FicWad

"Mhmm." Rian mumbled, blinking as the sunlight filtered in, hitting her now open eyes.

"Need coffee?" I asked, nervously attempting to start conversation. In all honesty I just expected her to see me and bolt for the door. I wasn't sure I'd stop her either. I had no right to do so. "I mean, I have coffee. Lots of coffee. Which is... black coffee. I have vanilla creamer though! I bought it earlier. And sugar, lots of sugar. Or screw it. I could just go get you something else if you wanted something else. Some kind of fruity weird iced coffee, or something unrelated to coffee completely." I rambled on as Rian gave me a blank stare which I found quite nerve-wracking.

"I think I need to properly wake up before I think through everything you've just said." Rian mumbled, grinning.

She was... smiling. That qualifies as a good sign... I think. "How about food?"

"Or air?" She gestured to empty space. "I'm enjoying the air currently and I think that's plenty."

Was she joking around with me? The way the sides of her lips continued to tug upwards made me think so but... How could she be so happy and carefree? Was it a trick?

"I have vanilla flavored air." I joked, fighting the urge to go completely insane and loudly beg her to stay, to forgive me... to forget how disgustingly horrible I was the other night. I had an entire speech planned out, all of which had vanished from my mind the moment her eyes opened.

Rian just smiled, looking away from me. "When did I pass out last night?" She finally asked.

"Oh, I'm really not sure..." I responded, wanting her to say more about last night. She wasn't making this easy. How was I supposed to act?

"Well, I'm really sore..." Rian said, yawning. "And tired. I feel like I haven't slept much and I don't remember when I fell asleep. I don't really remember much. You sure know how to party." She smiled, still not looking at me. "This is just like in the movies. The memory loss, the pounding headache..." She trailed off, biting her lip.

I cracked a smile, awkwardly shifting in place. I'd never before felt so out of place! I was scared to say anything, do anything... wrong.

Rian shrugged, "I smell... off though." She sniffed her hair and my widened eyes took in the scene, leaving me more than happy to see that the blood was somehow gone. There was no blood smeared on the bed sheets either. She cleaned up when she came home? "Mind if I shower?" She asked, staring in to my eyes with a questioning glance.

I nodded, shook my head, tripped over my tongue... "I-I, whatever you want- Yeah." I finally got out.

Rian smiled and stood, stretching quickly, "I'll be out soon then." She said, walking from the room.

My trembling fingers found my phone and I quickly texted Mikey, -She doesn't remember anything! ... Did she shower last night?-

Mikey's reply came quickly, -I showered her and it wasn't fucking easy. You owe me.- I smiled, knowing that I'd make it up to him somehow.



**



(Rian's POV)



The bathroom door shut behind me, startling me. I quickly locked the door, trembling as I undressed.

Immediately there was a knock. I pressed my fingers to my lips, trying to fight the urge to sob loudly and uncontrollably. Once I got control of myself I called out in what I hoped sounded like a cheerful voice, "Yeah?"

"I-" Gerard paused, breathing out. "Want to go out for ice cream when you're done?"

I held my breath for a few seconds before breathing out, closing my eyes. "Yeah, sure Gerard." I replied.

"Great! I'll be out in the living room then." He responded, cheerily.

I waited for his footsteps to echo away from the door before I started the water. I leaned against the wall, thinking over all of the things I was trying so hard to repress. Roger's blood... so much blood... It hadn't been murder... It had been torture followed up by a mercy killing. How could he have wanted to live after what Gerard had done? I saw the body. I saw the... the damage.

Gerard was crazy. He had to be crazy. People didn't just... do that. The pictures; they couldn't be fake. His art work was nothing more than violent murdering sprees. And yet here I was... Here is where I'd stay, with Gerard. Why? He was all I had.

A murderer was better than my own family, safer...

-Roger was going to rape you.- The painful words Gerard had spoken washed through my mind, reminding me that... Gerard had protected me.

I'd seen the rage in his eyes. That rage, it was something beyond a normal range of sick-ness. He cared. He cared about me. Or at least... That's how it seemed.

Or had I just found out the secret a little too early?

I stared in to the mirror, thinking over the way he'd acted when he had first brought me home... Was I nothing more than a waiting victim? When would my time be up?

I tore my gaze from the mirror, blindly stepping in to the shower as tears cascaded down my cheeks. The warm water brushed the tears away, much to my relief. The burning in my throat had started but I tried hard not to sob. I couldn't. What would Gerard say? What would he think? He couldn't know that I knew.

I picked up a bottle of Gerard's conditioner and quickly worked in through my hair, thinking of the blood that Gerard had smeared through my hair just the night before. What had happened? Had he showered me? I shuddered at the thought, vaguely remembering passing out at the club.

As I worked the conditioner through my hair, hoping to evict the disgusting smell... I remembered! Mikey had... made me pass out? Mikey was like Gerard? Oh god.

The sob's finally broke through and all I could do was wash myself, hoping for the sounds to not be heard.

Gerard's face was plastered to the back of my eyelids and I thought of the vicious look upon his face, the look of a true predator... Last night Roger had gotten the pleasure of playing prey, who would be next?