Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Gene-Spliced Harry

Chapter 9

by Cypher3au 9 reviews

Alternate Order of the Phoenix. Harry is, quite naturally, a little ticked off at his friends and the Headmaster. Muggle science has developed a way to splice animal DNA into humans. Fawkes has ...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Sci-fi - Characters: Harry, Hermione, Padma, Parvati - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-05-26 - Updated: 2006-05-26 - 3583 words


Harry stared. "Those are the creepiest damn horses I have ever seen."

The Patil twins didn't see anything, horse or otherwise, where Harry was looking; in front of the carriages that ferried the older students from the train station to the school. They glanced at each other worriedly, before Parvati spoke up for the pair. "What's so creepy about them?"

The winged wizard waved his hand at the two ebony-skinned beasts. "Look at 'em! All skin and bones, solid white eyes, and dragon wings... they look like something the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would ride!"

Padma gasped softly. "Thestrals!" Seeing the looks the two Gryffindors were sending her way, Padma elaborated. "I read about them when I looked up the winged horses pulling the Beauxbatons carriage last year. They're invisible to anyone who hasn't..." She fidgeted, nervous. ", seen death."

In the awkward silence, Harry cleared his throat. "Well, they look like they're getting impatient, so all aboard!" He stepped forward and opened the door for the two ladies, offering a hand to help them into the carriage.

The Indian beauties accepted the helping hand with quiet 'thank you's, and Harry hopped in after them, closing the door and, with a bit of fussing to get his wings comfortable, he sat across from them.

Parvati spoke up approvingly. "That was very gentlemanly of you, Harry. Did you have lessons over the holidays?"

Recognising the mild, yet much-deserved roasting for what it was, Harry winced a bit, then nodded. "I was given a few pointers, but mostly I just grew up. I was an immature child last year, and so was Ron, but that doesn't excuse the fact that we were horrible dates for you during the Yule Ball." The Patil's just stared at him silently, so he continued. "I had a date with a very beautiful woman, but I blew it because I was too busy mooning over a girl who clearly wasn't interested. I can't speak for Ron, but I'm incredibly sorry, and if there's anything I can do to make it up to the two of you, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask."

Padma drew her wand from her robe pocket. "Could you excuse us for a minute, Harry?"


The Ravenclaw waved her wand around her head, then her sister's, before the two started up a conversation that was completely unheard by the male Gryffindor. After about a minute of chatting and furtive glances towards the spliced teen, the two witches nodded decisively, and Padma dropped the spell she'd cast. "We'll forgive you-"

Parvati finished. "-but you have to make up for the ruined ball, by taking us out on a date."

Harry arched an eyebrow at the twins. "Padma too?"

The twins rolled their eyes. "Do you honestly think Ron will walk up to us and apologise like you have?"

Grimacing, Harry shook his head. "No, that doesn't sound like something he'd do on his own." He thought it over for a second, then nodded. "Alright then; first Hogsmeade weekend, I'll take Parvati out on a date, and the second Hogsmeade weekend will be Padma's turn. How does that sound?"

The identical duo grinned and spoke at the same time. "Perfect!" Deal made, the two witches stood from their seats and sat back down on either side of Harry, who had to stretch his wings out a bit more to avoid having them uncomfortably squashed by nicely-curved backsides. Padma stroked the feathers of his left wing curiously, giggling as the wings twitched in response and curled around the girls. "An interesting choice of colours. What kind of bird did these come from?"

Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "The Doctor didn't say."

"They certainly suit you, though, especially with these new clothes." Parvati casually ran her hand over the dark red cloth of Harry's waistcoat. "Wow, these are nice, Harry! Hey Pad, what do you think this vest is made out of? Silk?"

Padma followed her sister's cue, running her hand thoughtfully over Harry's upper body. Her voice was almost a purr when she answered. "You're right, this does feel like silk. Very nice." Glancing down curiously, Padma's hand slid down Harry's body. "What do you think Harry's pants are made out of?"

As two slender hands began stroking his inner thighs, Harry's eyebrows rose to his hairline.

Waiting impatiently in the entrance hall, Hermione immediately spotted the difference in Harry's appearance as he casually ambled up to her. "Harry, your vest is buttoned up wrong."


Hermione frowned, trying to ignore the broad grin that seemed to be a now permanent fixture on Harry's face. "You've got the buttons in the wrong holes. Here, let me..." Working efficiently, the muggleborn undid Harry's vest, then redid the fastenings in the correct fashion. Her work completed, Hermione grabbed Harry's robe from where she'd hung it over the arms of a helpful suit of armor and handed it to the grinning loon. "You should put this back on, before a teacher gives you a detention."

Still smiling, but no longer staring into space or showing off his molars, Harry threw the robe on and buttoned it up, with a little help from Hermione to get the ones on his back.

Stepping back, Hermione flicked her wand and smoothed out the creases in her best friend's clothes, then adjusted the Prefect badge by hand. "There, now come on before we're late!"

They hurried into the Great Hall with the last of the other students and made their way to the Gryffindor table, where Ron and Neville had saved them some seats near the middle. Ron looked up from where he was staring woefully at his empty plate. "What took you guys so long?"

"Harry took his time getting to the entrance hall." The bushy-haired Prefect glanced down the table where Parvati and Lavender were giggling and sneaking glances at Harry. Looking over to the Ravenclaw table, she spotted Padma tying her long, inky black hair back into it's usual braid, smiling cheekily at Harry's back all the while. "I take it your apology was accepted, then?"

"Hell yes!"

Ron frowned, glancing between his two best friends. "What apology?"

Narrowing her eyes at the lanky teen, Haermione answered the question. "The apology to Padma and Parvati for the way you two treated them during the Yule Ball."

"Hey, THEY left US halfway through the night!"

Hermione stared at the redhead incredulously. "Because the two of you were acting like prats, Ronald!"

The banging open of the vast doors at the end of the hall cut off any further argument, and Professor McGonagall led a line of terrified firsties between the two central tables and into a group at the front of the hall. Harry spotted one nervous little blonde girl in particular, whose cat-like ears and tail were twitching agitatedly. "That's just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. In fact, she kinda reminds of you back in our second year, Hermione."

Shushing him hastily, Hermione turned back to the front of the room with rosy cheeks as McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on the stool and stood back.

A wide rip in the hat opened, and its rough voice began to sing...

In times of old, when I was new,
And Hogwarts barely started,
The founders of our noble school
Thought never to be parted.

United by a common goal,
They had the selfsame yearning
To make the world's best magic school
And pass along their learning.

"Together we will build and teach"
The four good friends decided.
And never did they dream that they
Might some day be divided.

For were there such friends anywhere
As Slytherin and Gryffindor?
Unless it was the second pair
Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,
So how could it have gone so wrong?
How could such friendships fail?
Why, I was there, so I can tell
The whole sad, sorry tale.

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those Whose ancestry's purest."
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose Intelligence is surest"
Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those With brave deeds to their name."
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot And treat them just the same."

These differences caused little strife When first they came to light.
For each of the four founders had A house in which they might
Take only those they wanted, so,
For instance, Slytherin
Took only pure-blood wizards
Of great cunning just like him.

And only those of sharpest mind Were taught by Ravenclaw.
While the bravest and the boldest Went to daring Gryffindor.
Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest and taught them all she knew,
Thus, the houses and their founders Maintained friendships firm and true.

So Hogwarts worked in harmony
for several happy years,
but then discord crept among us
feeding on our faults and fears.

The Houses that, like pillars four
had once held up our school
now turned upon each other and
divided, sought to rule.

And for a while it seemed the school
must meet an early end.
what with dueling and with fighting
and the clash of friend on friend.

And at last there came a morning
when old Slytherin departed
and though the fighting then died out
he left us quite downhearted.

And never since the founders four
were whittled down to three
have the Houses been united
as they once were meant to be.

And now the Sorting Hat is here
and you all know the score:
I sort you into Houses
because that is what I'm for.
But this year I'll go further,
listen closely to my song:

though condemned I am to split you
still I worry that it's wrong,
though I must fulfill my duty
and must quarter every year
still I wonder whether sorting
may not bring the end I fear.

Oh, know the perils, read the signs,
the warning history shows,
for our Hogwarts is in danger
from external, deadly foes
and we must unite inside her
or we'll crumble from within
I have told you, I have warned you...

Let the Sorting now begin.

There was scattered applause as whispering and muttering broke out throughout the hall. The somewhat goofy smile had been wiped off of Harry's face, and he stared at the Sorting Hat thoughtfully. Curiously, it almost looked as if the folds and shadows making up the hat's 'eyes' were staring straight back at the winged Gryffindor. "That wasn't disturbing at all. Nope, not one bit."

"I wonder if it's ever given warnings before?" Hermione was wringing her hands anxiously.

"As a matter of fact, it has." Nearly Headless Nick leaned forward seriously, phasing through Neville's body in places while he talked to Hermione. "The Hat feels honor-bound to give warning to the school at large whenever serious trouble starts to brew on the horizon...ah, it looks like Minerva want to begin sorting." Leaning out of a relieved Longbottom, Nick sat back in the air and faced the front of the hall.

With one last sweeping glare to the four house tables, Professor McGonagall unrolled the list of names and read out the first; "Abercrombie, Euan."

A terrified child, who'd most likely been nicknamed 'wing-nut' on account of his prominent ears, sat himself on the stool and cringed as the Hat was lowered onto his head.

The Sorting Hat 'hmm'ed in thought for a moment, before the rip opened up and bellowed- "Gryffindor!" -to the Great Hall. The shivering child almost ran, on unsteady legs, to the Gryffindor table accompanied by enthusiastic applause.

The rest of the sorting was pretty standard. The little catgirl, Jennifer Houston, was sorted into Hufflepuff, and Harry made a note to keep an eye out for her and introduce himself. Eventually, Rose Zeller was sorted into Hufflepuff, and McGonagall carried the stool and Sorting Hat out of the room.

Dumbledore stood, eyes twinkling and arms outstretched as if embracing the whole room. "To our newcomers, welcome! To our old hands, welcome back! There is a time for speech-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

Though there was much applause at this decleration, nobody was more grateful than Ron, who bore an expression of almost animalistic glee as he piled chops and roast potatos onto his plate. Harry took a couple of chops himself, though not with Ron's enthusiasm, before adding a couple of sausages and a pile of salad, then tucking in.

No longer distracted by the sorting, and eager to shift his attention away from Ron's gluttony, Nick turned to the other fifth years, Harry in particular. "Harry, I really must compliment on your rather impressive wings. How on Earth did you come by them?"

Harry shrugged, swallowing his mouthful before answering. "I had a muggle Doctor grow them onto my back. You don't think they're obscene or anything?"

Nick shook his head, said cranium wobbling dangerously as he did so. "Of course not! Why, I don't think I've seen anyone display their House colours so prominently since the time Fred and George changed the skin and hair colour of the entire Slytherin house to silver and green!"

Ron pulled his face out of his plate at the mention of his older brothers. "Won diff fat heppn?"

It took a second for Nick to translate the overstuffed mouth mumbling. "It would have been before your time; their first or second year, most likely."

Harry smirked. "Firsties from hell?"

The ghost shuddered in rememberence. "You have no idea."

Hermione took the opportunity to ask her own question. "What were you saying before the sortings, about the Hat giving warnings?"

"Hmm? Oh, over the centuries the Sorting Hat has warned the school on several occasions, whenever it felt that the school was at risk. It's message is always the same; there is strength in unity."

While Hermione and Nick discussed the Sorting Hat's warning, Harry looked to the Faculty table. Hagrid was missing, probably still off with the giants, and Snape was still 'missing', a fact that prompted a brief smirk from Harry. Grubbly-Plank had seated herself at the table after ferrying the first-years across the lake, and was clearly Hagrid's substitute. The other new faces, presumably filling the empty DADA and Potions positions, looked...interesting, to say the least.

The woman- if it could be called that -seated at Dumbledore's elbow was one of the most disturbing individuals he'd ever laid eyes on, with a pale, toad-like face and bulbous, pouchy eyes. Short, curly, mouse-brown hair was fitted with a pink bow matching the fluffy cardigan worn over her robes and squat little body. Everything about her seemed to ooze with a kind of wrongness that put Harry on edge every time he looked at her.

The new wizard, on the other hand, had a far more pleasant feel about him. A cheery smile was visible beneath his walrus-like mustache, and the candlelight in the Great Hall shone off of his bald head and the golden buttons on the waistcoat stretched over his large belly.

Shaking his head, Harry got back to eating, and in no time at all dessert had been polished off and the tables cleared. Everyone eagerly turned to the Headmaster as he stood, flipping his beard off of his shoulder and back into its customary position. "Now that we have all been so thoroughly stuffed with delicious food, it is time for the usual start-of-term notices. First years would do well to note that the Forbidden Forest is just that; forbidden. A fact that some of the older students would do well to remember. Also, our much-loved caretaker, Mr Filch, has asked me for the four-hundred-and-sixty-second time to remind you that magic is not permitted in the corridors between classes, along with a great many other things. For the full list, you can check the extensive list he has most graciously posted on his office door."

Dumbledore took a sip of water before continuing. "We have had a number of changes to the staff this year; three, to be precise. We are pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be filling Hagrid's very large shoes for the forseeable future, and Professor Slughorn, who will be filling the positions of both Potions teacher, and Head of Slytherin house. Lastly, but certainly not least, we have a new arrival; Professor Delores Umbridge is our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Though she has served the Ministry diligently over the years, this is her first foray into the world of teaching, so please, go easy on her!" Dumbledore waited for the scattered laughter to die down before continuing. "Tryouts for the house quidditch teams will take place on the..." He paused and glanced curiously at Delores Umbridge, and it took a second for Dumbledore to notice that the short witch had stood up, but it became painfully obvious after she cleared her throat that she was about to make a speech.

The Headmaster looked surprised for only a second, before sitting his boney old butt back down and watching the freaky little woman expectantly. The rest of the faculty were less indifferent; Sprout's eyebrows had disappeared beneath her fly-away hair, and McGonagall's mouth was as thin as anyone had ever seen it. Flitwick took off his glasses and polished them, before slipping them back on and eyeing the woman curiously, and Slughorn frowned deeply, stroking his large mustache thoughtfully.

"Thank you Headmaster, for your kind words of welcome. It is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say, and especially to see so many happy little faces looking up at me!"

Rather than clench his hands into fists, Harry slowly gripped the edge of the table. For some reason, the witch's breathy, high-pitched, girlish little voice made him want to walk up there and punch her pointed little teeth into the back of her throat. It wasn't that he hated her, exactly, but he had a powerful urge to silence her, stop her, drive her from the school before she could...something.

"I'm very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll all be very good friends!"

Umbridge's voice faded from Harry's mind as he stared up at her. His hands itched. His wings itched. His eyes itched. His wand seemed to be burning a hole in his pocket. As her mouth kept moving, on and on, phoenix song was all Harry heard.

She couldn't stay.


She had to go.


The phoenix man jumped, finally coming back to reality, and noticed that everyone else was leaving or had left the Great Hall. Hermione was staring at him, concerned. "Are you alright?"

Harry nodded quickly, though he wasn't entirely sure. "Yeah. Fine. Great!" He hoped she bought it.

She wasn't buying it, but she nodded slowly. "Well, we need to lead the first years up to the tower. Are you up for it?"

Harry got to his feet, ignoring the slightly-smoking handprints he'd left on the table surface. "Sure. How about you lead, and I'll follow behind to make sure we don't lose anyone?"

Hermione seemed to think this was a sensible idea, and nodded. "Alright. First years! First year Gryffindors over here, please!" At Hermione's command, a group of tiny individuals emerged from the bustling crowd and made their way to her, all of them seemingly trying very hard to avoid being the first in line. Once they were close enough, Hermione introduced herself and Harry. "Hello everyone! I'm one of the fifth-year Prefects for Gryffindor, Hermione Granger, and the gentleman with the red and gold wings is the other fifth-year Prefect, Harry Potter. Today it is our duty to show you the way to the Gryffindor Dorms, your home away from home for the next seven years. Please keep in mind that you can come to us or the older Prefects any time you need help, if you have a question, or just if you need someone to talk to." She glanced pointedly at Harry, indicating that he should say something.

He wracked his brain for something to say, something that would help the firsties and stick with them for the remainder of their school lives. "...the single most important thing you should know before entering Gryffindor Tower is this; never eat anything the Weasley twins give you or have left lying around." Harry grabbed Neville around the shoulders before he could run and pointed to him cheerfully. "My good friend Neville here has, on occasion, been turned into a giant canary, had his skin turned orange, and been shrunk to the size of a garden gnome, among many other things, all as a result of casting aside this most elementary rule of magic."

Most of the first years relaxed and lost their fear somewhat, giggling as Neville turned an embarassed shade of red as a result of the attention he was getting.

Hermione buried her face in her hands. "...thank you, Harry."

Harry shook his head seriously. "Oh no, don't thank me; thank Neville. For taking the pranks like a man, for diving into harm's way so that others could escape unscathed, Neville Longbottom... I salute you!"

The terribly flustered, yet somewhat amused and flattered plant-lover chuckled anxiously. "Harry, could you please let go of me?"

There you go, Chapter 9. I'm willing to hear any suggestions and/or request people might have.

That doesn't mean I'll do what all such suggestions or requests say, but it'll give me ideas for the future.

Sign up to rate and review this story