Categories > Original > Humor > A Zacky Movie
The car drives off into the sunset. We fade to the next day. Zacky is driving with the map in front of him so he can't see. Max is moping. The car drifts left of center. Max glances up and his expression changes to concern. A truck horn blow. Max looks alarmed. The truck horn blow again. Max grabs the steering wheel and turns the car back into the right lane just as the truck goes by.
Max:
Dad, you're gonna get us killed! Why don't you just give me the map?
Zacky:
Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating's a big responsibility! Besides you wouldn't want to spoil the big surprise. I'm taking you someplace pretty special!
They pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Lester's Possum Park and stop.
Zacky:
Gosh! It's even better than I remembered!
Cut to a mother attempting to drag her daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum.
Girl:
No! Mommy! I don't want to go!
Max:
(unenthused) Yeah, fun! Tell you what: I'm just gonna wait right here in the car.
Zacky:
You party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun!
Cut to the interior of a small old theater.
Old Possum:
Howdy there, folks. Lester's is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is.
Several patrons clap for the show as Zacky and Max enter.
Zacky:
Oh, good! We're just in time!
The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum which has obviously seen better days.
Lester:
Howdy, folks! Who's your favorite possum?
Several patrons shout "Lester!"
Zacky:
I got us a seat right up front!
Lester:
Let me introduce you to the posse! There's Buford, Beulah, and Mordechai!
Each pops out of a hole. Mordechai has a terrible electrical short.
Mordechai:
Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling?
Lester:
Sure am, Buford.
Lester: (singing)
Now gather 'round, my possum pals, and join the jamboree. Come hoot 'n' howl 'n' holler from the heart!
Max: (speaking)
This is pathetic!
Lester: (singing)
And every chicken, pig, 'n' goat'll
help by yelpin' out a yodel
Here at Lester's Possum Park!
Lester:
(speaking) Join in, folks! It's yodelin' time!
Many patrons join in the yodeling including Zacky. Max just looks disgusted.
Lester: (singing)
Lester's Possum Park.
Max is getting more and more disgusted at the show.
Lester: (singing)
Well don't you want to be, a'hanging from a tree? We're mighty glad to see ya and the parking's always free!
[Lester begins to break down]
Lester: (singing)
Here at Lester's Po-Po-Po-
[The Old Possum thumps the side of the stage.]
Lester: (singing)
Possum Park!
Zacky is catching it all on video. He then sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea.
Zacky:
Hey! That's the ticket! I'll be right back, my little possum pal!
Max:
My life's a living...
Lester:
Hello, little buddy!
A man in a Lester Possum costume comes up to Max. Max turns his back on him and tries to ignore him. Lester comes around to Max's front.
Lester:
Who's your favorite possum?
Max:
Don't touch me!
Lester:
Aw, why such a long face? You're so sad! Boo hoo hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester!
Max:
Don't even think about...
Lester gives Max a giant hug.
Lester:
See? Now you feel all good inside!
Max slaps Lester which turns his false head backwards.
Max:
Beat it, Doofus!
Lester staggers off unable to see where he is going. He is knocked down and dragged off by several kids.
Max:
Oh, no! No, Dad! Not that! Not that! Please!
Zacky comes back wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max.
Zacky:
Here you go, sport! Let's say we get our picture taken!
Cut to a little girl crying while her picture is taken.
Max:
You have got to be kidding.
Zacky:
Oh, all right, but you're missing out!
Max soon hears a lot of people laughing. Zacky is hanging upside down between two possums to get his picture taken.
Zacky:
Hiya, son!
Kid:
Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!
Photographer:
Say, "sassafras".
Zacky:
Sassyfrass!
The branch breaks and Zacky falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward Max and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down Max's sweatshirt. Max beings to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max's gyrations for an attempt at dance. Zacky see Max just as Max manages to get the possum out of his pants.
Zacky:
That's the spirit, Maxie!
Zacky grabs Max and starts dancing with him.
Max:
No, don't Dad! This is embarrassing!
Zacky finally finished the dance with Max on his knee.
Kid:
It's Dork and Dork Junior!
Max listens to everyone laughing at him and his dad, takes the hat off his head, throws it to the ground and fights his way out of the crowd. He goes to the car only to find it locked. He pounds his fists on the door just as it starts to rain. He walks to the highway and starts hitchhiking. A passing car sprays him with water, but he continues to hitchhike. Zacky comes out.
Zacky:
Max! Hey, what the heck are you trying to do?
Max:
Trying to get away from you!
Max leaves the highway and goes back to the car.
Zacky:
From me? What'd I do?
Max:
Forget it!
Zacky:
I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?
Max:
Nothing. Let's just go. Come on!
Zacky sadly unlocked the door and Max gets in. Zacky goes around and gets in too. He then hands Max the hat he threw away.
Zacky:
Oh, you dropped your hat.
Max blows up, rolls down the window and throws the hat away again.
Max:
This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car then drive a million miles away and see some stupid rat show!! Call me when the trip's over!
Max:
Dad, you're gonna get us killed! Why don't you just give me the map?
Zacky:
Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating's a big responsibility! Besides you wouldn't want to spoil the big surprise. I'm taking you someplace pretty special!
They pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Lester's Possum Park and stop.
Zacky:
Gosh! It's even better than I remembered!
Cut to a mother attempting to drag her daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum.
Girl:
No! Mommy! I don't want to go!
Max:
(unenthused) Yeah, fun! Tell you what: I'm just gonna wait right here in the car.
Zacky:
You party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun!
Cut to the interior of a small old theater.
Old Possum:
Howdy there, folks. Lester's is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is.
Several patrons clap for the show as Zacky and Max enter.
Zacky:
Oh, good! We're just in time!
The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum which has obviously seen better days.
Lester:
Howdy, folks! Who's your favorite possum?
Several patrons shout "Lester!"
Zacky:
I got us a seat right up front!
Lester:
Let me introduce you to the posse! There's Buford, Beulah, and Mordechai!
Each pops out of a hole. Mordechai has a terrible electrical short.
Mordechai:
Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling?
Lester:
Sure am, Buford.
Lester: (singing)
Now gather 'round, my possum pals, and join the jamboree. Come hoot 'n' howl 'n' holler from the heart!
Max: (speaking)
This is pathetic!
Lester: (singing)
And every chicken, pig, 'n' goat'll
help by yelpin' out a yodel
Here at Lester's Possum Park!
Lester:
(speaking) Join in, folks! It's yodelin' time!
Many patrons join in the yodeling including Zacky. Max just looks disgusted.
Lester: (singing)
Lester's Possum Park.
Max is getting more and more disgusted at the show.
Lester: (singing)
Well don't you want to be, a'hanging from a tree? We're mighty glad to see ya and the parking's always free!
[Lester begins to break down]
Lester: (singing)
Here at Lester's Po-Po-Po-
[The Old Possum thumps the side of the stage.]
Lester: (singing)
Possum Park!
Zacky is catching it all on video. He then sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea.
Zacky:
Hey! That's the ticket! I'll be right back, my little possum pal!
Max:
My life's a living...
Lester:
Hello, little buddy!
A man in a Lester Possum costume comes up to Max. Max turns his back on him and tries to ignore him. Lester comes around to Max's front.
Lester:
Who's your favorite possum?
Max:
Don't touch me!
Lester:
Aw, why such a long face? You're so sad! Boo hoo hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester!
Max:
Don't even think about...
Lester gives Max a giant hug.
Lester:
See? Now you feel all good inside!
Max slaps Lester which turns his false head backwards.
Max:
Beat it, Doofus!
Lester staggers off unable to see where he is going. He is knocked down and dragged off by several kids.
Max:
Oh, no! No, Dad! Not that! Not that! Please!
Zacky comes back wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max.
Zacky:
Here you go, sport! Let's say we get our picture taken!
Cut to a little girl crying while her picture is taken.
Max:
You have got to be kidding.
Zacky:
Oh, all right, but you're missing out!
Max soon hears a lot of people laughing. Zacky is hanging upside down between two possums to get his picture taken.
Zacky:
Hiya, son!
Kid:
Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!
Photographer:
Say, "sassafras".
Zacky:
Sassyfrass!
The branch breaks and Zacky falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward Max and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down Max's sweatshirt. Max beings to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max's gyrations for an attempt at dance. Zacky see Max just as Max manages to get the possum out of his pants.
Zacky:
That's the spirit, Maxie!
Zacky grabs Max and starts dancing with him.
Max:
No, don't Dad! This is embarrassing!
Zacky finally finished the dance with Max on his knee.
Kid:
It's Dork and Dork Junior!
Max listens to everyone laughing at him and his dad, takes the hat off his head, throws it to the ground and fights his way out of the crowd. He goes to the car only to find it locked. He pounds his fists on the door just as it starts to rain. He walks to the highway and starts hitchhiking. A passing car sprays him with water, but he continues to hitchhike. Zacky comes out.
Zacky:
Max! Hey, what the heck are you trying to do?
Max:
Trying to get away from you!
Max leaves the highway and goes back to the car.
Zacky:
From me? What'd I do?
Max:
Forget it!
Zacky:
I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?
Max:
Nothing. Let's just go. Come on!
Zacky sadly unlocked the door and Max gets in. Zacky goes around and gets in too. He then hands Max the hat he threw away.
Zacky:
Oh, you dropped your hat.
Max blows up, rolls down the window and throws the hat away again.
Max:
This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car then drive a million miles away and see some stupid rat show!! Call me when the trip's over!
Sign up to rate and review this story