Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Celebrated Man Amongst The Gurneys
Gerard's POV.
Gerard continued to look out of the window until it was too dark to see anything. His eyes strained against the darkness as he tried, in vain, to make out anything on the ground below. He sighed and lay back on the bed, the flourescent lights of the medical room burning against his closed eyelids. It was uncomfortable to keep them switched on, and Gerard was sure, had there been any other patients in the room, the lights would have been out already. But thankfully, Gerard was alone, and so they continued to glare over his head. The hospital was almost silent, save from the occasional beep of a machine or the squeak of shoes on the overly-clean floors. Gerard had always hated hospitals.
The silence was shattered by the clicking of heels as the night nurse came along the corridor. Gerard went into automatic panic mode, his palms already sweating as he gripped the thin bed sheets. This was the worst part of the day. He could handle the medication, the constant silence, even being by himself - as long as the lights were switched on. Lights off meant falling asleep, and falling asleep meant all kinds of horrible things. The nurse stuck her head around the door, smiled at Gerard and said, 'Okay Mr Way, lights out!' He closed his eyes as the room was plunged into darkness.
As soon as the nurse had left, Gerard's eyes snapped open again. Oh God, he hated this. He could already feel his body reacting to the loss of light, his limbs relaxing as his mind started to fuzz at the edges. The medication did this, made him fall alseep as soon as his conditions were changed for the night. He fought to keep his eyes open but the concotion of pills won and he thrashed fitfully into sleep.
'Mom? Mikey?' Gerard called out to his two family members as they sat talking. He was back home, in his living room, and he was shouting and they were right there in front of him, why weren't they looking up? And then he was at school, and everyone was walking past him and there was Mikey again laughing with his friends, and he couldn't hear him but he knew he was laughing about his mad brother, that freak Gerard who lived in the basement... and then he was back in the hospital and Dr Frank was talking about manic depression, but that didnt work because Gerard wasnt unhappy, see he was smiling!, and he tried to tell Dr Frank but then there was a needle and he didnt remember what happened next. He was trying to breathe but his mouth was filled with something warm, and when he opened it blood began to pour out, and he was choking and retching but it wouldn't stop coming, and there were flecks of it on his skin and they burned and caused painful welts, which in turn bled as well, and there were more needles and his mother again and she was trying to hug him but Gerard didn't want her to touch him, he was hideous and she shouldn't see him like this, get out, get out, and he was curled in on himself and bleeding and sobbing and alone. These images played in a loop until the sun filtered through the blinds and he awoke, covered in sweat and scratches and screaming with a feeling of dread pooled in his stomach.
Gerard continued to look out of the window until it was too dark to see anything. His eyes strained against the darkness as he tried, in vain, to make out anything on the ground below. He sighed and lay back on the bed, the flourescent lights of the medical room burning against his closed eyelids. It was uncomfortable to keep them switched on, and Gerard was sure, had there been any other patients in the room, the lights would have been out already. But thankfully, Gerard was alone, and so they continued to glare over his head. The hospital was almost silent, save from the occasional beep of a machine or the squeak of shoes on the overly-clean floors. Gerard had always hated hospitals.
The silence was shattered by the clicking of heels as the night nurse came along the corridor. Gerard went into automatic panic mode, his palms already sweating as he gripped the thin bed sheets. This was the worst part of the day. He could handle the medication, the constant silence, even being by himself - as long as the lights were switched on. Lights off meant falling asleep, and falling asleep meant all kinds of horrible things. The nurse stuck her head around the door, smiled at Gerard and said, 'Okay Mr Way, lights out!' He closed his eyes as the room was plunged into darkness.
As soon as the nurse had left, Gerard's eyes snapped open again. Oh God, he hated this. He could already feel his body reacting to the loss of light, his limbs relaxing as his mind started to fuzz at the edges. The medication did this, made him fall alseep as soon as his conditions were changed for the night. He fought to keep his eyes open but the concotion of pills won and he thrashed fitfully into sleep.
'Mom? Mikey?' Gerard called out to his two family members as they sat talking. He was back home, in his living room, and he was shouting and they were right there in front of him, why weren't they looking up? And then he was at school, and everyone was walking past him and there was Mikey again laughing with his friends, and he couldn't hear him but he knew he was laughing about his mad brother, that freak Gerard who lived in the basement... and then he was back in the hospital and Dr Frank was talking about manic depression, but that didnt work because Gerard wasnt unhappy, see he was smiling!, and he tried to tell Dr Frank but then there was a needle and he didnt remember what happened next. He was trying to breathe but his mouth was filled with something warm, and when he opened it blood began to pour out, and he was choking and retching but it wouldn't stop coming, and there were flecks of it on his skin and they burned and caused painful welts, which in turn bled as well, and there were more needles and his mother again and she was trying to hug him but Gerard didn't want her to touch him, he was hideous and she shouldn't see him like this, get out, get out, and he was curled in on himself and bleeding and sobbing and alone. These images played in a loop until the sun filtered through the blinds and he awoke, covered in sweat and scratches and screaming with a feeling of dread pooled in his stomach.
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