Categories > Celebrities > AFI > One False Move.


by A-Fire-Inside12_21 2 reviews

Category: AFI - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2011-10-30 - Updated: 2011-10-30 - 2962 words

(6 months later)
Adam and Hunter were walking ahead of us, laughing at a joke that I had not been paying attention to. We were all walking back to our hotel rooms, AFI, the guys back together again.

“Come on Davey, it was funny!” chuckled Jade as he fell into step with me behind Adam and Hunter. I merely grunted in response.

AFI was back together and I couldn't be happier and I was eternally grateful to Jade for rescuing me, but I still can't help thinking what would have happened if he hadn’t found me. I would probably be with Jessica, whether in heaven or hell I do not know, nor do I think I would have cared.

I can think and talk about her now, without getting chocked up or becoming emotionally unstable . Although I won't say it hasn't been tough. Especially the first 3 months. After Jade found me 'that night' I was a complete wreak, emotionally and physically. I sometimes think about how he 'saved' me. Jade doesn't like the word, but I can't think of a better one to use in this instance.

Even though it's been 6 months, I can still see it crystal clear in my mind …

I stared down at my last bullet, I couldn't believe my luck. I was sure it wouldn't hurt, and I knew no one would miss me. “I would be with Jessica again.” I had whispered to myself, barley audible. My eyes were wide with realization. One shot, that's all it would have taken. One shot for my life to have been over. One shot to have escaped.

I put the last bullet into the magazine of the gun and flipped it closed, hearing a reassuring click. I slowly lifted my arm, gun in hand, and pointed it at my temple. I looked straight ahead of me. Someone outside was yelling or was it calling? I hadn't been sure. I had just wanted them to shut up. “I'm trying to kill myself here!” I thought angrily.

Again I looked straight ahead, but the person outside was still yelling! “For the love of God!” I once again put the gun to my head and had wrapped my hand tightly around it. My index finger was moving, as if in slow motion, towards the trigger. Closer and closer. Closer and closer to Jessica.

The door burst open! “What the fuck?” I yelled turning to look at the door.

“Davey! What the fuck?” yelled Jade. There he stood, it could have been yesterday that he told me I was kicked out of AFI. He didn't look any different. From his face, slightly round with his bangs hanging over one eye, all the way down to the floor.

My expression must have been shocked, because he looked slightly confused. He then saw the gun, wavering just millimeters from the side of my head.

“Davey! What the fuck are you doing?” Jade asked again. I didn't say anything, I just stared at him coming to grips that he was actually in front of me and not a mirage.

While he waited for an answer, Jade looked around the room. First he took in the unkempt bed and empty liquor bottles surrounding the room. Then his eyes fell onto Jessica, dead and broken.

“What happened here?” Jade had asked me,slowly, I could tell he was putting it all together in his mind.

“I … I … I” My words had choked in my throat, I felt the sting of tears leave my eyes and fall onto my cheeks. I know it's not 'manly' but I didn't care at the time. I just wanted to die. To leave this damned place behind me.

I felt the coolness of the gun leave my hand and be replaced by warmth. Jade had removed the gun from my hand and put it in his pocket, hidden away from sight. Both of his hands were wrapped around one of mine. It felt comforting, like he was giving me the love of a brother.

My legs had given way from under me and I crashed to the ground. Tears still streaming out of my eyes. Jade put his arms underneath my shoulders and made me lean on him, baring all of my weight.

“You know,” he said, struggling to walk to the door “I reckon you've put on a few pounds.”

“and that really helps with my self esteem and all.” I shot back at him, trying to wipe away my tears with the back of my hand.

When we reached the door to my hotel room, we both turned around and looked down at Jessica's body.

“What do you suppose we do with her?” Jade asked.

“We'll come back in the morning, any longer and she'll start to stink up the place.”

“Argh! … gross. Okay, lets go before I vomit.”

The next morning Jade and I came back to the hotel room, along with Adam and Hunter.

“So, remind me again WHY we're helping you do this?” asked Hunter as Adam and Jade wheeled through the door, a washing cart they got from the room attendant down the hall.

“Because, we're his friends and band mates. What other reason do you need?” huffed Jade as he and Hunter picked up Jessica's body and put her at the bottom of the cart, then started piling clothes and dirty sheets on top of her.

“Okay so, Davey, you and Hunter hide in the cart under the sheets while Adam and I push it down to the laundry. Once there, Adam will get the car and we'll put Jessica in the trunk.” Jade told me. Going through the plan we had come up with last night.

I merely nodded in response. I was still in shock from last night and hardly anything was sinking in. Before I knew it, Hunter had dragged me over to the laundry cart and was trying to help me in. I hopped in and covered myself in dirty laundry. Hunter followed me and we both laid there among the sheets. Jessica's body out of view due to other sheets and towels covering her. I couldn't bear to look. It was bad enough being so close to the body that I had shot less than 24 hours ago.

I felt the cart lurch forward and the heard the closing of the hotel room door. Adam and Jade pushed the cart into one of the service elevators and we descended.

I looked across at Hunter and saw that he was looking back at me with sad eyes. “I'm glad you're back” he mouthed to me. I felt the surge of tears about to spill over my eyes. What was wrong with me? I've been so emotional in the last few hours that I'm crying when I should be smiling!

The elevator stopped and Jade and Adam pushed the cart into the hotel's massive laundry. I could hear the rumbling of washing machines and dryers.

“It's empty, there's nobody here.” Adam said to us, pulling the sheets and towels off of us as he did so. Hunter and I jumped out of the laundry cart and bent down to collect Jessica. As I held part of her body I kept my eyes diverted from her. Looking at anything else except what was in my hands.

“Okay, Adam's gone to get the car. Do you want to wrap her up or something?” Jade asked me.

“I guess we should.” I answered back with a sigh.

Hunter and Jade got some of the sheets that were in the laundry cart and wrapped up Jessica's body. It looked like a poorly sewed together body bag, but it was better than seeing her lifeless form.

Adam arrived with the car and we put Jessica in the trunk of the car. After we had all piled into the car, Adam took off.

After about a 20 minute drive I realized that we were headed for the local gardens.

“Why are we going here?” I asked.

“Well last night you kept murmuring something about the gardens. So I thought you would want to bury her here.” Jade said, turning around in the front seat to get a good look at me.

“I don't remember that.” I said, frowning slightly at trying to remember.

“I suppose you wouldn't. You were a real wreck last night. After we left the hotel room, it was like you broke your facade and just turned numb.” Jade answered me.

As Adam turned onto the drive-way that took us through the grounds, I remembered. The gardens were Jessica's favorite place to come when she had had a bad day, or when she felt as though her life had turned to shit. I remember her telling me that she loved coming to the lake, in the center of the grounds and just listening to the soft sound of running water.

As Adam pulled up, I looked up and saw that he had parked right where Jessica had said was her favorite place to reflect. The lake. It was beautiful! Just like her …

“Davey, get out of the car. We have to do this quickly before anyone starts becoming suspicious.” Hunter said to me as he got out of the car. I followed suit and stepped out of the car, into the fresh air.

I walked around to the front and leaned against it. Ignoring Hunter and Jade trying to heave Jessica out of the trunk.

“It's gorgeous here.” Adam suddenly said. I jumped, he had silently walked around to stand by my side.

“Just like her.” I voiced to him. We leaned against the car in peaceful silence for what could have been years, but nothing can last forever. Especially if you want it to.

“Hey Davey. Come look at this.” said Jade's voice interrupting my daydreams.

“What is it?” I asked, turning around and heading over to where he was standing. It was a beautiful little spot, out of eye sight. It was a small area between some trees, the ground was bare and it was big enough for someone to lie down.

“She had this in her pocket.” Jade said handing me a small envelope.

I took it from him and looked at the front. 'Davey' was inscribed on it in Jessica's handwriting. I opened it slowly, half afraid and half excited about what would be inside.

It was a letter. I opened it and my emotions broke down. I crumpled. For the ump-teenth time today, I started to cry. Through blurred vision I looked down at the two words written on the small piece of paper...

'Por Siempre'

“Davey, whats wrong?” Jade asked running over to me and placing his arms around my shoulders. I couldn't do anything else except show him the piece of paper in my hands.

“Forever.” he whispered, I turned around in his grip and saw him looking at me with remorse and pain.

I turned towards Jade's chest and let my tears run onto his shirt. He wrapped both his arms around me. It was comforting, like he was keeping me together. Our embrace lasted a few moments before Adam, who had followed me thorough to the small area, suggested we bury Jessica.

I decided to help dig her grave. It felt good to be doing something physical. It helped with the pain.

Once the grave we had dug was deep and wide enough, I placed her body into it. I knew I had to do it. I had to be the one who had finally put her to rest. I picked up Jessica's body. It felt cool to touch and her body had become limp.

Tears again escaped from my eyes as I place Jessica into her grave. After piling all the dirt into the grave, I said a few words.

“She was amazing”I started, I know that line sounds so cliquche now as I think back to it, but it was what I felt I had to say. “She was probably the best thing to happen to my life, well except for you guys.” I said, looking around at Hunter, Adam and Jade. They're heads bent down in remorse.

“She was just … everything to me. I loved her so much, but she's been put to rest now. I'm happy that she's here, it's so beautiful.” A little smile escaped my lips. I was forever happy that Jessica would be here, by the lake. A place so peaceful, away from the heart-ache of real life.

We all kept our heads bowed and stood there for a minute silence. After that, AFI headed back to the car and drove away. Leaving Jessica behind, in the most beautiful resting place on earth. A place where she could finally escape …


The next six months were torture. I refused to eat and sleep, just taking care of myself was a struggle. Instead of the events that had happened 'that night' slowly coming back into my mind, they all came flooding in at once. It almost drove me insane.

I saw shrinks, psychic mediums (of which I was against, until Jade literally lifted me off the ground and carried me into the building), dietitians to get me to eat again and a whole bunch of other doctors.

I had to stay in a “nuthouse” on what the guards called 'suicide watch'. They thought I was going to kill myself, but after being in the “nuthouse” with other people who supposedly were dealing with the same problems as me for 4 months, I was over my depressive state.

Actually I was over any state. A week after I had been released I couldn't be bothered getting up, I couldn't be bothered doing anything. Even though my stomach was growling in anticipation for food and my mouth was as dry as, I still didn't get up.

Adam came into check if I was okay, but I didn't talk to him nor did I talk to Hunter or Jade when he called them in. They thought I was back in my depressive state again, so they hid anything I could have used to try and kill myself. Curtains, bedsheets, rope of any kind, chairs in case I tried to hang myself from the ceiling. Anything that looked like a 'weapon' was taken out of my room.

I stayed in this death-like state for the next three days. I became increasingly thin again and my personal hygiene wasn't coping to well either. One day Jade became sick of the stench I was giving off and chucked a bucketful of freezing cold water on me. Drenching me and my mattress.

I guess that was some sort of a wake up call. So I finally decided to get up and eat something. I was so thin, that my boxers would have slipped off of me and onto the ground, if I had not caught them. My baggy t-shirt that I had been lying in for the past 3 days was so big on me that it looked like a child was wearing a mans XXL sized shirt.

I walked through the house into the kitchen. Much to the surprise of Jade, Hunter and Adam. Without saying a word I made myself cereal, sat down and ate my first meal in three days.

That was my first step to recovery. After that, I saw many other doctors. Too many to count.

As I said, I can now talk about Jessica. Although I never told the full story of how she died. Nobody knows except us four. AFI.

The day after we buried Jessica, there was a whole crime scene at my hotel room. It was all over the news. Every channel was either blaring “Murder at Hotel” or “Blood Spilled, but No Body”.

For some reason, I never got a call from the hotel, nor from the police. I was scared the first time the headlines appeared on the television. I was sure that I would be getting a phone call saying they expected me in court for suspected murder, but noone rang.

A week after the headlines started my feeling of being scared, turned into curiosity. I was sure that my finger prints had been on all of the liquor bottles, that surely would have been littering the crime scene.

Although, there was no mention of the hotel room being trashed. On occasion a news reporter stated that the room “looked absolutely spotless.” and another stated “the room was clean and tidy, excepted for the blood soaking into the carpet.”

I was baffled by this. I was sure I would have been caught, when Jade, Hunter, Adam and I left that hotel room. It was a wreck! But now they're saying it was spotless?

I didn't understand how this could have happened until one news station revealed the video footage from 'that night'. It didn't show AFI going into the hotel room, nor did it show Adam and Jade pushing out a full laundry cart.

All it showed was a room attendantt walking into the room, shutting the door and then opening it an hour later and leaving. The funny thing was, all she had was a trolley full of cleaning products and I could have sworn I saw 'laundry' embroided on the back of her shirt.

It seems that I have friends in the most unexpected places.

That's behind me now. I'm getting better at controlling my emotions and I can openly have a joke with the guys.

So now it's time to move on with my life, and the next time I meet a girl. We certainly don't want another 'Jessica' to happen.


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