Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break
The Collision of Your Kiss That Made it so Hard
4 reviewsRachel, Frank, and Gerard deal with the past events.
1Moving
A/N: Ahh you guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews on the last chapter! I couldn't stop smiling! Well here is the next chapter, I really liked writing it. So I hope you guys love reading it! R&R! I love you all!
Chapter 19: The Collision of Your Kiss That Made it so Hard
Rachel’s POV:
What. The. Fuck. I couldn’t believe everything that had just happened. I had managed to crawl up my stairs and fling myself onto my bed and just cried for the past two hours. I was a fool, a fucking fool to think that I could change a boy like Gerard. He just told me every single last fucking thing that I wanted to hear, and then I just became what he wanted to me. He was probably fucking girls behind my fucking back this whole fucking time. I was a damn fool. The same thoughts just circulated through my mind over and over again, until I finally sat up. When I had closed my eyes it was daytime, it was now dark outside. I dragged myself to my red couch and looked out the window, it was still snowing and all the rooftops and roads were covered in the white powder. I looked across the way and saw a light flick on. Then I saw Gerard climb out onto his roof, he laid a towel down, sat down, and sparked up a cigarette. If this were any other day I would yell at him to come over or just mess with him a little. But no, today was different and everyday from today on would be different. I watched Gerard carefully inhaling and exhaling the smoke, he had finished his first cigarette in a matter of minutes. He pulled out one after another, and I just watched him intently. I felt tears rise to my eyes because I realized I would never look at him the same again. I was just about to look away and go back to wallowing in my own self pity when I saw him look up. I could see the discomfort in his eyes, and I could feel it all over my body, but I knew we both couldn’t look away. I finally closed the blinds and drew the curtains so he couldn’t see me. I then felt rage consume me and I just started screaming. I was running all over my room throwing things at the wall, hitting it, tears were rolling down my face I couldn’t believe this happened I was still in shock, I didn’t know how long it would take for me to get over that I was just a play toy for Gerard Way. I just laid back on my bed and cried.
After I had cried all the tears I could possibly cry I remembered something, Frank had kissed me earlier. I pressed my hand to my lips remembering what it felt like. It was the only time I had felt comfort today, I felt safe because I knew I could trust Frank. I knew Frank would never do what Gerard to me. I liked the way Frank found a way to entertain himself in the most boring situations, he could always make me smile, his laugh was infectious, and from what I could tell he was a good kisser. This whole time I had just wasted with Gerard, could have been meaningful time with Frankie. I felt like a bitch because I just overlooked him and today he laid it all on the line and I just walked away. I was so confused my heart was broken but at the same time I felt butterflies in my stomach for Frank. The only thing I could think to do was sleep, just sleep, and let my dreams take me away and hope that tomorrow this would all go away. But I knew that I would wake up, knowing everything that happened today was real, and the hardest part would be letting go of my dreams. I crawled into my bed and shut my eyes.
“May the ground open up and swallow me whole.” I muttered as I drifted away.
Frank’s POV:
Holy shit.. What did I just do. I kissed her, after her and my best friend just broke up. Oh shit, Gerard is gonna fucking kill me, when he finds out. I couldn’t help it though. I was so frustrated. How could she think nobody would want her now? I wanted her. I have made it pretty obvious I think. I could treat her so much fucking better than Gerard and the fact that he did what he did to her. You know what, I should be the one who wants to kill him, he hurt a girl I cared about, and fucked my ex girlfriend. What kind of friend is he? I mean I really didn’t care about Holly, she was a slut, but it was a good excuse to want to beat him up. I was pacing around my room for the past half hour, wondering what to do. I had to tell someone what had just happened. I picked up my phone and dialed Mikey’s number.
“Hey.” he answered after a couple rings sounding frustrated.
“Mikey, I have to tell you something.” I said eagerly, I could feel myself becoming more and more anxious.
“What?” he said. I could tell Mikey was angry with Gerard.
“I kissed Rachel.” I blurted out.
“Yeah I know, that night at Bob’s.” he said apathetically.
“No, I mean I just kissed her. She called me after Gerard and she broke up, and we were in the middle of the street. I got so frustrated because she felt like nobody wanted her. When I have for awhile, and I just grabbed her and kissed her.” I said all in one breath.
“Oh shit. What’d she do?” he asked sounding a bit more interested.
“She ran inside.” I felt my heart drop.
“Well she is probably really confused.” Mikey said. “But Gerard has to know. Even though I am pissed as fuck at him, its better he hears it from me first, so he has time to cool off. Than you telling him.” Mikey said calmly.
“Yeah you’re right. I’m pissed at him too, but he’ll find out sooner or later.” I said a little worried.
“Mkay, well I am going to talk to him now. I’ll text you in a little. See ya.” he said and hung up the phone.
I was freaking out I had no idea what tomorrow would entail. Its only a two days into winter break and shit is going crazy already. I laid down on my bed and turned on the TV, trying to relax.
May the ground open up and swallow me whole. I thought.
Gerard’s POV:
I watched as Rachel broke eye contact with me and shut her blinds and curtains, leaving me to myself. I felt terrible, I cared for her. I really did and I wanted her back so badly, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I went to take a drag off my cigarette, realizing I had just let it sit her and let the ash gather and fall off itself. So people would say I did what I did because I had daddy issues. My dad left my family when I was 10 and Mikey was 9. I always remember my mom screaming at the top of her lungs at him calling him a “womanizer”. When Mikey called me that today, I died a little inside, because the last thing I wanted was to be compared to my Dad. I hated the thought of him, he left his family. For some “tight blonde secretary” I remember him screaming back to my mom the night that he had left us. I remember vowing to myself from that day that I would loath him forever. I was different from him, because I was kid and I could afford to make these mistakes right now. He was an adult, with a fucking family, and he didn’t give two shits. Mikey never talked about our father but he knew exactly what had happened. He just preferred to act like our father didn’t exist. He’s tried to contact us, apologize to my mom, and try and talk to us. But she never let him and we liked it that way.
I finished my 5th cigarette and climbed back into the warmth of my room, when I close the window I turned around and saw Mikey standing in front of me.
“Hey.” I said with great apathy. He just glared at me.
“Mikey, I feel like shit. Can we please not do this right now?” I pleaded with him. He still was just glaring at me, staring into my eyes.
“I just want to know what’s going on in the fucking head of your’s. Did you lose your brain or something? Or do you just not have one?” He spoke finally. I could tell he was still angry with me.
“Mikey please.” I begged.
“No. I’m fucking furious with you. I thought you had changed. But nope you hadn’t. You know what?” his words were hitting me like multiple punches to the face.
“What?” I said feeling completely defeated.
“You’re just like him.” Mikey glared at me as he said it coldly.
“No. Don’t even fucking say that.” I felt completely appalled.
“You are just like our father.” He said. The words stabbed me in the heart and I felt tears roll down my face.
“How fucking dare you compare me to that monster of a man. He had a family. US. Remember? We are supposed to be family Mikey. I am a kid I can make these mistakes right now.” I retorted back, hoping to strike some feeling of sympathy from him.
He just looked at me up and down and sighed.
“It’s a mistake the first time it happens Gerard, the second time it’s a choice.” He looked down at the floor. Then at me disappointed, he started to leave the room.
When he reached the door he stopped.
“I just thought you should know Frank called me. He told me he kissed Rachel after you guys broke up.” he said plainly, then he left.
What the fuck I felt anger flood my body. How could my best friend do that to me. Of all the fucking things in the world. I was gonna kill him. I sunk to my floor, and just laid there in complete despair. My life couldn’t get any worse.
“May the ground open up and swallow me whole.” I sighed.
A/N: Okay that was it! I hope you liked it! R*R(:
Chapter 19: The Collision of Your Kiss That Made it so Hard
Rachel’s POV:
What. The. Fuck. I couldn’t believe everything that had just happened. I had managed to crawl up my stairs and fling myself onto my bed and just cried for the past two hours. I was a fool, a fucking fool to think that I could change a boy like Gerard. He just told me every single last fucking thing that I wanted to hear, and then I just became what he wanted to me. He was probably fucking girls behind my fucking back this whole fucking time. I was a damn fool. The same thoughts just circulated through my mind over and over again, until I finally sat up. When I had closed my eyes it was daytime, it was now dark outside. I dragged myself to my red couch and looked out the window, it was still snowing and all the rooftops and roads were covered in the white powder. I looked across the way and saw a light flick on. Then I saw Gerard climb out onto his roof, he laid a towel down, sat down, and sparked up a cigarette. If this were any other day I would yell at him to come over or just mess with him a little. But no, today was different and everyday from today on would be different. I watched Gerard carefully inhaling and exhaling the smoke, he had finished his first cigarette in a matter of minutes. He pulled out one after another, and I just watched him intently. I felt tears rise to my eyes because I realized I would never look at him the same again. I was just about to look away and go back to wallowing in my own self pity when I saw him look up. I could see the discomfort in his eyes, and I could feel it all over my body, but I knew we both couldn’t look away. I finally closed the blinds and drew the curtains so he couldn’t see me. I then felt rage consume me and I just started screaming. I was running all over my room throwing things at the wall, hitting it, tears were rolling down my face I couldn’t believe this happened I was still in shock, I didn’t know how long it would take for me to get over that I was just a play toy for Gerard Way. I just laid back on my bed and cried.
After I had cried all the tears I could possibly cry I remembered something, Frank had kissed me earlier. I pressed my hand to my lips remembering what it felt like. It was the only time I had felt comfort today, I felt safe because I knew I could trust Frank. I knew Frank would never do what Gerard to me. I liked the way Frank found a way to entertain himself in the most boring situations, he could always make me smile, his laugh was infectious, and from what I could tell he was a good kisser. This whole time I had just wasted with Gerard, could have been meaningful time with Frankie. I felt like a bitch because I just overlooked him and today he laid it all on the line and I just walked away. I was so confused my heart was broken but at the same time I felt butterflies in my stomach for Frank. The only thing I could think to do was sleep, just sleep, and let my dreams take me away and hope that tomorrow this would all go away. But I knew that I would wake up, knowing everything that happened today was real, and the hardest part would be letting go of my dreams. I crawled into my bed and shut my eyes.
“May the ground open up and swallow me whole.” I muttered as I drifted away.
Frank’s POV:
Holy shit.. What did I just do. I kissed her, after her and my best friend just broke up. Oh shit, Gerard is gonna fucking kill me, when he finds out. I couldn’t help it though. I was so frustrated. How could she think nobody would want her now? I wanted her. I have made it pretty obvious I think. I could treat her so much fucking better than Gerard and the fact that he did what he did to her. You know what, I should be the one who wants to kill him, he hurt a girl I cared about, and fucked my ex girlfriend. What kind of friend is he? I mean I really didn’t care about Holly, she was a slut, but it was a good excuse to want to beat him up. I was pacing around my room for the past half hour, wondering what to do. I had to tell someone what had just happened. I picked up my phone and dialed Mikey’s number.
“Hey.” he answered after a couple rings sounding frustrated.
“Mikey, I have to tell you something.” I said eagerly, I could feel myself becoming more and more anxious.
“What?” he said. I could tell Mikey was angry with Gerard.
“I kissed Rachel.” I blurted out.
“Yeah I know, that night at Bob’s.” he said apathetically.
“No, I mean I just kissed her. She called me after Gerard and she broke up, and we were in the middle of the street. I got so frustrated because she felt like nobody wanted her. When I have for awhile, and I just grabbed her and kissed her.” I said all in one breath.
“Oh shit. What’d she do?” he asked sounding a bit more interested.
“She ran inside.” I felt my heart drop.
“Well she is probably really confused.” Mikey said. “But Gerard has to know. Even though I am pissed as fuck at him, its better he hears it from me first, so he has time to cool off. Than you telling him.” Mikey said calmly.
“Yeah you’re right. I’m pissed at him too, but he’ll find out sooner or later.” I said a little worried.
“Mkay, well I am going to talk to him now. I’ll text you in a little. See ya.” he said and hung up the phone.
I was freaking out I had no idea what tomorrow would entail. Its only a two days into winter break and shit is going crazy already. I laid down on my bed and turned on the TV, trying to relax.
May the ground open up and swallow me whole. I thought.
Gerard’s POV:
I watched as Rachel broke eye contact with me and shut her blinds and curtains, leaving me to myself. I felt terrible, I cared for her. I really did and I wanted her back so badly, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I went to take a drag off my cigarette, realizing I had just let it sit her and let the ash gather and fall off itself. So people would say I did what I did because I had daddy issues. My dad left my family when I was 10 and Mikey was 9. I always remember my mom screaming at the top of her lungs at him calling him a “womanizer”. When Mikey called me that today, I died a little inside, because the last thing I wanted was to be compared to my Dad. I hated the thought of him, he left his family. For some “tight blonde secretary” I remember him screaming back to my mom the night that he had left us. I remember vowing to myself from that day that I would loath him forever. I was different from him, because I was kid and I could afford to make these mistakes right now. He was an adult, with a fucking family, and he didn’t give two shits. Mikey never talked about our father but he knew exactly what had happened. He just preferred to act like our father didn’t exist. He’s tried to contact us, apologize to my mom, and try and talk to us. But she never let him and we liked it that way.
I finished my 5th cigarette and climbed back into the warmth of my room, when I close the window I turned around and saw Mikey standing in front of me.
“Hey.” I said with great apathy. He just glared at me.
“Mikey, I feel like shit. Can we please not do this right now?” I pleaded with him. He still was just glaring at me, staring into my eyes.
“I just want to know what’s going on in the fucking head of your’s. Did you lose your brain or something? Or do you just not have one?” He spoke finally. I could tell he was still angry with me.
“Mikey please.” I begged.
“No. I’m fucking furious with you. I thought you had changed. But nope you hadn’t. You know what?” his words were hitting me like multiple punches to the face.
“What?” I said feeling completely defeated.
“You’re just like him.” Mikey glared at me as he said it coldly.
“No. Don’t even fucking say that.” I felt completely appalled.
“You are just like our father.” He said. The words stabbed me in the heart and I felt tears roll down my face.
“How fucking dare you compare me to that monster of a man. He had a family. US. Remember? We are supposed to be family Mikey. I am a kid I can make these mistakes right now.” I retorted back, hoping to strike some feeling of sympathy from him.
He just looked at me up and down and sighed.
“It’s a mistake the first time it happens Gerard, the second time it’s a choice.” He looked down at the floor. Then at me disappointed, he started to leave the room.
When he reached the door he stopped.
“I just thought you should know Frank called me. He told me he kissed Rachel after you guys broke up.” he said plainly, then he left.
What the fuck I felt anger flood my body. How could my best friend do that to me. Of all the fucking things in the world. I was gonna kill him. I sunk to my floor, and just laid there in complete despair. My life couldn’t get any worse.
“May the ground open up and swallow me whole.” I sighed.
A/N: Okay that was it! I hope you liked it! R*R(:
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