FicWad

It was about an hour after Gerard had come into the bus, and Frank was shaking from sobbing so hard. He was curled up into a ball on the couch, huddled into Gerard’s side. He had confessed everything, told Gee about what the relationship with Andy was doing to him. Frank felt insanely guilty dumping all this on Gerard, who he knew was happier than ever, but Frank needed Gerard to know.
Gerard was a turmoil of emotions. He knew if he wanted to fix Frank, he would most likely have to break up with Andy. He just couldn’t do that, it would hurt too much, but Frank had been his best friend for years. How could he leave him to wither and die of this much pain? Gerard was faced with the impossible decision: New love, or old friendship?
Everyone knew that no matter which path the pair went, people would be severely damaged, maybe even beyond repair. But a choice had to be made, and they were both dreaming up a solution they knew would never work.
Gerard was musing over the possibility of breaking up with Andy to be with Frank, until Frank could learn to live on his own. Then he would slowly distance himself, and draw back to Andy. This was selfish, he knew, and would just hurt Frank in the end, so he threw it out the window. Something else would have to be found.
Frank was mulling over the concept of falling for someone new. He immediately thought of Ashley. He knew Ashley had already started putting the pieces of his shattered heart back together, maybe he could completely heal him. It would take time, but maybe, just maybe...but at the same time he knew in his heart he loved Gerard too much. He might be able to temporarily ignore it and go into another relationship, but it would eventually creep out again, and crush both him and Ashley.
Finally, after an eternity of silence between the two men, Frank looked up at Gerard with still wet eyes. He saw pain on the older man’s face, mixed with indecision and guilt. So much guilt. And Frank knew this contorted face was all his fault. He knew that if he had just muscled through, if he had kept his mouth shut, Gerard would be smiling and laughing with Andy right now. But Frank was selfish. He fell into this hole of depression, waiting for someone to notice. And then he crushed Gerard with his love for him.
“Gerard,” Frank whispered, trepidation lacing his gentle voice, “What are you thinking?”
Gerard looked down at his best friend, and responded, “I’m thinking I’m stuck between a rock and a hard spot right now. I can’t let you go on like this, but...” He looked down at the ground, not wanting to finish his sentence.
Frank looked away, and nodded to show he comprehended. “Andy means so much to you,” he murmured, “It would crush you to leave him. I know the feeling.” Frank laughed darkly, and looked back up at Gerard, fresh tears leaking down his cheeks. “I feel the same way about you,” Frank continued, “If I ever got you, I would never let you go for anything.”
“I’m sorry Frank,” Gerard said softly, “I’m so sorry for all of this. I should have seen...should have felt...should have known...that those stage kisses meant so much more to you.” Gerard’s eyes were glistening by this point with tears he refused to shed. “I have a confession to make too,” Gerard said, knowing that the words that followed may hurt Frank even more, “I used to feel the same way about you.”
Frank gasped, and said quickly, “Really?”
Gerard nodded somberly and whispered, “But I thought you were straight...and then I met Andy...Y’know what, just forget I said anything. I was stupid to bring it up. It probably just hurt you more, and it doesn’t matter anymore.”
Gerard was right. Those words did just wound Frank even more. This confirmed everything that had been upsetting him so much. He was right. If he had just acted sooner, everything he wanted and loved could have been his. But he was too much of a coward to say anything. And now he was paying the price.

A/N: Soooo....I’m back. I’m really sorry about being gone so long, and then giving you this piece of shit. I promise next chapter will be better and will be up in a more timely fashion. But then again, I always say that, and I never actually do it. :/ But I swear I’ll try! Now I gotta go and review stuff, so bye bye. R&R to tell me how bad this is.