Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > What Wasn't Suppose to Happen..
Edith's POV
I lied in bed in the dark by myself. No one was home. It was late at night. My mom was at a dinner party, part of her job and Jade was out with Mikey. I didn't want to bother Gerard late at night to come over. Not after I just spent the afternoon with Henry. I feel really guilty. Even if Its not cheating, it hurts deep down. We're talking about my ex here. Not just any ex, someone I once really cared about and loved with all my heart. I'm glad Gerard is in my life. He has helped me a lot through his love and presence but, my past wounds are still there. That's one thing I can't tell Gerard. Anyone, I can't tell anyone because they just won't understand what I'm feeling. Gerard is the closest to understanding me but its just not close enough. My problem is different from his. Do you know how it feels to be insulted by friends and family through out your life? It's terrible! And then there is one person who makes it all better. And that was Henry, or so I thought. Then he tried to have sex with me when he knew I wasn't ready. I felt abused, insulted, used. I had lost hope on everything. That's when Gerard was my light. He came by and made it all better. And for real this time. But I'm still afraid I'll lose him. Sometimes I get the feeling I will, because everything has an ending to it. And what adds to those feelings is Victoria. She's always trying to make us brake up! She never ends! Can't she just understand that it won't happen?! Gerard and I love each other. Till death! One other thing is, I'm lying to Gerard. It kills me so bad! I don't want to keep on lying to him about Henry's true identity. But it's best for the moment. I think. I just hope he doesn't get mad when he finds out.
Things Like this bring me back to smoking. I hate thinking about them so that's why I get waisted. I know I promised Gee I wouldn't do it anymore, but I can't help it. He told me I'll EVENTUALLY become addicted. It's too late now to warn me. I have increased the usage. Before I would do it like, once a month. It has come to twice a week. If Gee were to find out, it'll brake his heart. And again, I hate lying to him. Lying to him also brings me to drinking. The guilt is taking over me. I can't help it. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm going back to my old ways...
I lied in bed in the dark by myself. No one was home. It was late at night. My mom was at a dinner party, part of her job and Jade was out with Mikey. I didn't want to bother Gerard late at night to come over. Not after I just spent the afternoon with Henry. I feel really guilty. Even if Its not cheating, it hurts deep down. We're talking about my ex here. Not just any ex, someone I once really cared about and loved with all my heart. I'm glad Gerard is in my life. He has helped me a lot through his love and presence but, my past wounds are still there. That's one thing I can't tell Gerard. Anyone, I can't tell anyone because they just won't understand what I'm feeling. Gerard is the closest to understanding me but its just not close enough. My problem is different from his. Do you know how it feels to be insulted by friends and family through out your life? It's terrible! And then there is one person who makes it all better. And that was Henry, or so I thought. Then he tried to have sex with me when he knew I wasn't ready. I felt abused, insulted, used. I had lost hope on everything. That's when Gerard was my light. He came by and made it all better. And for real this time. But I'm still afraid I'll lose him. Sometimes I get the feeling I will, because everything has an ending to it. And what adds to those feelings is Victoria. She's always trying to make us brake up! She never ends! Can't she just understand that it won't happen?! Gerard and I love each other. Till death! One other thing is, I'm lying to Gerard. It kills me so bad! I don't want to keep on lying to him about Henry's true identity. But it's best for the moment. I think. I just hope he doesn't get mad when he finds out.
Things Like this bring me back to smoking. I hate thinking about them so that's why I get waisted. I know I promised Gee I wouldn't do it anymore, but I can't help it. He told me I'll EVENTUALLY become addicted. It's too late now to warn me. I have increased the usage. Before I would do it like, once a month. It has come to twice a week. If Gee were to find out, it'll brake his heart. And again, I hate lying to him. Lying to him also brings me to drinking. The guilt is taking over me. I can't help it. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm going back to my old ways...
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