FicWad

The rest of the day, after the snow incident, was spent in the Way living room. Linda and Frank Iero were asked if they wanted to spend the night again, so everyone could be together for Frank's last night. Both members of the Iero family agreed and Frank once again spent the night in Gerard's arms.

When Gerard awoke the next morning, Frank was still sleeping. He turned to the clock on the nightstand and saw the red numbers alerting him that it was 9:30. Frank at to leave by noon. Sighing to himself, Gerard looked down at the small boy in his arms. Would this be the last time he got to watch his lover sleep? Would this be the last time that he would hear the soft, contented whimpers that escaped his boyfriend's lips?

Gerard swallowed. He was tired of thinking about this. He was tired of the uncertainty of what his life was going to be like. He was tired of thinking of his boyfriend's demise. Those thoughts haunted him all day and night. Sometimes he would dream of his small boyfriend, clad in his uniform, running around the dessert with a gun in his hand. Then as Frank ran around, trying to stay out of the view of the enemy, Gerard saw a whole flock of the enemy run and surround Frank. The last thing that Gerard heard before he woke up was his boyfriend yelling Gerard's name in pain.

How can a person live with dreams like that? How can a person stay sane with dreams like that?

Gerard, thankfully, had not had any dreams like that since Frank returned home. In fact, he didn't dream at all. He barely slept. He wanted to memorize the feeling of Frank in his arms. He wanted to remember the sounds Frank made as he shifted in his sleep. He wanted to be there when Frank had a nightmare about the terrorizing things he'd seen while fighting.

And that is was Gerard had to do this morning of Frank's departure. While Gerard was watching the younger man sleep in the bed, he noticed that Frank's perfectly shaped eyebrows would furrow and dent into each other. Gerard watched as Frank's arms tightened around the other man's waist and he made a small noise of discomfort. Gerard listened as the whimper turned into cries and Frank began to shift in the bed, getting as close to Gerard as humanly possible.

Gerard wasn't sure what to do. Should he wake up Frank? Would that startle him more? The answer was decided for him was Frank's eyes shot open as he yelled in fear, gripping Gerard's t-shirt tightly in his fists.

“Frank? Frank, baby. It's okay. You're home, baby.” Gerard said soothingly against Frank's head as he rubbed the other man's back.

Frank panted as he looked around the room, his eyes finally settling on Gerard's face. When he saw Gerard his face relaxed and he let go of Gerard's shirt. As his eyes traveled back down to Gerard's clothed chest, Frank took a deep breath letting his eyes slip shut, trying to regain himself. After a moment or so, Frank sat up in the bed and reached over to grab his cell phone, checking his message. Frank knew that he would have no messages but he needed to do something, anything, so that he didn't have to talk about what just happened.

After placing the phone back on the table, Frank checked the clock, before turning back to Gerard. “I need to take a shower soon.” He spoke quietly, his voice hoarse due to sleep. Well, mostly.

Gerard nodded and watched Frank curiously, “Okay.” But Frank made no motion to move off the bed so he sat up in the bed, wrapping his arm gently around Frank's waist. “Everything okay, Frankie?”

Frank turned his head to look at Gerard and he nodded quickly. “Yeah, of course, Gee. I mean, I don't want to go back today, but I'm fine.” He spoke a little to quickly.

The two men stayed quiet and still for a few moments. Gerard was waiting for Frank to talk or go take a shower and Frank was waiting for a miracle. Neither one happened, though.

“Frankie, what was your dream about?” Gerard asked cautiously, stroking the younger man's lean side.

Frank was silent. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to tell Gerard. He couldn't. The horrible things that Frank has seen should not be told to innocent ears. His only option was to lie.

“Dream? Huh, I don't remember having a dream. Why was I talking in my sleep again?” Frank laughed halfheartedly. “You know, one of the guys that I bunk with always makes fun of me because I mumble in my sleep. When I was training, I used to keep up my entire bunk house.” He laughed once more. “They hated me.”

Gerard watched as Frank spoke quickly. His boyfriend was denying it happened. Why? Couldn't they always talk about everything? Didn't Frank know that he was always there for him? Didn't he understand that no matter what Frank had to do, he'd still love him? It wasn't fair for Frank to be treating him like he was a stupid child. Just because he wasn't in the war, doesn't mean he doesn't know what goes on over there.

But in honor of it being Frank's last day home, Gerard let it go. “That's really funny, Frank.” Gerard smiled lightly. “Why don't you shower? I'm going to go make some coffee.” He said and before Frank could respond, Gerard was already off the bed, walking up the stairs that lead him out of his bedroom.

Frank sat on the bed, flabbergasted. Did that really just happen? Was Gerard annoyed at him? Didn't Gerard understand that he didn't want his boyfriend to know about the things that he saw? Didn't Gerard understand that what the news reported and what was actually going on were two different things? Didn't Gerard understand that Frank had seen men, women, and children tortured and killed? Didn't Gerard understand that he had to do some of the torturing and killing? He obviously didn't.

So Frank, being trained at keeping his emotions intact, got off the bed, made his way into the bathroom, showered, got dressed in his uniform and made his way upstairs to join the rest of the house. The morning was spent with cordial conversation, food, and coffee. Nobody wanted to talk about the inevitable.

When twelve o'clock hit and Frank got a call from the car service, assuring that Frank still needed a ride to the airport and after he said that he did, the driver said he would be there in twenty minutes, the whole room went stiff. Linda already had tears forming in her eyes. He didn't want anybody to be at the airport. That would be too hard.

So after packing up all of his things, and bringing his bags to the front door, Frank only had five minutes left and he still needed to say his goodbyes. So he started with Mikey. Mikey hugged him tight and told him to be safe. Then he moved on to Donna, kissing her cheek and thanking her for everything. She, too, told him to be safe and made sure that he came back in one piece. He made his way to his mother and he held her tight as she cried. He rubbed her back and kissed her cheek telling her it would be okay, that he'd come back. He even made a joke about not being able to miss some concert that was coming in a few months. Which everyone in the room knew, he'd be missing anyway. This time Frank would be away for at least a year.

As he left his mother's arms, he heard a car horn outside, alerting him that his driver was here. Mikey kindly said that he would go outside and bring out Frank's bags and the two mothers followed to give Frank and Gerard a moment alone. Frank walked to Gerard and saw the tears in his boyfriend's eyes.
Sighing sadly to himself, he took Gerard's face in his hands and stroked the tears away.

“It's okay, Gee. I'll see you soon.” Frank said reassuringly. Gerard just nodded and let his hands rest gently on Frank's hips.

“I know..” Gerard spoke gently and Frank leaned in to kiss Gerard's lips gently. Gerard kissed back gently, not adding the emotion that he normally did. When Frank pulled away he looked into Gerard's eyes for a moment before he stepped back.

“I, uh, I love you, Gerard.” He responded softly, quite confused with his boyfriend's behavior.

“Love you.” Gerard mumbled and squeezed Frank's hips before he let his hands drop and he turned away from the solider in front of him, making his way back down to his room. Frank watched in bewilderment as Gerard disappeared from his view.

Swallowing his emotions once again, Frank pulled his hat over his buzzed hair and made his way out of the house, to the car that was awaiting him. After saying one last goodbye to everyone outside of the house (everyone except his boyfriend) he got into the car and was now hidden behind the tinted windows. He let his head dip down to his chest and bit his bottom lip as the tears escaped from his lids.

Frank could already feel the relationship between him and Gerard crumpling but Frank couldn't understand why. Did Gerard piece together that he was a monster? That he was no longer worthy of Gerard's affection? Would this break from each other, while Frank was fighting, cause the love that Gerard felt for Frank to lessen? And if it did, did Frank really have a reason to fight as hard as he did overseas?

These questions swarmed Frank's brain as he was taken away from his family to fight. To kill.