Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Poison
No one seemed to read the last chapter. Hmmmm...
The Poison
Chapter Eleven
Because sometimes, we both lose our minds
To find a better road
The store met my expectations- it was clean and light inside, with friendly-enough workers to welcome me inside. I nodded at the smiling employees and made my way over to the junior’s rack, keeping a close eye out for anything that would fit my bony frame. My fingers skimmed along the fabrics, stopping at one shirt, which I pulled out. It was a long-sleeved black and white striped shirt with a boatneck - something almost exactly like what I’d normally wear. I draped it over my arm to try on and continued searching.
I soon came across a three-quarter sleeved shirt with a Native American-inspired design sprawled across the front, followed by a very short pair of shorts with many holes ripped in the denim.
Nice, I thought. If your washer’s made out of chainsaws.
I replaced the shorts and kept the shirt, putting it with the other one. Already I was beginning to feel a tired pull on my eyelids- even though I had only spent five minutes in the store, it had already tired me out. I was the type of person that liked the idea of shopping, but when the time came to actually do so, it all just becomes a big, tedious chore. I yawned and let my head droop for a few minutes of shut-eye, wishing for the day to pass by quicker.
I rushed through picking out my clothes from then on- a distressed union jack shirt, a black shirt with a graphic rabbit-and-heart print, and two pairs of jeans being the ones I chose. I paused at the dress shelves, my fingers inches away from a black skater dress. My breathing stopped.
Because I swore that I had seen a flash of black hair and hazel eyes out of the corner of my eye.
The second time today, I thought to myself. Atropine, you’re going crazy.
I focused on the dress, giving it another once-over before finally grabbing it. Deciding that I had enough clothes, I began to walk towards the checkout area. The woman at the counter smiled at me and took my clothes, flicking through the tags before scanning them.
“Okay, so your total is $98.73.” she said, handing me the bag of clothes. I gave her the money and took back the change, but as I was about to leave, I heard her call me back.
“Hey, hon?” she asked, her eyes flicking around to see if anyone was within hearing distance. “Can I ask you a quick question?”
“Um...sure?” I said uncertainly, both hands clutching the bag defensively.
“I know this’ll sound kinda creepy but I saw you earlier with that one black haired guy- um, Gerard, was it?”
“Yeah.”
She nodded. “Uh-huh. So... what’s the deal with you two? At first I thought you were cousins or something, and then I saw him, uh...”
I thought for a minute. For a person who spent so much time thinking about such a thing, I was pretty clueless when it came to my actual relationship with Gerard. What was I to him? “If you want the truth, I really don’t know myself.” I said honestly.
The girl’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
“Well, I’ve heard a thing or two about him, and since you’re young and all... well... I thought that...” she trailed off, pursing her lips as she searched for the right set of words. “I thought that you were his...”
“Sugar baby?” I interjected bluntly.
She pursed her lips to keep from wincing. “Well, if that’s how you’d like to put it, then I guess so, yeah.”
I was starting to get impatient- just what was she getting at?
“Well... are you?” she asked after awhile.
I shrugged. “Well, I like to think not. But like I said before, I’m not actually sure.”
The girl closed her eyes. “That’s what I thought.” she muttered.
“What’s it to you, anyway?” I said, not meaning to sound rude.
“Nothing. I’ve just seen a lot of girls come and go here, and I’ve always seen... him with ‘em. I was just curious. Sorry.”
“S’okay.” I mumbled, suddenly going numb.
“Well, here’s something for your trouble.” she said, pulling a plastic bag out from under the counter and giving it to me.
I took it grudgingly, expecting to find a pipe bomb or a government drone in it, nodding as I began to leave. I took in a breath and held it, expecting the alarms to go off as soon as I passed them, but heard nothing from the ominous flashing arches. A quick glance over my shoulder gave me enough evidence that the girl had already scanned the dress (for whatever reason), and I sped my walk up to a jog.
I took an alternate route this time, not wanting to have another run-in with Libby. Not the wisest choice, on my part. Since I didn’t know the layout of the city, I ended up running into more dead-ends than I ever thought possible and at least a hundred leering stares were directed my way. Luckily, I found my way to the truck on time and could breathe a small sigh of relief- finally, I could return to the more familiar threshold of my home.
Wait.
My home?
I had only spent a few months living there as a needy leech, and suddenly I was calling it mine? What the hell was wrong with me? And anyway, who knows how many other girls had stayed in the very room in which I slept? How many of them had lived with Gerard? How many of them had…
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. Why was this upsetting me so much? I hadn’t decided to sleep with him. I hadn’t decided to declare myself as his obscenely young arm charm. And when one takes that all into consideration, it’s only logical to say that I feel nothing for him. It was true that he was attractive, but so was every other jerk at my school.
Attractiveness doesn’t equal love.
I tried to convince myself of this for awhile, stressing that sentence in my mind over and over again. I don’t love him, I don’t love him, I chanted, screwing my face up in concentration. I probably looked like a lunatic, but I could care less at the moment. What actually mattered then was convincing the sappy side of me, the one that insatiably imagined my life in the form of a cliché romance novel, that it’s not fucking possible for me to feel anything like love towards Gerard.
I wasn’t stupid, I wasn’t some naïve little idealist that forgave everyone for everything, and I wasn’t a hopeless romantic of any kind. I knew Gerard wasn’t right in the head. I knew he would one day force me into his bed again.
And yet, I still stayed with him.
No amount of logic could explain that.
I groaned, head in hands, and again squinted at nothing in an effort to make sense of my thoughts. My tongue darted out of my mouth and licked my dry lips, all the while my brain reeling, thinking back to what the girl in the store had said.
I didn’t have time to think anything over, though, because soon Gerard arrived, two bags in hand.
“You’re early,” he remarked, putting our bags in the capacious trunk.
I shrugged. “There wasn’t much to do. I just bought some clothes.”
“I thought girls liked shopping.” Gerard murmured, holding the door open for me.
“Then you’re mistaken.” I retorted, sliding in.
The ride back home was slightly less awkward than the one there, since both of us were tired from the outing and had no reason to talk. I fiddled with my hands throughout, folding them, sitting on them, and sometimes just staring at them. Gerard, in turn, played with the radio in an impatient manner that only those who were looking for something would. I felt an agonizing urge to ask him if he had been following me, but, having spent almost three months with the man, I was well aware that he held fast to his ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, and he wasn’t planning on revealing his secrets anytime soon.
As he flicked hurriedly through the stations, I heard a snippet of a conversation that sent chills down my spine. I pressed my hand against Gerard’s, stopping him at that station.
“And the missing person- Atropine- you suspect her to be kidnapped?”
“Oh, yes!” a blubbering, snot-clogged voice lamented. “I can’t imagine how she must feel now! Lost… alone… cold… it’s just so awful to think about!”
I gulped- I knew that voice well. It was my mother’s, the small, delicate voice that once sang me to sleep, and now was one of the many unpleasant memories I left behind at my old home.
I didn’t think she would notice when I first ran away- I then realized how stupid I was. Of course she’d notice- her only daughter, missing.
How long ago had she found out? How many people could match my name with my face at the store? How many of them would call my mother and turn Gerard in?
Questions knifed through my semi-content mood like it was hot butter. I hadn’t realized how fragile my new life was- all it took was one phone call and I’d be back with my parents, abused and beaten once again. I felt a sudden tug towards Gerard- I think I might be closer to him than I ever had been with my birth parents. I didn’t want to leave him, or Alicia, or Mikey. They were all too important.
I would have to lie low for awhile, not show my face as I had done today so casually, if I wanted to stay with them. For the time being, I needed to find something else to dwell on. I found something right away- the bags.
What had been in mine? I earlier expected some explosive, but now my suspicion leaned more towards the normal side. A pair of shoes, perhaps? It was an odd thing to give to a stranger, but the cashier seemed like a rather off-beat person.
And what of Gerard’s own shopping loot? I expected it to be normal things- food, paint, and the like. Maybe some new tools, as we all had planned on continuing the repairs of the house when it got warmer.
I was left to wonder for the rest of the trip, my unexpected run-in with my hysterical mother all but forgotten by the time we pulled in.
-.-.-
Gerard unloaded his own bags quickly, not even sparing me a glance as he rushed back into the house. He seemed loathe to let me see them, unusually secretive, even for him.
I brought my clothes back up to my room without a hurry, folding them neatly in the green wardrobe. As I did so, I caught myself staring at the intricate swirls painted on the wall- I think I knew who painted them now.
“You’d be correct.”
I gasped, dropping the shirt I was holding. Lindsey stood behind me, her spectral blue lips forming a small smirk. My breath flew out of me in an irritated sigh and I picked the shirt back up, choosing to ignore her.
“I did do the paint in here.” she continued. “Against Gerard’s better judgment, of course. He ended up liking it, though.”
I nodded absently, silently wondering how long it took for her to translate such a complicated design onto all four walls. As far as I knew, there wasn’t a flaw to be seen.
“Thank you.”
I shivered again. “Will you please stop reading my mind? It’s freaking me out!”
Lindsey shrugged noncommittally. “Can’t help it. It’s my nature.”
I grunted dully and closed the door, now faced with the mystery bag. Pulling it over to the chair, I sat cross-legged on the white cushion, with Lindsey hovering beside me.
“What’s in the pretty bag?” she asked, leaning over.
“Not sure. I guess we’ll find out in a few seconds.” I answered, impatiently digging through the unreasonable amount of tissue paper.
My fingers fell upon rough canvas and hardened rubber- maybe I was right about the shoes. I pulled them out to see that they were dark blue Converse high tops- a little worn around the edges, as if they had been used before. I shrugged- that really was a weird thing to give to someone you hardly knew. I got up, ready to shove it under the bed, but I felt another weight in the bag. Something was still in there.
Again, my hand plunged into the plastic bag, searching curiously, and suddenly soft cotton, the very antithesis of the rough shoes from before, was entangled between my fingers. I eagerly pulled it out, not knowing what to expect anymore.
A sundress. White, with a delicate flower design along the triangular neck.
I dropped it back into the bag. I already had one dress, and that was enough.
“Damn.” Lindsey fake-pouted. “That was a nice dress. What’d you do that for?”
“I don’t need another one.” I grunted brusquely. “You can have it.”
“I would if I could.” she mumbled.
I ignored her, falling down on the bed and closing my eyes. It had been a taxing day, and I was more than ready for a spot of sleep.
Unfortunately, before I could, Alicia burst in and Lindsey evaporated back into her own spirit world.
“Hey Atropine!” she squealed. “I found something cool!”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” I yawned, rolling onto my side.
Alicia placed her hands on her hips, giving me an annoyed look. “Don’t ‘yeah, sure, whatever’ me! Come on, I’ve gotta show you this!”
With astounding strength, she pulled me off the bed and pulled me into her room, and into another smaller, darker one. I took a moment to regain my bearings and looked around as I did so- we were in a concrete-walled room, lit by a single bare light bulb.
And there were pictures.
Tons of them- at least a few hundred, I’d wager- most of them focused on on subject and one subject only. Lindsey. Laughing, smiling, crying, and sometimes just sitting there, deep in thought. I hadn’t realized how beautiful she was until then- but she was.
Alicia held up a face shot next to my head, squinting disbelievingly as she stared.
“Atropine, put your hair in pigtails.” she instructed.
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I obeyed, still unsure of what she was getting at. She scowled deeply, placing a contemplative hand on her chin.
“Damn, you’re a dead ringer for her, almost.” she murmured, putting the photograph down.
I looked down at the picture- it was true that she was prettier, but Alicia was right. I really did bear a suspicious resemblance to my spectral friend.
Suddenly, the light bulb flickered out and our light source came from the open door, where Gerard stood with murder in his eyes. My throat caught on the stench of alcohol that emitted from him- he was drunk. That meant trouble.
Le gasp! And so the plot thickens...
The Poison
Chapter Eleven
Because sometimes, we both lose our minds
To find a better road
The store met my expectations- it was clean and light inside, with friendly-enough workers to welcome me inside. I nodded at the smiling employees and made my way over to the junior’s rack, keeping a close eye out for anything that would fit my bony frame. My fingers skimmed along the fabrics, stopping at one shirt, which I pulled out. It was a long-sleeved black and white striped shirt with a boatneck - something almost exactly like what I’d normally wear. I draped it over my arm to try on and continued searching.
I soon came across a three-quarter sleeved shirt with a Native American-inspired design sprawled across the front, followed by a very short pair of shorts with many holes ripped in the denim.
Nice, I thought. If your washer’s made out of chainsaws.
I replaced the shorts and kept the shirt, putting it with the other one. Already I was beginning to feel a tired pull on my eyelids- even though I had only spent five minutes in the store, it had already tired me out. I was the type of person that liked the idea of shopping, but when the time came to actually do so, it all just becomes a big, tedious chore. I yawned and let my head droop for a few minutes of shut-eye, wishing for the day to pass by quicker.
I rushed through picking out my clothes from then on- a distressed union jack shirt, a black shirt with a graphic rabbit-and-heart print, and two pairs of jeans being the ones I chose. I paused at the dress shelves, my fingers inches away from a black skater dress. My breathing stopped.
Because I swore that I had seen a flash of black hair and hazel eyes out of the corner of my eye.
The second time today, I thought to myself. Atropine, you’re going crazy.
I focused on the dress, giving it another once-over before finally grabbing it. Deciding that I had enough clothes, I began to walk towards the checkout area. The woman at the counter smiled at me and took my clothes, flicking through the tags before scanning them.
“Okay, so your total is $98.73.” she said, handing me the bag of clothes. I gave her the money and took back the change, but as I was about to leave, I heard her call me back.
“Hey, hon?” she asked, her eyes flicking around to see if anyone was within hearing distance. “Can I ask you a quick question?”
“Um...sure?” I said uncertainly, both hands clutching the bag defensively.
“I know this’ll sound kinda creepy but I saw you earlier with that one black haired guy- um, Gerard, was it?”
“Yeah.”
She nodded. “Uh-huh. So... what’s the deal with you two? At first I thought you were cousins or something, and then I saw him, uh...”
I thought for a minute. For a person who spent so much time thinking about such a thing, I was pretty clueless when it came to my actual relationship with Gerard. What was I to him? “If you want the truth, I really don’t know myself.” I said honestly.
The girl’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
“Well, I’ve heard a thing or two about him, and since you’re young and all... well... I thought that...” she trailed off, pursing her lips as she searched for the right set of words. “I thought that you were his...”
“Sugar baby?” I interjected bluntly.
She pursed her lips to keep from wincing. “Well, if that’s how you’d like to put it, then I guess so, yeah.”
I was starting to get impatient- just what was she getting at?
“Well... are you?” she asked after awhile.
I shrugged. “Well, I like to think not. But like I said before, I’m not actually sure.”
The girl closed her eyes. “That’s what I thought.” she muttered.
“What’s it to you, anyway?” I said, not meaning to sound rude.
“Nothing. I’ve just seen a lot of girls come and go here, and I’ve always seen... him with ‘em. I was just curious. Sorry.”
“S’okay.” I mumbled, suddenly going numb.
“Well, here’s something for your trouble.” she said, pulling a plastic bag out from under the counter and giving it to me.
I took it grudgingly, expecting to find a pipe bomb or a government drone in it, nodding as I began to leave. I took in a breath and held it, expecting the alarms to go off as soon as I passed them, but heard nothing from the ominous flashing arches. A quick glance over my shoulder gave me enough evidence that the girl had already scanned the dress (for whatever reason), and I sped my walk up to a jog.
I took an alternate route this time, not wanting to have another run-in with Libby. Not the wisest choice, on my part. Since I didn’t know the layout of the city, I ended up running into more dead-ends than I ever thought possible and at least a hundred leering stares were directed my way. Luckily, I found my way to the truck on time and could breathe a small sigh of relief- finally, I could return to the more familiar threshold of my home.
Wait.
My home?
I had only spent a few months living there as a needy leech, and suddenly I was calling it mine? What the hell was wrong with me? And anyway, who knows how many other girls had stayed in the very room in which I slept? How many of them had lived with Gerard? How many of them had…
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. Why was this upsetting me so much? I hadn’t decided to sleep with him. I hadn’t decided to declare myself as his obscenely young arm charm. And when one takes that all into consideration, it’s only logical to say that I feel nothing for him. It was true that he was attractive, but so was every other jerk at my school.
Attractiveness doesn’t equal love.
I tried to convince myself of this for awhile, stressing that sentence in my mind over and over again. I don’t love him, I don’t love him, I chanted, screwing my face up in concentration. I probably looked like a lunatic, but I could care less at the moment. What actually mattered then was convincing the sappy side of me, the one that insatiably imagined my life in the form of a cliché romance novel, that it’s not fucking possible for me to feel anything like love towards Gerard.
I wasn’t stupid, I wasn’t some naïve little idealist that forgave everyone for everything, and I wasn’t a hopeless romantic of any kind. I knew Gerard wasn’t right in the head. I knew he would one day force me into his bed again.
And yet, I still stayed with him.
No amount of logic could explain that.
I groaned, head in hands, and again squinted at nothing in an effort to make sense of my thoughts. My tongue darted out of my mouth and licked my dry lips, all the while my brain reeling, thinking back to what the girl in the store had said.
I didn’t have time to think anything over, though, because soon Gerard arrived, two bags in hand.
“You’re early,” he remarked, putting our bags in the capacious trunk.
I shrugged. “There wasn’t much to do. I just bought some clothes.”
“I thought girls liked shopping.” Gerard murmured, holding the door open for me.
“Then you’re mistaken.” I retorted, sliding in.
The ride back home was slightly less awkward than the one there, since both of us were tired from the outing and had no reason to talk. I fiddled with my hands throughout, folding them, sitting on them, and sometimes just staring at them. Gerard, in turn, played with the radio in an impatient manner that only those who were looking for something would. I felt an agonizing urge to ask him if he had been following me, but, having spent almost three months with the man, I was well aware that he held fast to his ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, and he wasn’t planning on revealing his secrets anytime soon.
As he flicked hurriedly through the stations, I heard a snippet of a conversation that sent chills down my spine. I pressed my hand against Gerard’s, stopping him at that station.
“And the missing person- Atropine- you suspect her to be kidnapped?”
“Oh, yes!” a blubbering, snot-clogged voice lamented. “I can’t imagine how she must feel now! Lost… alone… cold… it’s just so awful to think about!”
I gulped- I knew that voice well. It was my mother’s, the small, delicate voice that once sang me to sleep, and now was one of the many unpleasant memories I left behind at my old home.
I didn’t think she would notice when I first ran away- I then realized how stupid I was. Of course she’d notice- her only daughter, missing.
How long ago had she found out? How many people could match my name with my face at the store? How many of them would call my mother and turn Gerard in?
Questions knifed through my semi-content mood like it was hot butter. I hadn’t realized how fragile my new life was- all it took was one phone call and I’d be back with my parents, abused and beaten once again. I felt a sudden tug towards Gerard- I think I might be closer to him than I ever had been with my birth parents. I didn’t want to leave him, or Alicia, or Mikey. They were all too important.
I would have to lie low for awhile, not show my face as I had done today so casually, if I wanted to stay with them. For the time being, I needed to find something else to dwell on. I found something right away- the bags.
What had been in mine? I earlier expected some explosive, but now my suspicion leaned more towards the normal side. A pair of shoes, perhaps? It was an odd thing to give to a stranger, but the cashier seemed like a rather off-beat person.
And what of Gerard’s own shopping loot? I expected it to be normal things- food, paint, and the like. Maybe some new tools, as we all had planned on continuing the repairs of the house when it got warmer.
I was left to wonder for the rest of the trip, my unexpected run-in with my hysterical mother all but forgotten by the time we pulled in.
-.-.-
Gerard unloaded his own bags quickly, not even sparing me a glance as he rushed back into the house. He seemed loathe to let me see them, unusually secretive, even for him.
I brought my clothes back up to my room without a hurry, folding them neatly in the green wardrobe. As I did so, I caught myself staring at the intricate swirls painted on the wall- I think I knew who painted them now.
“You’d be correct.”
I gasped, dropping the shirt I was holding. Lindsey stood behind me, her spectral blue lips forming a small smirk. My breath flew out of me in an irritated sigh and I picked the shirt back up, choosing to ignore her.
“I did do the paint in here.” she continued. “Against Gerard’s better judgment, of course. He ended up liking it, though.”
I nodded absently, silently wondering how long it took for her to translate such a complicated design onto all four walls. As far as I knew, there wasn’t a flaw to be seen.
“Thank you.”
I shivered again. “Will you please stop reading my mind? It’s freaking me out!”
Lindsey shrugged noncommittally. “Can’t help it. It’s my nature.”
I grunted dully and closed the door, now faced with the mystery bag. Pulling it over to the chair, I sat cross-legged on the white cushion, with Lindsey hovering beside me.
“What’s in the pretty bag?” she asked, leaning over.
“Not sure. I guess we’ll find out in a few seconds.” I answered, impatiently digging through the unreasonable amount of tissue paper.
My fingers fell upon rough canvas and hardened rubber- maybe I was right about the shoes. I pulled them out to see that they were dark blue Converse high tops- a little worn around the edges, as if they had been used before. I shrugged- that really was a weird thing to give to someone you hardly knew. I got up, ready to shove it under the bed, but I felt another weight in the bag. Something was still in there.
Again, my hand plunged into the plastic bag, searching curiously, and suddenly soft cotton, the very antithesis of the rough shoes from before, was entangled between my fingers. I eagerly pulled it out, not knowing what to expect anymore.
A sundress. White, with a delicate flower design along the triangular neck.
I dropped it back into the bag. I already had one dress, and that was enough.
“Damn.” Lindsey fake-pouted. “That was a nice dress. What’d you do that for?”
“I don’t need another one.” I grunted brusquely. “You can have it.”
“I would if I could.” she mumbled.
I ignored her, falling down on the bed and closing my eyes. It had been a taxing day, and I was more than ready for a spot of sleep.
Unfortunately, before I could, Alicia burst in and Lindsey evaporated back into her own spirit world.
“Hey Atropine!” she squealed. “I found something cool!”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” I yawned, rolling onto my side.
Alicia placed her hands on her hips, giving me an annoyed look. “Don’t ‘yeah, sure, whatever’ me! Come on, I’ve gotta show you this!”
With astounding strength, she pulled me off the bed and pulled me into her room, and into another smaller, darker one. I took a moment to regain my bearings and looked around as I did so- we were in a concrete-walled room, lit by a single bare light bulb.
And there were pictures.
Tons of them- at least a few hundred, I’d wager- most of them focused on on subject and one subject only. Lindsey. Laughing, smiling, crying, and sometimes just sitting there, deep in thought. I hadn’t realized how beautiful she was until then- but she was.
Alicia held up a face shot next to my head, squinting disbelievingly as she stared.
“Atropine, put your hair in pigtails.” she instructed.
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I obeyed, still unsure of what she was getting at. She scowled deeply, placing a contemplative hand on her chin.
“Damn, you’re a dead ringer for her, almost.” she murmured, putting the photograph down.
I looked down at the picture- it was true that she was prettier, but Alicia was right. I really did bear a suspicious resemblance to my spectral friend.
Suddenly, the light bulb flickered out and our light source came from the open door, where Gerard stood with murder in his eyes. My throat caught on the stench of alcohol that emitted from him- he was drunk. That meant trouble.
Le gasp! And so the plot thickens...
Sign up to rate and review this story