FicWad

Hi there strangers! I am terribly sorry I haven`t updated this in ages, I honestly am. I have been so busy. I don`t like this chapter one bit, but it is really only filler so...I hope someone likes it anyway, please let me know if you do
xoxodakota
Gerard`s pov
I sigh, ducking my head to shield myself from the red haired Faye, not wishing to meet her curious amber eyes.
“Where do I even begin?” I sigh, frowning down at her, wishing she would just disappear. I wished the whole damn world would disappear.
Faye smiled up at me shyly, tucking a lock of red hair behind her ear. “At the beginning, I suppose?”
If only it was that easy. I shake my head, letting her know I was not going to talk to her, my irritating, dark hair going everywhere.
Faye sighs quietly, rolling her eyes. “Gerard, please, please let someone in, if not me, your brother, or Ray or Bob. Someone, anyone. Just please.” She looks up at me, her eyes wide and almost pleading with me. “You have to let us help you, your friends aren’t stupid, Gerard. They know something isn`t right.”
“No, I don`t think so, Faye.” I spit out her name, cursing the short, pale girl mentally, wishing she could just go away. I was jealous, I admit it. Jealous that Frank clearly liked her more than he ever liked me. That was fine.
She looks hurt, her amber eyes glistening with what could possibly be tears, but she rapidly blinks them back. Good, I was most definitely not going to comfort her. If she wanted someone to do that, she may as well go running off to Frank, I`m sure he wouldn’t mind.
“Bye, Bye, Faye.” I turn and walk away, my feet dragging on the cracked, dirty concrete, never once lifting my lowered head or looking back over my shoulder to see if she was still there or if she too had begun to leave. I didn’t care either way. She wasn`t my problem.
It was alright for her, wasn’t it? I bitterly think to myself, kicking a crumbling stone down the pathway, watching satisfied as it vanishes under someone`s hedge. Faye had a fucking brilliant life, perfect I bet. She probably had loads of friends, a loving family to go back to, she wasn’t frightened to be herself. And to top it all off, she had Frank, the person I had loved for as long as I could remember. I bet he loved her, cherished her. I bet he worshiped the fucking ground she walked on.
You have one new message. My phone bleeps, alerting me of a new message. Most likely it was from the stupid phone company. Nope, my kid brother. I groan, and place it back in my pocket, not in the mood to talk to him. Faye had probably gone and told them all about what happened, she was probably sitting there with Frank right now, doing her best impression of trying to eat his face.
I suppose somewhere deep down I suppose I knew I was being extremely unfair to her, after all she didn’t seem horrible, she had actually seemed concerned about me, her earlier smiles had appeared to be genuine. I just didn’t want her to have Frank, anyone who has ever lost the person they loved the most in the world to someone else will understand. Even though I had been ignoring him for motnhs, it did not mean that I no longer loved him, because I did. So much, so God damn much. I loved Frank Iero so fucking much it physically hurt me.
I knew I had no right to feel like this, or to envy Faye, to wish it was me instead of her. And yet I did.
Frank`s pov
I left the park a little while after Faye had left to find Gerard, not really wanting to face her when she got back. Don’t get me wrong I liked the girl, but I was starting to think she had the wrong idea or something. It was true, she was pretty, and kind, but I just didn’t like her that way.
I sigh defeatedly, and press play on my IPod, the familiar and comforting music blasting into my ears, blocking out the outside world, shielding me from the cold, harsh reality. It had been months now, and it still hurt me, I still cried myself to sleep over it most nights. I missed those long, happy days just messing around with each other, talking about the most random, stupidest things. I missed Gerard, I missed my best friend. I hadn’t a clue where he had gone, or what had changed. I craved to have just one day with everything as it used to be, just one. But it wasn’t possible, it was never going to happen, was it? For some reason, unknown to me, he now hated my guts, and let me tell you, it hurt like hell.
I just didn’t understand it. What had happened, what had gone wrong? One day everything seemed normal, perfect, and then the next…Gerard started ignoring me, not answering my calls or replying to my many, worried texts. He walked right past me at school, and sat all alone by the trash cans or in the library reading or drawing. He wouldn’t talk to me at all and he even moved seats in all of our lessons and if I ever went near him he would pretend I wasn`t there and then walk away.
Was it something I had done? I hadn’t ever meant to hurt him, or offend him. I don’t see how I could have. And yet, something must have happened, something obviously went wrong in our friendship, otherwise it would still be the same today and we would be still be inseparable.
I sigh again, drawing it out, and collapse down onto my bed. I pull the red covers tightly around my little body, cocooning myself in them, protecting myself from the outside world.
“I miss you Gee…I really do…” I choke out in a voice n more than a whisper, a hurt, tired and confused whisper. Salty, tears I hadn’t realised were there begun escaping from my tired eyes. I do noticing to stop them. I can’t even find the energy to wipe them away.
“Why do you hate me, why?”