Categories > Celebrities > Harry Potter > Lily Luna Potter

The Tales of Beetle the Bard

by mayzy167 0 reviews

Scorpius and Lily bicker over facts, fictions, and truths orbiting a popular wizarding children's book of fairy stories.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Fantasy,Humor,Romance - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2012-03-25 - Updated: 2012-03-26 - 1760 words

0Unrated
The Tales of Beetle the Bard” Scorpius read the title of the book in his best friend’s hands carefully and could not help but crack a smile at the redhead.
“Yes Scorpius,” Lily replied, “What’s wrong with that? Did your mummy think that this,” she indicated the children’s book of fairy stories in her hands, “was too scary for her ickle Scorpie-kins and so had the servants instead read you Toadstool Tales?” Lily laughed at his reddening face colour; the young man’s reply came out slightly sputtered.
“Of course not! My mother would read me the tales from that same book!”
“Yeah?” Lily remarked, “Which one’s your favourite, then?”
“Well,” Scorpius took the book from her hand flipping the pages, “I always liked…Hey! This book is wrong!”
“No it isn't, Stupid!” Lily said angrily, “My grandmum gave me that book as a present when I was a baby!”
“Well, your grandmum is wrong, listen,” Scorpius began to read aloud from the book,


“'There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms, and antidotes sprang readymade from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot. From miles around, the people came to him with their troubles, and the wizard was pleased to give his pot a stir, and put things right.
“’This well-beloved wizard lived to a goodly age, then died, leaving all his chattels to his only son. This son was of a very different disposition to his gentle father. Those who could not work magic were, to the son’s mind, worthless, and he had often quarrelled with his father’s habit of dispensing magical aid to their neighbours.
“’Upon the father’s death, the son found hidden inside the old cooking pot a small package bearing his name. He opened it, hoping to find gold, but found instead a soft, thick slipper, much too small to wear-‘”



“Were you planning on reading me the entire story? I know how The Wizard And The Hopping Pot turns out, I've read it many times, Scorpius.” Lily cut him off, “It all ends with the wizard figuring out that he has been a jerk to the muggles but, in all actuality, he is just disgusted by how the pot looks and so he puts the magic slipper on the foot of the pot and then the pot looks normal again and the wizard and the pot go off and the wizard promises to forever use the pot to help cure muggles from that day forth, the end.”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said excitedly, “Only, that is not how the story actually goes!”
“Yes it is, Stupid.”
“But it is not! See, the real story is about a wizard who was persecuted by the evil muggles who he was trying to help and so the hopping pot became a ferocious and warty guard for the wizard and so when the muggles came to wizard’s cottage with torches and pitchforks, the hopping pot ate them all up! But, the wizard has pity for the rest of the muggles, at the end and, even though they tried to kill him, had the hopping pot throw up all of the muggles it had eaten and let them go back home in exchange for their forever leaving him in solitude.”
“Oh! My! God!” Lily looked shocked.
“Exactly.” Replied Scorpius smugly.
“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, you’re madder than I am!” Lily Luna exclaimed
“Wait! What?” Scorpius said defensively.
“All of these stories were written before wizards began to think muggles a threat to their community and see, it says the muggles don’t even know he’s even a wizard!”
“But, that’s what my mum told me!” Scorpius said, growing increasingly annoyed.
“Scorpius, I really hate fighting with you! Please, just let this be something we resolve by asking Professor Binns sometime during the Welcoming Feast or Madam Pince tomorrow during study hall?”
“Yeah,” Scorpius replied wearily, “Okay, I suppose. Now,” He brightened, “What is the real reason you are rereading a children’s book of fairy stories?”
“Because,” Said Lily Luna simply, “I like to learn more about the past. I especially love ‘The Warlock’s Hairy Heart’!”
“Lily, that is the most horrific story ever to be told to a child!”
“My dad was told some pretty horrific stuff as a kid.” Lily pointed out.
“Touché,” Scorpius relented, “But, Lily, you do know that these stories are not true?”
Babbitty Rabbitty And The Talking Stump was based on the French sorceress Lisette de Lapin and The Tale Of The Three Brothers is definitely true.”
“Lily, it is not.”
“Yes it is!” She grabbed her trunk from above her head and pulled out a travelling cloak, “See?” Lily asked him as she put it on and became invisible.
“Is that the cloak you frightened me with on our first encounter?” Scorpius asked her previous position.
“I guess it must be.” Said the air in Lily’s voice.
“It is brilliant.” Scorpius breathed, scanning the room.
“It’s the same one that the third brother got from Death and later gave to his son. Listen” She grabbed the book and began to read,


“’There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at midnight.’”



“It’s really twilight.”
“Well grandmum says midnight ‘cause it’s scarier so shut up!

‘In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure.
“’And Death spoke to them.
“’He was angry that he had been cheated out of the three new victims, for travellers usually drowned in the river. But Death was cunning. He pretended to congratulate the three brothers upon their magic, and said that each had earned a prize for having been clever enough to evade him.
“’So the oldest brother, who was a combative man, asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence: a wand that must always win duels for its owner, a wand worthy of a wizard who had conquered Death! So Death crossed to an elder tree on the banks of the river, fashioned a wand from a branch that hung there, and gave it to the oldest brother.
“’Then the second brother, who was an arrogant man, decided that he wanted to humiliate Death still further, and asked for the power to recall others from Death. So Death picked up a stone from the riverbank and gave it to the second brother, and told him that the stone would have the power to bring back the dead.
“’And then Death asked the third and youngest brother what he would like. The youngest brother was the humblest and also the wisest of the brothers, and he did not trust Death. So he asked for something that would enable him to go forth from that place without being followed by Death. And Death, most unwillingly, handed over his own Cloak of Invisibility.
“’Then Death stood aside and allowed the three brothers to continue on their way, and they did so talking with wonder of the adventure they had had and admiring Death’s gifts. In due course the brothers separated, each for his own destination.
“’The first brother travelled on for a week more, and reaching a distant village, sought out a fellow wizard with whom he had a quarrel. Naturally, with the Elder Wand as his weapon, he could not fail to win the duel that followed. Leaving his enemy dead upon the floor the oldest brother proceeded to an inn, where he boasted loudly of the powerful wand he had snatched from Death himself, and of how it made him invincible.
“’That very night, another wizard crept upon the oldest brother as he lay, wine-sodden upon his bed. The thief took the wand and for good measure, slit the oldest brother’s throat.
“’And so Death took the first brother for his own.
“’Meanwhile, the second brother journeyed to his own home, where he lived alone. Here he took out the stone that had the power to recall the dead, and turned it thrice in his hand. To his amazement and his delight, the figure of the girl he had once hoped to marry, before her untimely death, appeared at once before him.
“’Yet she was sad and cold, separated from him as by a veil. Though she had returned to the mortal world, she did not truly belong there and suffered. Finally the second brother, driven mad with hopeless longing, killed himself so as to truly join her.
“’And so Death took the second brother from his own.
“’But though Death searched for the third brother for many years, he was never able to find him. It was only when he had attained a great age that the youngest brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son. And the he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, equals, they departed this life.’”



“So what?” Scorpius asked, “It’s The Tail Of The Three Brothers, all wizard children hear it when they’re little.”
“So everything! You see, the three brothers were the first to possess the Deathly Hallows,” Lily pulled a gold chain around her neck, “Here, see? My godmum Luna Lovegood gave this to me so I will forever remember my heritage. See, the line is the Elder Wand, that guy has a bloody past, you remember in History of Magic how we learn about the Wand of Destiny and The Deathstick?”
“Yes…”
“That is Antioch Peverell, the first brother’s, wand making its way through history.”
“You are crazy”
“And Cadmus Peverell’s stone was found and used by my dad but he left it in the Forbidden Forrest after Tom Riddle tried to kill him again and your grand mum helped save him.”
“Thanks for remembering.”
“Not at all, but, Ignotus Peverell’s Cloak of Invisibility has been passed down in the family for ages and now I am its master!” Lily finished puffing out her chest.
“Whatever you say, Lily.” Scorpius said as he left to change into his school robes .
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