FicWad

16. More Than Words – Randy/Jay

It's a dingy shit hole and Randy's not quite sure why he chose this place over the half dozen others this backwater town had to offer, but he's here now and there's no going back. His nose crinkles in disgust as it's assaulted by the smell of urine, smoke, and cheap beer, in that very order.

Shaking his head he figures beer is beer and tonight he's going to need a lot of it so the cheaper the better.

Walking to the bar he takes a seat on one of the stools and motions for the bartender.

He feels like shit after tonight's taping, and right now he's looking for some comfort at the bottom of a liquor bottle. He's not sure if there's one large enough to provide the comfort he needs, but he'll try anything.

Ordering a glass of scotch he hopes this will do the trick. Once he's got a steady buzz going he feels slightly better.

Nursing a new glass he stares at the amber liquid absent mindedly. He's looking for something, but he knows he won't find it at the bottom, it's just wishful thinking.

He's numb from the alcohol, but that doesn't cover up the fact that he feels like a complete ass.

'You were just going along with the script,' he tries to reason with himself, but deep down he knows it's a sorry excuse.

'A sorry excuse for a sorry man,' he mused as he takes another gulp of scotch grimacing because even after as many as he's had the liquid still burns.

Maybe that's why he chose it in the first place; he didn't deserve a luxurious drink for celebrating.

The look of sadness in those blue-green eyes plays over in his mind. He'd never wanted to hurt him, and yet here he had completely shattered him.

He should have told creative no, that he didn't want a part in the storyline. He hadn't, and for what, a stupid belt that he'd held plenty of times before?

Jay hadn't. No, in the 17 years he'd been wrestling Jay had yet to claim the big one, until Sunday. And now that the belt was his, creative thought it was best to drop the title to Randy.

The worst part in Randy's mind was that he didn't even fight creative when he was told the plan. He knew he had a lot more pull than most in storylines, but rather than use that pull to help someone he'd stood by playing helpless.

It was selfish and he knew it. He could have helped but he chose not to and it was killing him now.

"Idiot," Randy hissed rocking slightly on his stool.

"You do know the voices aren't real?"

Randy's eyes slip shut in humiliation. That's the last voice he thought he'd hear out here.

He smiles, it's forced but in the dim lighting he's certain no one would even notice.

"I didn't think anyone could hear me."

Blue eyes shine brightly, lips quirk in a teasing manner at the statement, "this seat taken?"

Randy shakes his head no motioning to the empty seat beside him. Part of him wants to hide in shame. Another part of him is intrigued to hear what the blonde has to say.

"I thought I might find you here."

Confusion sets in. "You were looking for me?"

A nod, "you were pretty distant backstage, looked like you were in a daze. Adam used to say how that was a sure sign you were gonna go on a binge that night."

Randy nods, of course he'd know from Adam. "So you came looking for me? How'd you know to come here?"

A smirk "it was pretty much the last option."

At the thought of Jay scouring the bars at this hour looking for him rather than relaxing at the hotel Randy feels a tinge of guilt.

"You didn't have to," Randy mumbles taking another swing of scotch.

Jay places his hand atop the glass covering the opening "I did," he replies leaving no room for argument.

That makes Randy mad; he didn't ask to be baby sat. He sighs looking down at the glass. He knows the anger is just his way to cover up the guilt, but truth is he's partly thankful Jay showed up.

Only partly, the other part of him is embarrassed. Here was the man he'd so eagerly thrown under the bus going on a wild goose chase trying to track him down to make sure he was alright.

He watches as Jay pulls the drink away whispering "I think you've had enough. Let's get you back to the hotel champ."

The last word stings, because for once in his life Randy's ashamed to hold that title. Hearing Jay refers to him as that is the final straw for Randy who snaps back at Jay.

"I didn't ask for you to come here. I don't need a damn babysitter!" He regrets his outburst the second he sees that pained look in those blue-green eyes.

'You hurt him again.'

He'd never wanted to hurt Jay, but so far that's all he's done tonight.

"Sorry," he mumbles as he back away wanting nothing more than to leave before he manages to hurt the blonde anymore.

He doesn't get what he wants and instead trips falling backwards to the floor.

Jay is by his side almost immediately. "How much did you have?"

Randy sighs feeling his guilt rise again. "Not enough," he mutters as he tries to stand up.

He's on shaky legs, and Jay can see it so he wraps an arm around Randy's waist as he helps lead him to the exit.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Randy wants to kick himself for how weak he sounds, but the world is spinning in front of him and clinging to Jay is the only stability he has so he ignores the moment of weakness.

Jay smiles "I promised Adam I'd look after you."

Randy is mixed on how he feels knowing Adam is the reason Jay's here. Knowing Jay is here out of debt to his friend makes Randy feel better for some reason. Perhaps it's the thought of Jay's kindness being more of a favor to a friend than something real, and therefore not something Randy should feel bad about having thrown him under the bus. But it hurts too. There's a part of Randy, and he knows he's selfish for even wanting it, but there's a part that wanted Jay's appearance to be from his own will.

It's stupid to think that Jay would willingly want to look for him, but Randy had silently wished that was the case.

"Oh, right," Randy mumbles.

It's when Jay begins to steer him to an unfamiliar car that Randy's feet begin to protest at where they're being led.

"What are you doing?"

Jay quirks and eyebrow "you didn't think I was gonna let you drive yourself back did you? Just get in the car Randy."

Randy stops and pulls back stumbling slightly but he quickly rights himself. "No, I'm not going."

Jay sighs "Randy you're making this more difficult than it has to be. You're completely drunk, there's no way you're driving back."

Randy shakes his head taking a step backwards. "No, I'll take a cab," he slurs taking another step away from Jay.

"Randy what are you doing," Jay asks pushing off of the car to step closer to Randy. "I came out here to get you, and I'm not leaving without you."

Randy shakes his head "No, you came out here because of Adam. You could care less about me."

Jay scoffs "is that what this is about? You think I don't care about you?" Jay is pacing now, his cheeks tinged red as his voice rises. "Randy I care more than you think. And if you think I'm here because of Adam you're wrong. Adam wanted someone to watch over you, but I'm the one who took the job."

Randy blinks completely stunned by Jay's words. "You chose to watch over me, but why?"

Jay tenses and now he's gripping Randy's wrist pulling the younger man to the car. "Get in the car, we're leaving."

Randy fights against Jay's hold pulling backwards "Jay," he whispers hesitantly.

Jay stops and sighs, turning to face Randy a look of defeat on his face. "What do you want Randy," he whispers.

Randy's quiet as he thinks over Jay's question.

"Well? What is it Randy?" Jay's let go of Randy's hand now and is facing the younger man. "What more do you want?"

Randy flinches, because now Jay is yelling at him.

"You have the title again, you're the star of Smackdown, you're at the top of your game, what more could you possibly want."

Randy's head is spinning, and he's not sure if it's from the alcohol coursing through his system of Jay's rising anger. And sure everything that Jay's said is true, he has all of those things, but it's not what he wants.

And maybe it's the alcohol warming his system or the look in Jay's eyes, Randy's not sure but his head is spinning and the only thing that makes any sense right now is telling Jay what he wants.

But Randy's at a loss at how he should go about this and Jay's looking at him expecting an answer. Licking his lips Randy stares back at Jay, and before he can even process what he's doing his lips are on Jay's and he's kissing him fervently.

He's surprised when Jay's suddenly kissing him back, but reluctantly he pulls back.

Randy smiles looking down at Jay "you," he whispers. "I want you."

Blue-green eyes look up at him and for the first time tonight there's not a trace of sadness in them, but instead a glimmer of hope.