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Gerard and Frank didn't get caught by Linda that night. They didn't even get caught the next time Gerard was over Frank's house. In fact, it's been three months since they've been together and Linda still has yet to find out. Frank and Gerard are really proud of themselves. And in a way it made everything more special. Like the times that they get to spend together mean more because they need to be carefully planned out.

And it wasn't that they didn't want her to find out. It wasn't that they were going completely out of their way to make sure that they wouldn't get caught. It just happened, but it was easier this way. If she didn't know, she couldn't say anything about it.

Linda had very conservative views on relationships and young love. It was probably because of Frank's asshole father that she felt this way, but she was always a bit wary when it came to Frank bringing home girls. Or guys for that matter really. For Linda, it was a bit of a relief when Frank came home after his first semester in college and told her he way gay. Well, maybe relief wasn't the right word, but she was happy that Frank would never sit her down one day and tell her that he knocked up some girl.

That was her biggest fear. For her son to have to struggle the way she did. When Frank dated Leslie in high school, Linda was so scared that one day he'd sit her down and tell her that she would be a grandma. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was also scared that Frank would turn into his father and abandon the poor girl.

So yes, when Frank announced that he was gay, Linda felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. It sounded stupid and she would never say it out loud, but it was true.

But the fact that Frank was gay could not, unfortunately, save him from heartache. And that was something that Linda knew way too much about. She had loved Frank's father. She had loved him with all of her young heart. She had their life mapped out. They would graduate college, Frank's father graduating two years before her, get well paying jobs, get married, buy a house, travel some, and then settle down and start a family. Linda thought it was going to be perfect. She thought it was going to be the story book romance that every little girl dreamed about. And it was, until she got pregnant.

Up until she had gotten pregnant, the couple was picture perfect. They were they couple you saw on the street and got jealous about. The couple that you wanted to be apart of because you saw the way the man looked at the woman and how the woman adored the man. It was the couple that you thought would last forever.

It didn't. Obviously. Frank's father turned into a bit of an entitled jerk after the news of the pregnancy hit him. He only thought of himself. He only thought about how having a child was going to change his dreams and his plans. So he bailed, completely forgetting about the woman he once loved. The woman who loved him. The woman who was left heartbroken and pregnant.

She mourned for a couple of weeks. Mourned for the loss of her love. Mourned for her unborn child and the fact that he'll never know his father. But then she got over it. She sucked it up, like the strong, independent woman that she was, and she kept on living.

She wished everyday, though, that he love didn't leave her. That she wasn't lonely and struggling. And that's why she wanted Frank to more established when he found love. It was irrational, thinking that she could control when her son fell in love, but she just wanted him to be happy. She didn't want him to ever feel the heartache that she did. And Frank knew that. He knew what his mother felt, the loneliness that spread through the house.

But he also couldn't help but want to feel the love that she once felt. The love that could possibly be forming between him and Gerard, and that's why he chose to keep it a secret.



Frank and Gerard walked into Frank's house after an early movie at the theater. Frank was going on about how the character was not believable and if she wasn't so stupid she would have never turned into a fucking zombie. Gerard just laughed along, agreeing with Frank's small rant about the brainless plot.

When they entered the house, Frank immediately led Gerard to the living room. They sat down wordlessly, their thighs brushing as Frank leaned forward, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV for background noise. When the smaller man sat back up he was greeted with a small kiss to the back of his shoulder. Frank smiled softly and sat up a bit more, turning his head to face Gerard. As his hand slipped to Gerard's knee, he felt the older man's lips on his. They had come far since their first kiss. Gerard was still nervous, but it wasn't because he was afraid of rejection. No, Frank had assured Gerard that he wanted everything from Gerard. He was just nervous about it being too fast. Frank had disclosed that he was still a virgin, well a bottomed virgin.

As the two mens lips moved slowly against the others, they shifted closer. Gerard had curled one leg onto the couch, wrapping his arm completely around Frank's waist as he pulled the younger man close. Frank was now at a slightly awkward angle, feet flat on the ground and torso twisted toward his lover, but he didn't care because he had those lips, kissing him.

Frank had joked one time that Gerard's lips were magical. They were sitting in Frank's car, parked on some dark dead end street, and they were kissing. Frank had, grudgingly, pulled away from the kiss gasping for breath as he whispered, 'Fuck, Gee. Your lips. Those fucking lips....' He shook his head and licked his lips hungrily as he fisted Gerard's t-shirt, 'Magical. Fuckin' magical.' When Gerard asked why, Frank just shook his head again and attached his plump lips back to Gerard's, silencing him.

To this day, Gerard still didn't know what made his lips magical, he wasn't complaining though.

As Frank and Gerard began to get more and more heated in their kiss, Frank began to get more uncomfortable. To rectify the situation, Frank nipped at Gerard's bottom lip before he pushed the older man onto his back. Gerard laughed as he descended onto his back and pulled Frank down on top of him by the cloth of his shirt.

Frank giggled and placed himself between Gerard's parted legs, “Hello there.”

“Hi,” Gerard smiled dazedly up at Frank. His eyes kept going back and forth between Frank's eyes and his red swollen lips.

“You're a perv.” Frank whispered as he settled himself on Gerard's chest. He was careful not to put too much weight on his boyfriend.

Gerard laughed and titled his head forward so he could once again attach his lips to Franks. There was something about Frank that just made Gerard want to be constantly touching him or kissing him or holding him. It wasn't a sexual, disgusting thing. It was more of a romantic, beautiful thing.

They continued to kiss while the TV played some teen drama. Their lips and tongues moved sloppily against one and another. When either of them were feeling playful, they'd take the others lip in their mouth and bit it gently, it drove both men crazy.

When the urgency of making out left the two, they pulled their lips apart and turned to the TV. They silently let the fictional world take over their minds, while they stayed close to each other. There was the occasional kiss of course, but they were content with just sitting and watching TV together.

As the rolling credits of the show played, Frank turned to Gerard, resting his chin gently on the other mans chest, and nudged him gently with his hand.

“Hey, Gee?”

Gerard turned his head away from the TV, looking into Frank's beautiful eyes, “Yeah?”

“I want to make love to you.” He whispered, slightly ashamed to just be blurting this out. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. Frank had been thinking about this for a while. He knew he wanted his first time with a guy to be with Gerard, and he knew he wanted it to be soon.

“Now?” Gerard questioned, furrowing his eyebrows. This was sudden.

“No, no.” Frank shook his head and sighed softly. This was hard to say and he was getting more and more embarrassed as the seconds passed. “I just know I want to. It doesn't have to be tonight or tomorrow or the next day. It doesn't even have to be for a month, although that would fucking suck to wait a whole goddamn month for that, but I want it to be with you.”

“And you're sure?” Gerard asked, letting his hand roam slowly up and down Frank's back.

“Yeah! I mean, you're amazing, you really are, and I just...I know I want it to be with you. I mean you want to, too, right?” Frank swallowed, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at Gerard.

“I do. I really do. I just want to make sure you're ready. This is a big step, Frankie.”

“I know that, Gee. I do. But it's right with you, y'know? Like, this is all so great and every other aspect of this is perfect, so why not try that, right?” He sighed and looked down at Gerard's clothed chest. “I'm not making any sense, huh?”

“No, baby, you're fine. If you're ready for this, we'll do it. Alright?” Gerard lifted his hand from Frank's back and cuffed Frank's cheek gently. Then he gently tilted Frank's head so he could look into his eyes. The words 'I love you' were right on his lips.

Frank nodded and a slow smile started to form on his lips. “Alright.”

“Let's start off slow though, yeah? We don't have to jump right into anything. I’m not going anywhere.” Gerard said honestly, looking at Frank.

Frank just nodded, his eyes set on Gerard's.

There was a few moments of silence as Gerard stroked Frank's cheek and they just looked at each other. They were both thinking of the possibilities that were ahead of them. They weren't going anywhere.

“Should we do it all romantic? Like with candles and soft music?” Gerard joked, his deep voice breaking the silence, while his thumb was still stroking Frank's cheekbone. Right now was not the moment to say those three words. Not with the promise of sex playing in the air.

Frank giggled and scrunched up his nose, “God, no.”

Gerard smiled and leaned forward, brushing his nose against Frank's, “Good, because I’m pretty sure if we did, we'd set fire to the bed.”

“Totally true.” Frank giggled and pressed his lips forward to kiss Gerard.

Gerard kissed back willingly, his lips capturing Frank's as he pressed closer to him. The kiss gradually deepened and soon Gerard and Frank's tongue meet each other in a slow and sloppy massage. Groans escape both mens lips as the feelings ignite. Gerard's hand slowly moved from Frank's cheek to Frank's back, pulling the man even closer. As their mouths continue to dance with each other, Gerard's hand continued its descend to Frank's ass and he squeezed it gently, making Frank groan once again.

Frank was just about to initiate some further contact between the two of them, when he heard the front door open and his mother's voice radiating through the house.

“Frankie, who's car is that in the driveway?” Linda Iero asked as she took off her coat putting it on the coat rack. Once it was securely in place, she turned around and saw her son climbing off of Gerard, her employee. “Frank, what are you doing?”

Once Frank got to his feet, he walked over to his mother, wiping his mouth free from any spit, “Mom, it wasn't anything bad, I swear.”

“Wasn't anything bad? Frank, what you are doing here with Gerard?” She asked, her hands on her hips, looking incredulously between the two men.

“Well, that' the thing, Ma, he's sorta my boyfriend.” Frank said hesitantly, looking back at Gerard who had gotten up from the couch and was now fixing his clothes,a deep blush painted on his face.

“He's your what?”

“My boyfriend.” Frank said softly, looking at his mother with wide, innocent eyes.

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, “No Frank, he's my employee.”

“What? Mom, no, come on. That doesn't matter.” Frank protested, taking a step back to Gerard and placing a gentle hand on Gerard's elbow.

“Yes, Frank, I think it does.” Linda spoke firmly her eyes locked with Frank's. After a few moments of intense staring between mother and son, Linda lifted her eyes to Gerard, “Gerard, I think you should leave.”

Gerard swallowed and nodded. He stepped around Frank and made his way out of the door, mumbling a good bye in his wake. Once Gerard was outside, he made his way swiftly to his car. He wanted to get as far away from the Iero house as possible. He was humiliated.

Gerard slipped into his car, turning it on, and sped his was out of the driveway. He shifted the car into drive quickly before slamming down on the gas, making his way home. What did this all mean? Would he and Frank be over? Would he be out of a job? If he kept his job would he lose Frank? And if he kept Frank would he lose his job?

These questions ran through Gerard's mind as he made his way back to his parents home. If he lost his job he'd never be able to get out of his parents house. There was no way he'd find another job, nobody was hiring. The only reason he got the job at the cafe was because his mother, who styled Frank's mother's hair, had put in a good word for him. And now he lost this job and he was going to live with his parents forever. He'd never go back to New York. He'd never make a difference and he'd never be happy. This was it.

Depression and disappointment swirled around Gerard's head as he pulled into his driveway. He got out of the car and into the house and was very, very grateful to discover that the house was dark. Nobody was home.

He quickly made his way up the stairs to Mikey's room where he knew his younger brother kept the liquor. He just needed something to take the edge off, to make him forget that in one night, his entire life was ruined.

Once he reached Mikey's room, he pushed the door open and scrambled his way through the mess to find the lovely bottle of clear liquid. He found it sticking out under the bed and he grabbed it, twisting off the cap. He brought the bottle to his lips, the same lips that just caressed Frank's, and took a long swig. As he felt the familiar burn in his throat and chest, Gerard began to relax. He'd missed this feeling so much.

After taking another larger sip of the poison, he made his way out of Mikey's room and down the hall. As he passed the bathroom, he stopped and took a deep breath. There were pills in there. Lots of them. Pills that could make him sleep and forget about Frank and his perfect eyes and the way he kisses and the heat that his body gives off when he's laying on top of Gerard. He could wash a few of those pills down with the burning liquid in his hand and it will all go away.

Deciding to do it, Gerard made his way into the bathroom and haphazardly fished through the medicine cabinet. He picked up bottle after bottle trying to find the harshest one. He needed to be put out. He didn't want dreams, he wanted blackness. When he finally saw the old, expired prescription for painkillers, he grabbed it from the shelf and held it shakily in his hand. He then dished out four of the magical tablets, placing them on his tongue. Opening the bottle once more, he took a long sip again, feeling the pills slide down his throat, already breaking down, as the vodka burned his mouth. Oh, what a glorious feeling.

As Gerard made his way downstairs, then down the basement stairs to his bedroom, he continued to drink. He wanted the pills and the vodka to mix together and knock him out. He wanted to fall asleep on his bed and never wake up. He wasn't going to be good enough awake anyway.


As Frank watched Gerard leave his house, he was speechless. Why the hell was his mother so stupid sometimes. Gerard being her employee and his boyfriend was not a big deal. It had happened all the time. There were probably millions of TV shows and books about this shit, it was fine.

Deciding to just follow Gerard and ignore his mother's stupid demands, Frank made his way to the front door .

“Frank Iero, you are not leaving this house,” rang Linda's voice through the small foyer.

“Why the hell not?” Frank turned around, glaring at his mother.

“Because we need to talk about this. You cannot be seeing him.”

“Why?” Frank exclaimed, his hands clenching in fists.

“Because I am his boss, Frankie, and you are my son. It's just wrong.”

“Says who?” Frank asked, this was ridiculous. In what rulebook did it say that this was wrong?

Linda stared at Frank for a moment and sighed. He was right. It wasn't 'wrong' per se. It wasn't ideal, but it wasn't wrong. “I just don't think it's a good idea, honey.” She said softly.

“But why? Because of the cafe? Fine, I'll quit, or something.” He sighed and took a step closer to his mother. “I really like him, Ma.”

“I don't want you to quit,” Linda shook her head and walked to Frank, stroking a piece of his wild hair behind his ear. “It's just...” She began to wrack her brain for reasons why her son and Gerard should not be dating. “He's older, for one. You're in college and he's already graduated. You have so much to look forward to, honey.”

“It's not like I’m marrying him, Ma. We're just having fun.” Linda winced at that. Having fun could mean so many different things...bad things. “Come on, he's not like that.” Frank urged on, sensing his mothers hesitation. “He's a good guy. You know that.”

“I do,” She sighed and looked into her sons eyes.

“I really like him, Ma. I’m still going to go to college and graduate and go to med school and become a doctor. This is not going to change anything.” Frank said again, his eyes shining with something. Love, maybe, Linda thought. “He's amazing. I've never met anyone like him before.”

There was a silence as Linda searched her sons eyes. She knew he was right. She'd seen Gerard and Frank together at the cafe. They had an amazing relationship, she just thought it was a platonic relationship.

“I guess there's nothing I can really say about it, huh?” Linda asked rhetorically.

“No, I guess not, but I'd like you to be okay with it.” Frank answered anyway.

“You'll be careful? With....everything?”

Frank scrunched up his nose, “Ew mom, we are not having the sex talk again. We've already had it, y'know?”

“I know, I know. I just worry.”

“I know, Ma, and that's why I love you.” He grinned at his mother, “Now I need to go call my boyfriend before he shits his pants.” He leaned in and pressed a sloppy kiss to Linda's cheek. “And I know, 'watch the language, Frankie.'” He mocked in his best high voice as he made his way to his bedroom.

Linda just laughed watching her son walk away. She raised a good kid. She could trust him.

When Frank entered his room, he immediately flopped onto the twin bed, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. He dialed Gerard's phone as he dropped his head into the palm of his hand and fought the urge to swing his legs like a teenage girl.

The phone went to voicemail both times that Frank called, which only mildly concerned Frank. Sometimes Gerard would engulf himself in a drawing and forget that he needed to react the noise around him. After leaving two voice messages in Gerard's inbox, he decided to text his boyfriend too. Just to let him know that everything was okay.

'Hey, G. Everythin's fine. We both still have jobs n boyfriends. Wanna meet up tom after my shift? Xo F'

Frank sent the message and held the phone in his hands for a few minutes, waiting to see if he got a response. He didn't, of course, because his boyfriend had let the alcohol and drugs take over him once again.