Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Winter Rose
-Gerard’s POV-
I woke up, being overly lonely, didn’t know where I was or what I was, I just am lonesome. It was so dark in this room, even though everything was painted in white but the lack of light made it looks so dark, darker than the shadows around me. No one here and no one suppose to be around either, though it would be better if someone was here to accompany me or something, I’ve never like being alone.
I felt like being in a prison, everything was so plain and dull and there’s braces over the small window and the door was so tiny with only peeking-hole and some kind of mail socket beneath. I found so little light from the window and little ventilation too… I could barely find myself any oxygen to breathe with. I looked up to the corridor from the small peeking hole on the door, but no one was there, if it was a jail… I expect there’s some kind of police or guarder hang around there, but I found no one… I could only see white empty wall and another small door by the end of the corridor; their shadows were watching on me like if I was someone lunatic.
Starring at the emptiness of the ceiling, I grew tired and bored there was nothing to watch, not even a light-bulb. I stood up and try to open the jail-door, and it open, I wasn’t even trying to pick the lock, it just open like if it never had been locked before.
I looked around, trying to look for someone or something familiar, but I don’t know why, I have the feeling that I don’t actually want to see someone I know here. My sweat starts to drip, and it wasn’t even hot, I grew more suspicious on myself.
I quickly open the small door before me and rushing out from the empty room, I found a feeling that someone was waiting for me outside the tiny box, it could be anyone or anything I just hope it wasn’t something that kills. Half of my heart told me to just stay here, keep save, and don’t go, but the curiosity of my soul win, I’ve got to go.
As I open the door, I could see nothing but desert, sands, and the blue empty sky. Dry empty sands lay before of my eyes. The environment made me felt really dry but I don’t feel thirsty at all. I could see the clear blue sky starring above me giving me this empty feeling as I saw no clouds nor sun, no water source could be found to be a savior in the unbearable dryness. I could only feel dry, freakishly small, lonely and uncomfortable, I couldn’t feel heat or cold, and it feels like I was death no… not death, more like suffocating.
There’s something or someone in front of me, under the cliff when I reach the edge nearby the small building that kept me fearfully save before. I tried to walk down with bare feet buried in the sand, but it was sands after all it feels like I’m ripping my own flesh, I couldn’t control myself and restraining the pain, I decided to just sit and slid down the cliff, faster and painless. The thing became clear in my vision, it was someone in a black-gothic-dress, with laces hat that cover her face, black-laces-parasol, standing out red lipstick, and real pale skin. I found some gravity calling from her, absorbing all my strength and hope at once. I couldn’t fight it back and without me noticing it, my feet already walk into her direction.
As I walk faster into her direction, my heart was pounding hardly, it wasn’t because I’m running, it was because this adrenaline pumped with my heart, flowing faster than my blood, eating my thrombosis and bleed with my fear, I was unknowingly scared to death. I ran faster than I ever could but I didn’t feel a slight of tire at all, I felt so light like if I could just fly. As soon as I reach her, I couldn’t think clear, and when I realize who she was… I couldn’t stop my body from jumping out to her, she was my grandmother. She hugged me welcomingly and tighten it as soon as my whole body steady on the ground, she caress my face and smiled to me, I felt like a kid again, like I suppose to be. She was smiling to me, but suddenly her smile changes to hatred-look. She buried her nails in my back and I could feel pain and warm blood running on my skin, my flesh was sore, like a pig being chopped away from its head, but I sure can mind the pain later, I’m not letting go of her.
She kissed my cheek and breaks my limbs. I screamed, I couldn’t take the pain anymore, she wasn’t my grandmother, and my grandmother wouldn’t do that to me. Suddenly a dark-hole open behind my grandmother’s back. She smiled to me with a pair of dangerous eyes I’ve never seen on her before. She choked me and whisper, “Come with me, Gerard…”
“GERARD” someone yelled at me and shook my body harshly, I couldn’t identify his voice.
I was struggling from the pain that gradually disappear, trying hard to open my heavy eyes. “GERARD!!!” once again he yelled at me.
The light was on, the pain had ended and Frank was there, his eyes were on mine, and it was tense and full of worries, his warms arm were on my shoulder, gripping it so tightly until I could feel slightly hurts.
“Frank?” I could feel my eyes were wet.
“Thanks God,” he sighed out, relieved, “You were screaming so loud and I grew worried, I thought someone might have choked you or something…” well, someone does.
I blinked twice, made sure that it was him… yes it was his worries dim-hazel eyes staring at mine, his warm hands on my back and his fruit-smelled breathe on my face, it was Frank Iero before my scared eyes, not the old-woman who tried to rips my flesh and broke my bone... it was him.
I hugged Frank, I was scared to death before, but his existence makes me feels save, he had always makes me feel so. His right arm was caressing my hair while his left arm patting on my naked back softly, I was crying in his hugs and wet his shoulder, I did it like a child, “Nightmares?” his voice sounds so… I don’t know, loving?
I nodded and sob, “Fwankie… I was fucking scared… I thought I was going to be death!” I sounded like a kid, like I used to be, like I suppose to be.
He chuckled and ruffled my hair, making me stop my tears at once. “You looked like a girl when you cry!” he teased me happily and wipes my tears away. He was right, I feel like a girl when he’s around, I feel so weak, spoiled, my stomach feels so absurdly warm and itchy, I suddenly want to call his name again and again continuously forever and I need to hear his voice and in need to have love, in need of his loving touch, in need of him, in need of his love…
Frank stood up and opens the curtains in the room. “I’m going out today… you coming?” the light was blinding, I couldn’t see him but I nodded. As soon as my eyes getting used to the light, I was impressed by Frank’s piercing, it gave me the itch of pain on one and every part of my body, scary needles creep me. “Great, then let’s go!” but that lip-ring on his lower lip looked so perfect on him, perfect man.
“Um… Frank… I… my clothes…” I couldn’t see a thing. I must admit everything was too blinding, the baby-blue paint glows and the white doors are becoming brighter than how it was last night.
Frank blushed, “Oh yeah… umm… euh… I’ll make you breakfast!” was he embarrassed or something? Well, he did touch my naked back before… but we both guys right… even though in a different way.
I realize… very clearly realize that there’s something different with my lower part ever since I met him. The hard-on I’ve gotten used to since I met him again, sometimes my childish sick mind still slips in my brain. And I must admit that I’m enjoying the sensation of an adult, the pleasure of growing up, the time I have been waiting before. Everything in this world becomes so sensual and smutty sweet to my soul, but I also have to face the mindlessly devious reality, also need to have a thought on the life I face now. And of course 20 years of coma got me all matured up as I had deep thought of everything I’d like to do, and memories the study mom taught me, but I’ve never face it before I’ve never did anything in practical way, this was my first time to face maturity, to face the real test of world.
After putting all the clothes Frank had prepared me to wear last night. I rushed down stair and found him preparing the breakfast; he seems to enjoy doing house-chores, what an adult.
“Frank?” I called out and seat on the bar-chair like I did yesterday. He just gave me a small nod as reply that he was listening. “Can… cant I call home?” I shyly asked while digging through my food, wondering if he put the most fateful broccoli ever.
“Well…” Frank scratched his look-not-itchy chin, “The telephone is broken and I destroyed my cell-phone someday ago. It’s already fucked up anyway, so I need a new one. Am going to buy it today, so… the answer is no.” he was embarrassed, the way he scratch his look-not-itchy chin made me want to lift it up and stare down to his face, as I was taller but no... That would be weird if I really did that.
“Oh… umm… well, Frank…” I lick down the last spoon, finishing all the sweet-cereals, gulping down slowly while watching Frank moves around. “Can…” he crossed over to some place, but I could make sure he was still listening to me. “Can I stay with you?” I gulp down my own saliva, “I mean… from now on…” he was watching my back. I couldn’t make sure, didn’t dare to check either, but I knew he just watching me as I walked to the sink and start to wash my bowl, fuck Gerard you’re a coward!
“Well, then…” Frank coughed, “You shall ask your relative first, and you got a brother right?” I couldn’t face him, it was embarrassing. “But you still have to pay for your life expenses… I won’t take any rent cost, so don’t worry.” When I turn my back he was already in front of me, “Still want to stay with me?” he smiled, he was SMILING LIKE FUCK HE DID!
I couldn’t help myself but smirk, “Hell yes!” I could feel the heat on my face, I could, it wasn’t cold, but I could, I was blushing! I did! Fuck since when did I became so girlish
He smiled, somehow looks satisfied, he grab my hand and half-dragging me to the garage, located beside the dining-room, there was a shortcut door that never get noticed before. I saw a weird-looking new black city car and it made some ‘Beep Beep’ sound when Frank get the key out. He let me enter first and I was impressed by the interior, skulls, scorpion, the misfit logo, every cool thing were there, the seat was fluffy and the car smelled like citrus and tobacco, a nice-smelling weird blend. I could find some confusing things around that I’ve never seen before, being coma for two decade sure makes you not updated.
I buckle in my seat-belt as soon as Frank got in the car, habits. I bit my lower lips, wondering if he would kindly explain these sophisticatedly weird to my innocent eyes.
“This is called CD-player –“he explained everything to me carefully, like a good-teacher to his good-student clearly and happily, I could see no burdened expression shown on his face. He sure was a generous man, like he always been.
He drove carefully; pass the weird houses I’ve never seen and the park. “Frank stop!”
He stopped at once, “It’s my house over there! I’ll pack some stuff and meet you up later, would you mind?”
“No, I won’t mind.” He crossed over my body and open the door for me, I was holding back my breath; my heart was ripping out my flesh painfully. I knew I’m in love with him.
He watched me going off and smiled, “I’ll pick you up at 3.” He licked his lip-ring and I wish I’ve vanish there.
“Deal~” I hid my blush with a grin, talking to him was fun, and I knew I won’t find this kind of happiness if I stay with Mikey, don’t want to feels guilty forever.
I ran to my house with giggles following after my step, I feels so airy, light and happy, the flying bird in my stomach mock my pride out, the running blood in my vein was making me feels nut, the heat on my face was of course abnormal, I felt like a little girl boy, childish and in love, excited about his journey to this-called building a relationship, craving to see the lover that he would never let go off. No, I wouldn’t blame Frank for being a bisexual and made me in love with him, he was smutty sweet, freakishly nice, suave yet loving, he smiled handsomely and stare with an adorably cute look, his finger-press were so right to my body and his arms were warm. I was in love; I give no shit I knew I was. I was still a fucking child when I knew what is love, we don’t even know for so long yet… but this is LOVE… love isn’t like cigarettes, there was no filter made for love, no age filter, no gender filter, nothing to break the incredibly strong chain on someone’s feeling, because this is LOVE.
I woke up, being overly lonely, didn’t know where I was or what I was, I just am lonesome. It was so dark in this room, even though everything was painted in white but the lack of light made it looks so dark, darker than the shadows around me. No one here and no one suppose to be around either, though it would be better if someone was here to accompany me or something, I’ve never like being alone.
I felt like being in a prison, everything was so plain and dull and there’s braces over the small window and the door was so tiny with only peeking-hole and some kind of mail socket beneath. I found so little light from the window and little ventilation too… I could barely find myself any oxygen to breathe with. I looked up to the corridor from the small peeking hole on the door, but no one was there, if it was a jail… I expect there’s some kind of police or guarder hang around there, but I found no one… I could only see white empty wall and another small door by the end of the corridor; their shadows were watching on me like if I was someone lunatic.
Starring at the emptiness of the ceiling, I grew tired and bored there was nothing to watch, not even a light-bulb. I stood up and try to open the jail-door, and it open, I wasn’t even trying to pick the lock, it just open like if it never had been locked before.
I looked around, trying to look for someone or something familiar, but I don’t know why, I have the feeling that I don’t actually want to see someone I know here. My sweat starts to drip, and it wasn’t even hot, I grew more suspicious on myself.
I quickly open the small door before me and rushing out from the empty room, I found a feeling that someone was waiting for me outside the tiny box, it could be anyone or anything I just hope it wasn’t something that kills. Half of my heart told me to just stay here, keep save, and don’t go, but the curiosity of my soul win, I’ve got to go.
As I open the door, I could see nothing but desert, sands, and the blue empty sky. Dry empty sands lay before of my eyes. The environment made me felt really dry but I don’t feel thirsty at all. I could see the clear blue sky starring above me giving me this empty feeling as I saw no clouds nor sun, no water source could be found to be a savior in the unbearable dryness. I could only feel dry, freakishly small, lonely and uncomfortable, I couldn’t feel heat or cold, and it feels like I was death no… not death, more like suffocating.
There’s something or someone in front of me, under the cliff when I reach the edge nearby the small building that kept me fearfully save before. I tried to walk down with bare feet buried in the sand, but it was sands after all it feels like I’m ripping my own flesh, I couldn’t control myself and restraining the pain, I decided to just sit and slid down the cliff, faster and painless. The thing became clear in my vision, it was someone in a black-gothic-dress, with laces hat that cover her face, black-laces-parasol, standing out red lipstick, and real pale skin. I found some gravity calling from her, absorbing all my strength and hope at once. I couldn’t fight it back and without me noticing it, my feet already walk into her direction.
As I walk faster into her direction, my heart was pounding hardly, it wasn’t because I’m running, it was because this adrenaline pumped with my heart, flowing faster than my blood, eating my thrombosis and bleed with my fear, I was unknowingly scared to death. I ran faster than I ever could but I didn’t feel a slight of tire at all, I felt so light like if I could just fly. As soon as I reach her, I couldn’t think clear, and when I realize who she was… I couldn’t stop my body from jumping out to her, she was my grandmother. She hugged me welcomingly and tighten it as soon as my whole body steady on the ground, she caress my face and smiled to me, I felt like a kid again, like I suppose to be. She was smiling to me, but suddenly her smile changes to hatred-look. She buried her nails in my back and I could feel pain and warm blood running on my skin, my flesh was sore, like a pig being chopped away from its head, but I sure can mind the pain later, I’m not letting go of her.
She kissed my cheek and breaks my limbs. I screamed, I couldn’t take the pain anymore, she wasn’t my grandmother, and my grandmother wouldn’t do that to me. Suddenly a dark-hole open behind my grandmother’s back. She smiled to me with a pair of dangerous eyes I’ve never seen on her before. She choked me and whisper, “Come with me, Gerard…”
“GERARD” someone yelled at me and shook my body harshly, I couldn’t identify his voice.
I was struggling from the pain that gradually disappear, trying hard to open my heavy eyes. “GERARD!!!” once again he yelled at me.
The light was on, the pain had ended and Frank was there, his eyes were on mine, and it was tense and full of worries, his warms arm were on my shoulder, gripping it so tightly until I could feel slightly hurts.
“Frank?” I could feel my eyes were wet.
“Thanks God,” he sighed out, relieved, “You were screaming so loud and I grew worried, I thought someone might have choked you or something…” well, someone does.
I blinked twice, made sure that it was him… yes it was his worries dim-hazel eyes staring at mine, his warm hands on my back and his fruit-smelled breathe on my face, it was Frank Iero before my scared eyes, not the old-woman who tried to rips my flesh and broke my bone... it was him.
I hugged Frank, I was scared to death before, but his existence makes me feels save, he had always makes me feel so. His right arm was caressing my hair while his left arm patting on my naked back softly, I was crying in his hugs and wet his shoulder, I did it like a child, “Nightmares?” his voice sounds so… I don’t know, loving?
I nodded and sob, “Fwankie… I was fucking scared… I thought I was going to be death!” I sounded like a kid, like I used to be, like I suppose to be.
He chuckled and ruffled my hair, making me stop my tears at once. “You looked like a girl when you cry!” he teased me happily and wipes my tears away. He was right, I feel like a girl when he’s around, I feel so weak, spoiled, my stomach feels so absurdly warm and itchy, I suddenly want to call his name again and again continuously forever and I need to hear his voice and in need to have love, in need of his loving touch, in need of him, in need of his love…
Frank stood up and opens the curtains in the room. “I’m going out today… you coming?” the light was blinding, I couldn’t see him but I nodded. As soon as my eyes getting used to the light, I was impressed by Frank’s piercing, it gave me the itch of pain on one and every part of my body, scary needles creep me. “Great, then let’s go!” but that lip-ring on his lower lip looked so perfect on him, perfect man.
“Um… Frank… I… my clothes…” I couldn’t see a thing. I must admit everything was too blinding, the baby-blue paint glows and the white doors are becoming brighter than how it was last night.
Frank blushed, “Oh yeah… umm… euh… I’ll make you breakfast!” was he embarrassed or something? Well, he did touch my naked back before… but we both guys right… even though in a different way.
I realize… very clearly realize that there’s something different with my lower part ever since I met him. The hard-on I’ve gotten used to since I met him again, sometimes my childish sick mind still slips in my brain. And I must admit that I’m enjoying the sensation of an adult, the pleasure of growing up, the time I have been waiting before. Everything in this world becomes so sensual and smutty sweet to my soul, but I also have to face the mindlessly devious reality, also need to have a thought on the life I face now. And of course 20 years of coma got me all matured up as I had deep thought of everything I’d like to do, and memories the study mom taught me, but I’ve never face it before I’ve never did anything in practical way, this was my first time to face maturity, to face the real test of world.
After putting all the clothes Frank had prepared me to wear last night. I rushed down stair and found him preparing the breakfast; he seems to enjoy doing house-chores, what an adult.
“Frank?” I called out and seat on the bar-chair like I did yesterday. He just gave me a small nod as reply that he was listening. “Can… cant I call home?” I shyly asked while digging through my food, wondering if he put the most fateful broccoli ever.
“Well…” Frank scratched his look-not-itchy chin, “The telephone is broken and I destroyed my cell-phone someday ago. It’s already fucked up anyway, so I need a new one. Am going to buy it today, so… the answer is no.” he was embarrassed, the way he scratch his look-not-itchy chin made me want to lift it up and stare down to his face, as I was taller but no... That would be weird if I really did that.
“Oh… umm… well, Frank…” I lick down the last spoon, finishing all the sweet-cereals, gulping down slowly while watching Frank moves around. “Can…” he crossed over to some place, but I could make sure he was still listening to me. “Can I stay with you?” I gulp down my own saliva, “I mean… from now on…” he was watching my back. I couldn’t make sure, didn’t dare to check either, but I knew he just watching me as I walked to the sink and start to wash my bowl, fuck Gerard you’re a coward!
“Well, then…” Frank coughed, “You shall ask your relative first, and you got a brother right?” I couldn’t face him, it was embarrassing. “But you still have to pay for your life expenses… I won’t take any rent cost, so don’t worry.” When I turn my back he was already in front of me, “Still want to stay with me?” he smiled, he was SMILING LIKE FUCK HE DID!
I couldn’t help myself but smirk, “Hell yes!” I could feel the heat on my face, I could, it wasn’t cold, but I could, I was blushing! I did! Fuck since when did I became so girlish
He smiled, somehow looks satisfied, he grab my hand and half-dragging me to the garage, located beside the dining-room, there was a shortcut door that never get noticed before. I saw a weird-looking new black city car and it made some ‘Beep Beep’ sound when Frank get the key out. He let me enter first and I was impressed by the interior, skulls, scorpion, the misfit logo, every cool thing were there, the seat was fluffy and the car smelled like citrus and tobacco, a nice-smelling weird blend. I could find some confusing things around that I’ve never seen before, being coma for two decade sure makes you not updated.
I buckle in my seat-belt as soon as Frank got in the car, habits. I bit my lower lips, wondering if he would kindly explain these sophisticatedly weird to my innocent eyes.
“This is called CD-player –“he explained everything to me carefully, like a good-teacher to his good-student clearly and happily, I could see no burdened expression shown on his face. He sure was a generous man, like he always been.
He drove carefully; pass the weird houses I’ve never seen and the park. “Frank stop!”
He stopped at once, “It’s my house over there! I’ll pack some stuff and meet you up later, would you mind?”
“No, I won’t mind.” He crossed over my body and open the door for me, I was holding back my breath; my heart was ripping out my flesh painfully. I knew I’m in love with him.
He watched me going off and smiled, “I’ll pick you up at 3.” He licked his lip-ring and I wish I’ve vanish there.
“Deal~” I hid my blush with a grin, talking to him was fun, and I knew I won’t find this kind of happiness if I stay with Mikey, don’t want to feels guilty forever.
I ran to my house with giggles following after my step, I feels so airy, light and happy, the flying bird in my stomach mock my pride out, the running blood in my vein was making me feels nut, the heat on my face was of course abnormal, I felt like a little girl boy, childish and in love, excited about his journey to this-called building a relationship, craving to see the lover that he would never let go off. No, I wouldn’t blame Frank for being a bisexual and made me in love with him, he was smutty sweet, freakishly nice, suave yet loving, he smiled handsomely and stare with an adorably cute look, his finger-press were so right to my body and his arms were warm. I was in love; I give no shit I knew I was. I was still a fucking child when I knew what is love, we don’t even know for so long yet… but this is LOVE… love isn’t like cigarettes, there was no filter made for love, no age filter, no gender filter, nothing to break the incredibly strong chain on someone’s feeling, because this is LOVE.
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