FicWad

Amelie stared at the hand, and up at the man whom it belonged to. At that moment, she thanked she was on drugs, or else she would have dropped down to another attack. She was almost certain she would never meet him again. He had fucked her, how on Earth does Mr. Lee think it’s going to cure her?

“Hello Mr. Way, it’s a pleasure to meet you...” Amelie shook his hand and paused, staring at his bright hazel eyes “Again.” She continued.

“You’ve met before?” Mr. Lee inquired.

“Yes, we have, I offered her my train compartment when I was on my way here” Gerard quickly replied, seeing Amelie blush slightly. He didn’t like how she seemed so professional meeting him again. He wanted to remind her that they shared something, a brief and passionate encounter that he wanted to happen again.

“Thank you for that, I’m sorry I left abruptly, I thought I was going to be late for a meeting” Amelie excused herself, sitting down again and facing Mr. Lee.

“Sit Gerard, and your friends, please…” Mr. Lee continued, seeming suddenly weary. His hands drummed against the oak desk and stared intently at the raven haired girl, a daughter to him, so fragile and delicate that drove him to this conclusion.

“To be straight forward with you, Amelie, I’ve known all these years that you were struggling. I chose to push you further because I thought it would be best for you. A driving force helped Simon, your father, to live greatly. It was also a way to strengthen you for the court in the future. But I realized, as you progressed, your brilliance in work came with a price of your sanity.” Mr. Lee said softly.

Amelie stared at her mentor, almost a father to her as well, and had tears in her eyes. She inhaled slowly and kept her composure. She knew better than to interrupt despite all the questions in her mind.

“I have to admit, I know a bit of your disorder. Your father suffered mostly depression, but he had a side of general anxiety disorder. You know Simon had a lot. However I can’t seem to cure you, though I have tried my way…” Mr. Lee paused and stared again. He knew he had to be careful, this was his craziest idea yet, but he was sure it would help Amelie. He didn’t want to think of what would happen if it didn’t work. He wanted this young woman to get better, for all the love he had for her father and her.

“My grandson, Gerard, is in band in America. I know the pressure of being under so many criticizing eyes would be bad for you, but he’s going into recording a new album. From our talk, it would take him about 6 months before the record is finished. Within those 6 months, I would like you take a hiatus from work and studying, and spend it under his company” Mr. Lee said seriously.

Amelie gasped. She snapped her head quickly to Gerard and stared at him, this time with intense hate. “You want me to live with him?” she hissed, standing up. “Mr. Lee, Joe, I have such great respect for you. You know more than anything. I have been your apprentice, your assistant, your secretary, your prodigy. I know you mean well, but nothing good can come out of this. I barely know your grandson, despite his fame, I refuse to submit myself to something as unusual as this. With all due respect, I have been to the best psychologists. He has nothing to offer me” Amelie spoke low and harshly. Gerard gripped the arm of the chair tighter, in anger to her aggression.

“Amelie, please sit and listen.” Mr. Lee requested. Amelie turned to stare at Gerard and slowly sat down.

“Gerard has numerous experienced with drugs and depression. The fact that he has recovered from it puts an edge to all your doctors. How can you expect them to treat you when they don’t know what you’re going through? I view that immersion with him can benefit you. He can help you more than these pills can because he has gone through a similar sort. If your father was alive, if Simon was alive, he would want this” Mr. Lee pressed on.

“What makes you think my father would want that? He left me. He killed himself.” Amelie spoke, her voice soft and sad.

“His will.” Mr. Lee revealed a document. Amelie stared in shock, she had never asked for it before as she blamed her father for leaving her. Her hands grasped the crisp white paper.

“It states, that all his assets and stocks, including the partnership of this firm, be transferred on to his wife and daughter. In the event that his wife is incapable of managing, it goes directly to you. However, it cannot be passed on to you unless you are psychologically fit to handle the conditions presented.” Mr. Lee dictated. Amelie stared at the assets listed, the amounts bigger than she imagined. But only one thing caught her attention. The partnership of the firm was on the list.

“I understand. “ Amelie said curtly. She rubbed her temple with her left hand in disbelief. “It also states that the psychological factor is determined by a doctor and by you, Joe” Amelie continued. “Yes, and I know you’re not ready. Please, Amelie, I beg you. What is 6 months of a vacation to America for you to sort yourself out. Give my theory a chance. After 6 months, you can return and continue on with a treatment you prefer. I truly believe Gerard can help you. I have faith in my grandson. I have faith that you can get better.” Mr. Lee pleaded.

Amelie turned to Gerard again. “What do you think of this?” she asked, gesturing to Mr. Lee and his demand.

“I believe it’s worth a shot” Gerard said, trying his best to sound convincing. In all honesty, he knew his crazy grandfather would not suggest something that wouldn’t work out. He remembered when he was 5, Elena and Joe had visited him. Gerard ran crying because he couldn’t dance well, unlike his cousins. His grandfather handed him a pencil and a paper pad. “Maybe you’re meant for other things, give this a try?” His grandfather handed him his first pencil and saw his first drawing.
Gerard snapped out of his reverie and continued on “Gramps always had crazy ideas. I’ve talked to him earlier about your disorder, it may be far from alcoholism or drug addiction, but hey I guess the despair doesn’t really discriminate”.

Amelie felt her stomach sink in. He knew her! He knew her disorder and he took advantage of her earlier. She stared at him disgustingly.

“No…no…I mean, I knew of your disorder but I’ve never met you or seen you before. Just your disorder.” Gerard quickly followed, seeing her reaction.

Amelie sat, in her mentors office surrounded by a man she hardly knew. Earlier, she had moaned his name as he kissed her shoulders, her back, her lips. His hands had caressed her and flowed through her body, soaking up every inch of her skin. She had loved it. But now, she sat there staring at her mentor and Gerard, knowing full well that the intrusion to her life required her cooperation.

How can she do this? She doesn’t even know him. She trusted Mr. Lee and he turns her over to a man that used her. However Amelie didn’t have the heart to tell the old man that his grandson had used her on the train, or worse is that she enjoyed it. What if they were both right? What if a couple of months to rest was the cure to her panic and anxiety. She thought of all the days she woke up crying, slept crying, and spent every waking moment worrying. The panic grew each month.

She would shake for hours in the morning that made getting to work a challenge every day. She would shake slightly, constantly haunted by the fear and worry that overwhelmed her. It caused her to forget details because she was too consumed by the anxiety of making mistakes. Each time she would tell herself to stop, it would get worse. The thoughts of making mistakes or even decisions haunted her so badly that she couldn’t work well. She avoided socializing in fear, resulting in her being alone. She once had a fiancée, Adam, but he gave up on her.

What if Gerard would give up on her too?

Suddenly, Amelie realized that she was sick of worrying. Worrying about the decision itself would cause her to decline the offer, decline her father’s legacy of owning the partnership. Amelie kicked herself mentally, struggling the next few words.

“I accept” she said, her voice nearly faltering.

“I won’t ask you twice, you know we don’t do that in court, might give the jury second thoughts” Mr. Lee said, being his old self again. He was thankful Amelie was going to try. It seemed easier than he thought.

“What happens now?” Amelie asked. A slight tone of panic was set in her voice as she desperately tried to calm down. Her mind was going through a hundred different ways it could go wrong. She inhaled and exhaled deeply, clinging to her medication and hoping it would help her find a bit of peace.

“You’re with Gerard starting tomorrow; he leaves for America in 2 days. As for the office, you’re on a sabbatical. I’m not letting you completely resign.” Mr. Lee stated, then smiling kindly at his grandson.

Amelie nodded. She stepped up and hugged Mr. Lee, giving a brief but shaky smile. Gerard gave a hug as well. Amelie turned, unaware of the other men in the room, and walked slightly faster than usual.

“You guys go ahead up front, I’ll just see if Amelie needs help” Gerard said.

“She seemed shaky. Man, I thought my granddad was crazy!” Frank exclaimed. Ray shuffled a bit, seeming uncomfortable at the big law firm. “Yeah I get you man, too businessy, we look odd. Let’s get out, I need a smoke” Frank nudged Ray. He nodded to Gerard and headed out.

Gerard quickly followed Amelie. He found her staring at her office. She seemed unaware and vacant. He sat beside her and waited for her reaction. He looked around and noted her office seemed too organized, everything piled neatly. Even the pens were aligned according to size. At the desk was a photo of her with a man. The man looked familiar but Gerard shook it off. He couldn’t shake off the fact that he was a tiny bit jealous. Calm down, Gerard thought. He had met her today, true he was attracted, but pain from his past still overcame the attraction. Earlier in the train, he thought that maybe she was his second chance. A part of Gerard still hoped she was, but a bigger part reminded him of his divorce and the pain it put him through.

As he sat, Amelie was struggling with her demons too. She was unaware Gerard was next to her. She thought of all the fears she had let accumulate in her life. All the things Adam wanted to do that she couldn’t, out of fear, and that he had gotten fed up of her and left. She thought of living every day crying, for little or almost no reasons, until she might completely hole up. The Japanese had called it “hikikomori”, holing up in complete isolation out of fear from the outside world. She didn’t want it to come to that, but every day it was so hard to face people in fear of possible mistakes. Possible. That was the worst of it all, worrying about things that haven’t actually happened yet. The fear of the future haunted her present and caused her to regret her past. Today was a big change, she was going to face it. She looked up at the photo of Adam, remembering all her 4 years with him and his promises. Hoping that Gerard would be different, after all he wasn’t a fiancée, he was just a pseudo therapist.

“You ok?” Gerard asked quietly.

“It’s weird. I guess I have no control over things completely. It’s funny how you were just fucking me a few hours ago and now you’re suppose to help me for 6 months. It’s ridiculously stupid but I have to agree to it.” Amelie said, her voice soft and faint.

Gerard rested his hand on hers. “Why did you agree?”

“I wanted some sort of salvation from being too frightened to actually live” Amelie said. She stared into his bright hazel eyes. A stupid part of her wished he felt something for her, but she brushed it off.

She broke the tension my removing her hand and standing up. “Let me just grab a couple of stuff, where are we going next?” Amelie asked.

Gerard checked the time and looked up, smiling at her. “Let’s grab dinner, I want you to meet the guys”.

“Dinner? Guys?” Amelie felt a small surge of panic.

“It’s not just me you have to deal with. I’ve got some band mates you should meet. They’ll be recording with me of course.” Gerard replied.

Amelie stood up and walked to her desk. She grabbed the photo of her and her ex-fiancee, tracing her fingers over his image. She remembered how irritated he had been when she refused to be close to his friends, out of fear. She remembered how much she missed him, suddenly wishing he was back.

Gerard reached out and rubbed her back gently. “You’re not alone” he whispered, as if he knew what she had felt. Amelie turned around and managed to put on a smile. Gerard stared at her, captivated by her black hair framing her delicate face and big brown eyes. Her soft full lips drew him in, her olive skin made him want to feel every inch of it. This woman he barely knew drove him back and forth opposite ends. One minute he wanted to be careful, now he wanted to take her.

She seemed so beautiful to him, despite her fragile state of mind. He wanted nothing more than to press his lips against her soft ones, hear her gasp as he would cup her face or run his fingers through her hair. Gerard wanted to hold Amelie close, feel her every breath against him and kiss her.

He leaned in gently. She leaned in to meet him. Two broken souls seeking freedom from each other as their lips collided.