FicWad

Just one of Lorna's world famous author's notes.
Katherine.


Yes,so...hello.
So,I know what you're gonna say:
"Lauren,what the FUCK.I came here to read a fucking intellectual,fucking interesting story and what the fuck do I get?
Your fucking mind vomit.Thanks,you stupid fat fuck."
I bet you think I'm a mind reader.
So,to you people who I just refereed to-minus the cursing(maybe,MCR fans can get angry)-I'm sorry,but this is just my nature.If author's notes piss you off,just don't read em.

So,aaaaaaanyhoo;



1.I will try and get up the first chapter tonight,even though I'm meant to be studying for my exam in cello (cellists FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD) I'm sure my examiner will accept this as an excuse:
"Yeah,sorry about the whole "not knowing any of my pieces thing" but I kinda write on this fan fiction site,FicWad,you heard of it?And so I've just finished this story,and it got five-which isn't fecking easy,y'know-and so I'm moving onto this other one,about homoerotic desire between two men I admire from a band I like during war torn Cambodia in the 1970's.
But yeah,this is Minuet in G Minor."
Yeah,I'm sure she'll accept that.As well as:
"Like what you've done with the girl-tash,by the way.Didn't know people still had them nowadays,but you've managed to be old-fashioned without being gaudy."



2.Lauren's Song of the Day:"On Call" by Kings of Leon.
In the oh-so-elegant words of my friend Maria-my friend,not my sister,I am not that sad as to be friends with my sister-"rock dat shit,man."


3.Today,Maria also went up to this chav who lives next to me and said:
"If you do not stop harassing me in Calculus,I will be forced to use my crazy mathematical skills to advert your attention and challenge you to a physical duel."
Them's fightin words,right there.


4.AAAHH HOLY SHIT MY CAT JUST FUCKING BIT ME


5.My friend just texted me wondering why I'm not texting her back and I'm like:
"becuz i am currentleh writin my way towrdz enlitenmnt and writerz on their way 2 enlitenmnt dont waste thir time txtin loosers lyk you"
I'm just such a nice person.

6.HOLYY FUCKING FUCK THAT CAT BITE FUCKING HURT


7.She texted back:
"are u on lsd?"
Well!I know who's not getting to bandage my cat wound.
Or would that be a good thing?Hmmm....
Fuck it,I'm awesome,therefore my cat bite is awesome.
Love me,love my (steadily swelling) cat bite,bitchez.


8.And because I am so bored:

1.What is your best friend's mom's name?
Vida.Ain't that fucking awesome?You could sing along with Coldplay and just be like
"Yep.Back in the day me and Chris Martin"-crosses index and middle fingers-"we was like that."


2.Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?
Um,only weird people have moles.
Joke,joke.I have one near my left eye.Well,people call it a "beauty spot" but I'm just like "face the truth,man."


3.Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
My Irish teacher when I was 16.He was annoying but My God...everytime he said
"IS FUATH LIOM AN DOAIN ANGUS GACH RUD ATA INSTEACH I!"
("I HATE THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING INSIDE IT!")
...I would swoon.


4.Have you ever made out in a movie theatre?
No way,it pisses me off when people do that.Go stick your popcorn-covered tongue down your botch's throat when we're not watching The Hangover,bub.


5.What part of your body do you wash first?
Um...I think this is too awkward to make a joke out of.
Ah well,fuck it!
I wash my hair,you pervs.


6.Do you hover over the toilets in public restrooms?
I'm not a guy,so...no.


7.What's the strangest talent you have?
I'm double-jointed...I can do craaaaazy shit.


8.Whats your favourite flavoured Pringles?
Uh,I can't remember what exact flavour it is,but it's like a Chinese one.Like spring roll or something.I had it when I was like seven and fucking spazed.


9.Have you ever been tied up?Jesus,this quiz is a bit sexual,isn't it?
And no,I haven't.


10.Why were you last grounded?
My dad doesn't ground me,because he doesn't think it's fair or something.But about a month ago I got given out to really badly by my dad,he was really upset.I had started smoking again and he was just like "wtf Lorna..."






9.Okay,seriously,my hand has swollen to twice it's normal size.

typing really fucking hurts and oh my god dont you come near me you devil-feline,
xoxo L.