Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Blinded by Misery
I woke up to cold emptiness beside me. I slipped on my bra and panties from last night and walked downstairs to find Gerard. As I hit the last step I heard rattling in the kitchen.
"Hey babe." I said leaning against the archway. He was behind the open pantry searching for something. When it was shut I screamed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Mikey said holding his hands up while he blushed and covered his eyes.
"Shit." I said running back upstairs to find my clothes. After dressing I went back downstairs to face my loves' brother that just saw me practically naked.
"Sorry." I said wrapping my arms around myself.
"Its fine. I guess you were expecting Gerard." He said laughing as he scratched the back of his neck.
"Yeah." I said taking a seat on the bar stool. "Where is he?" I asked as he grabbed a package of starbucks coffee and placed it next to his wallet and keys.
"I called earlier and he told me he was going out to take care of something. I needed to borrow some coffee so he told me to come over and get it. I have a key so he told me not to wake you. Sorry guess that plan sucked ass." He said laughing as he was getting ready to leave. I hesitated a minute before speaking as he was half way to the front door.
"Mikey?" I asked before he could leave.
"Yeah, whats up?" He said stopping in the archway.
"What was Eliza doing with you guys at the restaurant the other night?" I asked him.
"How do you know about that bitch?" He asked rolling his eyes.
"I saw her all over Gerard. I accused him of cheating on me and he got into his life story with her in it." I said while he was completely shocked.
"He actually told you all that?" He said stepping back in the kitchen.
"Yeah..nevermind. Sorry I shouldn't have brought it up." I said covering my face with my hands.
"No its fine. I'm just trying to figure out why he would tell you. He never talks about it and when other people ask he tells them to fuck off or its none of their business." He said sitting his keys back on the counter as he lay his head down. "That woman was a bitch. She ruined him, everything." Mikey stood back up and looked in my eyes.
"Please tell me he hasn't hurt you." He pleaded me.
"No, nothing like that. Just, I told him I loved him the other night and he gets upset everytime I mention it or even say it to him. He says he isn't ready to say it yet but I can tell something is making him hold back. I told him how I feel about him but he acts like its bullshit." I said feeling worthless all over again.
"Chrysanthemum, you have to understand his point of view." He started rubbing my arm soothingly. "Gee loved Eliza, sure she drove him mad but he was in love with her. When she admitted she cheated on him, he was devastated. Then the bitch said he cheated and I don't know why the dumbass went along with it. I hate her so much because she drove him into drinking and popping pills." He said pulling me into a hug. I was a taken back by this but held him anyways. "Please don't push him, and stay with him, help him. I just want my brother back." He pleaded me all I could do was nod into his shoulder.
"Trust me I don't plan on leaving him anytime soon. I love him." I whispered into his ear. He thanked me and left after telling me Alicia and Jamia were planning lunch and wanted me to come along tomorrow.
It was almost 4:00 before Gee came in. He threw his keys on the table next to the door and went straight for the kitchen. I got up from the couch and wrapped my arms around his back.
"Hey babe." I whispered as I kissed his shoulder blade through the material of his shirt. He turned around and pulled me into a kiss.
"Hey sugar." He rested his forehead against mine.
"Where did you go?" I asked trying not to sound pushy or pry it from him.
"Out." He sighed as he pulled away uninterested.
"Oh." Was all I said. He obviously didn't want to tell me. He went on doing what he was doing before I walked in acting as if I wasn't there. I started crying like a baby. He turned around and ran over to me.
"Why are you crying?" He took me in his arms like a child.
"It doesn't matter." I blubbered as he stroked my hair.
"Yes it does. Tell me." He demanded.
"Why should I? You wouldn't tell me where you were, so it doesn't matter." I said pushing him away from me as he put me down.
"Fine I went out shopping." He said trying to get me to stop crying.
"That really narrows it down, doesn't it?" I said turning away from him. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
"I just wanted to get out for a bit by myself okay? Sorry I didn't tell you mom." He said slamming his hand down on the counter making me flinch. I stomped up the stairs appalled he said that to me.
"Wait, Chrys. I'm sorry." He said chasing me up the stairs. I continued running from him until I was locked in the bathroom. I slid down the door letting my emotions take over. He knocked from the outside again and again.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Please come out?" He begged. "Come on, Chrys don't be like that." He said knocking a few more times.
"Just go away." I said lowering my head to my knees. After a few more minutes I didn't hear him outside anymore. I stared at myself in the mirror and felt like I was living a lie. Who was I kidding, I am a lie. He is going to hate me when he finds out.
I opened the door and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I walked downstairs, past the kitchen and to the living room. He was watching TV and didn't look up when I walked in.
"Are you done acting like such a fucking kid?" He asked obviously pissed as he rubbed his eyelids back and forth.
"No." I said sitting down next to him lowering my head. He sat up and muted the TV.
"We need to talk Gerard." I whispered. He nodded and threw his arm over the arm rest of the sofa while leaning back.
"So talk." He said lighting a cigarette.
"Gerard, I haven't been completely honest with you." I whispered. He continued to stare at me as he took a drag off the stick.
"I'm not how old I say I am." I mumbled feeling myself on the brink of tears. "You'll probably flip out and hate me but I just can't lie like this anymore."
"Okay, what your older?" He said flicking his ashes in the ash tray on the coffee table in front of us.
"No, younger." I whispered as I wiped a tear from my eye.
"20?" He asked as he sat back and looked at me. I shook my head and silently cried.
"19?" I shook my head again and I heard him suck in his breath. He lifted my chin with his hand to stare into my eyes. "18?" He pleaded with me. The look on his face made my heart break. I shook my head once more.
"No." I whispered letting the tears fall once more.
"Chrys, how old are you? Its okay you can tell me." He quickly jumped up and kneeled in front of me.
"17." I whispered. I heard his quick in take of breath before falling back on his feet rubbing his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."
I ran up the stairs and started grabbing my belongings and was heading out of the bedroom. I got to the bottom of the stairs and walked past the archway of the den. He was sitting there staring into space running his hand across his face. I felt the tears start to fall again and left. I was hoping he would come after me but I finally got to my apartment twenty minutes later and was still alone.
"Hey babe." I said leaning against the archway. He was behind the open pantry searching for something. When it was shut I screamed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Mikey said holding his hands up while he blushed and covered his eyes.
"Shit." I said running back upstairs to find my clothes. After dressing I went back downstairs to face my loves' brother that just saw me practically naked.
"Sorry." I said wrapping my arms around myself.
"Its fine. I guess you were expecting Gerard." He said laughing as he scratched the back of his neck.
"Yeah." I said taking a seat on the bar stool. "Where is he?" I asked as he grabbed a package of starbucks coffee and placed it next to his wallet and keys.
"I called earlier and he told me he was going out to take care of something. I needed to borrow some coffee so he told me to come over and get it. I have a key so he told me not to wake you. Sorry guess that plan sucked ass." He said laughing as he was getting ready to leave. I hesitated a minute before speaking as he was half way to the front door.
"Mikey?" I asked before he could leave.
"Yeah, whats up?" He said stopping in the archway.
"What was Eliza doing with you guys at the restaurant the other night?" I asked him.
"How do you know about that bitch?" He asked rolling his eyes.
"I saw her all over Gerard. I accused him of cheating on me and he got into his life story with her in it." I said while he was completely shocked.
"He actually told you all that?" He said stepping back in the kitchen.
"Yeah..nevermind. Sorry I shouldn't have brought it up." I said covering my face with my hands.
"No its fine. I'm just trying to figure out why he would tell you. He never talks about it and when other people ask he tells them to fuck off or its none of their business." He said sitting his keys back on the counter as he lay his head down. "That woman was a bitch. She ruined him, everything." Mikey stood back up and looked in my eyes.
"Please tell me he hasn't hurt you." He pleaded me.
"No, nothing like that. Just, I told him I loved him the other night and he gets upset everytime I mention it or even say it to him. He says he isn't ready to say it yet but I can tell something is making him hold back. I told him how I feel about him but he acts like its bullshit." I said feeling worthless all over again.
"Chrysanthemum, you have to understand his point of view." He started rubbing my arm soothingly. "Gee loved Eliza, sure she drove him mad but he was in love with her. When she admitted she cheated on him, he was devastated. Then the bitch said he cheated and I don't know why the dumbass went along with it. I hate her so much because she drove him into drinking and popping pills." He said pulling me into a hug. I was a taken back by this but held him anyways. "Please don't push him, and stay with him, help him. I just want my brother back." He pleaded me all I could do was nod into his shoulder.
"Trust me I don't plan on leaving him anytime soon. I love him." I whispered into his ear. He thanked me and left after telling me Alicia and Jamia were planning lunch and wanted me to come along tomorrow.
It was almost 4:00 before Gee came in. He threw his keys on the table next to the door and went straight for the kitchen. I got up from the couch and wrapped my arms around his back.
"Hey babe." I whispered as I kissed his shoulder blade through the material of his shirt. He turned around and pulled me into a kiss.
"Hey sugar." He rested his forehead against mine.
"Where did you go?" I asked trying not to sound pushy or pry it from him.
"Out." He sighed as he pulled away uninterested.
"Oh." Was all I said. He obviously didn't want to tell me. He went on doing what he was doing before I walked in acting as if I wasn't there. I started crying like a baby. He turned around and ran over to me.
"Why are you crying?" He took me in his arms like a child.
"It doesn't matter." I blubbered as he stroked my hair.
"Yes it does. Tell me." He demanded.
"Why should I? You wouldn't tell me where you were, so it doesn't matter." I said pushing him away from me as he put me down.
"Fine I went out shopping." He said trying to get me to stop crying.
"That really narrows it down, doesn't it?" I said turning away from him. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
"I just wanted to get out for a bit by myself okay? Sorry I didn't tell you mom." He said slamming his hand down on the counter making me flinch. I stomped up the stairs appalled he said that to me.
"Wait, Chrys. I'm sorry." He said chasing me up the stairs. I continued running from him until I was locked in the bathroom. I slid down the door letting my emotions take over. He knocked from the outside again and again.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Please come out?" He begged. "Come on, Chrys don't be like that." He said knocking a few more times.
"Just go away." I said lowering my head to my knees. After a few more minutes I didn't hear him outside anymore. I stared at myself in the mirror and felt like I was living a lie. Who was I kidding, I am a lie. He is going to hate me when he finds out.
I opened the door and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I walked downstairs, past the kitchen and to the living room. He was watching TV and didn't look up when I walked in.
"Are you done acting like such a fucking kid?" He asked obviously pissed as he rubbed his eyelids back and forth.
"No." I said sitting down next to him lowering my head. He sat up and muted the TV.
"We need to talk Gerard." I whispered. He nodded and threw his arm over the arm rest of the sofa while leaning back.
"So talk." He said lighting a cigarette.
"Gerard, I haven't been completely honest with you." I whispered. He continued to stare at me as he took a drag off the stick.
"I'm not how old I say I am." I mumbled feeling myself on the brink of tears. "You'll probably flip out and hate me but I just can't lie like this anymore."
"Okay, what your older?" He said flicking his ashes in the ash tray on the coffee table in front of us.
"No, younger." I whispered as I wiped a tear from my eye.
"20?" He asked as he sat back and looked at me. I shook my head and silently cried.
"19?" I shook my head again and I heard him suck in his breath. He lifted my chin with his hand to stare into my eyes. "18?" He pleaded with me. The look on his face made my heart break. I shook my head once more.
"No." I whispered letting the tears fall once more.
"Chrys, how old are you? Its okay you can tell me." He quickly jumped up and kneeled in front of me.
"17." I whispered. I heard his quick in take of breath before falling back on his feet rubbing his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."
I ran up the stairs and started grabbing my belongings and was heading out of the bedroom. I got to the bottom of the stairs and walked past the archway of the den. He was sitting there staring into space running his hand across his face. I felt the tears start to fall again and left. I was hoping he would come after me but I finally got to my apartment twenty minutes later and was still alone.
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