Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Intoxicated Circulation

Chapter 5

by TayBayBay 3 reviews

A loud crash from the kitchen called our attention to the other room... (A little shorter than usual. Sorry. =/)

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Humor,Romance - Published: 2011-08-25 - Updated: 2011-08-25 - 1311 words - Complete

He was good.
Okay, he was more than good. It’s like he opened his mouth, and sugar covered gummy bears flew out and had sex in the air..... okay weird analogy. But that’s exactly how it felt. Two hours into practice, and Time to Dance sounded better than it ever had in the entire month we had been working on it.
“You cry. Yo-ou cry.” Brendon popped into his flawless falsetto like it wasn’t a big deal. I was so mesmerized by his talent that I totally fucked the next chord.
“Ah, shit. I’m sorry.” I said.
“It’s okay, hun.” Brendon smiled, then bit his lip at the accidental pet name. I pretended not to hear it.
“Let’s take it back.” I continued the process.
“Let’s take a break. I’m fuckin starving.” Jon said, putting his bass on the floor. I sighed, but gave in. Spencer stood up, and followed Jon into the kitchen. I continued to fuck around on the guitar, trying to fight the feeling in my gut that kept reminding me that Brendon and I were alone together. I glanced up slightly, to be met by Brendon’s eyes staring at me. He quickly blinked away, putting his attention back on the page of lyrics in his hand.
“These are amazing, Ryan.” He said. His saying my name put my stomach in knots. I took in a deep breath.
“Thanks. They’re kind of... weird. I don’t know. I’m not sure if people will get it.” I admitted. Why was I always to god damn honest with him?
“I get it.” He smiled, looking back up at me. I smiled back briefly, but then looked away.
“So...” He began slowly, “Do you regret it?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Did we really have to talk about this right now?
“Um... We shouldn’t talk about this right now.”
“So you do.” He concluded, shaking his head.
“I didn’t say that.” I opened my eyes, and looked right at him. He raised his eyebrows.
“It’s obvious, Ryan. You won’t even look at me for more than 5 seconds.”
“You don’t get it.” I huffed, refusing to look away now. Just to prove a point.
“Don’t get what?” He asked, getting frustrated. His lips pursed a little, and he flipped his hair out of eyes.
“How royally fucked up this all is.” I said, gesturing around the room, “I’m a straight guy, who had gay sex, with his new lead singer. Fucked. Up.”
“I get that much. But why not just act like it never happened? You’re being all awkward and shit.”
“Because it is awkward!”
“What about it is awkward? You were drunk, you experimented. Enough said.”
“It’s awkward because I wasn’t that drunk!” I let it slip out, and quickly bit my tongue. Fuck. I didn’t just tell him that. Brendon cocked his head slightly.
“You were pretty drunk.” He squinted. I put my head in my hands.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“So you don’t regret it?”
“Oh my fucking god, Brendon! No, I don’t. Happy?” I snapped. Brendon pursed his lips to hide his smile.
“Sure.” He said, a tone in his voice I didn’t understand. Was he flirting with me? Whatever it was, my body couldn’t figure out if it liked it or not.
A loud crash from the kitchen called our attention to the other side of the room.
“Fuck!” Spencer yelled. I could here Jon laughing. I stood from the couch, which took too much effort and I’m sure Brendon was laughing internally at me, and walked over to the kitchen.
An entire tray of glasses was crashed onto the floor, Jon was laying on the ground laughing, as Spencer leaned against the counter trying to catch his breath.
“The fuck just happened?” I asked, looking back and forth between the two.
“Nothing, man. Don’t worry about it.” Spencer said, his breath a little too heavy. Jon wouldn’t cease his laughing. I squinted at Spencer, noticing his messed up hair... and the fact that his shirt was untucked... I looked at Jon suspiciously.
“You guys weren’t...”
Jon laughed harder. I sighed, and glared at Spencer.
“I was drunk! I was curious! You liar.” I mocked him. Spencer smirked a little.
I turned to leave them, and smacked right into Brendon. I almost fell straight over, but he caught my arm and tugged me back up.
“Wow, I just keep having to stop you from falling.” He smirked. Ugh. He was definitely flirting. Shit.
“Yeah. I noticed.” I laughed nervously. He was touching me. Why was I enjoying this so much. Holy shit, this house was filled with WAY too much homosexual tension for my little brain to handle. I turned back to the kitchen, trying to find an escape from the situation.
“Looks like you’re the only straight guy in the band.” Jon teased. I let out a pathetic squeak of a laugh, and then walked out the back door saying, “I need a smoke.” on the way.

I contemplated going home. That’s how badly I wanted to get out of there. I held the cigarette in between my lips, and genuinely considered walking back to that shit hole. I heard the back screen door swipe, and I shut my eyes. Who ever you are, leave me the fuck alone.
“Can I borrow your lighter?” Brendon’s voice asked. I handed it to him without opening my eyes. He took it out of my hand, and I heard him flick it twice, before putting it back in my hand.
“Sorry this is so awkward for you.” Brendon apologized. I opened my eyes. He was leaning against the house looking down at me as I stood in the grass.
“It’s fine.” I sighed. No it wasn’t. I wasn’t a homophobe, obviously, but really? I had a sexuality crisis on my hands. Having all of my friends be gay didn’t really help me make an objective decision.
“No, it isn’t. It’s obvious you’re upset.” Brendon raised his eyebrows at me.
“I’m just a little confused I guess.” I admitted. Nothing but honesty, as usual. Brendon nodded.
“Yeah, that would make sense.”
“I’m not sure what I’m feeling... after last night. And now the two of them too? It just all seems... a little ridiculous.”
“I understand.” Brendon stared at me with those huge brown eyes. His face was pretty much blank, but his eyes read something different. I couldn’t tell if he felt bad for me, or if he was hurt.
“I don’t regret it.” I assured him, for some reason, needing to make sure he wasn’t hurt for whatever reason. Brendon nodded, and took a few steps towards me.
“Ryan, no one is going to judge you no matter what you decide. I’m here if you want to talk about... well, anything.” He smiled. He leaned towards me, and pressed his lips to my right cheek. His touch made my whole body tingle. I felt myself wishing it was last night again. He pulled away from me, and flicked his cigarette onto the ground. I watched after him as he walked back inside.
I let out a long drag. I knew one thing for sure, last night was much more than just some alcohol induced curiosity. There was something about that boy that drove me nuts. I just didn’t know if it was enough to change me... to change who i’ve always been. I dropped my cigarette onto the ground, and stepped my foot onto it.
Ah well. Time to practice some more.
Sign up to rate and review this story