Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love, I'd Never Hurt You
Frank
I gazed around my now empty apartment. After a week of packing, everything was all packed up and loaded into my car. I closed my eyes and sighed. I would miss this place. It held a lot of memories. I opened my eyes and shook my head, trying to keep the tears from falling. Why did he have to leave me? I loved him more than anything. All my friends told me that I couldn't have done anything to save him. He was deathly ill.
I took a deep breath and walked outside. I locked the door behind me and put the keys in the mailbox, like the landlord told me. I ran down the steps to my car and climbed in. I gripped the wheel and stared down at my hand. I doubted I would ever take my wedding ring off. It was the only way I still felt connected to him. I took a deep breath and started the car. I put it in reverse and backed out of the apartment parking lot. This was the first step into my road to recovery. It was never my idea to move, but my therapist said it would be good to get out of the house for a while.
So, I decided to move to a small town four hours away from here. A place where I could start fresh, a place with absolutely no reminders of Sam. He left me all alone in the world. My mom had died right after I turned eighteen, and my father died when I was young. Then, not long after I turned twenty-two, the love of my life died. We had only been married for three months. I just can't believe he's gone. I doubt I can ever love again.
I shook the thought out of my head and focused on my driving. I had a long day ahead of me. My plan was to leave early in the morning, about eight and arrive at my new apartment by noon. Unfortunately, I didn't get up until ten in the morning, so now I won't get there until two. I wanted to finish unpacking before it got too late...
I still remember that day we found out about Sam, about how sick he really was. I remember that morning, he almost stopped breathing. I was so scared... I got him to the hospital as fast as I could, and I waited for what felt like hours before the doctor came out to tell me what had happened.
**
“He has a very rare infection which is causing the different organs in his body to shut down. The infection could start anywhere. He was very lucky that it started in his lungs. If I would have started in his heart or his brain, he would have died today.” He paused, looking down at his hands, “However, there is absolutely nothing we can do to help him.”
I felt my tears falling harder, “What do you mean? You're just going to let him die!”
The doctor sighed, “I'm sorry, sir. There is no way to operate, and there is no medicine that we can give. We can put him on life support, but that's about all we can do. So, yes. Basically we are just waiting for him to die. I assure you if there was anything we could do, we would.”
I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. Sam was dying, and there was nothing the doctors could do, “How long does he have?” I stared down at the tiled floor.
The doctor sighed, “Depending on how fast it spreads, it could be anywhere between two weeks to two months. I assure you that we will try and prolong his life as long as possible, and we will make sure he is completely comfortable here.”
“I should have guessed he would have to stay here...” I shook my head, not caring about the tears.
The doctor nodded, “I'm very sorry... I can take you to him if you'd like.”
I nodded, “That would be great.”
The doctor smiled and led me down the hallway to the room Sam would be staying in. He pushed the door open, “I'll leave you two alone.”
I walked into the room and pulled the chair next to the bed where Sam was lying. He smiled, revealing his perfect teeth, contrasting greatly against his perfectly tanned skinned. At the sight of him, so happy, I couldn't help it. I started crying more than I had in the waiting room.
He reached up and put his hand on the side of my face, “Frankie, don't cry. Everything will be fine.”
I shook my head and grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers, “How can you say that? Did the doctor not talk to you?”
He sighed, “Yes, the doctor told me everything. That's still no reason to cry. I want to enjoy you while I'm still here, not matter how long that may be.”
I nodded and gently placed my lips on his. He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me deeper into the kiss. I pulled away and stared into his amazing brown eyes, “I love you.”
He smiled, “I know. I love you too, Frankie. I always have and I always will.”
“I just can't believe this is happening...” I paused, trying to hold my tears, “I don't want you to leave me. I need you, Sam.” He nodded and I could see that love that filled his eyes.
“I don't want to leave you either, but that's just the way things are working out.” He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, I could see sadness behind his love. He was just as sad about this as I was. It always amazed me at how strong he was. I could never be like that, “Frankie, I want you to promise me something.”
I nodded, “Anything.”
He grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly, “When I'm gone, I want you to move on. I want you to find someone else and love them the way you love me.”
I shook my head, tears falling again, “No... I can't do that. I could never love anyone else the way I love you.”
He shook his head. I could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall, “Frank, please. I want you to move on.”
I wrapped my arms around him, “I'll try.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. I never wanted him to let go. I wanted to stay in his arms forever.
**
I pulled off the highway and into a rest stop. I parked the car and cried. That was over three months ago and I still remember it like it happened yesterday. I remember going to the hospital every day for a week... One week. That was all the more time I had with him. It had been a week and a half after I heard the news, and I was already making funeral arrangements. Somehow, in the middle of the night, the infection got to his heart, and it stopped.
I took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts out of my mind. I had to get to my new apartment. I started my car and got back on the highway. I tried to dwell on the thoughts of Sam when we first met. He was so happy and healthy. More than anything, I wished I could go back to that time.
I gazed around my now empty apartment. After a week of packing, everything was all packed up and loaded into my car. I closed my eyes and sighed. I would miss this place. It held a lot of memories. I opened my eyes and shook my head, trying to keep the tears from falling. Why did he have to leave me? I loved him more than anything. All my friends told me that I couldn't have done anything to save him. He was deathly ill.
I took a deep breath and walked outside. I locked the door behind me and put the keys in the mailbox, like the landlord told me. I ran down the steps to my car and climbed in. I gripped the wheel and stared down at my hand. I doubted I would ever take my wedding ring off. It was the only way I still felt connected to him. I took a deep breath and started the car. I put it in reverse and backed out of the apartment parking lot. This was the first step into my road to recovery. It was never my idea to move, but my therapist said it would be good to get out of the house for a while.
So, I decided to move to a small town four hours away from here. A place where I could start fresh, a place with absolutely no reminders of Sam. He left me all alone in the world. My mom had died right after I turned eighteen, and my father died when I was young. Then, not long after I turned twenty-two, the love of my life died. We had only been married for three months. I just can't believe he's gone. I doubt I can ever love again.
I shook the thought out of my head and focused on my driving. I had a long day ahead of me. My plan was to leave early in the morning, about eight and arrive at my new apartment by noon. Unfortunately, I didn't get up until ten in the morning, so now I won't get there until two. I wanted to finish unpacking before it got too late...
I still remember that day we found out about Sam, about how sick he really was. I remember that morning, he almost stopped breathing. I was so scared... I got him to the hospital as fast as I could, and I waited for what felt like hours before the doctor came out to tell me what had happened.
**
“He has a very rare infection which is causing the different organs in his body to shut down. The infection could start anywhere. He was very lucky that it started in his lungs. If I would have started in his heart or his brain, he would have died today.” He paused, looking down at his hands, “However, there is absolutely nothing we can do to help him.”
I felt my tears falling harder, “What do you mean? You're just going to let him die!”
The doctor sighed, “I'm sorry, sir. There is no way to operate, and there is no medicine that we can give. We can put him on life support, but that's about all we can do. So, yes. Basically we are just waiting for him to die. I assure you if there was anything we could do, we would.”
I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. Sam was dying, and there was nothing the doctors could do, “How long does he have?” I stared down at the tiled floor.
The doctor sighed, “Depending on how fast it spreads, it could be anywhere between two weeks to two months. I assure you that we will try and prolong his life as long as possible, and we will make sure he is completely comfortable here.”
“I should have guessed he would have to stay here...” I shook my head, not caring about the tears.
The doctor nodded, “I'm very sorry... I can take you to him if you'd like.”
I nodded, “That would be great.”
The doctor smiled and led me down the hallway to the room Sam would be staying in. He pushed the door open, “I'll leave you two alone.”
I walked into the room and pulled the chair next to the bed where Sam was lying. He smiled, revealing his perfect teeth, contrasting greatly against his perfectly tanned skinned. At the sight of him, so happy, I couldn't help it. I started crying more than I had in the waiting room.
He reached up and put his hand on the side of my face, “Frankie, don't cry. Everything will be fine.”
I shook my head and grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers, “How can you say that? Did the doctor not talk to you?”
He sighed, “Yes, the doctor told me everything. That's still no reason to cry. I want to enjoy you while I'm still here, not matter how long that may be.”
I nodded and gently placed my lips on his. He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me deeper into the kiss. I pulled away and stared into his amazing brown eyes, “I love you.”
He smiled, “I know. I love you too, Frankie. I always have and I always will.”
“I just can't believe this is happening...” I paused, trying to hold my tears, “I don't want you to leave me. I need you, Sam.” He nodded and I could see that love that filled his eyes.
“I don't want to leave you either, but that's just the way things are working out.” He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, I could see sadness behind his love. He was just as sad about this as I was. It always amazed me at how strong he was. I could never be like that, “Frankie, I want you to promise me something.”
I nodded, “Anything.”
He grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly, “When I'm gone, I want you to move on. I want you to find someone else and love them the way you love me.”
I shook my head, tears falling again, “No... I can't do that. I could never love anyone else the way I love you.”
He shook his head. I could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall, “Frank, please. I want you to move on.”
I wrapped my arms around him, “I'll try.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. I never wanted him to let go. I wanted to stay in his arms forever.
**
I pulled off the highway and into a rest stop. I parked the car and cried. That was over three months ago and I still remember it like it happened yesterday. I remember going to the hospital every day for a week... One week. That was all the more time I had with him. It had been a week and a half after I heard the news, and I was already making funeral arrangements. Somehow, in the middle of the night, the infection got to his heart, and it stopped.
I took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts out of my mind. I had to get to my new apartment. I started my car and got back on the highway. I tried to dwell on the thoughts of Sam when we first met. He was so happy and healthy. More than anything, I wished I could go back to that time.
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