FicWad

I think that I'm falling in love with Jagger. I know I'm only fourteen, but I care so much about him that I just can't stand even being away from him anymore.

He snuck into my room last night. He just climbed that tree. You know... the really big one outside my window. I thought for sure Frank would say something to my mom the next time he saw her, considering he was watching the entire time from his living room, but he didn't. Jagger probably intimidates him too much!

Anyway, we fell asleep on my bed, just kind of curled up together. Since I set my own alarm, I didn't have to worry about my mom finding out. We just woke up and got ready for school together. It's funny... normally I would be terrified of letting a guy see me, but with Jagger, it just seems natural. I don't have anything to be uncomfortable about. He just accepts every little thing about me. It's that reason that I know I love him. He's the only one I'll ever feel this way about, I'm sure.

Frank just sighed and stared at the page, rereading the short journal entry. Cadence had such a one track mind that he couldn't figure out much about her and Jagger's actual relationship. He remembered the kid, sure. Jagger was pretty close to Cadie, it seemed. But they always acted like they were only best friends. Apparently not, though, behind closed doors. And honestly, why was she so worried about him telling her mom what they were up to? It had never interested him one bit. Not until now, at least.

Jagger came to their high school in the winter of 2009. It was the beginning of the second semester, and there were only a few transfers. As usual, everyone noticed who the new students were, but they could also ignore them. They couldn't ignore Jagger. He made a place for himself and settled right in with the popular crowd, not seeming to give a fuck about what anyone said behind his back.

And then there was Cadie. It was her freshman year and she finally got used to high school. She still didn't like it, but she was used to it. Frank couldn't think of a single time where she made an effort to talk to anyone she didn't know, and especially not a stuck up junior who couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life. But Jagger still talked to her, even though she ignored him. And finally, she said something back. An insult, but still a response. Jagger took it as a good sign and continued constantly bothering her until she was no longer hostile.

All hell broke loose when they became friends. Nothing was ever the same anymore. Cadie seemed to grow up overnight, learning new things from Jagger every day and 'finding herself'. But they still never gave the impression to have anything but a close friendship between them. That was why Frank couldn't get a handle on the situation very easily.

She didn't say anything about such things outside of the journal. So why were they hiding their relationship? It wasn't a big deal really. Just another little scandal that would be the topic of the latest gossip for a few weeks, and then everyone would stop caring. The only thing that was even slightly worth hiding was how much time they spent in her room at night. But everyone still thought Cadie was an innocent little kid, so it wouldn't have mattered.

Frank set the journal down on his bed and stretched slightly, yawning. He was tired, there was no doubt about that. But he didn't want to fall asleep quite yet. He grabbed his shoes from the foot of his bed and slid them on, not even bothering to tie the laces. Frank shuffled upstairs and straight out the door without a single word to his mother, who was sitting in the kitchen, watching him as he left.

The chilly air made him shudder slightly, but it could have been worse. Frank jogged across the street and up the the Way's house, going around the side and hopping over the fence into the backyard. Gerard's light was on, so he was most likely still up. Frank knelt down next to the window and knocked, chuckling as his friend quickly jumped up in surprise, then sighed in relief at the sight of him. Gerard quickly unlocked the window and pushed it open, stepping back as Frank slid in to his bedroom.

"Hey, fuckface", Frank greeted him cheerfully as he fell back onto Gerard's bed.

Gerard just muttered a quiet greeting and ran his hand through his disheveled dark hair. He didn't even raise his head. He didn't have to, though. Frank could already see his drained pallor, the dark circles under his dead eyes. Cadie didn't just kill herself, she killed Gee too. It was obvious he just didn't have anything left in him anymore... especially not the music.

Frank sighed and bit his lip, which still stung from the night before. "Gee, she's gone. You've gotta let her go. I'm not saying right now, but face it... she's not here to hold onto anymore", he said, choosing his words carefully.

Gerard just shook his head. "I can't do that, Frankie. I didn't pay enough attention when she was actually around. If I had... I could've protected her. You and I both know you're to blame for most of this. I'm not mad at you for it, I'm just hurt."

Frank stared up at Gerard's ceiling, his thoughts racing. He knew his friend was right, but it was too late to change things now. He fucked up, and it was obvious that he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. Frank opened his mouth, but the apology couldn't seem to force itself out. Cadie's death was on his shoulders, and he'd broken his best friend's heart. He understood all of that, and he could face it. It was just hard to think about why exactly he was apologizing. "I didn't mean for that to happen", he said, regaining his voice, though not quite saying what he wanted.

Gerard sighed and sat down on the edge of his desk, pushing back some of the piles of artwork that were strewn all over the surface of the furniture. "You seemed like you didn't want her there. It's not hard to figure out you didn't like her, but you didn't have to--"

"That's not true!" Frank blurted out. "I never said I didn't like her, never in my entire life."

Gerard raised his head slightly, his eyes mocking and cold. "You had no sympathy for her. You may not have said it, but you treated her like shit. I don't care if you say you didn't hate her, Frank. Cadence wanted you dead for everything you'd done", he spat, his fists clenched so hard that his knuckles were white as that of a corpse. "Don't act like you cared about her when she can't even call you a liar."

Frank was at another loss for words. His jaw seemed to be locked tight and his throat was dry. He could never tell Gerard how he had really felt about Cadence. Gee would kill him. Call him a hypocrite. A deadbeat. "Gee, I'm--"

Gerard stood abruptly. "Go home, Frank. I have things to do", he said tonelessly, though the beautiful hazel eyes that Cadence had love so much were filled with flames and agony. Frank slid off of Gerard's bed, but hesitated. "Look, I didn't mean to--"

"Just leave me the hell alone!" Gerard cried, turning away from him and pointing towards the open window.

Frank pulled himself up onto the windowsill and slipped back out into the crisp August night. Gerard didn't even bother to close the window, he just stood where he was, shoulders slumped and staring at his feet as if he didn't know what to do. He just seemed lost. Frank quickly turned away and ran across the backyard, and scaled the fence, dropping back down onto the cool cement of the sidewalk that led into the driveway.

He didn't stop until he was back in his own room, staring at the door. Frank wished he hadn't gone to see Gerard, but he just wanted to talk. He wasn't even there for more than two minutes before everything went wrong. Gee was a walking train wreck without Cadie. And it was all Frank's fault.


I have never, ever updated this fast. I don't think I have, at least. Anyways, I'm already attempting to get started on the third chapter. Now, I'm not sure how long it'll take, considering I have a lot going on between school and my boyfriend, but I'll try to have it up before the end of the month :)