probably worse because I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it and tell them how I felt. Apart from you, of course.” I said and Ray gave me a weak smile, pulling the sleeves of his Iron Maiden hoodie further over his wrists.
“We have to tell them about that, Ray, they need to know.” I said quietly and he sighed, rubbing his wrist subconsciously.
“I know.” He mumbled, looking out of the window as the rest of the car ride remained silent.
The walk up the drive and to the door seemed like we were walking to our death, slow and daunting, regret weighing down every single step that Ray seemed to struggle to take.
“Ready?” I asked him as my hand rested on the door knob.
He sucked in a deep breath and nodded his reply as I pushed open the door, walking with him to the kitchen where Bob’s heart wrenching sobs could be heard, along with Mikey, Brian and Gerard’s soothing words.
“H-Hey.” Ray said quietly, staying in the doorway as we entered the kitchen where Bob was curled up in the corner on the floor, rocking himself back and forth with his knees pulled up to his chest.
“I-I’m so, so sorry Bob, really, this is all my fault.” Ray cried, his voice breaking as he almost staggered to Bob, dropping down to his knees in front of him. Bob showed no sign of even recognising that Ray was there as the other three men surrounding the broken human wreckage backed up slightly.
“Bob?” Ray asked, reaching out shakily and touching his arm, making the shuddering man jump and snap his head up. Tears stained Bob’s face and sorrow swarmed his icy blue eyes as he rocked back and forth still, shaking erratically.
“I am so sorry Bob, this was my entire fault, please forgive me, I’m so sorry.” He sobbed, his voice hoarse as the bigger man nodded, crawling into Ray’s arms and slinging his arms around his neck, crying into his chest as they sat on the floor.
“I forgive you, Ray, I should have noticed. I should have told you. I love you so much.” He cried, his voice higher than usual as he reached his hand up to stroke through Ray’s tangled corkscrew hair.
“I love you too.” Ray whispered as Bob pulled back slightly, their lips meeting and pressing together softly. No movement or tongues shoved in mouths, no moaning or clothes strewn across the floor. Just two people, very much in love, sharing a moment.
“Um, Bob, we need to talk.” Gerard said, sighing and plonking himself in a chair, his head in his hands.
“Why? What’s up?” He asked, eyeing Gerard suspiciously as I did too.
“I-um-I, well…” He started unsurely.
“Spit it out Gerard.” Bob said, his happy mood crashing and burning as he scowled, shoving Ray off him and standing right in front of Gerard, towering over him as he slumped in the seat.
“I- we- think you have bipolar.” Gerard whispered and if Bob was a cartoon the steam could have been seen billowing out of his ears as his fists clenched and his muscles tensed. I froze.
“I do not have damn bipolar, Gerard.” Bob spat through gritted teeth.
“Bob, can’t you se-“ Gerard was cut off as Bob’s hand connected with his face, sending him to the ground with a yelp.
“I don’t have bipolar. Understand?” He growled and stormed out of the room in a black mood, the door to the guest room slamming behind him.
“Are you okay, Gee?” I asked, as he got up, groaning, and spat a mouthful of blood into the sink.
“I’m fine. He’s not though.” Gerard said, pointing to Ray whose head was hung, his fingers dancing over the bandages that covered his self-inflicted wounds.
“Hey, Ray.” Mikey said, softly getting down beside Ray and wrapping his arms around the silent man.
“What are we going to do?” He whispered, his voice that of a scared child in a thunderstorm with no one to hold onto.
“We have to make him see sense.” Gerard said, lacing my fingers with his gently and giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“How exactly do we do that?” I asked, biting the skin around my lip ring nervously.
“I’m not sure, how did you get me to see sense when I was depressed and addicted?” Gerard asked as I winced slightly at the fact that he didn’t remember.
“Well, we sat you down and told you what was happening. Me and Mikey were crying so hard because you’d been pushing us away and hurting us. Just like Bob is doing to Ray. However, by now you’d snapped, you were already thinking that anyway, you just needed us to say the word and you knew what you had to do. We promised we’d be with you all through it and we were.” I said and he nodded, nibbling his lip.
“I remember that one night when you were going through the withdrawal, I woke up and heard you screaming, but when I went to check on you in the bunks, Frank was already there. You were just curled up into him as he fell asleep too.” Mikey said and me and Gerard blushed, looking down as I remembered that night perfectly.
“We need Bob to snap out of this, before he hurts someone too much.” Ray said as he stood up, walking out of the room and up the stairs to check on Bob. This thing could end only one of two ways.
Sorry that it took so so long for me to update, but please be the amazing people you are and rate and review XD
Jackie
xxx
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