Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We're Just Two Men As God Had Made Us
Chapter 16
Frank's POV
I felt my stomach drop. "Read it to me from the beginning."
Mikey took a shaky breath and began reading:
To all my boys; Bob, Ray, Mikey, and Frank: I'm sorry. I'm writing this letter to tell you all goodbye. This is the end of the road for me. I apologize if I'm being confusing; let me explain.
Six months ago, I was diagnosed with stage two small cell lung cancer. That was what was causing my chest pains. No surprise here, the cancer was from my smoking. At that point, I had been having chest pains for a month or so. So by the time I went to the hospital, it was too late to do anything to cure it. They gave me chemo pills to help prolong my life, giving me a little more time with you all. I decided not to tell anyone, because I didn't want your pity. I'd hate your pity. I wanted to live life the same way up until the very end, which I have. I'm sorry if you hate me for keeping it from you, but it was important for me to do so.
Bob- Man, you are one of the most laid back guys I've ever known, but you can still throw one hell of a party. Thank you so much for drumming for My Chem these past few years. You definitely know how to hit it harder! Take care of Mikey for me when I'm gone, will ya?
Ray- I know Frank thinks he can beat you in a guitar playing contest, but honestly? He stands no chance (sorry, babe). You're way too good for him. Keep playing no matter what. You have too much fucking raw talent to ever quit. Watch out for all the boys. You've always been like the older brother to all of us. Love you, man.
Mikey- You're one of the best baby brother anyone could ever ask for. You've been with me since you were born, and I can't even tell you how much I'll miss seeing you, with your fluffy hair, glasses, and just overall awkwardness. I love you, Mikey. Good luck with Alicia, little bro. It's time to put a ring on that girl's finger, don't you think?
And Frank. My beautiful Frankie. As I write this, I hate myself more and more for not telling you about my condition. I had always promised you that I'd tell you everything, and I broke that promise. I'm so sorry. You remember our rings? They say 'till my dying day' on the inside. Even though my dying day has come way too soon, I will go into the ground with a smile on my face, knowing that at last the last year and a half of my life was wonderful because I had you, as mine to love. I still remember the first time we kissed, and I can still feel your trembling skin against mine. Those are the kinds of things I want you to remember. Happy memories. And Frankie, remember my words in our song 'Famous Last Words'. They're for you: "I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone." Just because I'm going to be gone doesn't mean everything just stops. Never feel that way. Don't grieve for me any longer than you have to. That goes for all of you. I love you so much Frankie that it hurts, and the hardest part of this is leaving you. I want you to think of me often, and think of me fondly. Never regret, and never forget me, love.
So to all of you, once again, I'm sorry. I love each of you dearly, and I'll miss you all. And, as you've probably figured out by now, I wrote the entire Black Parade album sort of as agoodbye. It's your guys' choice whether or not you still want to release it after I'm gone, but I say you should. It's really a great work of art.
Well, I'm not going to drag this out any longer than I have to, so I guess it's time for me to leave. I'll be going to the closest hospital to finish my last hours. So that's it then. Come visit me in hell, motherfuckers. I'll need some company. Love you all. Goodbye, goodnight for good.
-G
I let out a strangled cry and sank to the ground. I could still hear Mikey on the other end, for I had the phone pressed tightly to my ear. I could tell he was trying his best to keep calm, so that he could talk to me. I didn't care what he had to say, though. How could I? All I could think was, "Oh my god," over and over again. This couldn't be right. My Gerard couldn't just up and die like this! He was invincible! I had worked myself into such a state, howling with pain that terrorized my heart, that I almost didn't hear Mikey shout my name, getting my attention.
"FRANK! You need to calm down. You need to start thinking clearly-"
"Oh god, Mikey! I'm never going to see him again!" I sobbed.
"Okay shut the fuck up for five seconds and listen to me! He couldn't have left this more than a couple of hours ago. So there's still time. I need you to get the fastest flight you can back here and get your ass straight to the hospital. I'm going right now to find him; to keep him holding on until you get here. I'll call the boys, too."
I took a deep breath to calm myself. I could do this.
"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Frank's POV
I felt my stomach drop. "Read it to me from the beginning."
Mikey took a shaky breath and began reading:
To all my boys; Bob, Ray, Mikey, and Frank: I'm sorry. I'm writing this letter to tell you all goodbye. This is the end of the road for me. I apologize if I'm being confusing; let me explain.
Six months ago, I was diagnosed with stage two small cell lung cancer. That was what was causing my chest pains. No surprise here, the cancer was from my smoking. At that point, I had been having chest pains for a month or so. So by the time I went to the hospital, it was too late to do anything to cure it. They gave me chemo pills to help prolong my life, giving me a little more time with you all. I decided not to tell anyone, because I didn't want your pity. I'd hate your pity. I wanted to live life the same way up until the very end, which I have. I'm sorry if you hate me for keeping it from you, but it was important for me to do so.
Bob- Man, you are one of the most laid back guys I've ever known, but you can still throw one hell of a party. Thank you so much for drumming for My Chem these past few years. You definitely know how to hit it harder! Take care of Mikey for me when I'm gone, will ya?
Ray- I know Frank thinks he can beat you in a guitar playing contest, but honestly? He stands no chance (sorry, babe). You're way too good for him. Keep playing no matter what. You have too much fucking raw talent to ever quit. Watch out for all the boys. You've always been like the older brother to all of us. Love you, man.
Mikey- You're one of the best baby brother anyone could ever ask for. You've been with me since you were born, and I can't even tell you how much I'll miss seeing you, with your fluffy hair, glasses, and just overall awkwardness. I love you, Mikey. Good luck with Alicia, little bro. It's time to put a ring on that girl's finger, don't you think?
And Frank. My beautiful Frankie. As I write this, I hate myself more and more for not telling you about my condition. I had always promised you that I'd tell you everything, and I broke that promise. I'm so sorry. You remember our rings? They say 'till my dying day' on the inside. Even though my dying day has come way too soon, I will go into the ground with a smile on my face, knowing that at last the last year and a half of my life was wonderful because I had you, as mine to love. I still remember the first time we kissed, and I can still feel your trembling skin against mine. Those are the kinds of things I want you to remember. Happy memories. And Frankie, remember my words in our song 'Famous Last Words'. They're for you: "I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone." Just because I'm going to be gone doesn't mean everything just stops. Never feel that way. Don't grieve for me any longer than you have to. That goes for all of you. I love you so much Frankie that it hurts, and the hardest part of this is leaving you. I want you to think of me often, and think of me fondly. Never regret, and never forget me, love.
So to all of you, once again, I'm sorry. I love each of you dearly, and I'll miss you all. And, as you've probably figured out by now, I wrote the entire Black Parade album sort of as agoodbye. It's your guys' choice whether or not you still want to release it after I'm gone, but I say you should. It's really a great work of art.
Well, I'm not going to drag this out any longer than I have to, so I guess it's time for me to leave. I'll be going to the closest hospital to finish my last hours. So that's it then. Come visit me in hell, motherfuckers. I'll need some company. Love you all. Goodbye, goodnight for good.
-G
I let out a strangled cry and sank to the ground. I could still hear Mikey on the other end, for I had the phone pressed tightly to my ear. I could tell he was trying his best to keep calm, so that he could talk to me. I didn't care what he had to say, though. How could I? All I could think was, "Oh my god," over and over again. This couldn't be right. My Gerard couldn't just up and die like this! He was invincible! I had worked myself into such a state, howling with pain that terrorized my heart, that I almost didn't hear Mikey shout my name, getting my attention.
"FRANK! You need to calm down. You need to start thinking clearly-"
"Oh god, Mikey! I'm never going to see him again!" I sobbed.
"Okay shut the fuck up for five seconds and listen to me! He couldn't have left this more than a couple of hours ago. So there's still time. I need you to get the fastest flight you can back here and get your ass straight to the hospital. I'm going right now to find him; to keep him holding on until you get here. I'll call the boys, too."
I took a deep breath to calm myself. I could do this.
"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."
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