Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Perfection
i killed my ankles today going ice skating, so i'm gonna update to spread the love :3 you guys are awesome for reviewing, it really makes my day when someone reads my stories.
Empty No one spoke the next day, Gerard didn't even make eye contact with anyone (which wasn't hard because he slept most of the afternoon away in his bunk). They had just checked into a hotel fairly close to the next venue, it had been unanimously decided that Frank and Gerard would share a room while the other three shared the larger sweet. Everyone was well aware that Frank and Gerard shared a deep bond and that if anyone could make him see sense it was him. Mikey knew that if he himself tried to get any information out of his brother one of two things would happen: he would shout at Gerard again, or be reduced to tears. Neither of these actions would help them reach out to to the walking skeleton they once called their friend, but only make things worse.
That evening at the hotel the band had gone to get dinner, all except Gerard who polity declined without giving a reason. But it wasn't like he needed a reason not to fill his already bloated stomach with calories...right? It was what he kept telling himself. Ray sighed, not even knowing why he bothered to ask. What other answer did he expect?
"Well we'll be downstairs if you change your mind" He smiled halfheartedly.
oh the things a madman does when he's alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank couldn't concentrate on dinner, his mind kept wandering back to Gerard. The unanswered questions filling his head like flies, buzzing and swarming so he couldn't hear himself think. Why would Gerard want to be perfect? What had caused this change? How far would he go to achieve perfection?
He grumbled at the thought of Gerard wanting to be perfect. They had always taught the kids to embrace all your imperfections because it makes you who you are.
Frank sat through most of the meal trying to make sense out of this whole situation while absent mindedly pushing his food round his plate, only half listening to Rays attempts to make jokes or Bob's sarcastic comments about the waiter's shoes. By the time they had all finished he was fidgeting in his seat anxiously. He really wanted to make sure Gerard was okay even if he refused to talk to him. The other's seemed to register his impatience and made to leave quickly. On the way back to the room Mikey stopped Frank abruptly outside the door.
"Dude, please you gotta try talking to him again" Mikey desperately stated.
"You know he doesn't want to talk"
"I don't care, this is more important than Gerard's stubbornness" Mikey retorted back "Frankie 25% of anorexic's die"
There was a small pause where Frank's breath hitched in his throat. No one had said that until now. Hearing it out loud made it seem so much more real. Gerard could die.
"He'll never listen to me" Frank said after a while "he's probably even angrier at me for telling on him"
Mikey placed his hand on the smaller mans shoulder "Hey" his voice was holding back tears "it was the right thing to do"
"He's never gonna listen to me though...i'm pretty sure he hates me" Frank sighed.
"Fuck Frankie, your such an idiot" Frank looked up at Mikey, confused about how this was an appropriate time to insult him. "Gee doesn't hate you. You're his world"
Frank looked at Mikey in shock. He didn't mean that. Did he?
"Just try to talk some sense into him" Mikey smiled sadly before retreating to his own room.
Frank stood frozen on the spot for a moment or two then jolted back into life and hurried to the next room along the corridor. He wasn't going to enjoy this conversation. It was going to turn into a shouting match where Frank would have to break Gerard.
Frank opened the door to see Gerard sitting cross legged on his bed, not even turning his head to see who it was (not that it wasn't obvious). His face was as sullen as ever and his features long and drawn. The way he was sitting, Frank could clearly see his protruding ribs and collar bone. He was so fucking thin.
"Gee?" Frank questioned warily.
Gerard wasn't just ignoring him, he looked totally spaced. His eyes were glazed over and distant as his head lolled forward so he was staring at his knee's.
"Gerard!" Frank said a little louder, now worried. "Hey Gee"
Still nothing.
Frank gingerly came up to Gerard and lightly tapped him on the shoulder (noting how pointy and sharp it was). As if by magic Gerard snapped out of the despondent daze and turned to face Frank. Upon recognizing his best friends face Gerard smacked a sleepy grin on his face.
"Hey Frankie" He slurred.
Frank looked at Gerard in horror, his jaw was clenched in anger and he felt as if stream could be pouring out of his ears. Gerard just beamed at him with that goofy smile. Frank saw red.
"Gee what.Did.You.take?" Frank said, keeping his voice from shaking with fury. The tone in his voice must have reached Gerard whose smile has morphed into a grimace.
"I don't know what you mean" he whispered unconvincingly. His eyes still had that dreamy faraway look.
"Gerard fucking tell me what you took" Frank was now fuming.
Gerard frowned seemingly confused by Franks rage.
"Nothing"
Frank spotted a small bulge in Gerard's jacket packet. Easily concealed if Gerard wasn't so skinny and frail but compared to him now it looked like a tumor growing out of his thigh. Frank swiped the container from Gerard's pocket while the older man clumsily made for it at the same time but in his intoxicated state was far slower and less coordinated.
Frank read the label in disgust before looking back at Gerard who had huddled up into a (very) small ball against the headboard of the bed. Fear was clearly present in his eyes.
Frank couldn't hold back any longer. "YOU FUCKING MORON GERARD, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME! WHY IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING TAKING THIS SHIT, YOU'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR OVER 2 YEARS GEE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?! THIS IS JUST ANOTHER FUCKING PROBLEM FOR YOU ALONG WITH STARVING YOURSELF! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM! DO YOU THINK YOU NEED TO PUT US ALL THROUGH THIS AGAIN HUH? YOU ARE SO FUCKING SELFISH, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT WE WENT THROUGH LAST TIME WITH THIS. MIKEY IS YOUR BROTHER HOW COULD DO THIS TO HIM AGAIN! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DIE ON HIM AFTER THE CRAP HE WENT THROUGH LAST YEAR! STOP FUCKING UP WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING LIVE YOUR LIFE AND NOT BE SO FUCKING MISERABLE AND SELF HATING! YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?"
Gerard stared straight at Frank in pure terror. He was petrified and shaking. There were tears running down his face and his breathing was shallow, barely taking in enough oxygen. Never had he seen such anger in him. Gerard was so busy gripping his knee's and rocking back and forth, he didn't see Frank storm out of the room. The slam echoed in his mind as Gerard tried to grasp what had just happened. Had he just lost Frankie for good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank sat at the bar with his sixth or seventh drink. After about 2 or so he had felt a lot calmer than before and by the time he had spent hours sitting in this crowded bar feeling nothing but alone and still a little pissed off, he felt the ever so painful feeling of guilt hit him. It wasn't fair that he had exploded at Gerard like that, especially when he already had such a low opinion of himself. But Gee had to remember that he wasn't the only one stressing out. He was worrying the whole band with his behavior and the whole of My chemical romance was going to suffer. Gerard was hardly coping off stage, how would he put on a show every night for hundreds of people? Frank stole a quick glance at the clock and was shocked to see it was 3:32 am. He had been wallowing in rage and self pity for over 6 hours. The place was almost empty.
"Nothing like a few bears to pass the time" he muttered to himself as he hopped down from the stool. Frank knew he wasn't drunk, just slightly tipsy. He had built up a high tolerance when their lead singer was an alcoholic. Too bad he was never able to drop the Xanx. Frank sighed shakily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moment Frank entered the hotel bedroom, he knew something was wrong. The lights were all off leaving the room in a dim grey haze. Frank could still make out most of the furniture and there was a little brightness reflected off the moon through windows. From what he could see Gerard was no longer here. Frank chewed his bottom lip nervously while his eyes scanned the room for any clues. There was a thin stream of light coming from beneath the bathroom door. Frank exhaled in relief that he wouldn't have to call a search party and play 'hunt the Gerard' at 4 in the morning. He sprinted over to the bathroom door and pressed his ear against it. He figured he would hear the sound of dry heaving and his friend crying, possibly throwing a few curses. But nothing but silence came from the other side. Frank pushed the door a little to see it was unlocked, he was rather surprised that Gerard would forget such an important measure of security to stop anyone seeing him. Frank barged through the door, making no attempt to conceal the noise he was making.
The sight he saw made him drop to his knee's.
"no"
i'm such an evil bitch. R&R :3 and i'll try to get the next part up soon.
Empty No one spoke the next day, Gerard didn't even make eye contact with anyone (which wasn't hard because he slept most of the afternoon away in his bunk). They had just checked into a hotel fairly close to the next venue, it had been unanimously decided that Frank and Gerard would share a room while the other three shared the larger sweet. Everyone was well aware that Frank and Gerard shared a deep bond and that if anyone could make him see sense it was him. Mikey knew that if he himself tried to get any information out of his brother one of two things would happen: he would shout at Gerard again, or be reduced to tears. Neither of these actions would help them reach out to to the walking skeleton they once called their friend, but only make things worse.
That evening at the hotel the band had gone to get dinner, all except Gerard who polity declined without giving a reason. But it wasn't like he needed a reason not to fill his already bloated stomach with calories...right? It was what he kept telling himself. Ray sighed, not even knowing why he bothered to ask. What other answer did he expect?
"Well we'll be downstairs if you change your mind" He smiled halfheartedly.
oh the things a madman does when he's alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank couldn't concentrate on dinner, his mind kept wandering back to Gerard. The unanswered questions filling his head like flies, buzzing and swarming so he couldn't hear himself think. Why would Gerard want to be perfect? What had caused this change? How far would he go to achieve perfection?
He grumbled at the thought of Gerard wanting to be perfect. They had always taught the kids to embrace all your imperfections because it makes you who you are.
Frank sat through most of the meal trying to make sense out of this whole situation while absent mindedly pushing his food round his plate, only half listening to Rays attempts to make jokes or Bob's sarcastic comments about the waiter's shoes. By the time they had all finished he was fidgeting in his seat anxiously. He really wanted to make sure Gerard was okay even if he refused to talk to him. The other's seemed to register his impatience and made to leave quickly. On the way back to the room Mikey stopped Frank abruptly outside the door.
"Dude, please you gotta try talking to him again" Mikey desperately stated.
"You know he doesn't want to talk"
"I don't care, this is more important than Gerard's stubbornness" Mikey retorted back "Frankie 25% of anorexic's die"
There was a small pause where Frank's breath hitched in his throat. No one had said that until now. Hearing it out loud made it seem so much more real. Gerard could die.
"He'll never listen to me" Frank said after a while "he's probably even angrier at me for telling on him"
Mikey placed his hand on the smaller mans shoulder "Hey" his voice was holding back tears "it was the right thing to do"
"He's never gonna listen to me though...i'm pretty sure he hates me" Frank sighed.
"Fuck Frankie, your such an idiot" Frank looked up at Mikey, confused about how this was an appropriate time to insult him. "Gee doesn't hate you. You're his world"
Frank looked at Mikey in shock. He didn't mean that. Did he?
"Just try to talk some sense into him" Mikey smiled sadly before retreating to his own room.
Frank stood frozen on the spot for a moment or two then jolted back into life and hurried to the next room along the corridor. He wasn't going to enjoy this conversation. It was going to turn into a shouting match where Frank would have to break Gerard.
Frank opened the door to see Gerard sitting cross legged on his bed, not even turning his head to see who it was (not that it wasn't obvious). His face was as sullen as ever and his features long and drawn. The way he was sitting, Frank could clearly see his protruding ribs and collar bone. He was so fucking thin.
"Gee?" Frank questioned warily.
Gerard wasn't just ignoring him, he looked totally spaced. His eyes were glazed over and distant as his head lolled forward so he was staring at his knee's.
"Gerard!" Frank said a little louder, now worried. "Hey Gee"
Still nothing.
Frank gingerly came up to Gerard and lightly tapped him on the shoulder (noting how pointy and sharp it was). As if by magic Gerard snapped out of the despondent daze and turned to face Frank. Upon recognizing his best friends face Gerard smacked a sleepy grin on his face.
"Hey Frankie" He slurred.
Frank looked at Gerard in horror, his jaw was clenched in anger and he felt as if stream could be pouring out of his ears. Gerard just beamed at him with that goofy smile. Frank saw red.
"Gee what.Did.You.take?" Frank said, keeping his voice from shaking with fury. The tone in his voice must have reached Gerard whose smile has morphed into a grimace.
"I don't know what you mean" he whispered unconvincingly. His eyes still had that dreamy faraway look.
"Gerard fucking tell me what you took" Frank was now fuming.
Gerard frowned seemingly confused by Franks rage.
"Nothing"
Frank spotted a small bulge in Gerard's jacket packet. Easily concealed if Gerard wasn't so skinny and frail but compared to him now it looked like a tumor growing out of his thigh. Frank swiped the container from Gerard's pocket while the older man clumsily made for it at the same time but in his intoxicated state was far slower and less coordinated.
Frank read the label in disgust before looking back at Gerard who had huddled up into a (very) small ball against the headboard of the bed. Fear was clearly present in his eyes.
Frank couldn't hold back any longer. "YOU FUCKING MORON GERARD, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME! WHY IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING TAKING THIS SHIT, YOU'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR OVER 2 YEARS GEE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?! THIS IS JUST ANOTHER FUCKING PROBLEM FOR YOU ALONG WITH STARVING YOURSELF! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM! DO YOU THINK YOU NEED TO PUT US ALL THROUGH THIS AGAIN HUH? YOU ARE SO FUCKING SELFISH, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT WE WENT THROUGH LAST TIME WITH THIS. MIKEY IS YOUR BROTHER HOW COULD DO THIS TO HIM AGAIN! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DIE ON HIM AFTER THE CRAP HE WENT THROUGH LAST YEAR! STOP FUCKING UP WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING LIVE YOUR LIFE AND NOT BE SO FUCKING MISERABLE AND SELF HATING! YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?"
Gerard stared straight at Frank in pure terror. He was petrified and shaking. There were tears running down his face and his breathing was shallow, barely taking in enough oxygen. Never had he seen such anger in him. Gerard was so busy gripping his knee's and rocking back and forth, he didn't see Frank storm out of the room. The slam echoed in his mind as Gerard tried to grasp what had just happened. Had he just lost Frankie for good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank sat at the bar with his sixth or seventh drink. After about 2 or so he had felt a lot calmer than before and by the time he had spent hours sitting in this crowded bar feeling nothing but alone and still a little pissed off, he felt the ever so painful feeling of guilt hit him. It wasn't fair that he had exploded at Gerard like that, especially when he already had such a low opinion of himself. But Gee had to remember that he wasn't the only one stressing out. He was worrying the whole band with his behavior and the whole of My chemical romance was going to suffer. Gerard was hardly coping off stage, how would he put on a show every night for hundreds of people? Frank stole a quick glance at the clock and was shocked to see it was 3:32 am. He had been wallowing in rage and self pity for over 6 hours. The place was almost empty.
"Nothing like a few bears to pass the time" he muttered to himself as he hopped down from the stool. Frank knew he wasn't drunk, just slightly tipsy. He had built up a high tolerance when their lead singer was an alcoholic. Too bad he was never able to drop the Xanx. Frank sighed shakily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moment Frank entered the hotel bedroom, he knew something was wrong. The lights were all off leaving the room in a dim grey haze. Frank could still make out most of the furniture and there was a little brightness reflected off the moon through windows. From what he could see Gerard was no longer here. Frank chewed his bottom lip nervously while his eyes scanned the room for any clues. There was a thin stream of light coming from beneath the bathroom door. Frank exhaled in relief that he wouldn't have to call a search party and play 'hunt the Gerard' at 4 in the morning. He sprinted over to the bathroom door and pressed his ear against it. He figured he would hear the sound of dry heaving and his friend crying, possibly throwing a few curses. But nothing but silence came from the other side. Frank pushed the door a little to see it was unlocked, he was rather surprised that Gerard would forget such an important measure of security to stop anyone seeing him. Frank barged through the door, making no attempt to conceal the noise he was making.
The sight he saw made him drop to his knee's.
"no"
i'm such an evil bitch. R&R :3 and i'll try to get the next part up soon.
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