Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Only Hope For Me Is You
Gerard leads me to the back of the oval where we were earlier. I notice his hand is still holding mine, but I don’t pull away, I don’t know why. I’ve never understood my feeling, I just let them roam free and doo what they want around my body. That can’t be good; I must start controlling my emotions.
I look at Gerard who is staring at our linked hands. For a few moments we both stare at our hands, but neither of us pull away.
“Thank you.” I say, breaking the silence.
“That guy seems like a total douche, I had to do something” Gerard smiles.
He always smiles. I like him smiling.
“He’s been bullying me for years” I say quietly.
“I gathered as much” Gerard says, not making me feel ashamed or embarrassed or like it was my fault.
I smile at him.
“Uh, I’m really sorry; I’ll pay you back tomorrow, but can please pinch another smoke?” I ask.
He realized he has to let go of my hand to get the packet out of his pocket and he pauses for a few moments before letting go. He hands me a much needed cigarette and I inhale quickly, needing the nicotine hit.
We both seem to sit down simultaneously and laugh. Who is this guy and why do I feel so comfortable around him? I only met him a few hours ago.
“This probably makes me sound really creepy” I begin “But I think you’re the first person I’ve ever met who I feel I can completely be myself around.”
“You don’t act yourself around other people?” He asks, sounding concerned.
“I’ve never really had proper friends to be myself around and well I don’t know really. I just feel like I have to be innocent, non smoking, non school ditching, perfect student, popular, perfect Frank around my family.” I say, my cheeks slightly flushing red.
Gerard looks as if he’s deeply considering my words whilst taking a last drag of his cigarette and flicking the butt away into a bush.
“Hmm” He mutters.
“I’m sorry” I say “I shouldn’t have dumped my personal life on you. I don’t even know you.”
“You could get to know me.” Gerard says with a hint of a smirk.
I look at him confused; I don’t want to jump conclusions. I always jump to conclusions and they’re usually wrong. What does he mean I could get to know him? Get to know him how?
Whilst I was lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t realized that Gerard had placed himself right infront of me. He was sitting on his knees; we were so close we almost touched. I lost my track of thought instantly and instead wondered why he was sitting near me like that. So very...close.
Oh my God! He’s moving his head slowly toward mine. He grabs my hands and our noses are almost touching...
We hear a rustle of leaves behind the nearest bush to us and we both turn our heads rapidly, but are still in the same position. We wait for the next thing to happen. All of a sudden a thin boy a little younger than Gerard and I pops out of the bush, yet still neither of us move.
The boy is staring at us and looking as if he’s about to burst out laughing. He wears glasses and looks almost geeky but also really cool. Like he has a secret identity.
“Mikey fuck off!” Gerard yells.
The boy raises his eyebrows, turns around, and leaves as quickly as he came.
“Sorry, that was my little brother” Gerard says before pushing me over so I’m lying on my back with my knees bent. Gerard is sitting on my crotch and I wonder what the fuck he is planning to do. My mind begins to race. There is a boy sitting on me! A BOY! What the hell!? Am I attracted to Gerard? Am I even into guys? If I am does that make me gay?
“You look worried.’ Gerard says to me.
I would say he sounded concerned but I don’t think he is because he’s sitting on top of me and isn’t exactly the weight of a feather. Though he’s not fat, but he’s not really thin either, he’s like in the middle. But he would be on the skinny to middle weight end of the scale. And he’s not really muscly, but his arms are toned. I think I like his arms, even thought I can’t see them properly because of his jacket.
What are my thoughts?!
I realize I haven’t replied but all I seem to be able to say is a mumbled “mmm.”
Gerard is staring at me intently right in the eyes. I wonder what he thinks of my eyes. Because I think his eyes are amazing.
Again with the thoughts!
Maybe I’m just having odd thoughts because there is an almost stranger sitting on top of me, watching me. He’s watching me think. Is that creepy?
Gerard grabs my wrists and pins me to the ground, the grass cool and damp on my bare arms.
My breathing gets faster and he starts to lean in, like before, before Mikey interrupted us.
Oh my God. We’re going to kiss! I’m going to kiss a boy! I don’t even care!
Here we are, right at the back of the school over, hidden by the bushes and trees and Gerard is on top of me and pinning my arms to the ground...and I enjoy it.
Our faces are only millimetres apart now. I can hardly breathe my heart is beating so fast. I know what’s about to happen but it scares the shit out of me. It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone before, because I have. Except they were...girls.
Gerard places his lips on mine ever so softly then brings his head back up. Was that all? Just a peck. He looks into my eyes as if trying to read my thoughts. I think he does to some extent because he quickly puts his lips back on mine; we seem to fit perfects together. Our hands intertwine and his tongue forces entry to my mouth. Well, I guess he didn’t force it. I wanted it, oh how I want it. I can’t breathe, as much of a lovely way to die it would be, I have to pull away before I loose all breath. But I don’t want to; I decide that if I had to die now, this is how I would want to do it. Gerard and I continue kissing, for quite some time. It’s magical, beautiful, awesome. His touch makes me feel unexplainably excellent. All I want in this moment is him. I feel him harden above me, and that I too, am doing the same.
I realize I actually can’t go without breath any longer otherwise I may actually pass out, but now is probably an appropriate time to stop. I reluctantly pull away, panting and smiling. Gerard is doing the same thing. His whole face is glowing with happiness above me. He looks so excited I can’t help but laugh.
He rolls off of me and lies on the grass beside me. I feel cold and almost as if I’m missing something without him on me, so I reach for his hand.
“Why are you laughing?” He asks me, still smiling.
“You are awesome” I say without thinking.
Gerard doesn’t seem to mind how ridiculous I sound though because he slides over and gives me a light kiss on the lips. I haven’t felt this happy and good about myself since I can’t even remember the last time I felt this good!
I look at Gerard who is staring at our linked hands. For a few moments we both stare at our hands, but neither of us pull away.
“Thank you.” I say, breaking the silence.
“That guy seems like a total douche, I had to do something” Gerard smiles.
He always smiles. I like him smiling.
“He’s been bullying me for years” I say quietly.
“I gathered as much” Gerard says, not making me feel ashamed or embarrassed or like it was my fault.
I smile at him.
“Uh, I’m really sorry; I’ll pay you back tomorrow, but can please pinch another smoke?” I ask.
He realized he has to let go of my hand to get the packet out of his pocket and he pauses for a few moments before letting go. He hands me a much needed cigarette and I inhale quickly, needing the nicotine hit.
We both seem to sit down simultaneously and laugh. Who is this guy and why do I feel so comfortable around him? I only met him a few hours ago.
“This probably makes me sound really creepy” I begin “But I think you’re the first person I’ve ever met who I feel I can completely be myself around.”
“You don’t act yourself around other people?” He asks, sounding concerned.
“I’ve never really had proper friends to be myself around and well I don’t know really. I just feel like I have to be innocent, non smoking, non school ditching, perfect student, popular, perfect Frank around my family.” I say, my cheeks slightly flushing red.
Gerard looks as if he’s deeply considering my words whilst taking a last drag of his cigarette and flicking the butt away into a bush.
“Hmm” He mutters.
“I’m sorry” I say “I shouldn’t have dumped my personal life on you. I don’t even know you.”
“You could get to know me.” Gerard says with a hint of a smirk.
I look at him confused; I don’t want to jump conclusions. I always jump to conclusions and they’re usually wrong. What does he mean I could get to know him? Get to know him how?
Whilst I was lost in my own thoughts, I hadn’t realized that Gerard had placed himself right infront of me. He was sitting on his knees; we were so close we almost touched. I lost my track of thought instantly and instead wondered why he was sitting near me like that. So very...close.
Oh my God! He’s moving his head slowly toward mine. He grabs my hands and our noses are almost touching...
We hear a rustle of leaves behind the nearest bush to us and we both turn our heads rapidly, but are still in the same position. We wait for the next thing to happen. All of a sudden a thin boy a little younger than Gerard and I pops out of the bush, yet still neither of us move.
The boy is staring at us and looking as if he’s about to burst out laughing. He wears glasses and looks almost geeky but also really cool. Like he has a secret identity.
“Mikey fuck off!” Gerard yells.
The boy raises his eyebrows, turns around, and leaves as quickly as he came.
“Sorry, that was my little brother” Gerard says before pushing me over so I’m lying on my back with my knees bent. Gerard is sitting on my crotch and I wonder what the fuck he is planning to do. My mind begins to race. There is a boy sitting on me! A BOY! What the hell!? Am I attracted to Gerard? Am I even into guys? If I am does that make me gay?
“You look worried.’ Gerard says to me.
I would say he sounded concerned but I don’t think he is because he’s sitting on top of me and isn’t exactly the weight of a feather. Though he’s not fat, but he’s not really thin either, he’s like in the middle. But he would be on the skinny to middle weight end of the scale. And he’s not really muscly, but his arms are toned. I think I like his arms, even thought I can’t see them properly because of his jacket.
What are my thoughts?!
I realize I haven’t replied but all I seem to be able to say is a mumbled “mmm.”
Gerard is staring at me intently right in the eyes. I wonder what he thinks of my eyes. Because I think his eyes are amazing.
Again with the thoughts!
Maybe I’m just having odd thoughts because there is an almost stranger sitting on top of me, watching me. He’s watching me think. Is that creepy?
Gerard grabs my wrists and pins me to the ground, the grass cool and damp on my bare arms.
My breathing gets faster and he starts to lean in, like before, before Mikey interrupted us.
Oh my God. We’re going to kiss! I’m going to kiss a boy! I don’t even care!
Here we are, right at the back of the school over, hidden by the bushes and trees and Gerard is on top of me and pinning my arms to the ground...and I enjoy it.
Our faces are only millimetres apart now. I can hardly breathe my heart is beating so fast. I know what’s about to happen but it scares the shit out of me. It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone before, because I have. Except they were...girls.
Gerard places his lips on mine ever so softly then brings his head back up. Was that all? Just a peck. He looks into my eyes as if trying to read my thoughts. I think he does to some extent because he quickly puts his lips back on mine; we seem to fit perfects together. Our hands intertwine and his tongue forces entry to my mouth. Well, I guess he didn’t force it. I wanted it, oh how I want it. I can’t breathe, as much of a lovely way to die it would be, I have to pull away before I loose all breath. But I don’t want to; I decide that if I had to die now, this is how I would want to do it. Gerard and I continue kissing, for quite some time. It’s magical, beautiful, awesome. His touch makes me feel unexplainably excellent. All I want in this moment is him. I feel him harden above me, and that I too, am doing the same.
I realize I actually can’t go without breath any longer otherwise I may actually pass out, but now is probably an appropriate time to stop. I reluctantly pull away, panting and smiling. Gerard is doing the same thing. His whole face is glowing with happiness above me. He looks so excited I can’t help but laugh.
He rolls off of me and lies on the grass beside me. I feel cold and almost as if I’m missing something without him on me, so I reach for his hand.
“Why are you laughing?” He asks me, still smiling.
“You are awesome” I say without thinking.
Gerard doesn’t seem to mind how ridiculous I sound though because he slides over and gives me a light kiss on the lips. I haven’t felt this happy and good about myself since I can’t even remember the last time I felt this good!
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