FicWad

Weak The bright lights almost blinded Gerard with their intensity and the loud speakers deafened him as the bass pounded loudly in his ear. The stadium was packed with fans, mostly ranging from 14 upwards. All moving in time with the music and mouthing along with the dark clad frontman. Every pair of eyes in the room was focused on him yet no one seemed to notice how he practically stumbled from one side of the stage to the other, or how on several occasions he almost passed out but somehow managed to gather all his strength and power through the rest of the show without as much as swaying. It was a amazing performance for the condition the singer was in at the moment. Gerard wondered how his own brother hadn't even noticed the small subtle things, like how baggy his 'Black Parade' jacket was on him all of a sudden. 'But hey' he figured. 'If they don't notice, they obviously don't care whether i destroy myself or not'.

By the end of the show the whole band was sweaty, exhausted and not to mention hungry. Well almost the whole band. Gerard felt just about ready to collapse now after pouring as much energy as he could into those two and a half hours of non stop singing and entertaining the huge audience. He still wasn't hungry, he had learnt to fight that urge weeks ago.

As the band came off stage all congratulating each other on putting their all into the entire set, crew members immediately began handing out water bottles and energy drinks. But before Gerard could accept the beverage being passed to him, he was dragged by his thin wrists from the room backstage to a nearby empty corridor. Gerard yanked his arm from his captors firm grasp and looked up, only to lock eyes with non other than Bob.

''Dude we need to talk'' He said in a fierce whisper pinning his friend to the plain white wall, making it obvious that it was not a question he was posing.

''What about?'' Gerard sighed trying to stay calm and ignore his frantically beating heart.

''Oh, i don't know, how about the fucking weather? You know what i'm talking about.'' Bob's voice remained steady and firm while speaking. He was clearly going for the tough love approach and it did not seem like he was backing down.

''Bob its nothing really'' Gerard pleaded.

''Gerard you are not okay, so stop fucking telling everyone you are because i know its a load of bullshit. Don't think i didn't notice you up there, fuck Gee you almost passed out like twice and i'm pretty sure Frankie knows at the close proximity he was playing near you without you running your tongue down his neck''

Gerard froze against the wall, stunned at the tone of voice he was hearing from Bob. Was it really that obvious how weak he was on stage?

''Gerard tell me the last time you ate'' Bob continued sternly.

''Bob please i don't-''

''Gerard mother fucking Way tell me when was the last time you ate''

Silence filled the vacant corridor, as Gerard refused to meet Bob's almost accusing eyes. To him they were judging him when in reality they were troubled and concerned.

''Gerard don't make me get Mikey''

Gerard looked up at Bob, tears now beginning to drip down his cheeks. Telling Mikey would be the most humiliating, degrading, heartbreaking thing. Mikey would loose respect for him all together and tell him that he just didn't care anymore.

''Fine...i don't remember, Bob please don't t-tell Mikey y-y-you can't. I-I'll g-get help please i promise just don't tell my brother''

By now Gerard was in hysteric's crying his eyes out, still slightly cowering away from Bob. The drummer's expression softened to one of sympathy.

'As long as he's gonna let us help him' He thought. He was still worried about Gerard, despite his sudden decision to start eating again. Just looking at the bony sack of a man was enough to induce shivers. It had felt repulsive holding a wrist that skinny, like clutching a twig. Even now he could see his friend leaning against the wall, to tired and weak to hold up his own body weight.

''Who else knows?'' Bob said in a hushed tone, releasing Gerard from the wall. He swayed slightly as he stood on his own two feet.

''Frank'' Gerard whispered, ashamed. Tears threatened to overflow again.

''Hey'' Bob lifted Gerard's chin gently, forcing the pale singer to look at him. ''We can get through this, i'm gonna tell the guys your too beat to do any signing. Just go back to the bus and sleep you look like you need it''

Gerard simply nodded to Bob's kind words, mumbling a quiet thanks. Bob turned and walked back towards the stage area, his eyes lingering on Gerard's bony form. He planned to have a serious talk with Frank.

When Bob was out of sight Gerard finally let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He felt his muscles slack and his shoulders drop like stones.

''I hate making promises i know i can't keep'' He murmured to no one in particular.

Gerard reached a shaking hand into his loose black parade jacket pulling out a familiar orange bottle and quickly popping some Xanax before a non existent person saw his shameful act. His eyes swiveled, he was paranoid.

This was way better than food anyway.