Categories > Books > Cirque du Freak > Mulan: Vampire Style
(Inside Mickey's tent, Ric picks up Cri-kee and uses him for an alarm clock.)
Ric:
All right, rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! C'mon, hup, hup, hup!
(Mickey pulls the blanket over her, and Ric pulls it off.)
Ric:
Get your clothes on, get ready! Got breakfast ready. Look, you get porridge! And it's happy to see you!
(Cri-kee is resting happily in the bowl of porridge, Ric uses chopsticks to fish him out.)
Ric:
Hey, get out of there! You're gonna make people sick!
Mickey:
Am I late?
Ric:
[stuffs porridge in her mouth]
No time to talk. Now, remember, it's your first day of training, so listen to your teacher and no fighting, play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, the other kids want to fight, then you gotta kick the other kid's arse.
Mickey:
But I don't want to kick the other kids' arses.
Ric:
Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face.
(Mickey looks at Ric, her mouth full of porridge.)
Ric:
Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon, scare me, girl!
Mickey:
Rrrrraaaaarrrgggghhhhh!
Ric:
That's my tough looking warrior! That's what I'm talking about! Now, get out there and make me proud!
(Khan neighs frantically)
Ric:
What do you mean, the troops just left?
Mickey:
They WHAT?
[She rushes out of the tent]
Ric:
Wait, you forgot your sword!
[sniffs]
My little baby, off to destroy people ...
Arrow:
Order! People, order!
Larten:
I'd like a pan-fried noodle!
Kurda:
Sweet and pungent shrimp.
Arrow:
That's not funny.
Darren:
Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. Why, hello, Kori, Are ya hungry?
Vancha:
Yeah, cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.
Vanez:
Soldiers! You will assemble swiftly and silently, every morning. Anyone who does otherwise, will answer to me.
(He takes off his shirt, and Mickey stares in awe.)
Vancha:
Ooh, tough guy.
Vanez:
[pulls out a bow and arrow and aims it at Vancha, then
at the top of a high pole in the middle of the camp.]
March. Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
Vancha:
I'll get that arrow, pretty boy, and I'll do it with my shirt on. [He walks over to the pole and prepares to climb up it.]
Vanez:
One moment, you seem to be missing something. [He pulls two giant medals out of a box.] This represents disipline. And this represents strength. You need both to reach the arrow. [He ties them around Vancha's wrists, and all the soldiers after him, and none of them can make it to the arrow.]
Vanez:
We've got a long way to go.
Ric:
All right, rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! C'mon, hup, hup, hup!
(Mickey pulls the blanket over her, and Ric pulls it off.)
Ric:
Get your clothes on, get ready! Got breakfast ready. Look, you get porridge! And it's happy to see you!
(Cri-kee is resting happily in the bowl of porridge, Ric uses chopsticks to fish him out.)
Ric:
Hey, get out of there! You're gonna make people sick!
Mickey:
Am I late?
Ric:
[stuffs porridge in her mouth]
No time to talk. Now, remember, it's your first day of training, so listen to your teacher and no fighting, play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, the other kids want to fight, then you gotta kick the other kid's arse.
Mickey:
But I don't want to kick the other kids' arses.
Ric:
Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face.
(Mickey looks at Ric, her mouth full of porridge.)
Ric:
Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. C'mon, scare me, girl!
Mickey:
Rrrrraaaaarrrgggghhhhh!
Ric:
That's my tough looking warrior! That's what I'm talking about! Now, get out there and make me proud!
(Khan neighs frantically)
Ric:
What do you mean, the troops just left?
Mickey:
They WHAT?
[She rushes out of the tent]
Ric:
Wait, you forgot your sword!
[sniffs]
My little baby, off to destroy people ...
Arrow:
Order! People, order!
Larten:
I'd like a pan-fried noodle!
Kurda:
Sweet and pungent shrimp.
Arrow:
That's not funny.
Darren:
Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. Why, hello, Kori, Are ya hungry?
Vancha:
Yeah, cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.
Vanez:
Soldiers! You will assemble swiftly and silently, every morning. Anyone who does otherwise, will answer to me.
(He takes off his shirt, and Mickey stares in awe.)
Vancha:
Ooh, tough guy.
Vanez:
[pulls out a bow and arrow and aims it at Vancha, then
at the top of a high pole in the middle of the camp.]
March. Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
Vancha:
I'll get that arrow, pretty boy, and I'll do it with my shirt on. [He walks over to the pole and prepares to climb up it.]
Vanez:
One moment, you seem to be missing something. [He pulls two giant medals out of a box.] This represents disipline. And this represents strength. You need both to reach the arrow. [He ties them around Vancha's wrists, and all the soldiers after him, and none of them can make it to the arrow.]
Vanez:
We've got a long way to go.
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