Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Don't say you're not Ok
Hey guys! I'm at my dads again and so every piece of speech will be amrked with a *! Sorry! Love Always!
Franks POV
Two am. I've been staring at the wall for hours now. Desperately trying to build up my courage and so what i've been meaning to do since yesterday. When he found out. Maybe it is wrong for me, i will drown in a pool of my own self inflicted misery but for him? This is all he needs. He needs to breathe again. He told me he wouldn't leave me ever. And i know he meant that one hundred percent and so now, i have to leave him. With shaky hands i reach for my phone and scroll through my contacts. I come across his name, all six little letters. The reason for me, my saviour. And here i am, about to break him slowly and painfully. I know that i would be crushed if i was him and i know that i wouldn't have ever left him but he needs more. He doesnt need this. In the dark it seems so peaceful, so whole. I don't feel like a burden in the dark. I feel like a spy. Just waiting for morning to come and pounce and i can fend that off and lie back down into a sea of blankets and safety. Nobody knows of what i am about to do. Not Mom, not Jamia and especially, not Gerard. Gerard Arthur Way. My Gee, my everything. The one who is about to leave through no decision of his own. The one i will eternally love but will forever regret causing so much pain to. I press dial with hesitation and with each ring my anxiety grows, as though somebody is building up a brick wall inside of me. As i lose myself in thought, a faint and groggy voice is heard like music to my ears. Only one person makes it that way. Hello? My angel calls and for a second i could turn it all around, say i love you and go to sleep. Frankie? Is that you? Are you okay? I hear the voice continue and all of my courage collapses, like an ocean washing it all away. I begin to cry softly, praying that he will not hear me. I'll be right over, just hang on. He says suddenly alert, and i can hear him rummaging around for clothes. I surprise myself No I say. I need to tell you something. Gee G-Gerard, I love you-- a-and you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, but you need to u-understand. We have to break up. I'm so sorry. I finish as my sobs grow violent. I hear him breathe deeply for a few seconds the way he always does when he's trying to process things. W-what? Frankie, no. I can't live without you. I need you and only you. Please Babe, listen to me. I love you. So fucking much. He says and his voice begins to become croaky and then i hear his own sobs. Matching my own. I love you, Gee. Please be happy. I say and hang up as i let myself fall into an abyss. An empty, pathetic excuse of a life. Nothing could replace what i have just cost myself. Now i will wait in the silence, as dark wraps me in it's cold,cold embrace.
Jamias POV
Hey Frankie! I say enthusiastically as one of the kindest and sweetest souls i have ever worked alongside walks into my room. I've been counselling him as the poor soul is tormented by an evil monstrosity some like to call cancer. Normally, he holds everything together. I have never seen him cry and he always has a bright outlook and feels blessed to be alive. He chats about his Mom and his Fiancee. His fiancee is one lucky person. I'm not supposed to get attatched to my clients but i do have a soft spot for this boy. He shyly takes down his hood and reluctantly takes a seat. He mumbles a quick hi and i realise that something awful has happened. He is bleary eyed, his face drawn, he seems fragile and hollow. No longer is the chatty, friendly person before me. Instead sits a scared, hurting little boy. How are you Frankie? I say gently, hoping that he will be able to open up to me. I reach for his hand sensing his nervousness. Alright He says quickly. But i can see right through him, he seems to forget that. Frankie, you're not alright. I know you're not. Would you like to tell me what's wrong? Remember i'm here to help you. I smile weakly at him, unsure of whether smiling will make him feel any better. He shakily stands and mumbles I'll see you next week Jam. Before he takes a few steps and tries to walk away. After a few steps, something frightening happens. He falls abruptly to the floor and begins to fit violently as i scream for mercy. And this, is why i do not believe there is a God.
Awww! Ok, so i hope this hasn't offended anyone. I personally believe there is a God so that was not supposed to be insensitive! Sorry if it was! Thankyou for reading! :)
Franks POV
Two am. I've been staring at the wall for hours now. Desperately trying to build up my courage and so what i've been meaning to do since yesterday. When he found out. Maybe it is wrong for me, i will drown in a pool of my own self inflicted misery but for him? This is all he needs. He needs to breathe again. He told me he wouldn't leave me ever. And i know he meant that one hundred percent and so now, i have to leave him. With shaky hands i reach for my phone and scroll through my contacts. I come across his name, all six little letters. The reason for me, my saviour. And here i am, about to break him slowly and painfully. I know that i would be crushed if i was him and i know that i wouldn't have ever left him but he needs more. He doesnt need this. In the dark it seems so peaceful, so whole. I don't feel like a burden in the dark. I feel like a spy. Just waiting for morning to come and pounce and i can fend that off and lie back down into a sea of blankets and safety. Nobody knows of what i am about to do. Not Mom, not Jamia and especially, not Gerard. Gerard Arthur Way. My Gee, my everything. The one who is about to leave through no decision of his own. The one i will eternally love but will forever regret causing so much pain to. I press dial with hesitation and with each ring my anxiety grows, as though somebody is building up a brick wall inside of me. As i lose myself in thought, a faint and groggy voice is heard like music to my ears. Only one person makes it that way. Hello? My angel calls and for a second i could turn it all around, say i love you and go to sleep. Frankie? Is that you? Are you okay? I hear the voice continue and all of my courage collapses, like an ocean washing it all away. I begin to cry softly, praying that he will not hear me. I'll be right over, just hang on. He says suddenly alert, and i can hear him rummaging around for clothes. I surprise myself No I say. I need to tell you something. Gee G-Gerard, I love you-- a-and you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, but you need to u-understand. We have to break up. I'm so sorry. I finish as my sobs grow violent. I hear him breathe deeply for a few seconds the way he always does when he's trying to process things. W-what? Frankie, no. I can't live without you. I need you and only you. Please Babe, listen to me. I love you. So fucking much. He says and his voice begins to become croaky and then i hear his own sobs. Matching my own. I love you, Gee. Please be happy. I say and hang up as i let myself fall into an abyss. An empty, pathetic excuse of a life. Nothing could replace what i have just cost myself. Now i will wait in the silence, as dark wraps me in it's cold,cold embrace.
Jamias POV
Hey Frankie! I say enthusiastically as one of the kindest and sweetest souls i have ever worked alongside walks into my room. I've been counselling him as the poor soul is tormented by an evil monstrosity some like to call cancer. Normally, he holds everything together. I have never seen him cry and he always has a bright outlook and feels blessed to be alive. He chats about his Mom and his Fiancee. His fiancee is one lucky person. I'm not supposed to get attatched to my clients but i do have a soft spot for this boy. He shyly takes down his hood and reluctantly takes a seat. He mumbles a quick hi and i realise that something awful has happened. He is bleary eyed, his face drawn, he seems fragile and hollow. No longer is the chatty, friendly person before me. Instead sits a scared, hurting little boy. How are you Frankie? I say gently, hoping that he will be able to open up to me. I reach for his hand sensing his nervousness. Alright He says quickly. But i can see right through him, he seems to forget that. Frankie, you're not alright. I know you're not. Would you like to tell me what's wrong? Remember i'm here to help you. I smile weakly at him, unsure of whether smiling will make him feel any better. He shakily stands and mumbles I'll see you next week Jam. Before he takes a few steps and tries to walk away. After a few steps, something frightening happens. He falls abruptly to the floor and begins to fit violently as i scream for mercy. And this, is why i do not believe there is a God.
Awww! Ok, so i hope this hasn't offended anyone. I personally believe there is a God so that was not supposed to be insensitive! Sorry if it was! Thankyou for reading! :)
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