Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We Killjoys are a FAMILY and we UNITE!!!
Reviews
We Killjoys are a FAMILY and we UNITE!!!
(#) xxPanicFanxx 2012-02-18
It's really good, but just a few things. Ok this is probably gonna come off really bitchy and I hope to god it doesn't. I promise this was NOT meant to sounds mean at all.
*Spaces after periods, commas, etc.
*When someone talks, enter (if that makes any sense) it'll look something like this:
"Hi" I said.
"Hi" They said.
*Capitalize names
*Don't use so many run on sentences (ok that sounded really bitchy but I promise it wasn't meant to some off that way) put periods, commas, hyphens, etc.
*It's ok to cuss on here, everyone else does.
Other than that it was great! Update soon, yeah? :)
Author's response
thank you that was really helpful and youre totally right it was just i was in a hurry so yeah thanks! great advice :DWe Killjoys are a FAMILY and we UNITE!!!
(#) TERRIBLETEEN 2012-02-18
Thank you! this is so me its not even funneh and im fairly sure a have a bra holster somewhere :DDDDDD lawl this is awesome sauce :D good job and as my sister Falcon_Dance says
~KEEP WRITING KILLJOYS~We Killjoys are a FAMILY and we UNITE!!!
(#) Mikeys_Glasses 2012-03-02
Yeah, I kinda agree with Panic up there. You really need to work on grammar and dialogue, but other than that, you have a good storyline going!
Keep writing, And I'm sure you'll get better and be AMAZING. :)
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