Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Mikey Isn't Okay
"I'm really sorry," Ray chokes as I enter the room for the second time. Frank and Gerard agreed to come with me so they walk a few steps behind me. Already I can feel new tears welling up in my eyes - tears I can't control.
How did it get to this? Just less than a year ago was when I accidently told Ray how I felt but now... what did I feel? I still love him, he's the love of my life dammit. But there's so much I want that I can't get. What am I saying? I can't be greedy. Sure, we can't have kids, but we can adopt... But... But...
"It's over Ray," I blurt out, almost immediately clapping my hand over my mouth.
He smiles weakly. "I always knew it would be Mikey," he sighs. "A part of me always knew that you wanted more in your life. It's fine... I'd like kids too I guess."
"But we could have adop-"
"It's fine really."
"No it's not," I shake my head miserably. "I love you okay?"
"Aw..."
"Frank shut up."
"Sorry."
"I love you too," Ray replies, a smile playing on his lips. Those lips I've kissed so many times. And they were there, right there... messing with my brain.
Oh fuck it.
I practically attack his lips.
Way to keep it cool Mikey.
"The doctors say I've got problem with blood loss," Ray says dazily.
I avert my gaze from his lips back to his eyes. His big brown eyes. "You... b-blood loss?"
"It's affecting my brain," he wipes a tear from his eye and does the same with mine. "The doctor says in a matter of weeks I'll barely be able to remember a thing."
"No, Ray... please..."
"I can't do anything about it," his lip curls into a pout. "The one thing I will remember though," he takes a sharp intake of breath.
I droop my head, covered the tears spilling down to my cheeks.
"The one thing I'll remember..." he chokes on his words. "Is how much I loved you, and how much I still do."
I take his hand. "I will always love you, I'm sorry for everything. Everything that I have ever done... Why did you have to do this?" I feel my face crease up as I wail. "I love you I love you, forever Ray. Nothing will ever compare to you. Not now, not ever."
"There's always someone."
"That someone will always be you. I don't care how messed up you are," I smile a little. "In your head that is... I love you."
"I love you too."
How did it get to this? Just less than a year ago was when I accidently told Ray how I felt but now... what did I feel? I still love him, he's the love of my life dammit. But there's so much I want that I can't get. What am I saying? I can't be greedy. Sure, we can't have kids, but we can adopt... But... But...
"It's over Ray," I blurt out, almost immediately clapping my hand over my mouth.
He smiles weakly. "I always knew it would be Mikey," he sighs. "A part of me always knew that you wanted more in your life. It's fine... I'd like kids too I guess."
"But we could have adop-"
"It's fine really."
"No it's not," I shake my head miserably. "I love you okay?"
"Aw..."
"Frank shut up."
"Sorry."
"I love you too," Ray replies, a smile playing on his lips. Those lips I've kissed so many times. And they were there, right there... messing with my brain.
Oh fuck it.
I practically attack his lips.
Way to keep it cool Mikey.
"The doctors say I've got problem with blood loss," Ray says dazily.
I avert my gaze from his lips back to his eyes. His big brown eyes. "You... b-blood loss?"
"It's affecting my brain," he wipes a tear from his eye and does the same with mine. "The doctor says in a matter of weeks I'll barely be able to remember a thing."
"No, Ray... please..."
"I can't do anything about it," his lip curls into a pout. "The one thing I will remember though," he takes a sharp intake of breath.
I droop my head, covered the tears spilling down to my cheeks.
"The one thing I'll remember..." he chokes on his words. "Is how much I loved you, and how much I still do."
I take his hand. "I will always love you, I'm sorry for everything. Everything that I have ever done... Why did you have to do this?" I feel my face crease up as I wail. "I love you I love you, forever Ray. Nothing will ever compare to you. Not now, not ever."
"There's always someone."
"That someone will always be you. I don't care how messed up you are," I smile a little. "In your head that is... I love you."
"I love you too."
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