Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > recovering my life
That night the nightmares weren't as bad as they had been before and although I woke up with my now trademark red-rimmed eyes from crying I felt happier than I normally did in the morning. I shoved on some faded blue skinnies, long-sleeve grey top and brown ankle boots before heading downstairs already anticipating my morning coffee.
"Are you going out after school today?" Dad asked
"Yeah round Amy's again." We were gonna try and get hurt no more down.
"Okay same time as before?"
"Yup!"
I was actually excited as I walked into school, looking forward to telling Amy and Ellen all about Drew, I had no idea what was going to happen next. As I made my way down the corridor I felt someone shove against the wall followed by several vicious sounding cackles.
"Look it's our school's very own celebrity!" Said the girl standing at the front. She had fake blonde hair down to her waist and was currently wearing a malicious grin on her spray tanned face. This was Milly Stewart. I suppose I had been lucky to avoid her attention so far, she gave the others grief regularly and why should I be any different?
"See freak you've even managed to get your ugly face in the papers!"
She held a copy of some newspaper I didn't know the name of but recognised as a national one. She was right; staring out of the paper was a picture of me and Dad from a couple of weeks back when he had taken me to the studio with him. The headline wasn't particularly inventive but it got the point across "Gerard Way's Secret Daughter!” Crap.
"You think you're so special just because your Daddy makes some emo-crap music? Well I’ve got news for you, when you're in school you are nothing. In fact you're nothing out of school as well. Just some fat, ugly emo midget whose mum clearly hated her so much she went and topped herself." I couldn't hold it back when she brought my mum into it.
"She died of a heart attack not suicide you stupid slut!" Her face lost its mocking expression then and I realised I had just made a terrible mistake. She grabbed me by the throat shoving back against the wall again. Hard.
"I wouldn't answer back if I were you." She said. Face so close to mine I could smell her peppermint scented breath. "I WILL end you, if you ever dare to insult me again." She then punched me in stomach so hard I had difficulty breathing and waltzed off with her army of robo-sluts giggling around her.
"See you around Freak!" She called over her shoulder as she disappeared.
How had the papers found out about me? And also what was I going to do about my Milly problem?
"OH MY GOD TAMMY!" I looked round to see Ellen running towards me. "What happened?!"
"Milly Stewart." Her face looked grave then.
"Did you piss her off?"
"At first she was just having a go because i'm in the papers, but then she brought my Mum into it and i got so mad I called her a stupid slut..."
"Crap this is bad." Ellen said shaking her head. "You have managed to make one seriously bitchy enemy there. Come on I’ll help you to English." she said letting me lean on her. When walked in we got some odd looks from most of the class apart from our friends who rushed over to see what was wrong (the teacher wasn't there yet.)
"Tammy what happened?" Amy asked
"Milly saw me in the news and decided to come after me..."
"She also called Milly a stupid slut." Ellen added for me. They all looked very worried then.
"Why did you do that?" Tom asked
"She tried to claim my Mum killed herself but she didn't. She died of a heart attack. She didn't kill herself!" I was crying now. Talking about Mum was bringing back the memories
I had been suppressing... not to mention the fact this was the first I had told them of my Mum.
"It's okay Tammy, we believe you." Ellen said hugging me.
"How did Milly know about your Mum being... you know?" Alex asked
"It said in the article." Amy said abruptly causing us to look over at her; she was holding the paper in her hands and quickly scanning it.
"Bastards don't know when to stop." Alex said angrily. I had never seen him so angry, it was kinda scary. Or at least it would have been if he weren't on my side.
"Tammy" he said turning to face me, tone softening. "Have you seen anyone hanging around your road?"
"No. I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary." The teacher then chose to walk in bringing our conversation to an abrupt end.
I sat in my seat at the back of the classroom. I was scared, panicked, in pain, paranoid and the only way I knew to rid myself of those feelings was hidden in the back of my phone. The lesson rushed by and when the bell rang I sprinted to the toilets, locking myself in the cubical furthest from the door. I reached into my pocket and brought out my phone, sliding the back off to reveal the small razor blade hidden inside. I hadn't cut for months but as I dragged the blade across the skin on my thigh I couldn't think of anything other than the desperate action I was performing. A while later I had bandaged my leg up and walked into the canteen.
“Are you okay Tammy? You took off real fast back there…”Amy asked
“Yeah I’m fine; I just needed some fresh air.”
“Are you sure because you look awfully pale”
“Well that is part of the reason why I needed fresh air.” She dropped it thank god.
“So Tom tells us your song is fabulous!” Alex smiled at me obviously trying to cheer me up.
“Thanks Tom” I grinned at him.
“Yeah well it’s true! Now are you gonna tell us how it went with Drew?”
“WAIT! Who’s Drew?!” Ellen shrieked
“He’s my friend; you remember the one from the Christmas party?”
“You mean you have friends other than us?!” Alex said in a scandalized voice
“SHUT UP YOU TWO AND LET TAMMY TELL US!!” Ellen yelled impatiently
“Well he’s kinda my boyfriend now…” I started but was interrupted by Amy and Ellen screaming and rushing round the table to hug me.
“Tammy you realise this means you owe me since I introduced you two?” Tom grinned
“Whatever.”
“I hope he makes you happy sunshine. Because if he hurts you I might have to kill him!” Alex said in a not 100% jokey voice.
“Chill Alex he isn’t a dick!” He just laughed and gave me a hug.
“You have to introduce him to us!” Amy poked me
“That reminds me!” Tom exclaimed. “I’m having a party on Saturday, you can meet him there!”
“YAY!!” Amy laughed. I then felt my pocket vibrate with a text.
Saw the paper. Are you okay? xxx Drew
yeah i'm fine. I hear you're going to Tom's on sat? xxx Tammy
yeah it's gonna be epic! xxx Drew
It is though I should warn you, Amy and Ellen are totally gonna ambush you! xxx Tammy
Oh well should still be fun! gotta go now talk to you soon sweetie! xxxxx Drew
Just as that last text arrived Amy had grabbed my phone out of my hand to see who was texting me.
"Awww look its loverboy!"
"Shut up and give the phone back!"
"Okay but he is adorable just so you know!" I rolled my eyes and ignored her. As the bell went I stood up to go but almost fell back in my seat as a sudden jolt of pain came from my thigh. I looked around and luckily no one had seemed to notice... apart from Alex that is.
"You okay?" He asked me gently
"I'm fine, just stood up awkwardly!" He didn't seem convinced but decided to let it pass.
"Okay just be careful sunshine, I don't wanna be the one to explain to your Dad how you got trampled in the canteen!" He said the last bit as a joke but the beginning seemed like a genuine warning. Did he suspect?
"Are you going out after school today?" Dad asked
"Yeah round Amy's again." We were gonna try and get hurt no more down.
"Okay same time as before?"
"Yup!"
I was actually excited as I walked into school, looking forward to telling Amy and Ellen all about Drew, I had no idea what was going to happen next. As I made my way down the corridor I felt someone shove against the wall followed by several vicious sounding cackles.
"Look it's our school's very own celebrity!" Said the girl standing at the front. She had fake blonde hair down to her waist and was currently wearing a malicious grin on her spray tanned face. This was Milly Stewart. I suppose I had been lucky to avoid her attention so far, she gave the others grief regularly and why should I be any different?
"See freak you've even managed to get your ugly face in the papers!"
She held a copy of some newspaper I didn't know the name of but recognised as a national one. She was right; staring out of the paper was a picture of me and Dad from a couple of weeks back when he had taken me to the studio with him. The headline wasn't particularly inventive but it got the point across "Gerard Way's Secret Daughter!” Crap.
"You think you're so special just because your Daddy makes some emo-crap music? Well I’ve got news for you, when you're in school you are nothing. In fact you're nothing out of school as well. Just some fat, ugly emo midget whose mum clearly hated her so much she went and topped herself." I couldn't hold it back when she brought my mum into it.
"She died of a heart attack not suicide you stupid slut!" Her face lost its mocking expression then and I realised I had just made a terrible mistake. She grabbed me by the throat shoving back against the wall again. Hard.
"I wouldn't answer back if I were you." She said. Face so close to mine I could smell her peppermint scented breath. "I WILL end you, if you ever dare to insult me again." She then punched me in stomach so hard I had difficulty breathing and waltzed off with her army of robo-sluts giggling around her.
"See you around Freak!" She called over her shoulder as she disappeared.
How had the papers found out about me? And also what was I going to do about my Milly problem?
"OH MY GOD TAMMY!" I looked round to see Ellen running towards me. "What happened?!"
"Milly Stewart." Her face looked grave then.
"Did you piss her off?"
"At first she was just having a go because i'm in the papers, but then she brought my Mum into it and i got so mad I called her a stupid slut..."
"Crap this is bad." Ellen said shaking her head. "You have managed to make one seriously bitchy enemy there. Come on I’ll help you to English." she said letting me lean on her. When walked in we got some odd looks from most of the class apart from our friends who rushed over to see what was wrong (the teacher wasn't there yet.)
"Tammy what happened?" Amy asked
"Milly saw me in the news and decided to come after me..."
"She also called Milly a stupid slut." Ellen added for me. They all looked very worried then.
"Why did you do that?" Tom asked
"She tried to claim my Mum killed herself but she didn't. She died of a heart attack. She didn't kill herself!" I was crying now. Talking about Mum was bringing back the memories
I had been suppressing... not to mention the fact this was the first I had told them of my Mum.
"It's okay Tammy, we believe you." Ellen said hugging me.
"How did Milly know about your Mum being... you know?" Alex asked
"It said in the article." Amy said abruptly causing us to look over at her; she was holding the paper in her hands and quickly scanning it.
"Bastards don't know when to stop." Alex said angrily. I had never seen him so angry, it was kinda scary. Or at least it would have been if he weren't on my side.
"Tammy" he said turning to face me, tone softening. "Have you seen anyone hanging around your road?"
"No. I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary." The teacher then chose to walk in bringing our conversation to an abrupt end.
I sat in my seat at the back of the classroom. I was scared, panicked, in pain, paranoid and the only way I knew to rid myself of those feelings was hidden in the back of my phone. The lesson rushed by and when the bell rang I sprinted to the toilets, locking myself in the cubical furthest from the door. I reached into my pocket and brought out my phone, sliding the back off to reveal the small razor blade hidden inside. I hadn't cut for months but as I dragged the blade across the skin on my thigh I couldn't think of anything other than the desperate action I was performing. A while later I had bandaged my leg up and walked into the canteen.
“Are you okay Tammy? You took off real fast back there…”Amy asked
“Yeah I’m fine; I just needed some fresh air.”
“Are you sure because you look awfully pale”
“Well that is part of the reason why I needed fresh air.” She dropped it thank god.
“So Tom tells us your song is fabulous!” Alex smiled at me obviously trying to cheer me up.
“Thanks Tom” I grinned at him.
“Yeah well it’s true! Now are you gonna tell us how it went with Drew?”
“WAIT! Who’s Drew?!” Ellen shrieked
“He’s my friend; you remember the one from the Christmas party?”
“You mean you have friends other than us?!” Alex said in a scandalized voice
“SHUT UP YOU TWO AND LET TAMMY TELL US!!” Ellen yelled impatiently
“Well he’s kinda my boyfriend now…” I started but was interrupted by Amy and Ellen screaming and rushing round the table to hug me.
“Tammy you realise this means you owe me since I introduced you two?” Tom grinned
“Whatever.”
“I hope he makes you happy sunshine. Because if he hurts you I might have to kill him!” Alex said in a not 100% jokey voice.
“Chill Alex he isn’t a dick!” He just laughed and gave me a hug.
“You have to introduce him to us!” Amy poked me
“That reminds me!” Tom exclaimed. “I’m having a party on Saturday, you can meet him there!”
“YAY!!” Amy laughed. I then felt my pocket vibrate with a text.
Saw the paper. Are you okay? xxx Drew
yeah i'm fine. I hear you're going to Tom's on sat? xxx Tammy
yeah it's gonna be epic! xxx Drew
It is though I should warn you, Amy and Ellen are totally gonna ambush you! xxx Tammy
Oh well should still be fun! gotta go now talk to you soon sweetie! xxxxx Drew
Just as that last text arrived Amy had grabbed my phone out of my hand to see who was texting me.
"Awww look its loverboy!"
"Shut up and give the phone back!"
"Okay but he is adorable just so you know!" I rolled my eyes and ignored her. As the bell went I stood up to go but almost fell back in my seat as a sudden jolt of pain came from my thigh. I looked around and luckily no one had seemed to notice... apart from Alex that is.
"You okay?" He asked me gently
"I'm fine, just stood up awkwardly!" He didn't seem convinced but decided to let it pass.
"Okay just be careful sunshine, I don't wanna be the one to explain to your Dad how you got trampled in the canteen!" He said the last bit as a joke but the beginning seemed like a genuine warning. Did he suspect?
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