Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Innocence
I love Matt Edwards. I really do, but that’s where it stops. I love him as a person because he has consumed the majority of my time in the past year that we’ve been together, but I am no longer in love with him. He isn’t the one for me and it is bluntly obvious. I should have left him months before, but it scared me to do so. He is a comfort to me. I just couldn’t leave him, especially when Matt had burdened his family with demanding to move so he could still be with me. The thought of starting over with someone new sounds so exhausting
At least, that’s what I thought before I met Frank.
I have never intended to be a cheater. Hell, it is everything that I am against for many reasons. It is completely wrong to be intimate with anyone other than your significant other, but I can’t resist the temptation to feel Frank’s lips against mine. At the moment when I was sitting in his car with him, all thoughts of Matt melted from my mind. It was like he didn’t even exist. It was just Frank and I. When I kiss Matt, it is just a kiss…a meaningless kiss. When I kiss Frank, it feels as if a shock is going through my entire body, from my head to my toes. I feel happy, loved, and peaceful. All of those emotions from that one kiss.
Frank walks me to my front door; there he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. I have his hand held in mine and I do not want to let him go.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” he whispers in my ear, causing a shiver to rise in me.
I nod my head slowly, gazing into his hazel green eyes. His eyes are so beautiful, “Pick me up here.”
Frank smiles moving a red strand of hair away from my face with his index finger, “What time? Where do you want to go?”
I place my hands on his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs in circles against his warm skin, “It doesn’t matter. I just want to be with you.”
I mean it. I don’t know how this boy has me feeling the way he does so quickly. It just doesn’t make sense, especially when only four or five days ago I swore I wouldn’t let myself fall this fast ever again.
“I’ll be thinking of you, Amber,” he kisses my lips softly and begins to walk back over to his beat up car.
The words “I love you”, nearly come out of my mouth, but I hold them back. I can’t believe that I nearly told him that. I certainly can’t already feel that way, can I? I don’t even know much about the kid.
I enter my home, wearing a dorkie smile. My mother is sitting on the couch, most likely waiting for my arrival, “Mama?”
She glances up at me with a tired smile on her face.
“Amber, you’re home,” she gives me a tight hug, kissing my cheek.
My mother is my inspiration. I have never met a more caring and loving woman in my 17 years of living. And, man, is she stunning. Everyone tells me that I look so much like her and I take that as a compliment. My mother, as I, is a firm believer in peace and love. She supports me in all the decisions I make with my life, but I worry that she will be upset about my kiss with Frank, seeing as I had just broken up with Matt. To me it still seems like cheating.
“You look bothered. What’s on your mind, sweetie?”
I take a deep breath, “Mama, I think I may be in love.”
“Well, Matt is a lucky boy,” she smiles, patting my knee. She must have forgotten that I’m no longer with him.
I shake my head, “No. Not with Matt, with another boy. His name is Frank.”
Confusion washes over her pretty features, “Frank? What happened to Matt? Weren’t you guys together yesterday?”
“I broke up with him almost a two weeks ago. I met Frank a few days ago. Mama, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I don’t know him very well, but I know he’s the one for me. And when I kissed him-” I trail off, pressing two fingers to my lips. “God, when I kissed him –”
“What?” She interrupts me, still not comprehending that I’m not longer with Matt. “You kissed him?”
I’m unable to stop the smile from forming on my lips, where Frank’s very own had been just minutes ago, “I did. I know I didn’t cheat but it felt like it…I…I just couldn’t stop myself. Everything felt so right when I did.”
My mother sighs, squeezing my hand tightly, “Amber, I just want you to be happy. Your happiness comes first above everything else. If Frank is the one you want, be with him. Besides you aren’t with Matt anymore any way. Amber, the one thing I ask of you is to make sure Matt knows you’re done.”
“I respect that,” I answer knowing getting Matt to accept I’ve moved on will be harder than it sounds.
“I will say that I’m glad you realize Matt is not the one. That boy is not right for you. I don’t like the way he stares at you like you’re some kind of steak,” she shakes her head. No one in my family really cared for him. He didn’t fit in with them at all, “Now, time for bed. I love you so much, Amber.”
“I love you, too, Mama.”
___
Frank texts me to let me know he is going to pick me up around two in the afternoon. I want to look decent for him. I have straightened my hair that I usually leave curly and am in the middle of applying makeup to my face when my little sister, Chrissie, walks in asking if she can help me pick out an outfit. I can’t say no to her. She’s so excited that I am going on a date with someone other than Matt.
“I like this!” Chrissie is holding up a white, flower print bustier. It is cute, but I usually just wear it under my shirts, never by itself.
“Chrissie, that is way too sexy. It’s pretty much like a sleep shirt,” I remind her, taking it out of her hands.
She grabs it back from me, “But you can just wear it with your high waist shorts and a cardigan. Frank will love it.”
My twelve year old sister is giving me fashion advice on how to wear something sexy. The outfit is cute, though.
“You think he will?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at myself in the mirror.
“He’d be crazy not to, Rayne,” Chrissie answers, using my middle name.
An hour later, the doorbell rings, “Amber, Frank is here!” my mom calls from downstairs.
He has arrived 30 minutes early. I smooth out my outfit and take a deep breath. I have to remind myself to breathe while I am around him.
Frank and my mother are both seated on the couch, making light conversation. She seems to like him, thankfully. Then again I had no doubt that she would be. He is the complete opposite of Matt.
“Hi, Frank,” I say, making my presence known in the room.
Frank’s head whips around to face me. He smiles, immediately standing up to give me a gentle hug, “You look beautiful,” he whispers in my ear.
“Thank you.”
Chrissie comes down the stairs, “You’re Frank?”
He nods, giving her a smile.
“Nice to meet you, Amber has not stopped talking about you, so I had to see what was so great about you myself,” she says.
“Chrissie!” my face lights up bright red. She is trying to embarrass me. She is like how a father should be or something.
Frank raises his eyebrows, “Does she?”
My mother steps in, laughing, “Chrissie, go clean you room,” she then turns to Frank and I. “You kids have fun, okay?”
My mom gives Frank a hug and then put her arms around me, “He’s adorable, Amber. I like this one,” she whispers in my ear.
So do I.
Note: This story makes me happy :)
At least, that’s what I thought before I met Frank.
I have never intended to be a cheater. Hell, it is everything that I am against for many reasons. It is completely wrong to be intimate with anyone other than your significant other, but I can’t resist the temptation to feel Frank’s lips against mine. At the moment when I was sitting in his car with him, all thoughts of Matt melted from my mind. It was like he didn’t even exist. It was just Frank and I. When I kiss Matt, it is just a kiss…a meaningless kiss. When I kiss Frank, it feels as if a shock is going through my entire body, from my head to my toes. I feel happy, loved, and peaceful. All of those emotions from that one kiss.
Frank walks me to my front door; there he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. I have his hand held in mine and I do not want to let him go.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” he whispers in my ear, causing a shiver to rise in me.
I nod my head slowly, gazing into his hazel green eyes. His eyes are so beautiful, “Pick me up here.”
Frank smiles moving a red strand of hair away from my face with his index finger, “What time? Where do you want to go?”
I place my hands on his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs in circles against his warm skin, “It doesn’t matter. I just want to be with you.”
I mean it. I don’t know how this boy has me feeling the way he does so quickly. It just doesn’t make sense, especially when only four or five days ago I swore I wouldn’t let myself fall this fast ever again.
“I’ll be thinking of you, Amber,” he kisses my lips softly and begins to walk back over to his beat up car.
The words “I love you”, nearly come out of my mouth, but I hold them back. I can’t believe that I nearly told him that. I certainly can’t already feel that way, can I? I don’t even know much about the kid.
I enter my home, wearing a dorkie smile. My mother is sitting on the couch, most likely waiting for my arrival, “Mama?”
She glances up at me with a tired smile on her face.
“Amber, you’re home,” she gives me a tight hug, kissing my cheek.
My mother is my inspiration. I have never met a more caring and loving woman in my 17 years of living. And, man, is she stunning. Everyone tells me that I look so much like her and I take that as a compliment. My mother, as I, is a firm believer in peace and love. She supports me in all the decisions I make with my life, but I worry that she will be upset about my kiss with Frank, seeing as I had just broken up with Matt. To me it still seems like cheating.
“You look bothered. What’s on your mind, sweetie?”
I take a deep breath, “Mama, I think I may be in love.”
“Well, Matt is a lucky boy,” she smiles, patting my knee. She must have forgotten that I’m no longer with him.
I shake my head, “No. Not with Matt, with another boy. His name is Frank.”
Confusion washes over her pretty features, “Frank? What happened to Matt? Weren’t you guys together yesterday?”
“I broke up with him almost a two weeks ago. I met Frank a few days ago. Mama, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I don’t know him very well, but I know he’s the one for me. And when I kissed him-” I trail off, pressing two fingers to my lips. “God, when I kissed him –”
“What?” She interrupts me, still not comprehending that I’m not longer with Matt. “You kissed him?”
I’m unable to stop the smile from forming on my lips, where Frank’s very own had been just minutes ago, “I did. I know I didn’t cheat but it felt like it…I…I just couldn’t stop myself. Everything felt so right when I did.”
My mother sighs, squeezing my hand tightly, “Amber, I just want you to be happy. Your happiness comes first above everything else. If Frank is the one you want, be with him. Besides you aren’t with Matt anymore any way. Amber, the one thing I ask of you is to make sure Matt knows you’re done.”
“I respect that,” I answer knowing getting Matt to accept I’ve moved on will be harder than it sounds.
“I will say that I’m glad you realize Matt is not the one. That boy is not right for you. I don’t like the way he stares at you like you’re some kind of steak,” she shakes her head. No one in my family really cared for him. He didn’t fit in with them at all, “Now, time for bed. I love you so much, Amber.”
“I love you, too, Mama.”
___
Frank texts me to let me know he is going to pick me up around two in the afternoon. I want to look decent for him. I have straightened my hair that I usually leave curly and am in the middle of applying makeup to my face when my little sister, Chrissie, walks in asking if she can help me pick out an outfit. I can’t say no to her. She’s so excited that I am going on a date with someone other than Matt.
“I like this!” Chrissie is holding up a white, flower print bustier. It is cute, but I usually just wear it under my shirts, never by itself.
“Chrissie, that is way too sexy. It’s pretty much like a sleep shirt,” I remind her, taking it out of her hands.
She grabs it back from me, “But you can just wear it with your high waist shorts and a cardigan. Frank will love it.”
My twelve year old sister is giving me fashion advice on how to wear something sexy. The outfit is cute, though.
“You think he will?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at myself in the mirror.
“He’d be crazy not to, Rayne,” Chrissie answers, using my middle name.
An hour later, the doorbell rings, “Amber, Frank is here!” my mom calls from downstairs.
He has arrived 30 minutes early. I smooth out my outfit and take a deep breath. I have to remind myself to breathe while I am around him.
Frank and my mother are both seated on the couch, making light conversation. She seems to like him, thankfully. Then again I had no doubt that she would be. He is the complete opposite of Matt.
“Hi, Frank,” I say, making my presence known in the room.
Frank’s head whips around to face me. He smiles, immediately standing up to give me a gentle hug, “You look beautiful,” he whispers in my ear.
“Thank you.”
Chrissie comes down the stairs, “You’re Frank?”
He nods, giving her a smile.
“Nice to meet you, Amber has not stopped talking about you, so I had to see what was so great about you myself,” she says.
“Chrissie!” my face lights up bright red. She is trying to embarrass me. She is like how a father should be or something.
Frank raises his eyebrows, “Does she?”
My mother steps in, laughing, “Chrissie, go clean you room,” she then turns to Frank and I. “You kids have fun, okay?”
My mom gives Frank a hug and then put her arms around me, “He’s adorable, Amber. I like this one,” she whispers in my ear.
So do I.
Note: This story makes me happy :)
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